Another Monday, Rape and Our Relation

Returning to everyday life.

I was there on the roof of the school during lunchtime with Kunikida.

We couldn't occupy the backyard today for gardening reasons and stuff that sucks in the ass.

It was a big hassle to ask permission to use the roof, as it does not have a safety net after all, so at any moment someone could slip and fall.

Kunikida and I are lying on the floor. We have our eyes closed, resting in silence as we enjoy this brief moment together.

Satou and Hyoudou spent the whole morning bothering me, so I couldn't have a quiet moment talking to Kunikida between classes. It seems I only piqued both of their curiosity by mentioning that I like someone.

Satou probably out of jealousy and Hyoudou for trying to learn more about his friend. Those are the most likely causes within the explanation that comes to mind.

Besides that Shiori is spending time at home now, she is sleeping with Kunikida, by the way.

Opening my eyes a little... I see the blue of the sky.

Crisp and deep. The sky is mostly clear. But the white clouds that fly around remind me of the image of cotton balls.

─Hey, Kunikida.

─Hm?

─I love you.

─Me too.

It is a short exchange.

But it's enough to make me smile a little.

Haha, I wish we would say this with all the sincerity of our feelings, but it may be too complicated if I tell the truth.

Kunikida and I are not the most open people when it comes to our feelings.

Nevertheless.

─No... this time I mean it in all seriousness, I am in love with Kunikida Misaki.

─What? What the hell are you talking about, Amano? I've told you before that it's stupid to fall in love with me.

─Is it really? I doubt that. I like you, Misaki.

─Well. I like you too, Amano Kazuki, but not in the same way that you like me.

─Why? Are you not satisfied with me?

─You already know why... it's hard for me to fall in love...

It's not that she costs him, she doesn't want to open up to me.

Because she is afraid that I will hurt her the way another guy did. If by herself, Kunikida is sensitive, it is several times more when she is about me, someone who understands her perfectly.

I say that she doesn't want to open up sentimentally to me, but she does physically. It is somewhat paradoxical, almost like the cheap philosophy questions they ask at school.

But now that I have confessed...

I am not going to turn back with this first love.

─You know that I will treat you better, always. You are very foolish if you think that what happened in your past is a reason why I am not in love with you, Misaki.

I roll on the floor a bit, so I can get to Misaki's side and hug her.

Tightly, I wrap her around my arms, to make sure she can hear my next words very closely.

─None of that was your fault, Misaki. I understand that... I'm not looking for you to reciprocate these feelings right now, I just want you to be aware that now I see you as a romantic interest.

─Kazuki...

─No matter what happens, Misaki... I will never let go of your hand. I will not abandon you until for sure, my life is over. I love you very much, Misaki. I finally have my feelings aligned for you after a long time.

─Kazuki... Why...? What is your reason for loving me?

Mm.

If she asks me that.

I turn away from Misaki a bit, so I can see her face. There are tears running down her eyes. It is a very adorable expression that I often see when she is feeling sad enough to shed tears.

I gently brushed the hair off her left cheek. Misaki blushes a lot more when my fingers brush against her cheek. That is a truly cute expression.

I could fall in love with her again if this keeps up.

Unfortunately it seems that I am not the type of person who can suppress her feelings once they come to light. That is why now and... as long as my life lasts, I am going to take care of cleaning every tear of it.

Why?

To be honest...

─Hmm, you don't have many good points other than studies and cooking, Misaki.

─Kazuki, take this seriously!

─Good, good! But don't pull my cheek, ooh!

I wanted to joke around a bit, but I guess Misaki is quite concerned about what I have to say.

I take her by the shoulders of her and without any fear, I kiss her. Our lips met and in no time, our tongues began to tangle with each other.

It is a certainty.

After everything we've been through... there's no question.

I really am in love with Misaki.

After finishing the kiss, I respond with a smile.

─I love you because you are you, Misaki. Since high school you've been there for me, never once complaining about your position. As much as you have seen my cool side, you are also the person who has seen my sorry and weak side.

She is unique in my life.

Because...

─Just because it's you... I want you to take some time to consider your answer. It's okay even if you reject me. After all, I think I lost from the moment I fell in love with you.

─Kazuki... When did you fall in love with me?

Then.

Well.

That I do not know exactly.

Until recently I realized that I am in love with you.

I couldn't say exactly when it was... but it was probably from the time that I started to feel more comfortable around Misaki than with anyone else I knew.

─I think it was two years ago, you know? Ah, but it wasn't until recently that I recognized those feelings as love.

I smile a little.

Which makes Misaki look away hesitantly.

Show yourself how embarrassed she is right now.

Mm, I think they are going to ring the bell.

I put a hand on Misaki's head and ruffle it a bit.

─Wait, Kazuki!

Misaki sounds a bit annoyed trying to get my hand off her head, but she can't do it.

After teasing her a bit, I stand up and help her up.

We pick up the trash that we left here for having lunch things from the cafeteria, and we go to our classroom. I do my best to keep up with Misaki, who is still embarrassed by all the things I said to her.

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Even after reaching the classroom, picking up our school supplies, and heading to the home economics room, I was determined to still walk alongside Kunikida.

We go in the last of the entire group of students, taking only our pinkies. Our steps are somewhat slow, trying to keep our distance from others as best we can.

I will be honest.

I feel somewhat embarrassed to do this kind of thing as we walk down the hallways.

It feels like my heart is beating fast enough to jump out of my chest right now.

─By the way, did you hear that a new teacher came to the school? It seems that he will now be in charge of the home economics class.

─Ehh? I hope he is handsome.

─Haha! I'm wondering the same.

We overheard a random conversation on our way, causing our hands to loosen for a moment.

A new teacher?

That's something I had no idea about.

Normally I would hear that kind of information coming from Line's group that I have with Satou's group. Although they may not have heard it either.

It's a bit strange, but I think I can tolerate it.

Anyway, I have to focus only on Kunikida right now, it's very irresponsible of me to think about this kind of thing right now.

I just didn't know at the time.

The kind of person I would go to meet...

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My name is Kunikida Misaki, I am a second year student at [Akutagawa High School] with eighteen years of age.

I am originally from Saitama prefecture, but I moved to Tokyo to study preparatory school the year before. Many changes happened suddenly and somehow... I ended up becoming the younger sister of the boy I like.

"What the fuck?!" ─. I wanted to scream while trying to find an explanation for what was happening.

Nothing made sense.

It was stupid to think that such an unexpected turn of events would happen.

To bring you up to speed, I am what is popularly known as an antisocial. I am aware that many people try to be my friends, but none of that, they just want to try their luck with me.

Not like Amano... I would like everyone in the world to disappear and for only Amano to stay with me.

He is a very good person, he understands me and so far, he has never done something without consulting me first or convincing me to do it knowing that I will like him.

We were still minors when we had our first time... but I really loved doing it.

Amano hugged me tightly while I was crying over my androphobia. He thought that he was not going to get over the trauma etched in my heart until that day came.

"Nothing was your fault... I know I shouldn't suggest this, but if you think there's something I can do, I won't bother to comply... M-Misaki..."

----But Amano Kazuki was there.

He is not a gallant gentleman but he is still very handsome, he is very intelligent, but not the best among all. He had terrible manners, but he corrected them all for me. All the time that we have been together, supporting each other, I have seen many sides of Amano Kazuki.

I have seen him being the coolest boy I know, I have also seen him defending people who are weaker than him, I have also seen how his sense of honesty is enough to lower his head in apology for the things he did another person.

But also.

I have seen him cry, be regrettable, apologize for his failures and clench his fists in regret for his actions, the most fragile side of him I have been able to see up close.

We share exciting and bitter experiences since we have been together.

My rehabilitation within human interactions has only been able to advance thanks to everything Amano has done for me. Lend me his shoulder to cry and I will accompany me in my misery...

It was probably what made me fall in love with him.

"Ka... zu... ki..."

I murmured his name softly, while he was still sobbing.

I knew that at that moment he was putting on the stupidest expression of my entire life. The one time I felt fearful enough to give me nightmares for years passed through my mind.

The tears kept flowing over and over again.

I knew he looked sorry for me, but...

Amano used his hands to wipe my tears, the simple brush of his hands on my cheek made me feel stupid, so I tried to push him away from him.

"D-don't touch me...! I'm a dirty woman! I don't deserve you to have this pity for me!"

Accidentally, I hit him in the face.

Amano, he seemed shocked when I slapped him.

I thought it was okay... that he had asked for it... but it didn't take long for the regret of hitting the only boy who ever wanted to understand me increased my fear.

I thought he would be angry, that he was going to abandon me.

All kinds of insecurities began to haunt the last corner of my head, believing that Amano was going to treat me like trash after doing that.

But contrary to everything that was going through my mind, Amano hugged me again.

Instinctively, I started kicking and punching.

I felt in danger...

"Let go of me! Let me go, Amano...!"

No matter how much or where he hit him, Amano didn't let go of me.

Instead.

He just shook as he hugged me.

He didn't understand it.

What was it that motivated you to continue here, ignoring all the mistreatment that I am giving you?

I didn't stop hitting him, he had bruises after that and he was bleeding a bit in places... but Amano didn't let go of me for the world.

"Let me go... I'll forgive you if you let me go now, Amano..."

My mind was completely tangled.

Until I said those words, which I believed would be the ones that would convince Amano to let me go.

Nevertheless...

"Why would I have to...? I... I can't... leave you alone right now, in your misery, I couldn't do it! I'm scared at the thought of... losing Kunikida, you you matter!"

Hearing Amano Kazuki, with whom I had had many pleasant experiences, a boy with whom I had done the biggest stupid things since high school... tell me the most beautiful words I had ever heard.

He made for the first time in my life... my heart leap with excitement.

That's when I realized, as I was remembering one by one all the things I had done with Amano, it was at that moment that I caught up with my feelings, beginning to see Kazuki as a romantic interest.

I didn't understand it at first.

What's good about it? I even wondered.

Maybe all that was good about it was his honesty... but when I started to think about it, my memories began to flow in a much clearer way.

All the times that he made me laugh, the times that we cried together, also the comical situations in which we were involved. The peak of his genius and the depth of his person. There is not a single expression of Amano that I do not know, as he opened up to me.

He didn't leave any of his emotions out... he showed me everything about his person.

Then my chest started to hurt.

But not from misery.

Neither of regret.

But...

"Amano... Would you... listen to... the most selfish request... that I could ever ask of you...?"

I was confused.

But I wanted to be confused.

"Of course... by Kunikida, I will make the impossible become a reality"

I was scared.

But for the first time this didn't feel bad.

"So... there is something I want you to say..."

I stepped on...

I hit the gas pedal all the way on a car with no brakes.

My heart was beating like crazy.

But I wanted to hear him saying.

"You can ask me what you want, I will"

Even if I was a tainted woman.

Even if I had no purity to give.

Even if there was a wound in my heart that was not going to be easily healed.

Me...

"... tell me... you... love..."

"Sorry?"

I was too embarrassed.

For the first time I felt like this.

In the past I found myself indifferent to doing things like hugging myself or holding hands with Amano Kazuki as he taught me that I could trust him.

Those feelings took root in my heart...

Love... dependency... whatever.

I wanted to hold on with all my might to that feeling.

For this reason, I gathered a value that I did not think I had.

"For the whole night... act like you love me! Whisper words of love in my ear, give me your warmth, I want to feel all of you, Kazuki! Even though...! It's just a one-night stand... I want you to hug me tighter, nail your nails into my back... whatever it takes to feel close to me... I don't want to be alone, not today, Kazuki..."

Because I didn't know what I was going to do if I was left alone carrying all that misery.

At the age of eleven - I was raped.

He had never told anyone about it, ever.

Just Kazuki. Because he is my understanding.

The fact haunted me for years. The heaviness in my heart couldn't go away.

And when I thought everything was going to go to hell... I met Amano Kazuki. His unemotional expression was intriguing to me at first glance, he didn't speak to anyone and he was quite popular with the high school girls.

In the fall of our freshman year of high school, I didn't think I would go to meet Amano Kazuki's true personality.

He hit the wall with his head, laden with frustration.

Seeing him as he repeated that movement over and over again, cursing himself gave me to understand.

He is just like me.

I found it interesting, so, although with a little fear, I made the first contact with him and since then, we have been inseparable.

We share our sorrows, we lick our wounds and we console the other in his misery.

That same boy who had been hitting his head... in the last difficult moment I had emotionally, he asked me:

"... hey Kunikida... are you sure?"

Amano I have never done anything against my will.

He has never laid a hand on me without believing that the time is right to do so.

Well... maybe now we are too promiscuous, but I think it is due to the increase in our confidence since then.

To answer him, I nodded.

"I love you, Misaki"

Watching me with intensity, Amano made my heart skip once more. So even though he seemed to be hesitating a bit, he and I shared a first kiss.

This is how our carnal relationship began.

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Today, several years after that...

"No... this time I mean it in all seriousness, I'm in love with you Kunikida Misaki"

It hasn't been long since Kazuki... said those words to me. It's only been about eight minutes.

And that where he takes me, that I am completely in love with the boy?

Simple... to take us by the pinkies with great discretion. We can't do something like hold hands in public, definitely not. That would just screw up all the work we've done to hide our relationship.

Well... he has given me the space to think about it.

Kazuki has always cared about me in that way. So it doesn't surprise me that he gave me an indeterminate period of time to think of an answer.

Mm, although my answer is already decided.

I wanted to accept it right away, but I didn't want to be desperate for it.

I'm pretty sensitive when it comes to Kazuki, seriously.

Also... I'd like to discuss it with my mom first before I actually decide something.

Now we are brother and sister, even if it is by legal means, we are brothers without a doubt. I can't risk doing something too dangerous.

I am willing to continue our relationship as it is right now. I just have too many things to think about beforehand.

Well... maybe I'm just too excited that the guy I like has confessed his feelings to me after many romantic experiences we've been through. Since that night Kazuki claimed me as his wife, the words "I love you" hadn't had as much of an effect on me.

Because.

I cling to Kazuki's hand, like he never had.

----At the time of going through the door.

...

...

...

...

...

...

All the happiness he had experienced so far. With all the years that have passed since then, I thought I was finally over it.

Because... Kazuki was with me...

I felt that any feeling of heaviness directed towards the human race itself had been extinguished from me.

─Misaki...?

I hear Kazuki calling my name.

But I am frozen. My feet don't move.

An indescribable feeling of disgust began to mix all the contents of my stomach, I feel dizzy, as if I was going to pass out right now.

Tears began to form in my eyes...

"Easy, Misa-chan... a beautiful girl like you is loved even by grown-ups like me... soon you will feel good..."

The trauma etched deep into my heart, which I thought had been erased by Kazuki quite some time ago.

It emerges like a torrent of cold fear that runs through each of my senses, down to the last fiber of me...

─Hmm? Misa-chan...? Time without knowing anything about you! Are you and your mother still okay?!

─Hey, Sensei...? Do you and Misaki know each other?

─Haha, that's right! Misa-chan lived next door to my apartment in Saitama while she was still a college student, she and I are good friends.

─Friends...?

I am not very capable of listening to the conversation that those two have... I lost myself at an indeterminate moment.

I take one... two steps back...

I turn around and letting go of the hand of the one who swore never to abandon me, I start running using all my strength.

─Misaki!

I do not care...

I just want to escape.

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I see Kunikida running away.

Tears were streaming from his eyes... and I can still feel the warmth of his hand taking mine.

I'll let him take time to calm down...

Secondly.

─Sensei, what is your name?

─My name? Ah, I guess we don't know each other. My name is Kudou Hikari, it's nice to meet you, Amano-kun.

!

Right there, I resisted the urge to hit a teacher for the first time in my life.

Kudou Hikari?

What if I know him?

Of course, I know who he is perfectly.

But more important...

─How do you know my name?

I have to be approachable and conversational right now. If I show the slightest hint of knowing who he really is, then I will have no choice but to take care of the subject with my own hands.

Kunikida has had a lot of trouble telling me about his trauma. But at least she's been able to give me the name of the guy who sexually assaulted her.

It would be too much of a coincidence if there is another person by the name of "Kudou Hikari" who knows Kunikida.

I had waited a long time to meet this guy, after all, I thoroughly investigated the influence of [The Brotherhood] on her past.

He is a twisted man... who had convinced me that he would not go to face unless everything got much more complicated.

I am trying very hard to maintain my murderous intentions towards this guy. I want to beat him until he cries and asks me for forgiveness, making him feel the same as Kunikida felt when he was at his mercy.

But he is smart.

He's been able to evade the law thus far... but if I move a few pieces, I could catch him red-handed if he wanted to.

I just wouldn't know the influence that my making such a move would have on Kunikida.

So. I'm going to stay out of it for now.

─All the teachers talk about you, you are the number one student of this institution full of geniuses, it would be strange not to hear your name there or there.

─I see... Hikari-sensei. I have a very personal request that I want to make to you right now, may I?

─Go ahead, everything that helps my students is fine! I want to get along with you since you seem quite close to Misa-chan, Amano-kun.

His words make me sick.

He thinks he's talking to an idiot who knows absolutely nothing and that it's just going to be easy to get out of his way now that he can have Kunikida in the palm of his hand again.

But that idiot.

It's unfortunate to tell the truth.

You are cunning, Kudou Hikari-sensei.

But when you were just starting the race, I've already been a full lap ahead of you.

I change my countenance for a brief moment, to give a brief demonstration of my intentions to kill him right now, then I take Hikari-sensei by the shoulder and tell her in a volume where only he can hear me.

─I know who you are and I know what you think now. "I can have Misa-chan to myself again if I blackmail her saying that I will tell this idiot everything we did", that's just what you think.

Hearing my voice close to my ear, Sensei's expression finally changed.

I could feel his body stiffen, a sign of the fear he's feeling right now.

─While you hardly know my name, I know everything about you. I know who to hurt to make you take a wrong step and eventually fall off the board. You are disposable, Sensei... someone else will take your place once I paint a whole wall with your blood and decorate it with your intestines.

I do all this to intimidate him.

My intentions to kill right now... maybe I should rather call her, [Bloodlust].

Right now, my [Bloodlust] is coming out like an erupting volcano, ready to wipe out everything in its path.

If there is one thing that I have learned in [The Brotherhood], then I will say that threat is one of the two main actions that mobilize people. That is why while smiling, I let Sensei see a bit of the Van Helsing nature that I have ingrained for many years.

─If I realize that you laid a hand on Kunikida, or if you just tried, I swear to you that you will be alive while the dogs tear apart your cooked meat set to burn in a bonfire and I will not let you die until the last fragment of your mind is broken.

I let go of Sensei, seeing his expression...

His pupils are dilated and his teeth chatter in fear. I'd say right now he's shitting his pants because of my presence.

As fear of him trickles down her forehead and cheeks... a brief image flashes before my eyes.

Another thing about being a blood member of the Van Helsing family is the ability our common ancestor developed to identify [Beasts].

It is basically possible only to a group of additional [Magic Threads] located in the area of ​​the retina that are activated all the time, greatly improving the vision of the individual and allowing in turn, to look through the facade of the [Beasts].

My threatening smile increases much more...

─You're... you're a... Van Helsing!

Ah fuck. Fear of him has doubled.

I looked at the true appearance of him.

He is a type of humanoid devil underneath his skin... his horns have blue terminations, so it is certain that he is an [Incubus].

One who has little control of his lust, too.

─That makes things easier... it seems the reasons for killing you just keep increasing. But for today, I will leave you alive, not without before...

My [Einhenjar] isn't that surprising to tell the truth, as long as it's a functional weapon, no problem.

I usually wear it underneath my uniform, as I have been forced to wear it when I don't even have a chance to change into [Hunter's Clothes], but I can always change his [Tangibility] status.

I take Sensei's arm to bring him towards me and move my right wrist a little to trigger the weapon. Then, I nail the [Hidden Blade] of my [Einhenjar] into his stomach.

─Gah...!

Normal that it hurts.

But I don't have many worries, since like I said, my [Einhenjar] is not too impressive, I can only change hers [Tangibility] from hers, which is what makes her a physical body actually.

So, by unfolding the [Hidden Blade] of my [Einhenjar], what I did was turn the blade into a physical body once it was inside Sensei's body.

Doing the same, but in reverse, I take out the blade that did not create a hole in his clothes.

─Good looking after your wounds, in three hours a poison of magical destruction will take effect and it may kill you, if you have a high magical defense, you may survive.

I pick up the class utensils that Kunikida left behind and starting to run, I am destined to follow in her footsteps leaving Sensei squirming from the pain that her perforated liver must be causing him.

But first, I have to go buy some water.