Ch 31 Fools Gambit

(three days later) 

King Aelle rode forward on his strong white horse while wearing gaudy Jewel encrusted Armor.

He wouldn't actually fight but marching alongside his newly formed army lifted their spirits and raised their morale which was much needed.

Shortly after King Aelle's men arrived to Newcastle haunting tales of Thenn the 'One Eyed Demon' who 'devoured souls' and 'Ate His enemies Alive' were quickly spread by a sly, big breasted maid Girl with short brown hair....for a few coppers of course.

For the sake of making bank Anna the Big Tiddy Maid dropped the Soldiers morale drastically.

Not that anyone knew it was a maid with a vivid imagination and love for money that made the soldiers have nightmares of the 'Demonic Monster' they'd soon face.

The King was only informed that his men feared to march against the Fearsome Heathen Warrior so he had to march alongside them and promised to pay silver coins to each soldier once the enemies were defeated.

"They are only half a hundred men." King Aelle had told them and they were reassured for the time being.

The Fat Bastard on his white horse looked at his army with a great sinister grin as they marched on....Three Hundred footmen, twenty archers and fifty horsemen....those Northmen would soon find out not to fuck with King Aelle.

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(Elsewhere)

I stood beside Tostig observing the preparations we had made on the battlefield.

I had a deep ditch dug at the treeline, it had no spikes or tricks to it.....just a ditch with a narrow bridge of logs to allow a cart to pass but no more....

It might be simple But it was what would win me the battle today apart from my tactics.

Cheval de Frise barricades we're erected strategically on the field and more larger wolf pits were dug to funnel the enemy where I wanted them.

Tostig leaned over and spoke so our men nearby couldn't hear. "Four Hundred of them coming....Thenn I think I will see Valhalla soon, just as I always wanted." He spoke with a happy smile.

*SLAP 

"ARGH...Don't slap my bald head you tall bastard!!! I taught you since you were a boy, for Odin's sake show me some respect." He groaned out angrily while clutching his reddened bald head.

"Don't say something so stupid Tostig....Today we do not die, today we become legends....the Skalds shall sing our praises until their throats bleed..." I spoke with a wide grin.

"Sounds like you've been hanging out with Floki too much..." He spoke with a sly smile and dodged the slap that instantly came flying toward his head.

"Not this time you giant Brute." He laughed and wandered off as his thick hauberk clinked with every step.

Then I heard the booming voice of my Gigantic Berserker. "BOSS DO I REALLY HAVE TO WEAR MY ARMOR ALL DAY....MY BALLS ARE TOO HOT IN MY CHAINMAIL..." He goraned out and my men nearby laughed out loud at the giant man's suffering.

"It will be worth it Balgrud....I sense a great battle upon us yet." I spoke and everyone nearby leaned in.

"Boss.... weren't we waiting for our payment though..." One man asked.

"Do you think the Gods will give us payment after defeating a few weak Saxon cunts....Stay in your armor and drink enough water, if I catch anyone drunk today I'll castrate them." I spoke and they all instinctively closed their legs 

I almost never punished or threatened them but when I first got my crew I had to set a few examples....

now when I give an order with a stated punishment they line up like well trained dogs, because they knew I really would geld them if they were caught drunk.

I moved over to where Ragnar and Rollo's group was, they had been gambling all morning.

As I walked I patted Floki's shoulder, he was seated only a a dozen feet from where the gambling was taking place and was carving something with his dagger.

"I won again!!!" Rollo shouted and snatched the four silver coins from the table, it was forbidden to gamble Gold on my raids after a certain incident.

When Rollo was celebrating Floki looked over angrily and spoke.

"Well done, Rolf....Your new God is giving you luck today..." He spoke down at Rollo and spat on the ground.

"What's wrong with you, Floki?...Why have you been acting like a stranger?" Rollo asked the half mad boatbuilder.

"Oh...hahaha....There's nothing wrong with me....hahaha....I did not renounce the Gods after all....hahahah...." He laughed but there was no joy in his voice.

The other Men nearby looked at Rollo with slight disgust...Floki was the godliest among us and his words were often heeded my the Men.

Immediately Rollo noticed this and defended himself.

"It was a joke!!!...I didn't believe it....I didn't even know what The Fat Old fool was saying..." He spoke with a serious tone.

"It does not matter if you understood Rolf!!! ...Surely, you've made them very angry with you...Your new God may grant you luck now but Thor and the Allfather shall snatch it away once we return to Norway...." 

Floki spat in anger and the few men near Rollo instinctively moved away from him to try and avoid Odin's Wrath.

"Don't be stupid Floki!!! The Gods know what is true in my heart!!!" Rollo yelled and stood from his seat.

"No....you are the stupid one to risk the wrath of the gods.....How will you ever get Odin

to forgive you now?" Floki spoke and the tension in the air could be split with a knife as Rollo's raging eyes stared at Floki who sat there carving away with his knife.

Then the tension was broken by a shout from Anguy who stood as lookout on the wall.

"THE GOLD IS HERE!!! COME LOOK!!!" HE Shouted out and immediately everyone moved to the edge of our defensive positions to look.

I saw a mule dragging a cart across the small wooden logs I'd set on the trench at the edge of the field.

Immediately three of my men ran forward but I yelled out.

"DID I SAY YOU COULD GO!!! GET YOUR SORRY ASSES BACK HERE BEFORE I MAKE YOU!!!"

I roared out and immediately they scurried back to their positions.

"Svarik, Go take the mule and lead it to us." I spoke to one of the Three men of Svens Bodyguards that still remained....At least he was good for this since he wasn't worth a damn in the shield wall.

Svarik nodded and ran off excitedly to check the cart.

The Man who led the mule cut it loose and rode it back across the wooden bridge when Svarik was only halfway across the field.

Soon enough Svarik reached the cart and climbed on the back and heaved one open as my men watched anxiously.

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(Nearby a few minutes ago) 

King Aelle waited patiently with his Army as they waited the report from his scout.

Soon enough the skinny ginger scout on foot ran back and heaved for breath.

The King tossed him his own wineskin and the young man drank deeply to quench his thirst.

"GO ON AND REPORT!!! OR DID YOU LOSE YOUR TONGUE FROM THE TRIP!!!" King Aelle roared and the man knelt down.

"My...King....they have dug a ditch leading to their camp, it is too wide and deep for our men to cross it but there is a small wooden bridge we can use." He spoke and the King nodded.

"Aye that's Good, we will just cross the ditch and reform on the other side, it's of no consequence anyway.....today is the day I feed that northman bastard to the pigs." King Aelle spoke and his commander nodded.

"Go on send the Cart, let us know when to charge through." The Commander yelled out to his assistant and soon the cart stacked with empty chests was sent forth.

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(Back To Reality)

"THEYRE ALL EMPTY!!!" Svarik yelled out while waving his hands.

Immediately a steady stream of horses charged across the small bridge in the distance and Svarik jumped off the cart and ran for his life.

He only made it a few yards before a lance was thrust into his back and out of his chest as my men all growled at the shameful sight....

Svarik didn't even have a weapon in hand, and he died fleeing.....it wasn't likely he'd be let into Odin's Great Hall.

I grabbed my Great Axe and yelled out.

"EVERYONE INTO FORMATION!!! SOUND THE HORNS!!!"

I Roared and Balgrud grabbed the large warhorn around his neck to wake up our archers who were hidden in their position on the edge of the field behind Barricades, they were probably asleep so the Horn blast would get them ready....the archers were only ten men but they'd have to be enough.

We all lined up into a solid shield wall and watched on as fifty horsemen rode across the bridge followed by twenty archers.

Then My mens eyes widened at the sight of a seemingly neverending horde of infantry that began to swarm across the narrow log bridge.

Hundreds of men against us numbering less than Sixty...I saw the vicious smiles on the faces of my men.

"FOUR HUNDRED AGAINST FIFTY SEVEN!!! BUT DONT GET YOUR HOPES UP!!! TODAY IS NOT THE DAY TO REACH VALHALLA!!! AFTER OUR VICTORY EVEN FENRIR WILL FEAR EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US AT RAGNAROK!!!" I Roared out and my warriors let out a fearsome warcry that seemed to make the air tremble.

""RAHHHHHHHHH!!!!"" 

""ODINS SON IS WITH US!!!"" 

""WE SHALL PREVAIL!!!!"" 

""EIGHT KILLS TO A MAN!!! ON A BAD DAY WE CAN MANAGE TWENTY AGAINST THESE SAXON CUNTS!!!!"" 

""RAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"" My warriors roared and we stood strong against the massing enemy formation.

We watched patiently as they filed across that narrow wooden bridge like so many ants....

After fifteen minutes all were across and an enemy warhorn sounded.

~~~~~~!!!!!!TOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!~~~~~~

After that twenty archers moved forward as we locked our shields tightly and awaited the onslaught of arrows.

They began falling on us as the constant thudding of arrows Resounded for ten minutes to no effect, most arrows were blown adrift by the favorable wind and those that landed only hit out thick wooden shields.

After that piss poor arrow barrage Three blasts of the enemy Horn Resounded and the archers pulled back, seems they were useless and the King didn't want to waste any more arrows to no effect.

After that the cavalry seemed eager to charge but King Aelle had heard of the pit traps so he ordered his infantry to move forward....

I could see the cavalry holding back so I decided to use myself as bait, I was certain that short tempered bastard would take the bait.

 I stepped forth with my Dane axe in hand and my large blood stained Bear Cloak over my shoulders as my armor glistened in the Midday Sun, my shield was strapped to my back just in case the Fat King called his archers again.

My men muttered out some words but I raised a hand. "STAY IN FORMATION....I SHALL NOT DIE TODAY." I ordered and none followed after me.

I walked ahead fifty feet and stood directly in front of the largest wolf trap....this one could fit more than a dozen horses easily.

King Aelle saw me away from my men and shouted at his horsemen.

"CHARGE AT THAT FUCKING BASTARD!!! WHOEVER KILLS HIM GETS A HUNDRED POUNDS OF GOLD!!!!"

He roared out and his horsemen foamed at the mouth to collect that bounty.

Immediately they urged their horses onwards as Aelle's commander watched in horror at the terrible mistake his King just made, a more obvious ruse could not be seen but the horses were already charging at the Giant Northman and correcting his short tempered King would be too great a risk to his health.

The thundering of hooves Resounded as every horseman rushed and whipped their horses faster and faster as their lances lowered....every single one of them already believed the gold was within their grasp.

By the time the first horses tumbled and fell into smaller wolftraps and were impaled by sharpened Spikes it was too late to stop.

The horses were at a full gallop as more and more cavalry began dissapearing into deadly holes.

The Haunting screams of dozens of dying horses filled the air as King Aelle snarled at the sight of losing half his cavalry within the first half hour of battle....but the other half still charged at the Northman so he closed his eyes and prayed to God they'd impale that bastard.

On the other side of the field I watched twenty horsemen charge at me with lowered lances before nearly all of them broke through the wolfpits camouflaged cover and onto the deadly spikes.

Horse and man were impaled the same as I raised my axe at the seven riders that made it around the trap to my position.

They had slowed their horses down to a canter to swerve around the large hole which was perfect for me.

I charged forward and swung my axe Agressively as the wicked blade cleaved through the Flesh, Bone, Armor, and Lance with impunity.

One man managed to land a stab to my chest but it didn't even manage to cut through my boiled leather armor let alone the chainmail hauberk underneath.

I responded by swinging at the man and cleaving his head from his body then swinging again and chopping his brown horse in half at the saddle as blood flowed like a river beneath me.

The entire exchange lasted less than a minute and now dismembered horses and riders lay all around me and the huge puddle of blood could easily be seen by both sides.

I reached down and picked up one severed head from the ground and rasied it high by it's bloody hair.

"WHO IS NEXT!!! I AM THENN ODINSON AND I SHALL REAP ALL OF YOUR LIVES!!!" I Roared out and my men let out a fearsome warcry....

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(To be continued)

(Split because I might sleep soon and this one is long enough to release for my more addicted readers.)