Baby Steps

The next day, I was eating a late lunch with my party member. "So, how do you learn skills again?" I asked Megumin who's having her fine meal after days of poverty. Beside her, Aqua is already calling the waitress for some more.

Megumin peeked at me card. "Oh, Kazuma is an Adventurer. Well, you have no basic spells to speak of, so you need someone to teach you," she explained. "'Skills that could be learned' will show up, and you could learn the skills by putting in the required skill points."

Huh, so I need someone to teach me huh? Hmm, I need to make sure I don't use it on something useless… What kind of skill would be most useful huh?

Hmm, I shouldn't waste my time learning a skill from either Megumin or Aqua. If they can use it, there's really no use for me to use it too. Especially since they're already specialized for those skills, me learning that skills will only be a waste of skill point.

"Hey, you are the party Darkness wanted to join right? You want to learn something useful? How about thieving skills?"

I turned my head and saw two women occupying the neighboring table. The one talking to me was a woman wearing light leather armor. She had a small scar on her face and seemed to be street smart. She was a pretty girl with silver locks and a bright personality.

Standing beside her is the beauty in full plate armor. Yes, that one, the girl that scared the bejeezus out of me.

"Erm, what do you mean by thieving skills? How are they like?"

The girl that looked like a thief smiled cheerfully.

"Good question. Thieving skills are very practical– such as 'Disarm Traps', 'Sense Enemy', 'Hide', 'Steal', they are all skills that are worth learning. Your job is the basic tier adventurers right? Thieving skills don't require much points, so it's a great deal! How about it? I can teach them to you if you treat me to a glass of crimson beer!"

So cheap!

That's how I felt, but when I thought about it, she had nothing to lose from teaching me the skills. And I could just ask any other thief if I really want to learn thieving skills.

"Okay, I leave it in your hands! Excuse me– Please get a glass of ice cold crimson beer for this lady!"

---

"I will do a short introduction. I am Chris. As you can see, I am a thief. And this person with a moody face is Darkness. You met yesterday right? She is a crusader and shouldn't have any skills that are useful to you."

"Hello! I am Kazuma, nice to meet you, Chris!"

We're standing on the open plaza behind the adventurers guild. Chris, Darkness and I stood at this desolate open space.

I can almost hear the whistle of a cowboy and could imagine a quick draw. Ahh, sweet memories…

"Well then, we will start from 'Sense Enemy' and 'Hide'. We will work on 'Disarm Trap' next time, traps are rare in such a crowded place. Hey… Darkness, could you turn and face that side?"

"…Hmmm? …. Okay."

Darkness turned and face away as instructed.

And so, Chris got into a wooden barrel some distance away and showed only the top half of her body.

I don't know what she was playing at, but she then threw a rock at Darkness's head and hid into the barrel.

"…"

Could this be the hide skill?

Darkness who was hit by the rock moved silently towards the only barrel in the area.

"Sensing enemy… sensing enemy… I can strongly feel that Darkness is angry! Nah, Darkness? You should know I only did that to teach him the skills, I couldn't help it! Please have mercy ahhhhhh, stop ahhhhhhhh!"

The barrel she was hidden in was toppled over and Chris screamed as it rolled on the ground.

I'm at loss, this looks so pathetic. Can I really learn skills this way?

After a moment, Chris regained her composure and walked towards me. "Alright, let's try the skill I recommend the most, 'Steal'. This was a skill that can snatch away one item possessed by the target, it could be anything. Be it the weapon gripped tightly in their hands, or the wallet secured deep in their pockets, it can steal one item possessed by the target. The probability of success is dependent on the luck stat. You could rob the weapon or treasure of a strong enemy and run, a great skill to have under any circumstances."

Now that's interesting. I do have an astronomically high luck stat! This skill's perfect!

"I will demonstrate with you as the target! Ready, 'Steal'!"

Chris shouted as she reached her hand forward, and a small item appeared in her hand.

That is…

"Ah! That's my wallet!"

It contained all of my cash, a thin and pitiful wallet.

"Oh! Jackpot! It's used this way. Well of course, I will return it but…" Chris smirked and pocketed my wallet. "How about we make this interesting? You learn 'Steal' and steal this back from me. You can even steal anything else, be it my own wallet or my weapon, that's gotta worth more than this right?"

Spoken like a true criminal. Well, not really, but she is clever. Maybe I should try, see how my luck fare against professional thief.

I looked at my adventurer card and saw a new box that displayed skills that could be learned. I touch it with my finger and 4 skills were displayed. 'Sense Enemy' 1 point, 'Hide' 1 point, 'Steal' 1 point', 'Beauties of Nature' 5 points.

… 'Beauties of nature'? The skill used by Aqua, the party trick of flicking a seed into a cup?

The party trick had such a flashy name! Eh? And it took a lot of points!

Party tricks were cool in some way, but I decided to learn 'steal', 'sense enemy' and 'hide'. Maybe I should try learning magic next?

"I have learned the skill. And I accept your challenge! Don't come crying to me no matter what I steal!"

I stuck out my right hand as I spoke, but Chris just smiled fearlessly.

"That's great! I like people who aren't spoilsport! Alright then, what could you steal? The special prize would be my wallet. The grand prize would be this magically enchanted dagger! This is a great item worth 400,000 Eris! The consolation prize would be this piece of rock I threw at Darkness!"

"Ahhh! That's cheating! Using such a method!"

I protest loudly when I saw the rock Chris took out. I was wondering why she was so confident, so that's the reason! If she had more trash items, the probability of important items getting stolen would be lower, a sort of safeguard against thieves.

"This is my teaching fee. As you can see, no skills are all powerful. You learned something great right? Alright, give it a go!"

Tch, don't look down on me Chris. I have the power of luck and wisdom on my side!

"Alright, watch this! My luck had always been good! 'Steal'!"

As I shouted, my outreached right hand grabbed something. She said the chance of success was dependent on the luck stat. To succeed in one try, my luck wasn't too bad.

It's soft, like fabric… So it's not the grand prize nor the consolation prize. I slowly opened my palm and raised it to the sky for a better look.

"This is… JACKPOT!!! It's the grand prize, and it's a big one—!"

It's a panties! HAHA! The lifeline of every female EVER! I GOT IT! HAHAHA!!!!

"No–! Return my panties to me–!"

Chris pulled down her skirt as she screamed with tears in her eyes.

---

After learning the skills, I returned to the bar and found it to be lively.

"Aqua-sama, one more time! I am willing to pay for it, could you perform 'Beauties of Nature' once more?"

"Fool, Aqua-san prefers food instead of money! Right, Aqua san! I will treat you to a meal, so please do 'Beauties of Nature' again!"

For some reason, there was a crowd around Aqua who looked troubled.

"Talent shows are not things that could be performed several times on request! A great man once said a funny joke could only be told once. Doing the same tricks several times because it is popular means you are a 3rd rate performer! I am not a performer, so I won't accept money for my performance! This should be the basic attitude of talent show artisan. And I didn't perform 'Beauties of Nature' for you to see– ah! Kazuma you are finally back, who is this person?"

Aqua pushed through the crowd with an annoyed face and was curious about the sulky Chris standing beside me.

I was about to explain it to her when Darkness beat me to it.

"Chris taught Kazuma the thief skill and her panties was removed by Kazuma as a result," the woman explained.

Aqua and Megumin looked at me with a blank look on their face.

"Wait! Hold up!"

Chris then started her own story. "H-he stripped me off my panties in public and… -sob- when I asked him to return it to me, he refused. So I told him I'd pay for it," she wiped some fake tears off her face. "Bu-but then, he told me to name how much my panties worth… And if I don't pay for it, he will put it into auction and…"

The gazes of all female adventures started piercing towards me. Even my reputation with Aqua and Megumin seems to plummet. I realized that I should diffuse the situation before I get murdered in my sleep.

Uhh, what do I do? What do I do? All I have is luck, wisdom, and… lies! Trickery! Right, Paradox is the goddess of wisdom and trickery!

"Oi, if you're an actual thief, you could just Steal back the panties right? But you didn't even try! Or could it be that you don't mind having your panties stolen, Chris san?" I smirked a little when some of the glances started piercing towards Chris. "Does it feel more comfortable with no panties on I suppose?"

It was then that I realized that the glances from the female adventurer didn't disappear. Instead, the male adventurers started backing me up. So I'm guessing we're both gonna get branded as a pervert right now.

After a moment, Chris pouted a little and puffed her cheeks. "Well played Kazuma," she then turned to Darkness and smiled.

"Well, Darkness I'm gonna go on a dungeon quest now, seeing that Kazuma has stolen all my money," she said before walking away. "See you later Kazuma!"

"Later!"

That end up well…

"Erm, aren't you going with her, Darkness?"

Darkness sat down at my table so naturally that I had to ask.

"… Yeah. People with the same vanguard class as me could be found anywhere. Although thieves are essential for dungeon exploration, it wasn't too popular with others. There are many teams that want to recruit Chris."

I see, Aqua said that Arch Priests were rare and wanted by every party, so the treatment each job received are different.

A short while later, Chris probably found a group and left the guild with a few adventurers.

Chris waved at us before heading off.

"It's already evening, Chris and her party are going to explore the dungeons now?"

Megumin answered my question. "The best time to go dungeon diving is early in the morning. So most people would set off one day earlier like them, and make camp before the dungeon until morning. There are even merchants operating with these adventurers as their target market. How was it? Did you learn any skills?"

I smirked confidently. "Of course! Take this ste-" I paused mid spell and took a step back. If my 100% luck means anything, that means I will probably steal Megumin's panties. Being caught stripping girls in public is the last thing I need right now.

Wait! Aqua doesn't wear panties right!? Yeah! So it should be safe to steal from her. I do wonder what's her most precious thing right now is…

"STEAL!" I exclaimed towards Aqua.

Soon enough, I felt some sort of fabric on my hand. At first, I thought I messed up and got her panties, but it's actually her hagoromo. So I guess it's pretty important for her huh?

"Huh, not bad," Megumin said. "So you can strip opponents of their equipment then?"

"Ah, give me back my hagoromo!" Aqua exclaimed.

I handed the hagoromo back to her before looking at Megumin. "Kind of, it's usually the most important thing for the opponent," I told her.

A clattering sound appeared behind us. That was Darkness who accidentally knocked the chair away when she stood up. "Please let me join Fantastic Dreamer!" she exclaimed towards Aqua and Megumin.

Aah… I guess it's unavoidable huh?

Aqua and Megumin looked at each other before shrugging a little. "And you are?"

"I am Darkness, a Crusader," she handed them he adventurer's card. "Pleased to meet you,"

With that, we made ourselves comfortable. Aqua and I sat beside each other, facing Darkness and Megumin. The former is staring at me with a dangerous look on her face while the latter is inspecting an adventurer's card.

"I mean, she's a crusader, there's no reason not to have her around right?" Aqua pointed out.

"She has zero percent accuracy, struggling to even hit a stationary target,"

"You can leave the hitting to me Kazuma!" Megumin exclaimed. "And uh, you're not bad yourself at hitting opponent," she added a little more softly.

I looked at Darkness and folded my arms in front of my chest.

"That girl is a hardcore masochist, a disgusting pervert who took pain as pleasure," I said.

Aqua and Megumin froze a little before looking at Darkness. The knight moaned a little and started blushing furiously. "T-to think you'd call me a disgusting pervert in front of this many people," she started panting furiously. "I-I…"

"W-well…" Aqua gulped a little. "I mean, if she enjoy getting hit, that's better right? We won't have to worry about having her as shield," she hastily took her adventurer's card from Megumin's hand. "And look! Her defense rating is off the charts!"

Megumin nodded in agreement. "Yes, yes, even if she's a disgusting pervert, she can still be of use as a monster bait, I mean, as decoy for me to use my explosion spell. I'd say we let her in."

Well, they got some good points, who am I to argue against a sound and logical answer? "Alright, you passed the interview, now we can…"

"Emergency quest! Emergency quest! All adventurers in town, please gather at the adventurers guild! I repeat, emergency quest! Emergency quest! All adventurers in town, please gather at the adventurers guild!" a loud broadcast came out of nowhere.

Both Darkness and Megumin looked a bit excited for some reason so I'm assuming it's not a bad thing. "… Erm, it's probably harvesting cabbages. It's the season for them."

…

"Huh? Cabbage? Is that the name of some monster?"

After expressing my thoughts, Megumin and Darkness looked at me pitifully for unknown reasons.

"Cabbage is something round, green and edible," Darkness said

"It is crunchy and refreshing, a delicious vegetable," Megumin added.

"I know that! Then what is happening? The guild said there is an emergency quest, so the farmers need help from the adventurers? Did the cabbage flew away or something?"

"Well of course," the two of them replied at the same time. "It's cabbages after all."

Ah… I see, so cabbages in this world fled during harvest season. On hindsight, I should've seen that one coming since some of the vegetables here can move around. "So, what makes them so dangerous? Do they attack you?"

We quickly left the guild house and ran through the streets. All around us, the civilians has already fled into their houses. The windows and doors were barred shut, as if we're about to have a demon invasion or something.

As we ran through the streets Darkness answered my question. "Some of them do, they'll ram at you at high speeds. O-of course, for someone like me, I can take on as many hits as you want while you…"

"Yeah, got it, do you have any skill to lure the enemy towards you?"

Darkness swiftly took out her adventurer card, pressed something on it, before hastily putting it away. "Yeah, I have learned the bait skill," she said.

I turned towards Aqua and Megumin. "Aqua, I need you to cast your strongest defensive buff on Darkness. Megumin, I don't think blowing the cabbage without a trace will be very profitable, so you'll have to stay put for now."

Aqua pumped her fist victoriously while Megumin groaned in disappointment.

Soon enough, we made it to the city gate. A green cloud could be seen rolling in the distance. Darkness already made it in front and she has already activated her decoy. Behind me, Aqua already cast some defensive buff on Darkness.

"A storm, is coming," Megumin muttered ominously as the first cabbage gets shot down by the nearest archer.