Just InCommunityForumMoreFairy Love by Dr Yandere Anime » Fairy Tail Rated: M, English, Romance & Drama, [Erza S., Natsu D., Mirajane S.], Words: 119k+, Favs: 317, Follows: 324, Published: Aug 8, 2020 Updated: Jun 14, 2022214Chapter 2: Realization
I forgot to clarify last time that while some scenes will be taken out of the manga/anime and changed accordingly, it's not like I'm trying to discredit Hiro Mashima or anything. This is just my version of how I wished Fairy Tail would have gone. Honestly, I felt disappointed at the lackluster progression and ending of the original series. Natsu didn't really change as a person, and I can't say he became better as a mage in the end as well. Sure, he got stronger, but it's still the same as the first arc (vs Erigor) when he relied on the half-assed power of emotions. I mean, that's lazy writing right there. At least introduce some techniques he learned from training or something (speaking of which, Mashima never did show us Natsu's training, and how he mastered Igneel's power. Like, did he come back from the dead as an astral form to give his powers to Natsu?) Not that I can't see how it would affect someone's performance because even in real life, emotions affect the overall performance of people, but still, it wouldn't hurt to see Natsu progress not just as a mage, but as a person in general.
So my issue with Fairy Tail is this: I felt like it was written with Erza in mind. You know how in other shounen and famous anime, there's always the author "beautifying" the MC at the end? And by that, I mean transitioning them from the typically immature, weak and incomplete character they were from the beginning to this cool, badass character in the end? (Take note of how much Naruto, Luffy fom One Piece and Ichigo from Bleach became recognized as reliable characters in the latter parts, and by that I mean adored and idolized by their peers and everyone else) Well, FT had none of that. Despite his heroics from the Alvarez War and even beating Acnologia (he might've borrowed the other dragon slayers' strength, but let's not downplay his achievements too much. It takes quite some skill to control that much power. Imagine if it was Wendy who borrowed all their powers, would she have dealt the finishing blow to Acnologia? Basically, what I'm trying to say is Natsu became God Serena at that part), there was no celebration for him or at least some recognition. But now imagine if it was Erza who did all that, everyone in FT would be all about Erza being the strongest, and how amazing she is, and she'll most likely become a wizard saint even. And yet whenever it's Natsu who does all these amazing things, Mashima downplays his achievements and never gives him anything for it in the end. He can be a badass at some moments, but he doesn't get anything in return in the future.
It's not like I hate Erza, I ship her with Natsu because I honestly believe someone needs to balance out all the traits that stuck with Natsu (childishness, idioticy, recklessness, impulsiveness, etc.). I can't ever see Lucy making Natsu a better character at all, if anything, she's the one who constantly relies on him. There's just no room for growth for him when he sticks with Lucy, and this really ruined him for me. Not like I wasn't expecting it tho. Mashima has a tendency to create and introduce this cool characters with lots of potential, but ends up failing to deliver in the end. Like how he made Seilah from Tartaros yuri? I don't gay-shame, and I don't have any problem with them. But come on, why waste them when you could've used her to beautify Natsu. I really liked her character design and how cute her personality was, but she ended up yuri and dead. It's such a waste!
I'm sorry for this rant that I'm sure most, if not all, of you can relate to, but reading up until the most recent chapter of the 100 Years Quest sequel, I saw that nothing changed. I thought Natsu would finally have his own fangirl, turns out it was mistaken identity and for Happy of all people. I feel like Mashima is purposefully avoiding making Natsu have that cool factor. And the reason why I'm finally letting this all out is because with the way the sequel is turning out to be, it looks like nothing has changed at all. I just always had this image of the protagonist in top-tier animes being surrounded by everyone, where they get hyped up because they make enemies who are obsessed about defeating them, or they acknowledged as a strong person in the end, but I feel as if it's all going great for Erza rather than Natsu. As he is now, he's got to be one of the crappiest MCs ever. I like him because I see potential in turning him into a great character, but I'm not really satisfied and am actually quite disappointed at how he turned out in the end. Besides, shouldn't the MC suffer a death that would ultimately change them for the better? Igneel died, but it really failed to stick with me why it's so important. I get that he was the motive for most of Natsu's actions until now, but say if someone close to Natsu throughout his adventures died, someone we all had a chance to connect with in the series, wouldn't we understand more the reason for Natsu's sudden strength disparity after that single year of training? We would all be given the chance to empathize and we would not question the countless inconsistencies and holes in the Alvarez Arc. For example, where the hell did the other Wizard Saints go? It's like they told themselves 'Hey, our enemy is the former 1st Wizard Saint, and there are 11 others just like him? Screw this!" Why was END so fucking weak, to not only be on equal footing with Gray, but then suddenly gets stopped by Erza? It's always Erza. The cool enemies even go to her while Natsu's enemies doesn't give a flying shit about him. I feel like Mashima had no respect for Natsu's character whatsoever and it just really turned me off. FT is a good series to make fanfictions about, but difficult to just take it all in and accept how it went.
This is just my opinion tho, so you can disagree with me (because I already know how most FT fans think, so I know I'm in the minority here). I don't wanna disrespect Mashima because he brought such an editable work with countless, better possibilities into existence, but it's really hard not to.
I'm not sure about this chapter, because even I felt weirded out, but please, Enjoy!
Chapter 2: Realization
"Eh?" Natsu replied, the smile in his eyes fading.
"I'm sorry, but I can't accept your feelings right now. The way I am now, I feel like it wouldn't be fair to go out with you with half-baked feelings." Erza said, mustering up the courage to look at Natsu now.
Rather than surprised, Natsu looked sad, as if he was already expecting it. Ever since he heard Erza's story about her childhood at the Tower of Heaven with Jellal, he felt uneasy. He felt as if there would always be a part of Erza weighing her down from opening her heart to someone else. This made his blood boil. That's why despite being person who doesn't usually hold grudges (for the most part because he's too dumb to recall what they've done), Natsu hated Jellal so much.
When he saw Erza's reaction when Jellal was about to be taken away, he didn't care if he was gonna lose his chance with her, he knew he might regret it later on if they succeeded in bringing him back, but he still fought for Jellal so she wouldn't be sad anymore. Although deep down, Natsu was hoping Erza would finally be able to move on from Jellal and notice his feelings. But he was wrong.
He insisted on comforting Erza eventhough they all told him to give her time to herself because he felt responsible for hurting Erza more. If only he hadn't fought back and made Erza realize that letting go of Jellal was the best choice, she would've at least been a little happier clinging on to her feelings for him a little longer. Because as much as Natsu hated to admit it, Jellal is the only one who can make Erza happy like no one else could.
'I guess I can't do anything about it anymore.' He accepted it… Or so he thought. Although he thought he could finally move on after hearing the words he so desperately didn't want to hear, why couldn't his heart stop its erratic beat. He's been so nervous this whole time, anxious that his worst fears might come to light and afraid to face this very moment. And yet what was his heart holding on to?
"I'm really sorry, Natsu. I know that my chance with Jellal has long since passed. I thought I already moved on, but when I saw him again, all my feelings came back. I had hoped that one day, I could have the old friend I admired, and the first person I ever loved…"
"…But now I know that's impossible. Although you mustered the courage to pour your heart out for me, I couldn't give you what you wanted, I'm sorry for being such a terrible person." Erza said, crying.
After several moments of pause, Natsu responded glumly. "Oh, I see…"
Natsu felt guilty for making Erza cry.
His expression was indiscernible, not letting a single shred of emotion show. 'I guess it's like that, huh?'
But seeing Erza cry, he was angry. He was angry because he couldn't stand the fact that eventhough he's already gone, Jellal is still causing Erza to suffer.
But remembering his promise to Simon at the Tower of Heaven, and how he never wanted to see Erza cry again, he refused to give up. Even if it's painful, he'll make sure things stay the same between them and that Erza will never have to cry because of him ever again. Deciding it was for the best, he responded:
"But I'm still not giving up!" He shouted at her, causing Erza to look at Natsu in surprise.
"Huh?"
"Yeah, you heard me, I'm not gonna give up on you. I don't care how long it takes, as long as you don't give your heart to someone else, I'll be there for you…"
Erza couldn't believe what she was hearing. She just told him that she couldn't return his feelings, and yet he was still gonna stay by her side. 'What did I do to be loved so much?'
Erza trembled, continuing to cry.
"…So don't be sad anymore." At this, Erza suddenly tackled Natsu to the ground, hugging him tightly.
"Then when the time do comes that I finally move on, I'll answer you properly then." Erza said from Natsu's shoulder.
This got Natsu to smile, hope rejuvenated within him. "Yosh, I'm all fired up!"
Erza giggled at his childish antics. Staying at their position for a little while longer, she finally stood up and helped Natsu up as well.
"Then promise me you'll wait for me until then, ok?" Erza said, a gentle smile now donning her face. She stuck out her pinky finger, waiting for Natsu to reciprocate her action.
"It's a promise!" Natsu smiled happily, intertwining his pinky finger with hers.
After that, they parted ways for the day, looking forward to a brighter future ahead of them… Unfortunately, the future was not as bright for Natsu.
Timeskip to 7 Years Later, before the Grand Magic Games
"Damn! That was painful." Natsu separated himself from the others who were still passed out and walked through the forest to recover from the pain. When he heard that there was a quick way to make them stronger, Natsu was jolly at first. But once he experienced that pain, his excitement died down.
"But with this, we can finally have a shot at winning the Games and becoming the best again." He cheerfully exclaimed. But something was still bugging him.
When Jellal and the members of Crime Sorciere revealed themselves, they were all surprised to say the least, especially since it was kinda unexpected to see those three teaming up after not meeting them for a long time.
While they exchanged greetings, Natsu was surprised that he was able to act so cool around them. If this happened 7 years ago, he would've gone and said all kinds of things already, but surprisingly, he was doing a very good job of holding back. He thought about his confession back then, and what Erza told him, but now that Jellal is back, will it all change?
Maybe it was because he was hoping for the possibility that Jellal may not feel the same way as Erza does, that he was able to calm himself.
'But what if he loves her too?' He didn't want to think about it, but he couldn't help but feel anxious. Now that Jellal is in the same place as them, something might actually happen.
'But I won't allow it! He hurt her too much to be getting second chances.' Eventhough he thought he was past hating Jellal, seeing him after so long reignited his feelings of rage towards the azure-haired man. And maybe it was also because he was selfish and didn't want to lose Erza, or because he was feeling insecure, but he didn't want anything to happen between the two of them.
Arriving at the conclusion that the best way to do that was to be with Erza at all times while Jellal was here, he quickly tried to find her.
Just as he was about to head back to the camp, thinking that she might still be there, he smelled a familiar strawberry scent close-by in the other direction.
'Speak of the devil.' Natsu was surprised that despite coming after him, Erza was able to recover just as quick as he did. She really was strong. It was one of the many things he liked about her because she was someone who motivated him to get stronger.
Jumping at the chance to spend some time with Erza alone, he ran towards the cliff where the direction of her scent was coming from, only she wasn't alone.
'This smell? It's-' Natsu panicked when he recognized Jellal's scent as well.
Because of how anxious he was feeling, he was already making assumptions, 'Why are they together? What are they doing right now? Don't tell me-' , these kinds of thoughts invaded Natsu's mind.
Refusing to think about it, Natsu continued to run faster. Finally approaching the clearing, Natsu looked around for signs of their presence.
He kept looking near the shore since it was easier considering he was on top of a cliff, but he couldn't spot them. 'That's weird, I can smell them, but I don't see them.'
He kept looking around until finally, below him, he saw them. His eyes widened:
In front of him, he saw Jellal on top of Erza, about to kiss her.
Without bothering to stick around and see how it plays out, he couldn't muster the strength to stay and see what comes next. Call him pathetic for doing so, but his insecurity and anxiety reached a new high, and his worst nightmare came to life. He simply couldn't bear all his jealousy around them anymore. He was so sick of it. He was tired after all this time expecting something good to happen. He was finally broken.
Natsu felt devastated… At least that's what he thought he was gonna feel. But right now, he didn't know what he felt. It was like a mix of feeling betrayed, angry, sad, and depressed but at the same time, he felt… happy? He didn't understand why.
'What's this feeling? Why do I feel this way?'
He loved Erza for as long as he can remember, but how come out of all the different emotions he was feeling right now, a sense of happiness was one of them? Was he giving up? Surely he couldn't be happy that Erza finally found happiness with Jellal, right?
The night after he confessed to Erza in front of his house 7 years ago, he started to leave his house door open. This confused Happy, but Natsu told Happy that it's not like there was gonna be any dangers, considering they live in the middle of the forest, and only a select few know where their house is. It baffled Happy why Natsu only realized this now, but knowing how airheaded he was, he accepted Natsu's explanation immediately.
But the truth was that he left the door unlocked so if Erza ever decides to accept his feelings and return them in the future like they promised, nothing would stop her. In a way, keeping the door of his home unlocked was like keeping his heart open for her.
And yet when he saw them, after all his negative emotions, a sense of relief washed over him.
He was about to cry, and when the first tear finally streaked across his face, like a ray of light in the darkness he was surrounded in, he finally realized what it was that made him feel this way.
'I was in love with Erza? Wasn't that what I just told myself when I saw how mad I was when I saw her cry? I didn't understand it before, but how come I finally realize it now. I really am the dumbest guy ever.'
Natsu always thought he liked Erza. After all the years he's been around her, he always felt the weirdest whenever she was around him, but he always had the growing suspicion that it was just because he admired her more than anybody. She wasn't Gildarts or Laxus, but she always seemed to be in control of herself and face any obstacles that come her way, something that he couldn't do. Maybe it was because he spent nearly every day around her that his feelings for her grew.
Used to being in the spotlight and surrounded by his comrades, he admired the fact that Erza had the strength to be alone. He was never smart, and eventhough he wanted to be stronger more than anybody else, he was always relying on their help. Although he didn't see this as a bad thing because to him, relying on your comrades is what a guild is all about.
So when he saw Erza's tendency to distance herself and face her obstacles by herself as much as possible, he wanted to help her out of her own little world. He didn't want to see anyone sad, so he wanted her to open herself in front of her family.
After the Tower of Heaven fiasco, he prematurely came to the conclusion that he loved her based off of his preconceptions.
Despite not being the sharpest tool in the shed, and being a person ruled by his heart and emotions rather than his head, he thought there was at least no way he of all people could get his feelings wrong. Maybe it was pride, but now he regretted not talking to anyone about this.
He inadvertently led himself to feel this way about Erza, thinking that if she found someone she can love, someone who can fill the void in her heart, she can finally share her heart just like everyone else. He wanted Erza to have someone she could trust again after he heard her story about having trust issues because of her childhood.
So he thought that since Erza would never take the initiative to tell anyone how she feels, and since every guy is scared to approach her, he would take it upon himself to make her trust again.
But somewhere along the way, he really did come to fall for her.
'I finally understand'
The reason why he felt happy was because he could finally move on from this illusion. He really did love Erza, but when he witnessed how much Jellal had changed for the better, he was finally content to leave her in his hands. Maybe the reason why he hated Jellal so much was because he couldn't trust him before, and knowing how blind Erza's love for him was, he felt uneasy.
Wiping his tears away, he crossed his arms and smiled with his eyes closed.
'I guess it's also fine this way. Some things just aren't meant to be.'
And so he continued to hide behind the tree, leaning on it in his position, achieving a sense of closure within himself.
…
Getting back to the guild from their training trip and finalizing their plans for the Grand Magic Games, it was now evening.
Everyone was off doing their own thing, so they didn't notice Erza sulking in the bar. She was thinking about what happened after Jellal fell on top of her.
Without realizing it herself, she was looking at Natsu from time to time. And when she wasn't, she made sure he was in the corner of her eye.
Meanwhile, Mira was stealing glances at Natsu because she was worried about him. Since they came back from the training, she noticed Natsu trying his best to act like he did as usual when everyone else couldn't. As someone who changed her personality and gradually got used to acting like a different person, she was able to notice these kinds of details on others.
So after they finished planning for the GMG, unsurprisingly, she was the only one who noticed something different about Natsu. He looked so… satisfied, she was guessing? And yet, Natsu looked melancholic, like he lost something or someone.
"Then, we're going ahead, Mira-nee." Lisanna said, exiting the guild with Elfman.
"Alright, have a safe trip home!" Mira waved at them from the bar.
Eventually, closing time drew near, and members of the guild left one after the other. Soon, it was just Mira, Kinana, Master, Erza, Happy and Natsu in the guild. Mavis was already off somewhere else, doing God knows what.
Mira was wiping the water leftovers from the washed dishes and was placing them in their racks, still looking at Natsu from time to time. Natsu was at the bar staring at a sleeping Happy. Kinana was finishing her sweeping duties, Master Makarov was just sitting on the counter, closing his eyes and thinking about something, while Erza continued to be lost in thought.
"I'm heading home now. Good night, everyone," Kinana said after finishing her duties for the day, breaking the silence in their small guildhall.
The ones remaining bid her goodbye in response.
"Then, I'll accompany you back. I can't sit tight knowing that you're gonna be wondering the streets late at night." Master Makarov said. Kinana politely rejected him, thinking she doesn't want to be a bother, but Master insisted. And so they departed for their respective homes. "Then, I'll leave closing up the guild to you, Mira."
"Alright. Good night guys!" Mira said from her spot in the bar.
Deciding to wait until Mira closed the guild to make Happy sleep a little bit longer, Natsu continued to stare off into space lazily, his mind drifting off. He didn't mind that it was just the four of them now, having nothing to say to Erza anymore after achieving closure with his feelings.
Erza was the next person who decided to leave, but before she did, she looked at Natsu like she wanted to say something. "…"
Noticing her gaze on him, Natsu addressed her. "What is it, Erza?"
Hearing Natsu break the silence, Mira curiously shifted her gaze to them.
"…" Just as she was about to open her mouth to say something to him, she backed out sensing Mira's gaze on them and bid them good night as well.
"…Nothing, good night." She said to them both, leaving swiftly, distressed about something, or lack thereof. Not that Natsu or Mira noticed.
Seeing Erza's weird exit, Mira was even more curious now. She's been watching them the whole day. First, it was just Natsu, but when she happened to come across Erza looking at Natsu, she found something suspicious. Erza's abrupt exit just now raised her suspicions that something happened between the two.
And now, it was just the three of them (including a sleeping Happy). Seeing this as her chance to ask Natsu about it, she tried to speak up, but fearing that it might be a sensitive topic, it was easier said than done. Inevitably, an awkward silence took over the room.
Happy started to roll around in his sleep, now snoring cutely as well.
Seeing this, Natsu smiled and decided it was time to leave the guild. "I guess it's time for us to go home as well. See you tomorrow, Mira." Natsu said, before getting off the chair preparing to leave.
Seeing Natsu about to leave, Mira realized that she was gonna lose her chance.
Just as he was about to pick up Happy, Mira shouted at Natsu to wait.
"Wait!"
"Huh? Do you need something, Mira?" Natsu said, with slightly enlarged eyes, surprised at Mira's sudden outburst.
'Why did I have to shout it like that?' Mira thought, flustered that she embarrassed herself.
Hearing Mira shout, Happy woke up. "What's going on?" He asked, groggily rubbing his half-lidded eyes, drool pooling at one corner of his mouth.
Sorry for waking Happy up, she apologized. "I'm sorry for waking you up, Happy."
"So, why did you tell me to wait?" Natsu asked, curious and wanting to get it over with so he could take Happy home.
"Oh! Uh, erm…. I needed to ask you something?" Mira cutely said, pressing her index fingers against one another.
"Sure, what is it?"
Mira hesitated for a few moments, then remembering her previous thoughts about it being a sensitive topic, she looked at Happy.
"Happy, could you go home ahead of Natsu? This is kind of private."
Natsu and Happy perked up at this, finding her request odd. Then, Happy looked at Mira and then Natsu, and then Mira again. Smiling mischievously, he rolled his tongue while telling Natsu "You llliiikkkeeeee her!"
Natsu and Mira blushed slightly, but Natsu was quick to recover "We're just gonna talk!"
Happy just continued to giggle mischievously, then opened his wings, following Mira's request and leaving the guild, but not before saying, "Don't do anything perverted now." He said, trying to contain his laugh.
Natsu and Mira blushed heavily now, Happy laughing as he flew away.
"Why you-!" Natsu said, looking at the direction Happy went.
After causing this commotion, Happy left Natsu and Mira with another awkward silence.
Deciding to break the tension, he asked Mira what she wanted to ask him.
"So, what's up?" Natsu said, trying to play it off cooly. 'Damn that Happy! Now I feel weird around her'
"…" Seeing that Mira was still hesitating, Natsu decided to push her to speak slightly. Mira was really acting strange right now, so that got him a little worried.
'Maybe she's shy to say it out loud?' And with that thought, he decided to break her hesitation.
"Seriously, just talk to me. I don't bite."
Misinterpreting Natsu's tone as annoyance, Mira decided to proceed with her "interrogation".
"Alright then. So, about you and Erza…"
Natsu' eyes widened slightly, but he quickly composed himself so he wouldn't be too suspicious. Seeing his reaction, Mira was now sure that her hunch was right. Wanting to probe the topic a little more, she continued.
"Did something happen between you two?"
'How does she know?' Natsu was bewildered that Mira was able to sense that. Eventhough he was trying his best to hide it, and he didn't really notice Erza the whole day (because she was trying her best to keep a low profile so no one would be suspicious of her catching peaks at Natsu from time to time), Mira was still somehow able to connect the dots.
"…" Although he was already able to come to terms with the fact that Erza will never choose him over Jellal, and despite having all those realizations back then at that clearing, he was still felt down. He's disillusioned himself to fall in love with Erza that he actually got swept up by it. What he was feeling now was like the feeling of letting go of something that you spent so long obsessed over, something that gave meaning to your life. Without realizing it, Natsu donned a sad expression, his negative emotions showing on his face.
Seeing Natsu's downtrodden expression, Mira thought that something bad really did happen between them just as she thought, so she didn't want to push him any further. Her resolve of "interrogating" Natsu gone, now replaced by her genuine concern for him.
"I'm sorry, Natsu, I shouldn't have asked. It's ok, you can go home now." Although it looked like Mira had a lot to say, she put Natsu's feeling above her own. She was ashamed at herself selfishness, for being so insensitive. Her curiosity got the better of her, and eventhough she already had a good feeling that she was gonna be touching a sensitive subject with Natsu, she still decided to poke her nose into his business for the sake of her own curiosity.
Seeing how concerned Mira was, he felt guilty. He felt guilty that he was causing his dear friend to worry about him because of something that he has no control over anymore. He desperately wanted to move on.
"…No, it's ok. I want you to know." Natsu decided to tell Mira everything, from how he "loved" Erza, to his heartbreak and Jellal, and his feelings right now. He finally accepted the fact that keeping this in and suffering by himself was not going to help him or anyone. He finally relinquished his pride of having absolute confidence in his emotions, and vented it all out - all the pain, all the anxiety, all the insecurity, all heartbreak, all the hopelessness, that he was bottling in all this time.
With each word he got out, he felt lighter and lighter, thinking to himself: 'I should have done this sooner'
Mira was also offering her own intakes on the matter, and by the time they knew it, they had forgotten about everything else and got themselves caught up in the moment, enjoying themselves. Natsu was ecstatic that he finally had someone he could talk to this about, and the freshness of the subject got Mira passionate about it as well.
Soon, they were chatting casually with one another, all the awkwardness and nervousness replaced by happiness. Just happiness, that was all that mattered as of this very moment.
And so under the glow of the full moon, two friends deepened their friendship like never before, Natsu feeling a familiar thumping in his heart.
'No way. It can't be, right?' he wondered confused about his own emotions so soon after he was able to resolve his previous dilemma. Thinking that it was impossible for him to have developed such strong emotions for Mira this fast, he shrugged it off. Telling himself that he was just enjoying this moment, he continued to listen to Mira give her own input.
If only he knew he was blushing.
Could this be a new romance ignited under the guise of simple friendship? Love sparks through the air again! Mwahahahahaha!
But seriously, yeah, I know I'm going a bit too fast, but I already told you guys that besides my zero experience with romance, my writing skills are mediocre-level at best. I just don't know how to write a good story that's consistent and covers all bases. I'm too one-track minded. So for those who want to write anything on this website, would you mind adopting this story? Eventhough it's just the second chapter, I already don't know if I'm good enough to push through with it. I don't know what I'm gonna do next after this, I got caught up in the moment writing these scenes with no regards for how it's gonna progress now. It's such a waste to get rid of this idea, so please, someone, I'm begging you! Onegashimazu!
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