Chapter 55 - The eavesdroppers

By the brook at sunset on horsey strolled,1

The orchids in the fields are yet to fold,

While the further is yet another day old.2

Fables of fair singers a passel speak,

On golden stairs their reed pipes' a refrain tweak,

Sweet-scented breeze rising by Luoyang's east,

To Luoyang's west, it quieted and ceased.3

The cuckoo's call at dusk has come to rest,

The wining further in tipsiness nests.

The stretches of lands surrounding the Eastern Capital4 had lost their old splendor. A few people mounted on meager horses traipsed with a casual gait the state road5 leading to the city.

The two men were both tall and handsome, though one of them looked a tad sickly. He had a wine jug attached to his waist from which he drank at an unhurried pace — keeping the container in his hand, he swayed it back and forth and took a sip only now and then, savoring his mouthful for a long time, before swallowing deliberately with an indecipherable expression on his face.

An honest and robust-looking teenager trailed behind them.

It was Zhou Zishu's little clique, coming straight from Shuzhong.

To his side, Wen Kexing observed his companion down one gulp after the other. The jug was large, and it hadn't been that long, but he could tell it was nearly empty again.

When the other man tilted his head back anew, he couldn't resist reaching out to grasp Zhou Zishu's forearm. "Drunkard," he said, stopping Zhou Zishu from raising the jug. "That's about enough, don't you think?" Zhou Zishu threw the guy a sidelong glance and switched the jug to his other hand.

"Are you my wife to nag me at every turn?"

Wen Kexing stretched his arm further to snatch at the wine jug.

"We've already slept skin-to-skin," he replied in a solemn tone. "Unless you mean to discard me now that you've toyed with me?"

Zhou Zishu chuckled while fending off one attack after the other.

"I'm only trying to spare you widowhood."

Not caring in the least that Zhang Chengling was within earshot, Wen Kexing carried on in all shamelessness.

"Never mind that. The way things are, with you letting me look and touch, but not do you, I lie awake every night, anyway — a living widow to the un-deceased."

Zhou Zishu's hand slipped, and Wen Kexing did away with the wine jug, victorious.

Zhang Chengling tagged along after the two with his head lowered and his shoulders hunched. He wished a hole would open in the ground for him to plunge in.

Cock-a-hoop at his successful confiscation, Wen Kexing took a deep swig while holding Zhou Zishu's gaze out of the corner of his eyes.

"Nothing fancy, this wine. But the flavors are... passable. Quite good, actually," he commented with a grin.

Zhou Zishu stared at the guy speechlessly for a while. Then, all of a sudden, he urged his steed closer and leaned in to whisper into Wen Kexing's ear:

"Is it true that my lovely wife is losing sleep for too lonely a pillow and too many unsated desires? Your husband is really sorry to have shortchanged you. Tonight, waiting for me after you've bathed and groomed. I'll make sure that you..."

Wen Kexing listened on in rapture, the fantasy playing out vividly in his mind when his fist abruptly closed around empty air — the wine jug was no longer in his hand.

In imitation of the guy, Zhou Zishu cast Wen Kexing a sidelong glance with half-lidded eyes, though instead of being flirtatious, his gaze had rather a mischievous glint to it. It was his turn to look smug: he brandished the jug he had snagged back to rattle it a few times in Wen Kexing's direction before he too took a long guzzle.

Which was when he felt something tiny and hard slide into his mouth.

Zhou Zishu gave a start; he spat the thing out. When he saw what it was, only a small-scale miracle prevented him from leaping off his horse.

A walnut kernel lay in his hand!

Zhou Zishu was so repulsed, that he looked as if he had spat out a chunk of the human brain instead of a bite of nuts. Furious, he glowered at Wen Kexing.

"You fucking bastard!"

Wen Kexing hurried to cup his fist.

"I'm undeserving of such high praise; you're my master in all things!" With a blanched face, Zhou Zishu pointed at Wen Kexing.

"You...!"

He left whatever brilliant retort was on the tip of his tongue unvoiced, however, as his stomach roiled. His imagination was taking him for a trip through the horror gallery: the more nauseating an image was, the less he could refrain from thinking about it.

Wen Kexing approached at a nonchalant pace and grabbed his hand. He stuck out his tongue to swirl it over Zhou Zishu's palm, lapping away the walnut kernel, before he proceeded to chew with relish.

"Hubby, how can you be so picky at your age? Such a waste of hard-earned food..." Zhou Zishu looked away, gagging. It took him a while to recover the ability to speak. "I want a divorce..." he said, his voice faint.*

Wen Kexing burst out laughing.

Zhang Chengling's complexion went through the rainbow as he watched those two old strumpets. After a long while, he finally gathered sufficient courage to catch up with them.

"Shi, Shifu," he mumbled. "Why, why are we going to Luo, Luoyang?"

Zhou Zishu was yet to get rid of his nausea. His face wan and tinged with green, he glared at the boy.

"What else? We're going so that we can find out who's after your puny little hide!"

Zhang Chengling looked at him in confusion. He opened and closed his mouth a few times.

"...Huh?"

Wen Kexing held the bridle of his mount in a loose grip with one hand. He raised his other to stroke his chin. "Back then," he mused, "two separate parties hired two different groups of Scorpions to assassinate the kid..."

"I don't think the man in the red clothes — Sun Ding — intended to kill him," Zhou Zishu cut in. "If he had wanted to, he'd have done so as he had plenty of time. He wouldn't have wasted so much breath questioning the brat instead."

Wen Kexing turned back to scrutinize Zhou Zishu with a pensive look on his face.

"So that's why you want to find out who's behind the second group of Scorpions — those suicide assassins — isn't it?" he asked. "Which must mean... that you intend on locating the Scorpions? And, consequently, that the Scorpions' den is in Luoyang?"

At that, Zhang Chengling gazed at Wen Kexing with adulating eyes. The man was truly a genius who could, as the sayings go, "guess ten truths out of a single fact", "comprehend the entire picture from a side view", and... and...

"infer three axioms from one hypothesis"!6

Zhou Zishu, however, only scoffed.

"All that prattle — are you trying to prove that you're smarter than the brat?"

Used to the barbs, Wen Kexing couldn't be swayed from the topic:

"Do you mean to tell me you actually know where the Scorpions' headquarter is?"

Out of habit, Zhou Zishu reached for his wine jug to take another sip. He remembered what Bastard Wen had put into it only when the container was almost at his lips. Disgusted anew, he could only drop the jug again.

People who ruined great wine had a hell of their own reserved for them in Zhou Zishu's heart. He glowered evilly at Wen Kexing.

"Just because you're ignorant doesn't mean I am as well."

Wen Kexing took one glance at the other man's expression and hurried to concur.

"But of course, of course. That goes without saying," he said in a coaxing tone. "Sir Zhou not only excels at martial arts, but he is also a brilliant mind, with far-reaching eyes and ears. A humble commoner like me wouldn't dream of equalling him..."

Zhou Zishu only thought that the guy was babbling rubbish again, and getting into his groove. He itched to throw a few wallops his way but reflected that it was rather likely he may lose. So, as brave men knew better than to court an assured defeat, he resumed ignoring the guy.

The three of them made their way into the city and found an inn. After they had dined and rested to their hearts' content, Zhou Zishu called Zhang Chengling to his room.

At first, Zhang Chengling didn't suss out his Shifu's motive, so he gaily skittered over. Only to have Zhou Zishu strike at his shoulder by way of greeting.

Zhang Chengling understood then that it was another one of his shifu's surprise exams that could take place anywhere and at any time.

Left with no chance to react, Zhang Chengling dodged the blow by squatting down before he scooted into the room by diving under Zhou Zishu's arm.

Zhou Zishu's brows knitted. The brat had one natural talent: no matter how graceful-looking a stance was, it'd turn into a donkey doing roly-poly once he got around to it. But then, if you wanted to call him out, you'd have a hard time pointing out any mistake because the execution wasn't technically wrong.

Without moving from his seat, Zhou Zishu flipped his palm over and struck again, trapping Zhang Chengling within the reach of his arm.

Zhang Chengling emitted a surprised "Argh!" before he ducked, dropping to the ground with a thud. With his spine sliding against the floorboard, he thereupon wriggled away like an earthworm before bouncing back onto his feet. The small table then wobbled precariously as — to avoid Zhou Zishu's third blow — he stepped onto it with a resounding crash and rolled over, sprawling himself onto his back like a giant toad that got tumbled to the side with his four limbs waving to the ceiling.

The brat followed the sequence by hopping off the table with hands and feet touching the ground at the same time. But then, as he flipped into a standing position, he lost his footing and fell flat on his rear again.

Zhou Zishu's final sweeping kick was thus avoided by another shimmying move (propelled by waggling legs this time); it successfully got him a few steps back and out of reach.

You had to hand it to the boy: his movements did have a flow to them. They even had a theme.

Zhou Zishu was so flummoxed, that smoke threatened to come out of his nostrils. He pointed at the brat.

"How much did the innkeeper pay you for you to mop the floor so thoroughly?!"

Zhang Chengling got up, swaying in embarrassment. He wiped at his nose with his sleeve as he stared back from beneath his lashes with his head shrunken in.

"Mis, Mister Wen said that... any move that can save your life, is a good one. Since, when you get into an actual fight, you can't follow the patterns, anyway. And that if I forget a sequence under stress, I had to improvise..."

"Wen Kexing!" Zhou Zishu bellowed in anger. "Get the hell in here! Just because you're a lousy scumbag, are you trying to sabotage my disciple and turn him into one as well?"

Wen Kexing was leaning against the doorframe, watching the spectacle. He held in his hand another bag of walnuts procured from who knew where and had a mouth crammed full of the disgusting things. Upon hearing Zhou

Zishu's yell, he raised his arm to hide half his face behind his sleeve7 and looked at Zhou Zishu with grief-stricken eyes.

"H-hubby," he said in a trembling voice made all the more muddled by half-chewed nuts. "Are you... Are you spurning your wifey?"

Zhang Chengling gazed over at him with a heart full of sympathy. Indeed, he felt that although Mister Wen wasn't exactly the kind of bride you could present to friends and family, he had at least proven that he could look after the

kitchen and take care of the cooking.8 And even though he was a bit lacking in social graces, he still was handy with dishing out a shellacking. Plus, he was pretty tough and required little maintenance — for such a hard-to-come-by character to be spurned by his Shifu was a real pity.

Zhou Zishu decided to no longer trade drivel with those two. He turned to address Zhang Chengling. "You'll stay at the inn for a few days by yourself. Wait for me while I scout out the Scorpion's turf." "Shifu, let me come with you!" Zhang Chengling exclaimed at once.

"Let you come with me to be a drag?" Zhou Zishu retorted.

Zhang Chengling's face immediately turned rueful.

"Shiiifuuuu ..." he said in a small voice that thrilled with reluctance to part.

Zhou Zishu kicked the boy in the thighs.

"What now? Am I to breastfeed you next? Get lost already. And remember that if your kung-fu hasn't improved when I return, I'll break your lousy legs!"

Woebegone, Zhang Changeling was thus shooed out of the room. Once outside, he counted on his fingers: by his account, with how many times his Shifu "broke his lousy legs" each day, he may soon turn into a centipede.

When he saw that Zhou Zishu was preparing to head out, Wen Kexing pounced forth.

"I'll go with you...!"

Zhou Zishu instantly recoiled to dodge the guy. He reached out a finger and jabbed it into the guy's chest to keep him at a safe distance while eyeing him and his bag of nuts like the Five Poisons and Four Pests.9

Wen Kexing smiled a cajoling smile. He promptly wrapped up the paper bag containing the walnuts and stashed it away in his robes, before rubbing his hand to get rid of any remaining specks. Then, he sauntered after Zhou Zishu.

The two of them made their way to Luoyang's outskirts. From there, they entered a narrow alley and passed a plot of lush vegetation before arriving on a street.

When he looked up to peer at their surroundings, Wen Kexing felt an uncanny sense of familiarity: bawdy lighting, the scent of perfume mixed with that of liquors... they were in front of a brothel.

His expression turned strange as he pointed at the chanteuse plucking at a zither on the balcony.

"The Scorpions' den — can, can it really be in... a place like this ?"

Zhou Zishu threw him a glance and jeered.

"Come off it. Stop pretending. As if Valley Master Wen truly were a pristine lotus flower that never touched mud." The man was already taking off; Wen Kexing hurried to pull him back.

"But... Hubby..." he said in a small voice. "... Don't you now have someone at home already?"

Zhou Zishu grabbed the guy's chin and eyed him appraisingly. Wen Kexing stared back with eyes full of tenderness. Zhou Zishu shuddered all over.

"Wifey Wen," he said. "You truly make me want to vomit."

With that, he let go of the guy and plunged amidst the throngs of thrill-seeking patrons.

Wen Kexing grumbled under his breath.

"How dare you! Cheating right under my eyes as if I were already dead! Fine, I'll show you what a true she-dragon is!"

Livid with rage, he took a deep breath and opened his mouth to shout. He was yet to let out a sound, however, when he deflated.

Shaking his head, he resigned himself to go after that wayward man of his, all the while muttering self-consolingly: "...Remember the Three Obediences and Four Virtues, the Three Obediences and Four Virtues... Tsk!"10

With daring born out of confidence, Zhou Zishu rose into the air amidst the crowd. The fat, intoxicated dude immediately in front of him felt a breeze blow-by. It sobered him up somewhat and he looked up, but he couldn't distinguish a thing, not even the shadow of a silhouette.

Wen Kexing followed closely, and they both glided onward in light steps, crossing over the tiled rooftops of the brothel's many pavilions without pause. Soon afterward, Zhou Zishu flipped through the air in a beautiful arc and landed in a small backyard.

Wen Kexing scrutinized their surroundings while the clanging of wine cups from fair ladies and fine gents exchanging toasts (and more) sounded in his ears.

If the Scorpions' den is here, he reflected with amusement, they must be a frustrating lot for certain. Zhou Zishu went ahead. He hugged the wall while stopping under each window to listen in intently.

Wen Kexing observed him in wonder, marveling at the fact that anyone could look so dignified whilst eavesdropping.

Surely, a man like that couldn't be hated.

Before long, Zhou Zishu halted outside of a room and made a gesture that meant, "It's this one". Then, he crouched down and stopped moving.

Wen Kexing concentrated on getting an earful and understood the mystery therein: Zhou Zishu wasn't listening to the people's sounds; he was heeding in what manner the beds squeaked.

He too went over, making a point of gluing himself to the other man. That way, the both of them tuned in together to the wall-shaking pillow noises of the woman inside.

Notes

1. The name of the city (Luoyang) means "setting sun". The author plays on this meaning in the poetic insert with the evocation of the cuckoo's song

2. From(Memories of Luoyang)

3. From(From the Watchtower). The "reed pipe" is a traditional instrument: the

sheng

4. Luoyang is called"Eastern Capital" starting from the Western Zhou, up until the Tang Dynasty (the "Western Capital" being nowadays Xi'an). This gives a potential period frame to the story that however conflicts with other elements throughout the story's timeline and is definitively fictional.

5. "officials' road". Similar to the Romans, Chinese people maintained vast networks of roads that could accommodate the transportation of supplies and troops. Those roads were not only state-maintained, but they were also public, which meant that anyone could use them (contrarily to what their name may suggest).

7. Hiding half the face behind one's sleeve is a coy gesture more commonly seen on female

characters in opera to indicate humility/timidity/embarrassment.

8. Humorous colloq. phrase. Lit. "can't go up the reception hall, but can go down the kitchen stall".

9. The "Five Poisons" from folk traditions are variably listed as the centipede, the viper, the scorpion, the lizard, and the toad.

The "Four Pests" listed as the rat, the cockroach, the housefly, and the mosquito, is a more modern concept that originate in pamphlets aimed at promoting sanitation and agricultural output during The Great Leap Forward.

10. According to good ol' Confucius (yep you've guessed it, I don't particularly like that guy), a woman was to: obey her father before marriage, obey her husband after marriage, and obey her son in widowhood.

Her Four Virtues were: being moral in conduct, being reserved in speech, being pleasant in appearance, and being efficient in needlework.

* Forgot to annotate this: ZZS actually says that he wants" to repudiate one's wife". In ancient China, the husband could unilaterally formalize the dissolution of a union by writing a "repudiation note" for cause (the famous "seven causes" including the woman being unsuccessful at bearing a son, and her "being too talkative"). The wife/concubine had no such privilege.

A misc. note on "husband", "wife", "hubby", and "wifey".

They are many ways to address one's spouse in Chinese.

In his banter/flirting, Zhou Zishu uses the terms("young wife" - which implies that he himself is young) and ("Madame"/"Mrs.") while he calls himself ("(the lady's) husband"). Those are somewhat formal, but common ways of addressing that could still be used today.

On the other hand, Wen Kexing favors the term ("young master (mine)") to which ZZS responds with ("(my) lady"). Those are antiquated and theatrical ways of address (because operas have often retained those styles) which no one would use today besides in joking. They come off as (extra) incongruous/exaggerated/comedic in the text.