69 Everything's gonna be okay.

 Lance. 

Bipolar disorder. 

I don't even know what that is. I have heard about it but it has never been a concern to me. 

I don't fully know what it is. 

I know it has to do with mood swings. 

Suddenly everything makes sense to me. The hyped-up moods, the low ones. The days he stayed in bed. The times I tried to reach out to him and he wasn't just there. 

Fucking hell. 

The medication. 

It all makes sense now. 

I cry in his arms for I don't even know how long. Is he supposed to be comforting me? Its supposed to be the other way round but I feel so pain remorse. So much regret, I don't know what to do. I don't have the right things to say. 

I left him today, he waited in the cold for me. 

I am a fucking jerk.