20

Chapter 20Chapter Text

Kara turned to face Max who had been following her. She could see in his face what this was going to be about.

"Finding them will be the easy part." They both knew he was speaking the truth. "Defeating them with only you, that's our problem."

She forced her disquiet down, putting on her best public face, and a confidence she didn't feel in her words. "And to think I thought you'd learned by now, I can handle anything."

"I'm not trying to be an ass." He walked closer to her. "I know you can handle anything. But I'm actually worried. And if the others were thinking straight, they'd be worried too." Max didn't give her the luxury of mercy in his words. "You have no backup. Your sidekick J'onn is injured and is only outside of a cell because Director Lane has a soft touch. The DEO can't follow you because even if they had the firepower to make a difference, no human can go to whatever is generating this signal. Their heads would explode. And so would your joy suck of a partner. If just this level of the signal is debilitating Quake she won't even make it as close to Myriad as a human."

Kara's breath was shaky, but he was right. It was horrible, but he was right and it was all things she'd known, even if she had not wanted to think about it.

"If you go out there and fight, you might win. But the chances are this is a suicide mission."

She wondered if this was how he showed he cared. "You know I'll never stop trying."

"Believe me, no one's rooting for you more than I am. I just want you to know what you're facing so that you're prepared." And Rao they'd come so far. He'd gone from trying to kill her to being worried for her.

Kara would face what was coming, to her last breath. "I will stop Non and Indigo."

"Good." He held her gaze before turning to go back to the work of finding the source.

She swallowed, "Hey…Don't tell Alex my odds, okay?" Kara looked at the stone walls of the DEO and she knew what she had to do. But she had goodbyes she needed to say first. Things she needed to say.

Kara paused looking at the medical rooms. Daisy was being forced to breathe in oxygen, blood smeared across what little skin the doctor, or more likely Lucy, had managed to bully her into showing. Her ungloved hands and attention focused on the tablet she'd commandeered at some point. Working despite being in agony. Kara was so grateful to have had Daisy here with her every step of this horrible night and now day. But she wasn't who she needed to speak to first.

So Kara went into the other medical room where J'onn was sitting up on his bed. She crossed her arms, trying to stay strong for this as the door shut behind her. "Max Lord says he's very close to finding the source of the Myriad wave, and once he does, I'll have my mission."

"James Olsen called Lucy to tell her that you've been acting strange like you were saying goodbye or something?" J'onn looked at her with knowing eyes.

She swallowed looking away. "I didn't mean to worry him. I just… We both know what I'm up against."

He nodded, his shoulders moving from the motion. There was something almost pleading about his face.

"I will save the Earth, I promise you that." She was certain of that. She had to be. "I just don't know if I'll make it out alive.

J'onn's mouth opened, and then he just deflated, his head bowing, and arms holding his weight where he sat hunched over.

Kara hadn't wanted to cause him pain. "I didn't say things that needed to be said when I left Krypton and I wanted to make sure that I said them now." She waited till he looked up at her with grieved understanding. "Just in case."

"I was exactly where you are, Kara." His gaze held hers. "And when I was, you told me to never give up."

She shook her head. "I'm not giving up." This wasn't resigning herself, it was accepting the consequence of her will to fight and stand for what she believed in and loved. "But my mother didn't send me to Earth to fall in love with a human, have children, and live in a house with a white picket fence. She sent me here to protect Kal-El. And now, I will use my powers to protect the Earth."

Kara was filled with the love and the certainty of that love as she spoke. "And if I die achieving that, I'm at peace with it." She moved slightly so that J'onn couldn't look away from her. "I'll join my mother. We'll be together in Rao's light." She reached out, holding the top of J'onn's arms just below the shoulder and pulled him forward, and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Because she forgave him, and he didn't need to protect her from this.

Releasing him she smiled, the understanding of loss and grief and love sitting at peace between them. She gave a slight nod and then turned, leaving the room. Her next stop would be shorter.

It was so easy to just walk into the room where Daisy was. Daisy looked up at her.

"Hey, when are we leaving?" Daisy set the laptop aside, ready to hop off the medical bed.

Kara wasn't a spy, but Daisy'd told her in the beginning hadn't she? Kara was faster than her. She moved, unholstering Daisy's gun and shooting her with the glowing blue tranquilizing rounds.

Daisy's eyes barely had time to widen, her body just starting to twist. And then the blue veins from the chemical spread across her skin before she dropped.

Kara caught her before she could hurt herself. She looked over at Dr. Saunders, her voice felt thick. "Take care of her?"

Kara slipped into the control room, catching Lucy's arm and pulling her to the side slightly. Her voice was quiet. "I tranqed Quake, don't let anyone hurt her, please."

"We owe her our lives," Lucy hesitated. "Kara, what's going on?"

She smiled faintly, "She'd have tried to come with me and it would have killed her."

"Kara-"

She pulled away, raising her voice, "What do you have, Max?"

"Found 'em." Max gloated, pulling up the specs on the screens. "Thanks to this pretty little thing."

Kara's eyes widened in recognition. "An Omegahedron. We used these as energy sources on Krypton. Just one of them can power an entire city."

"Well, this one's powering the destruction of this planet," Max replied, folding his hands in his lap in the chair he was sitting in before the screens. "It's powering the Myriad wave, and its energy is building by the second."

Alex spoke up from the railing, "So where are the Kryptonians hiding?"

"About 500 miles northeast of here. Nevada."

Kara couldn't help it, "So your bomb wouldn't have worked."

"No, it wouldn't have," Max admitted with a tight smile.

Alex was frowning, "What the hell is in Nevada?"

"In my experience, mediocre buffets and regret," Max answered glibly.

Lucy frowned, "Video call in the General, I know I've seen a report mentioning army activity there."

"Ma'am," Valquez started typing, a screen coming up with General Lane's face.

The General was certainly prompt, -"Lucy!"- And he loved his daughter for all Kara kinda hated him.

Lucy straightened, "What's in Nevada? We've tracked the Myriad signal there."

-"It's Fort Rozz."-

Kara could help it, "What, you just left it there?"

-"You try moving a one million-ton alien spacecraft. We did the only thing we could."- He defended hotly. -"We concealed it using its own stealth technology, cordoned off the area, and called it a nuclear test zone."-

"Making it the perfect place to hide." Alex shared a look with Kara. "They've been there the whole time."

Kara uncrossed her arms, turning to leave. "I'll find them."

"Not by yourself you won't," J'onn said as he walked into the room. "I'm coming with you."

Alex looked nervous, hands twitching with frustration at not being able to help. "You're hurt."

"There are too many lives at risk to send an agent in alone." J'onn looked at Kara and she understood.

It shouldn't have been a surprise to hear Max speaking up. "She's going to need all the help she can get."

"I got it." J'onn said.

Kara and he turned, walking towards the exit only to pause as Alex started to follow.

She raised her hands like she wanted to grab on and pull them back. "J'onn, Supergirl, be careful." Her hands lightly touched both of their arms before dropping to her sides.

J'onn nodded.

Kara reached back, unfastening her mother's necklace, and held it out to Alex. "Keep it safe for me?"

"Yeah." Alex's brow crinkled as she looked at her.

Kara couldn't stay, her sister knew her too well. So she turned and walked out.

"You didn't say goodbye to your sister," J'onn said once they were out of earshot.

She tipped her chin up. "If I say goodbye, I'm never leaving." And she had Non, Indigo, any others they may have prepared for them, and a million-ton spaceship to deal with.

////

Kara woke up with the sharp prickly sensation of the solar bed when she was so tapped out the solar power prickled rather than tingled. Looking around the metal room of the DEO medical room was empty. She started to sit up, before groaning by the time she hit an upright position. She felt achy and sore. How…she'd died. She'd been floating above the earth, Non defeated, Fort Rozz off the earth and with it Myriad. But now...

She turned to the touch on her arm. Kara felt confused but such deep affection at the sight of her sister. "What happened?"

The practiced calm on Alex said it was serious. Alex squeezed her arm. "You saved the world." She dropped her arm, her voice slightly shaky. "And then I saved you with your pod." Alex smiled slightly, "You're not the only badass in the family."

Kara couldn't help laughing, her sister's laughter joining her. The relief was electric and shaky and exhausting all at once.

"And, uh..." Alex reached up, unfastening the necklace from around her neck. "This belongs to you." She handed it to Kara before her hands fell to her hips. "I think your mother would've really appreciated my piloting skills."

Kara would never be able to put into words the weight of her love and relief at the sight of her sister there beside her.

"There are a lot of people out there waiting to say thank you." There was a quality to Alex's voice that said she'd been crying.

Everything felt…soft. The sharp urgency and weight of the hours of just everything since Myriad had started just gone. Kara knew her voice was quiet. "J'onn?"

"Injured, again, but the President called, she's pardoned him." Alex ran her hand up and down Kara's arm. "No more being on the run."

She nodded, her smile crinkling around her eyes. "Good, that's really good."

"I think Lucy's going to hire him back on at the DEO, she was in his medical room as soon as the ink was on paper." Alex looked at her with those eyes brimming with all the things they'd said when Kara had thought she was going to die. And maybe, maybe they were good again.

Kara swallowed thickly, "Quake?"

"Woke up an hour ago, refused medical care, and left as soon as she saw you were alive." Alex hesitated, "You trust her?"

Kara nodded, "I do."

"Ok, then." Alex's face said she had some thoughts about that but wasn't going to say them now.

Kara was grateful for it. "Eliza?"

"Out with everyone else." Alex laid her hand over Kara's. "She's going to be so upset once she stops being relieved."

She leaned into her sister. "El Mayarah."

"El Mayarah." Alex agreed.

And it wasn't perfect, but Kara had her sister back. Alex wasn't going anywhere without her, and that made it perfect in its own way. But time to face everyone. Even if Kara felt a quiet sorrow more than any kind of pride about what she'd done. Relief, and joy at her loved ones being safe. But sorrow lingered anyway. She breathed out, "Stay by my side?"

"Wouldn't be anywhere else." Alex agreed.

Kara landed in her apartment. It was dark and silent. The sound, smells, and warmth of another person were absent. She couldn't blame anyone but herself. She wouldn't change what she'd done. But it still ached to see she'd ruined things just when she'd realized what was there. Or could be there? She wanted to be there?

She swallowed thickly, but couldn't bring herself to move, or change from her suit. It didn't matter that she knew Alex, Eliza, and everyone thought and had ordered her to go get some rest. This silent darkness felt…honest in a way the lights, praise, and gratitude earlier had't. The peace from earlier hadn't faded, but she'd died in the cold of space, and now was left to face what she'd accepted as lost.

"Hey," There was a knock on the open window frame.

Kara turned, "Daisy?" She couldn't keep the surprise off of her face.

Daisy tilted her head, "Yeah, I felt you get back. If now isn't a good time-"

"No, it's…it's a good time." Kara couldn't help sweeping Daisy for injuries, "You're not bleeding?"

Daisy shook her head as she easily climbed through the window, shutting it behind her. "No, I heal pretty fast, drank a Gatorade, and ate some protein bars. All healed up."

"I'm not sorry I shot you," Burst out of Kara's mouth despite that probably not being what she should have said.

Daisy shook her head, shoving her hands into her pockets. "No, you're fine. Next time maybe mention it'd kill me to help. I'd have hated it, but I'd have listened."

Kara's breathing was shaky, "I know I should have explained, but if you'd said anything to Alex and she realized, or if you'd tried to follow me anyway, I couldn't be responsible if you kept getting hurt, or even died."

"Hey, hey, I'm fine." Daisy was to her in three strides, hands cupping her face. "Ok? I'm fine. I might not be a plant like you that just has to get stuck in the sun, but I heal fast. And I'm bad at going easy when I should. Always have been. I'm not mad at you. Furthest thing from it."

She leaned into the touch, her hands coming up and holding Daisy's wrists, eyes closing.

Daisy shifted, and pulled her into a hug, "You did good, so, so good."

Shuddering, Kara leaned into Daisy's arms, hugging her back just as tightly.

"What do you need?" Daisy asked, arms tightening in a way that Kara could feel.

Kara didn't dare pull away, knowing her face was heated from what she was asking. "I don't want to be alone."

"I think we can handle that." Daisy gave a last squeeze, before pulling back, her brow raised, fond crinkles around her eyes. "First, you smell like space and are still in the suit though. Go shower, you'll feel more human."

She smiled, "Thank you."

"Hey, I barely helped," Daisy pushed her gently toward the bathroom. "Go, do you want me to order food?"

Kara shook her head, "Alex made me eat before she let me come home."

"Got it, extra pancakes tomorrow," Daisy replied as easy as anything. Because of course, she did.

Kara wasn't sure what exactly to do once she was out of the shower, in her softest pajamas, and just kind of standing there. She was too wrung out to really feel awkward, and too tired to be tense, but she wasn't entirely sure what to do.

Daisy rolled her eyes and then reached out and shoved her hard enough to topple her onto the bed with an 'oof'. Shaking her head, a faint smile on her face, she walked around, climbing in on the other side. "Come on, post near-death experience sleepless nights are par for the course."

She hesitated for a second and then crawled under the covers and scooted close enough that her knees were bumping into Daisy's, and she could feel her closeness. Kara closed her eyes and felt the last vestiges of the tension drain from her.

It was still. Kara spoke slowly, her arms coming up and folding against her chest, "It was cold."

"Space?" Daisy asked.

She could still feel it. "Hmm…but it was also…silent."

"It is," Daisy agreed quietly.

Kara wasn't sure why she trembled then. "It was peaceful. I saw Fort Rozz drifting away, and I knew everyone was safe, and I was…content."

Daisy let out a long sigh before shifting closer, and pressing her forehead against Kara's, her fingers curling around Kara's hands. "Yeah, permission to die a good death… it's peaceful like that." Her thumb rubbed at Kara's hand absently. "Are you glad you came back?"

"Yes? But it doesn't feel…" Kara wasn't sure how to explain. Just the love and relief and gratitude and sorrow just all there.

"Real?" Daisy offered.

Kara hummed, it was as close as anything.

"It'll feel real again in the morning." Daisy hesitated slightly, "And Kara, it's ok to feel sad about surviving, even if you didn't want to die."

Kara felt tears burning in her eyes, she didn't have anything left in her to say to that. She just snuggled into Daisy, her nose poking into Daisy's neck, and her silent tears soaking Daisy's t-shirt.

Warm arms just wrapped around her, and Daisy didn't say anything else, just holding her, the warm hum of her vibrations buzzing against her. And Kara felt safe.