Chapter 18: Awakening Within

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After losing consciousness and all senses due to the system forcing him into the path of reincarnation, Bhairav naturally couldn't feel or see anything,

Despite his pseudo-death state, he felt like he was traveling the void instead.

In his current state, he was incapable of forming thoughts, but if he could, he would surely not give a damn to the system's enduring mystery.

What would change if he knew or not?

It just had to fulfill his wishes.

Although it only listened to two of them and he cursed at it a lot, he didn't mind it as long as he wouldn't have the system in his next life, just as he wanted.

Still, traversing the void, seeing nothing but sporadic stars along the long-winded path, would drive anyone crazy.

Fortunately, he didn't actually see it or perceive it with any of his senses, sparing him from perceiving time and space.

He just 'felt' it.

Unaware of anything except the void that he somehow 'felt,' attributing everything mysterious to the system or its creator, he endured what seemed an eternal emptiness.

…

Suddenly, he seemed to have collided with something before going dormant for at least a decade, or so he thought.

'At least it saves me from being a baby with memories…'

'Wait! I can think again?'

Finally, regaining his sense of self, he could think again but not for long as he didn't really have a brain, or even a body, to think.

His consciousness once again faded to the unknown, not knowing when he would wake up and have to live again.

…

While being in the void, surrounded by nothing but darkness, Bhairav hibernated with his memories replaying again and again as if a broken record was being played.

Yet they didn't seem to budge his spirit in the slightest as if nothing could bother him in his current state.

It would be torture for some to relive their life or just having to go through and contemplate about it.

Self-reflection was scary for most.

However, to him, it didn't have the slightest impact or appeal. He had already overcome such minor attempts to break his mental fortitude.

If Bhairav could, he would've sneered at such attempts since he had to deal with demons, humans and monsters with different abilities from unknown places.

He had no choice but to harden his resolve and accept his past as it was the best he could do.

Naturally, he had regrets but he came to terms with it and overcame all such walls to ascend as humanity's strongest force.

Not that it was glorious or anything, only the man himself knew the number of assassinations, conspiracies, honey traps, seductions, backstabbing by those once called friends, ploys in the guise of celebrations…

The list of what he suffered was endless yet the figure of his lover sacrificing herself to save his life was even clearer to his parents' figure.

It wasn't an excuse but he was just 10 around his parent's accident.

He was 30 when he died…

With the countless battles he fought, being covered in blood and more, his outlook on life itself changed, let alone the faces of his parents.

If not for having their pictures, he might've even forgotten their appearance.

…

Just like that, life continued for him in isolation and hibernation.

There were times when he felt a familiar energy around him but he didn't have a proper consciousness to dwell over it or find out the root cause.

In the end, he truly rested for a long time.

Today, he jolted awake, or rather his sealed memories were unsealed alongside his personality or individuality.

"Hmm…?"

Bhairav let out a sound as he was groggy right after waking up from his peaceful slumber.

Looking around, he found himself in a first person perspective, although he couldn't move or control anything.

As if he was watching a movie from someone's eyes, the life and memories of someone named Jash Ramille played out in front of him.

"What… is… this…?"

He wondered in intrigue, disinterested in the lackluster life of the young man. It held no appeal to him.

Nothing more than a mundane life of a boy getting pampered and loved by his family, happy times with friends, groaning, whining, tantrums etc etc.

The only remarkable thing was the memories didn't start from 3 years or so of his age but from the moment he was born, giving him access to even baby memories.

"This… feels… too… real…"

Given he could feel the sensory and even environmental cues alongside the emotions of Jash, Bhairav was quite confused.

Unfortunately, he lived through those 13 years of life, with the memories getting connected to his, without break.

'I see…'

That was all he needed to understand the current events.

He was reborn as Jash Ramille and lived a life he desired, but failed to achieve in his past life.

Ironically, he couldn't help but be pessimistic. After all, everything was fine for him too, till he was 10.

'Also, Solarnelle Empire, Arne, Ramille, Blake… it strangely feels familiar…'

'Awakeneing… Mana… This is going to be complicated…'

Bhairav didn't have to think about it for too long before realizing that mana and awakening were words only used in novels, alongside the familiar names.

'I am in some novel…'

However, he didn't know which one.

But did he need to?

'Don't most novels have the same trends…?'

He couldn't help but curse at the authors who kept repeating the same things, circling around the cliches and calling it unique.

He failed to notice when his thoughts grew clearer and more coherent, flowing without pause.

His attention once again got taken over by one of the memories that played in front of him.

It was the memory of a beautiful girl in Jash's room, where they conversed happily before they argued.

'So he is unawakened, huh? Good, good. That's good!'

If Bhairav could, he would definitely lighten his heart by cursing, given the insane difficulty he was forced to live with.

Yet he tried to find a silver lining within it. 'At least, it will allow me to do things my way!'

The rest of the memories weren't important enough for him to pay close attention, allowing him to connect the dots.

'The talent and age of the ones in my generation are monstrous. The protagonist and villain are definitely from this…'

'Hmm… given this layout… maybe an academy attack…? Assassinations…? Kidnapping…? Torture by demons…? Bad aptitude…? Cursed by some higher entity…?'

…

Without even realizing, Bhairav started to refer to Jash as 'me'.

Alongside his string of thoughts, he came up with some crazy theories regarding the new world he found himself in.

Yet he remained without control, acutely aware of the contrasting personalities within.

'Well, I wonder what he thinks…'

As Bhairav delved into his, or rather Jash's memories; Jash explored his new reality.

Ultimately, the decision to merge their personalities or vie for dominance, or choosing to harmoniously surrender, rested solely with the duo.

Essentially, they were born of the same soul but inhabited different worlds with unique circumstances.

But they remained distinct 'individuals', and no one would want to lose themself to the other.

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{A/N}

So, I am having problems with posting 2 chapters because I keep feeling they are inadequate or not edited enough. Can you tell if this chapter is good enough or needs improvement? I need that feedback to increase my chapter posting speed.