Chapter two

A knock on the door woke me from sleep as well as the nightmares that torments me every time I close my eyes.

I opened my eyes just as Iseul walked into the room.

"Hey!" She smiled at me taking a seat on the bed beside my prone form.

"How long was I asleep," I stretched sitting up on the bed.

"Six hours."

Her words surprised me. That is the longest I have gotten any sleep in a while. Despite the long rest I still feel tired. I am always in this perpetual state of tiredness that I can't get rid no matter how much I try.

My therapist says I am depressed, but I don't want to believe it, even though it is staring at me in the face.

"Want to go out for dinner?"

My stomach growled before I could respond causing me to blush.

Iseul chuckled. The sound as weird as I remembered. Iseul laughter sounds like a frog croaking. I smiled at the familiarity.

"Guess that is a yes," she teased getting off the bed.

"I will get dressed," I said moving to the closet.

"I will be waiting outside," she walked out of the room giving me some privacy.

I took few minutes to get dressed, run a comb through my dark waves that have been messed up by sleep and pour some cold water on my face to get rid of sleep marks on them, and maybe warm up my puffy eyes.

When I came out Iseul gave my appearance a weird look. It was obvious she didn't approve.

"What?" I asked looking down.

"You are dressed like my grandma. Don't you have something attractive to put on. Guys will not look at us with you all dressed this shabby."

I sighed inwardly. Somethings certainly never changes. She is still after the approval of boys, men now just as she was in college.

I looked down at the dress in question and saw nothing wrong with it. Yes it is a little big over my slim frame, unfortunately I am still battling to keep my weight, but when you don't have much appetite to eat most of the days it becomes a difficult task. The gown is way past my knees, but it doesn't look too bad on me. It is not the trendy fashion these days but it is what I am comfortable in.

"I thought you said we are going out to dinner," I quietly pointed out, not seeing why I need to dress hot as she eloquently put it to go out for dinner.

So? You are in your thirties, so you shouldn't dress like you are in your sixties,what if we meet someone important, a heir of a big company, or even the one, he will take one look at you and run the other way" she tsked giving my gown another disapproved look.

I sighed again with no strength to argue with her. I don't think we will be meeting anyone important tonight.

"Damn right, we won't, not with you dressed like this, guys will be put off to approach us, in case you are not looking, I am single and seriously searching, my parents are knocking down my door to get married, I am looking to settle down before this year runs down, hopefully with a rich handsome billionaire," she teased with a dreamy expression on her face.

"Well you are dressed smart and hot enough, the guys can approach you. I am not interested," I said flatly

Iseul was looking over dressed for the casual dinner we were going out for, but then again Iseul never leaves the house without looking her best, make up and all.

"Please can you change," she made a puppy face at me.

"There will be no point," I said softly. Her face resumed it normal expression and she gave me a questioning look.

"All my clothes are like this, I pointed at what I have on."

After the incident I grew to hate wearing anything revealing. The idea of a guy looking at me and finding me attractive makes my skin crawl. I am very comfortable wearing the grandma clothes as Iseul calls it. It gives me peace of mind, especially when I am out.

She gave me a look of disbelief. "Who did your shopping, your grandma?"

I shook my head. I shopped myself.

She tsked at me, shaking her head as if wondering what to do with me. "You used to have a better fashion sense than this when we were college."

My body tensed up when she mentioned college, but she carried on without noticing. I took few silent deep breaths to get my body to relax.

"Tomorrow we are going shopping and discarding the rags you have."

"No!" I whispered, tensing again.

"I know the exact boutique we can go. They have the latest designers wears, bags shoes," her brown eyes grew wide with excitement. Guess she hasn't lost her shopping addiction.

"No!" I said louder, in a stern tone, finally getting her attention.

"What!" She blinked at me like she just returned from lala land.

"We are not going shopping. I love the way I dressed, and I will be happy if you can respect that, Iseul or I leave."

She looked at me like I am pulling her legs but my expression remained stern. This was non negotiable.

She nodded with a curious look at my face.

"I am sorry. And please no more saying that you will leave Ji-a, I want you here and I have missed you."

Her expression was sincere. The tension left my body, and my fist unclenched. I hadn't realised I had them clenched.

I want to be here too. Being here with Iseul helps keep the loneliness and the darkness at bay.

"Thanks, I said to her, grateful to her for respecting my wishes and not asking questions.

She smiled at me.

"Let's go," she headed for the door and I followed.

We didn't drive because Iseul said the streets is better experienced on foot. She was right it was lovely at night with the city lights and the buzzing of night life. Every of the shops were still open and people moving around everywhere.

I walked silently beside Iseul while she chatted about work and her colleagues. Iseul works as the marketing director in her father's company.

"Let's go in there, she pointed at a restaurant on our left. I turned to move when my body collided with a solid wall. I fell backwards with a squeal, but before I could hit the ground a hand reached out and caught me by the waist putting us in a tango position.

"Are you alright?"

His deep husky voice made me look up at him and everything inside me froze to ice as soon as our eyes met. My heart collapsed into my stomach. The blood in my veins stopped flowing and I could only gape wide eyed into the face of my ugly past.

It can't be! was the last thing in my mind before I succumbed to darkness.

When I woke up I was on the hospital bed with curtains drawn to form a private cubicle. I groaned when my head started to ache.

"Ji-a! You are awake!" Iseul flew off her seat and hurried to me a look of terrified excitement on her face.

"What happened?" I moaned still in pain. The memories of the last few hours of my life is kind of blurry. All I remember is leaving the house with Iseul to go get dinner.

"Did we get the dinner?"

Iseul shook her head, her eyes a little teary. I became concerned. "What is wrong?"

"You are asking me! You scared ten years out of my life when you fainted like that. Thank God for the hot Good Samaritan who brought you to the hospital. Ji-a, you need to have seen him. He was sizzling. I told you we can meet a hot rich dude. He reminds me so much of the hot ML in all these drama movies…

Iseul carried on but lost me when she said fainted.

Fainted! I tried to think back and everything came flooding back. My heart beat increased and I began to pant, I couldn't breathe. Was it really him? The hair looks different, but those eyes. They have been a constant feature in my nightmares that I can't forget them. I started to feel breathless, clutching my chest as if that would help me.

My fight to get air into my lungs finally caught the attention of Iseul who was still rambling. She stopped and closed the distance between us

"Ji-a breath!" She yelled at me, her eyes wide with panic, but I couldn't. I tried but the air felt out of reach.

"Look at me!" she grabbed me by the shoulders strongly forcing me to focus on her.

I did.

"Good, now breath with me."

I stared intently at her face using it as beacon to pull myself out of my past. I tried to follow her breathing and slowly my chest opened up, my heart rate slowed and I could breath normally again.

Iseul exhaled loudly, before collapsing with her buttocks on the bed.

"What is going on Ji-a? She was staring at me worriedly.

I wished I could tell her. I never told any of the girls about that night.

"It is nothing," I responded flatly with a stoic expression on my face. I sat up on the bed and then got down from it. My head felt slightly dizzy but I was able to remain on my feet.

"What are you doing Ji-a?" Iseul jumped up from the bed and ran to my side. She caught me when my body swayed.

"I am leaving," I told her coldly removing her grips from my body.

"What! But you are still shaking on your feet."

I ignored her and staggered away. I was leaving this place even if I have to crawl away from it. I hate hospitals.