Alvin and the Spearmunks
Mark thought the vertigo he got from the skyscrapers was bad, but standing next to the massive stone walls of a major city took the cake.
Outside of the Holy City of Olym, Mark and three other members of the Luikots Guild descended the colossal walls.
Who did Ranni want him to meet so badly? Mark couldn't get a proper read on them, but what he did extrapolate so far didn't inspire confidence.
Disfunctional was all he could say.
First and most glaring was Brutus the Apathetic. Yes, that was his full legal name—Mark checked.
He was a colossal man, standing a foot taller than Mark, with a filled-out, girthy frame, donning a professional outfit of a white dress shirt and tie with well-fitted black pants.
Brutus had an extremely kind and unserious face, bald and clean-shaven. A man of few words—probably not by choice. Upon their descent into the wilds, he had equipped armor over his professional attire.
It manifested from thin air, thin pieces of ash swirling, stretching, and manifesting into a thick and heavy set of steel plate armor, covering his entire body—other than his head.
Next in Excursion Squadron Five's oddball entourage was Nils.
He was a short man with an entire head of brown curly hair. The bushy afro covered the entirety of his upper face. He spent the carriage ride bickering with the final member as Brutus and Mark sat silently.
Nils wore tight leather armor, which Mark could only guess meant he was a melee rogue.
The last member, Jiri, was a tall and lanky woman who had short, light blonde hair—bangs covered her eyes similar to Nils. Jiri wore intricate black and grey layered robes.
Oddly, she was quite similar to Nils. Mark guessed the two were related, with the similarities and all.
Both siblings appeared petty and spiteful. Brutus and Mark had kept out of their small talk bickering during the two carriage rides it took to get to the actual Excursion.
Mark could only hope that Ranni had chosen them for a reason rather than just throwing the 'Bad Batch' at him as some twisted joke.
The elevator set down, they stepped off, and the government elevator operator immediately shot back up, trying to spend as little time outside the walls as possible.
Tranquil silence filled the wilds. Then it was quickly interrupted.
"I still can't fucking believe you gambled away our month's pay on Underground cock-fighting," Jiri scowled.
"Courageous Corchinski was undefeated! It was the safest goddamn bet of my life," Nils snapped back as his nose scrunched through his hair. "I'm telling you, they knew it was a safe bet and juiced the other chicken up beforehand."
'Will these people shut the fuck up? We could be attacked at any time and talking only expedites that!'
Mark tried to ignore their squabble as he trudged forward, with the Squad slowly following behind him.
"Maybe you're just a fucking idiot."
"Will you shut the fuck up woman? Always up my ass, I get it, I messed up. Is that what you—"
"Why should I stop if you never fucking learn you—"
This continued for some time. Mark stood in the front leading the pack, with Brutus in the back and the siblings in the middle.
They walked through a dense and lush forest. Nature had reclaimed Human structures outside the walls, and as such, a few cobble paths remained.
"So…" Mark timidly interupted, turning around to get a better look at his group. "What's everyone's level and role?"
"Wouldn't you like to fucking know, pretty boy?" Nils snapped. "Fucks sake. Not even out of the Academy yet and getting to boss us around because he's probably banging—"
"Yeah, I would like to know," Mark interrupted, the last of his willpower shattering. "That's why I asked. Are you guys the fucking diversity—"
WHOOSH.
Two swords appeared in Nils' hands—he dashed straight toward Mark with a mean streak.
'Uh…'
As Mark prepared to strike first with his Hidden Hand, Nils was immediately yanked back by the collar.
"Ack…!"
Jiri gripped Nils, tossing him backward into the embrace of Brutus, who firmly carried the small Nils in his arms.
"You piece of shit!" Nils flailed in the giant's tight grip. "Let me go, Brutus!"
"Brutus, don't let him go," Jiri ordered with a sigh.
"Of course," the giant nodded.
Nils continued to kick and scream before slowly tiring out. Now he silently glared with pure enmity.
'Like a cat understanding resistance is futile… any deity out there who can hear me, please save me.'
"Don't worry about him," Jiri reassured. "As for your question, all three of us are Apprentices…"
'So they're between Level 30 and 40? Pretty solid. That's around the standard for people leaving the Academy…'
"…I'm an Arcanist, Nils is a Swordsman, and Brutus is Brutus," Jiri continued.
"Good to know."
Leaves crunched underfoot as the Squadron navigated the mossy cobblestone roads on the outskirts of the Holy City. An abandoned town, now further consumed by foliage.
"So… what exactly are we looking for?" Jiri asked.
"A small stone church."
"What's in the church?"
"I was told this Excursion was supposed to be 'no questions asked.'"
"I'd be a fool to put my life on the line without knowing why," Jiri scoffed.
'How ironic.'
A self-deprecating laugh escaped his lips.
"What's so funny about that?"
"Nothing," Mark replied. "Laughing at something else."
Jiri clicked her teeth as she slowed her pace to be with the rest of the Squad. Nils had calmed down—he insisted to great lengths; she gave the order for Brutus to set him down.
Throughout the treeline, glimpses of old stone structures: wells, dilapidated houses, and roads peaked out of the overgrown vegetation.
It would've been a nice stroll through a surreal, post-apocalyptic wasteland had it not been for an eery silence.
No birds chirped. It was dead silent; nothing survived out here.
Nothing besides the eldritch horrors or mutated beasts transported from other worlds to scourge the Human domain.
Bushes rustled over the Squad's idle chatter.
"Freeze!" Brutus bellowed.
All four stood perfectly still, prepared for combat; Mark's eyes intensely scanning the area for further movement.
…
More silence.
Mark slowly outstretched the Hand.
WHOOSH.
In one swift motion, he uprooted the bush.
Three beaver-sized squirrel monsters appeared underneath. They scurried in every direction like frantic centipedes under a rock.
Two shot up the trunks of nearby trees, the last one running into another bush.
'Aren't those…'
"Watch out!"
CLANG.
Two blurs appeared in Mark's vision: a fat squirrel with a spear for a head and a skidding colossal giant.
A screech reverberated through the forest as the spearhead punched straight through Brutus' hand.
With his free hand, Brutus grabbed the squirrel by the scruff, tugging it free from his hand. Crimson blood squirted out of the remaining hole.
Brutus held the the flailing squirrel, his kind baby face bleeding with pure hatred.
"FUCK YOU SPEAR SQUIRREL!"
The giant spiked the squirrel nose-first into the cobblestone ground. The astounding force crumpled the beast like a beer can, leaving a thick pile of black beast blood on the stone ground.
It disappeared into a pile of thin ash as it entered death's embrace.
But the battle wasn't over—two more deadly squirrels sat in trees waiting to pounce.
'Shit, I need cover.
Mark bolted to the closest tree across the road from their last known position.
WHIZZ—CRASH.
Several bricks from a nearby structure fell to the ground, a shallow cloud of dust caused by a rocket of destruction.
One squirrel rocketed out from a tree like a bullet—though with poor aim.
It flew past Mark, stabbing into the side of a stone building, its chubby body wedged into a hole of its own doing.
As it attempted to wiggle out, Mark used the Hands to take hold of the squirrel's torso, pulling it out of the wall and into the air.
Gritting his teeth, Mark squeezed with all of his might.
Bones popped and cracked from a distance, black blood trickling out of the squirrel's extremities.
Eventually, he gripped nothing but ash, the squirrel popping out of existence.
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✩ Spear Squirrel Defeated!
New Items:
►Tier One Beast Remains (Pristine)
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