40

Chapter 40: nothing lasts foreverNotes:

1) I. Am. So. Sorry.

I didn't think I'd stay away from this for so long. I hit a massive writers block for the funeral scene and didn't know what to do, then I fixated on Persona 5 for a while and life became very messy. My mental health dipped and yeah...

2) We finally address Steve Roger's death. We start kicking up the plot a bit more.

It's unlikely there'll be an updated until the end of this month since I have exams but I hope my writers block has left for a bit.

3) I hope you enjoy the chapter and leave a kudos and comment!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Everyone wore black.

There was nothing surprising about that. He had gone to far too many funerals in his lifetime and he became accustomed on how to behave. Truthfully, it came down to displaying a certain amount of his honest emotions. Nod sombrely in acknowledgement of the people who had come, offer or receive condolences, remember all he could about the person who had passed away.

Most importantly, grieve.

Some people described funerals as a celebration of life. He couldn't fully come to terms with that description. His parents' funeral had been filled with too many people sending him pitying looks and meaningless condolences. He hadn't known most of the people there, let alone their relation to his parents. Were they distant family members? Were they friends? Were they co-workers?

Uncle Ben's funeral had met with soul-sucking guilt and flashes of fury. Many of his uncle's co-workers had been his friends and quite a few had visited their apartment. He hadn't processed as much back then, consumed by his lack of reaction in his situation and anger at the gunman. He couldn't remember much outside of kneeling in front of the freshly dug grave after everyone had left and quietly crying as he begged for forgiveness.

Tony's funeral had been painful as he stopped tears from streaming down his face. Watching his coffin being sent onto the lake as he stood on the dock had felt like part of him had been torn away and taken forever. Numerous months had been spent trying to get back onto his feet while guilt stared at him like a gaping chasm, ready to swallow him whole and trap him for eternity. At least, it had felt like that. Happy's words on the plane had helped significantly.

May had died in his arms. It had been his fault she ended up in the situation she did, his naivety becoming his biggest fault at that moment in time. All May had wanted to do was help. That was all she ever did, and he would never stop being grateful for her. Her dying in his arms had felt like his world ending. For a few hours, he had known what it felt like to be the last of the Parker line.

He never wanted to experience that again.

Steve's funeral happened before Captain America's funeral. The general public would likely stay in his final burial place for months to give tributes and offer what they felt they needed to.

They had all gathered a few blocks away from cemetery an hour before the funeral so everyone who knew Steve personally could say their goodbyes. His coffin had been moved to the chapel of rest without the public knowing, but he was aware there would be media around the area soon. He had decided to wear his Spider-Man suit underneath his formal clothes just in case something happened, but he had kept his mask on anyway. Some of the Avengers didn't know his civilian identity and it was probably safer that way.

He wasn't sure why he was included on the list of people who could say goodbye before the funeral. He had fought against and with Steve, but he knew barely anything about his personal life. Maybe it was because of their acknowledgements of each other on the battlefield, or maybe it was someone had managed to get him on the list, but he was in Washington with the rest of the Avengers anyway.

Based on the murmurs he had heard from Wanda and Clint, it seemed the government had demanded that Steve would been laid to rest at Arlington National Cemetery in Washington since it was a well-known resting place for soldiers. He had originally thought Steve would be buried in Brooklyn since he was born there, but none of them could argue with the government about this.

Sam and Natasha had gone first, quietly murmuring what they felt they needed to say to Steve. Bucky had said he wanted to go last and no one dared to say otherwise, not when they all knew how close he was to Steve.

The breeze ruffled his hair as he stood a few metres away from the coffin, watching as Tony said what he felt he needed to Steve. Listening to his words felt too intrusive, too personal, for him to want to use his super senses to eavesdrop.

He focused on the rustling leaves, the crunching of gravel under shoes and murmurs of others. How brave Steve was throughout his life, how he sacrificed everything more often than not, how he was worthy enough to wield Mjolnir during the final battle. How he had led therapy groups after the Snap, how he lived a fulfilling life.

Tony strolled away from the coffin as he put the EDITH glasses on, patting Peter on the shoulder.

Your turn.

Breathing in deeply, he walked towards the coffin, pressing his lips together when he saw Steve's corpse. He wore a navy suit and a crimson tie - acknowledgements to his role as Captain America.

The hand he had used to snap the Infinity Gauntlet had been wrapped in bandages, the charred skin Peter had seen on the battlefield hidden away from sight. The part of his face that had been burned had been left untouched by whoever prepared his body for the funeral.

A weight formed in his chest. He didn't know what he had been thinking in the final battle -it had all become a haze- but he hadn't expected Steve to die. He had thought that he would sacrifice himself, maybe he would have to stop Tony from sacrificing himself, maybe Captain Marvel would take the stones- he didn't know!

Sam became Captain America in the old timeline. It had been a few months before Beck had revealed his identity, but he had watched the broadcast where Sam addressed the nation in his new Falcon suit with Captain America's shield by his side.

He didn't know the details of what Steve did when he went to return the stones, only that he had returned as an old man and given Sam the shield. Everyone had known it was time for the new generation of heroes to make their mark – the time of the Avengers had ended. Iron Man and Black Widow were dead, Steve had retired and a new Captain America had been born, Hulk had become Smart Hulk during the Blip -Snap, whatever it was, he preferred the latter- Hawkeye had retired and Wanda was grieving.

The previous timeline's Steve had retired and this one had died…

Arguably it was his fault, but he figured MJ and Ned would talk some sense into him if he said that in front of that. He had taken the Infinity Stones with the conviction of a man who knew what his sacrifice would mean. He wouldn't have backed down if Peter asked him to and took the burden without question.

"Cap…I don't even know what I should address you as," he muttered, "so I'll stick with that. I felt honoured when I met you at the airport back in 2016. Had I known what you were fighting for, about the Sokovia Records and all that, I would have joined your side. I was a naïve kid, so maybe I would've gotten to know you better if I had paid attention to what I was doing. You were one of my heroes growing up, so I can only take what I know from that."

Idolising the Avengers had been a significant part of his childhood, but had he known what he knew now, maybe he would have re-evaluated his childish thoughts. He would have humanised them, not seen them as faultless, but as flawed humans who made mistakes but didn't deserve the public backlash that they did.

"The Sokovia Records made everything one-sided, so I'll say what I know. You were selfless in the public eye and always stood for justice. I've…I've always admired that. In school we read about your history as a soldier, so I guess patriotism also counts as something?" He sighed. "Okay, I think we both know I'm not sure what to say. I wasn't that close to you and I don't know what to grieve. I still feel guilty for what happened on the battlefield, but I'm not sure if I should be feeling that. I think you'd tell me you wouldn't have backed down if I asked you to. No one takes the burden of the Infinity Stones with doubts in their mind. I reckon you were one of the three chances Stephen saw."

He could guess who the other two chances were. Tony definitely had be one, but he guessed he was one of the chances alongside one of the other Avengers. He needed to check with Stephen to be sure.

"Thank you for everything you've done."

Standing in Arlington National Cemetery, he watched as the procession took place. He, Tony, Pepper and Morgan had sat in the car as Happy drove them behind the car Sam, Bucky and Natasha were in, which was behind the hearse.

Various news agencies had followed after all the cars with the Avengers in them, news reporters and cameras in tow. Their set up happened rapidly, slipping into place with subdued mania. The coverage would be shown globally; making a mistake would be a catastrophe for their respective agencies.

He sat on the left side of the first row of the benches alongside Pepper, Morgan and Happy. Natasha and Bucky sat somewhere in the middle and he could see Wanda on the right side. He didn't know who else would be there; he hadn't had a chance to look. He suspected quite a few Asgardians and some people from Wakanda would be there. Maybe Shuri, T'Challa and Okoye would be on the next bench with Valkyrie and Thor. Maybe Stephen would be somewhere further back with Wong?

Watching as the pallbearers -Tony, Clint, Natasha, Bucky, Sam and a lady called Sharon Carter- brought the coffin into the amphitheatre and placed it onto the stand on the stage, he tried to filter out the clicks and flashes of the cameras behind him. Many important people from the government were on the bench to his side and he had a feeling Nick Fury and Maria Hill would be somewhere nearby.

There were two eulogy's. One was made by the president which talked about all of Captain America's services to the country and how he would be dearly missed. He mentioned how the Sokovia Records were a controversial political act in which Captain America stood his ground for and didn't stray from his beliefs due to public pressure.

"An admirable quality which few people have. His strength, courage and sense of justice will be dearly missed by every man, woman and child across the states. From both myself and the people across America, he will be missed. His sacrifices for humanity will be remembered across the globe." He bowed his head for a few seconds before taking a steadying breath and finishing his speech. "And now, a member of the United States of America Air Force who knew Captain America well: Sam Wilson." He nodded towards Sam before walking to his seat.

All the cameras remained on Sam, flashes lighting up his face as he stood in front of the podium. His pristine suit and set facial expression made it seem like he was giving a press conference, but he remained composed as he started his speech.

"Steve Rogers was a determined man who could never be swayed by anything or anyone who didn't share his ideals. He embodied the strength of America, representing the full form of freedom and justice that it has to offer. Most importantly, he was a leader. A person who could unite a battlefront with a few words." Sam breathed in deeply before continuing. "He excelled at a job few could do: lead a group of people with contrasting personalities and differing skill sets."

'He's highlighting Steve's legacy,' he thought. He doubted there were certain things Sam could say when this was being broadcasted to the world like how Steve illegally signed up to become a solider, but that was already historical knowledge.

"During the second world war when the Nazis threatened our values, he established the belief of fighting against those who wished to conquer the freedom and justice America represented. This principle carried over decades into 2012 and beyond. When commanding thousands of soldiers on a battlefield to fight Thanos, he led us to the most crucial victory Earth had to win. This incredible strength of his has saved many of us in innumerable ways, many of which I'm sure you remember."

He weakly smiled as he remembered how Steve realised he was in trouble and threw Mjolnir across the battlefield to save him.

"I fought alongside him as Falcon, supporting him where it was possible. He returned the sentiment wherever possible. Both as a soldier and a man, he was unwaveringly dependable and noble. I, and many others, could not have asked for a better person to enter our lives."

The funeral didn't last for much longer after the eulogies. They drove to the burial ground a few minutes away before he and the rest of the Avengers watched Steve Rogers be buried six feet underground.

"Steve Rogers, otherwise known as Captain America, has been left in his final resting place at 12:30 PM on October 9th. He is globally mourned, but his legacy will be remembered for centuries to come."

The flight back to New York didn't take too long. Tony had flown a lot of people into Washington DC for Steve's funeral and had arranged all the flights back – well, he hadn't organised them, FRIDAY or someone else would have.

He, May, Tony, Pepper, Morgan and Happy had boarded the same private jet they had used to get to Wakanda. May, Pepper and Happy quietly talked about plans for later whilst Tony occasionally contributed, mainly focused on entertaining Morgan.

He sat next to May as he texted MJ and Ned about their arrangements for tomorrow, saying they could come to his since May would be working.

"Underoos, you haven't met Morgan yet, have you?" Tony asked, gently ruffling Morgan's hair as she leaned on his side. She had been fairly talkative for the first half an hour of the flight before she tired herself and decided to take a nap.

"Uh, no, not yet," he replied.

Technically, if he counted time travel, he had. Several visits to the lake house had meant they became close, especially after he introduced her to Frozen and a few other Star Wars movies once Pepper deemed Morgan old enough to watch them.

"Normally she's much perkier than this, but we did have to wake her up at 5," Pepper explained. "Why don't you come to ours soon? Morgan was very excited to meet you and I have a feeling you'll get along."

"Oh, that'd be wonderful," May replied cheerfully. "I know I'll have a day off in the next few weeks!"

"I'd be up for it," he replied, smiling at the thought of being able to reconnect with everyone. He still needed to explain a few things like time travel to Tony…but he wanted to hear what happened over the past few years. He wanted to return to the somewhat normal life he had created for himself before Beck destroyed it all.

Speaking of Beck…what would he do now that Tony was alive? Yes, he had retired and there was a demand for a new hero to take his place, but how would Beck get the EDITH glasses – did he still need them for his plans?

Mysterio was a hero that took the place of the Avengers, of Iron Man, but how would he now that half the heroes that had died were all alive? Tony and Natasha were alive and he didn't know if Natasha would retire. Vision…

He had died in Natasha's place. He hadn't gotten the chance to talk to Wanda during the funeral, but he also knew she would likely stay in touch with some of the Avengers. Well, hopefully she would. He couldn't be sure without knowing what else had changed over the past five years. He had to assume Vision had sacrificed himself for the Soul Stone since he hadn't been in the final battle…

Wait.

Speaking of people who hadn't been in the final battle - where had Loki gone?

There was a chance that he had been somewhere else on the battlefield the entire time and Peter hadn't been lucky enough to see him fight again, but something told him the god had snuck away in Wakanda. Everyone had been in disarray and preparing for the final battle, so he could have teleported…somewhere?

Asgard had been destroyed. Both of them had been there, however brief their first encounter may have been, but there was nowhere for him to go. Did Thor know Loki was alive?

He hoped he did. It would have been pretty traumatising to watch someone you loved turn to dust right in front of you.

He really needed to talk to Tony about everything that had happened.

"Oh, it looks like we're back in New York," May said as she peered over his shoulder to look out of the window. Countless skyscrapers dominated the landscape, towering over all the office and apartment buildings surrounding them.

'Time to go home,' he thought.

Too many braincells

Me

So you guys will be here

around 2?

MJ <3< strong>

Yep

Guy in the chair

Lola is making some curry

Do u want some?

Me

Omg pls

It's the pork one right?

Guy in the chair

Yh

Me

I'll love u forever if u

bring some

Ned

Ofc

MJ <3< strong>

Ned u better bring some for

me >:(

Guy in the chair

Dw dw I gotchu

Cya in a bit

Me

Cyaaa

He smiled as he turned off his phone before putting it into his suit's pocket. He had grown up vising Ned and whenever his Lola was around she made an awesome curry, but her pork curries were his favourite. He couldn't wait to try one later.

Sighing, he jumped off of the building he had perched on and shot a web to a nearby lamppost, swinging through Harlem as he watched people go through their days. No one would be able to tell who had been turned to dust unless they observed people closely. The occasional wide-eyed glance as someone saw something that hadn't been there five years prior like a new building or shop that hadn't been part of their daily life before.

Thankfully, the one Thai place he and May liked to go to had remained open, so they could go there at some point in the future. Delmar's had survived – hell, the man himself hadn't been turned to dust. He didn't know if any of his family had been turned to dust, but maybe he would ask later if the time was right.

It had been strange that some people had and hadn't been turned to dust compared to the other timeline. A few celebrities he followed on Twitter had remained alive when in the first timeline they had died. He wondered what caused the differences.

'I wonder if Brad wasn't dusted,' he thought as he swung into the apartment complex where Aaron lived. He didn't know if Miles would be with him – oh shit, what if Miles hadn't been dusted? What would he look like? He would be about five years older so he would be fifteen.

Dropping into the playground, he made his way to Aaron's apartment and knocked on the door, hoping he still lived there. He had checked with Karen and she said Aaron hadn't changed his address, so he had made an impromptu visit. It partially was a catch up since he and Aaron had been on good terms since the last time they met, but he also was to check he still had a reliable intel source for arms dealers like MacGargan.

Neither Toomes or Schultz had been released from the Raft over the past few years so Peter didn't have to worry about them, but MacGargan became an annoying threat and the Snap created. Big opening for the black market. Weapons had become rife around New York and he wanted to keep on top of the crime.

He jolted out of his stupor once the door opened to see a man with shortly cut hair wearing joggers, a black hoodie and a familiar gold chain around his neck. His eyes widened as he realised who was at his door.

"Spidey?!"