Manifesto of My Extraordinary Ordinary Tale

In the words of the late Paul Saperevisky, "I'm not a player, I am a gamer. Players get chicks; I get achievements."

Those words were mounted on a sign hanging above a desk in what could only be described as the Mess Pit. In any other circumstance, I would see this and think, 'What monster-drinking Kyle lives here? Does he punch holes in the walls for fun, maybe dabble in some questionable watching habits?'

The thing I refuse to acknowledge is that this is my room.

I suppose I should introduce myself before you get some twisted perspective.

Greetings, my name is Vykro Finaf, gaming extraordinaire and total Rico-Sauvé. This room is just my gaming oasis, if you would like I can show you to the rest of my mansion?

…

No?

Ok, suit yourself.

Ah! You wish to hear of my accolades, yes?

…

Oh! Why didn't you ask sooner?

*Twirls French mustachio*

My harrowing and fantastical tale begins a very long time ago, five years ago in fact.

To give you the setting, I was an orphan, turning 18 in a matter of days. I was thrilled to leave the orphanage and explore the great unknown. Living sheltered my entire life, led me to being very soft spoken, yet curious. I was a naive young lad fresh on the streets when I stumbled upon the art of gaming!

I had no preference: online, story, fighting, it did not matter! I dived in with a gusto unseen before! Quickly making a name for myself and amassing fortune. The name Conqueeftador was a name known far and wide. I had fans screaming to meet the Conqueeftador and Esports teams begging for me to join. Alas, the great Conqueeftador could not be legendary forever. Five years of hard work; of blood, sweat and tears could not prepare me for my final challenge.

The Real World!

My most hated enemy. In the games that I conqueefed, I could let the real world fall away and be something greater. For a time, I was. Money built and reputation arose, but I was an ignorant young man and unprepared to handle it all.

Impulsive spending and an unsightly injury caused my empire to shatter and now I'm stuck talking to a goddam mirror like it's a real person…

What have I become? I have become worse than those people who peak in high school!

I trudged through the trash of my room and sat in the gaming chair. Of course, what did I expect? The Conqueeftador may live on, but Vykro was already swept away.

I looked around the room with shame. My mansion was in fact, a one room apartment and it was littered with ramen cups and soda cans. The only clean thing in the Mess Pit (Don't judge. I'm quite proud of coming up with the name) is my bed, all nicely made. 23 years old and I'm stuck working as a cashier at a convenience store and can barely afford rent, let alone all those other things like insurance and the health care that I need for my arthritis. Turns out sitting at a desk for hours on end everyday isn't healthy. Who woulda known?

I suppose all I can be now is just a warning to future gaming stars. I shined too bright and disappeared too fast.

The thing that drew me into the gaming community initially was the broadness and bravery to try new things these creators had. I can't aptly describe truly what I mean with the vocabulary I amassed through consistently managing C's through high school, but the wide plethora of options to undertake is what aroused my attention. From there it was the competition that wrangled with my heart. (And maybe because I could earn money too, but that's neither here nor there.)

I picked up games like Weekday, To Honor and Shout of Obligation and would enroll in tournaments, making that moola. I was luckier than most when I stumbled across competitive gaming legend Paul Saperevisky, leader and creator of WET. The ultimate Esports team. He mentored me like a father… I mean I don't know how that feels, but I'd imagine it would've felt like that.

He humbled me on my rise to legend and I can say with certainty I would've never gone as high as I did without him. His death hit me hard, but it lit a fire in me as well. The following year would be one for the record books where I went on an unstoppable tear, winning the championship as a sub-in leader for WET. It was written in his will, and I was surprised with his confidence in me, but it seemed to be well founded. That was the year I peaked, 20 years old and at the time, I thought I had my whole life ahead of me and it would only ever continue to rise. How wrong I was.

I'm not sure if this is sad or disappointing, but the majority of my best moments only include gaming, of course there was the time I lost my virginity and the time I drank for the first time, but other than that it's mostly competitive gaming.

Oh! And my first playthrough of Groundedge, the greatest open world game of all time. Modder's still go crazy on it to this day. It wasn't until later that I began to appreciate single player and in particular, fantasy RPGs. There is one moment however, that has stuck with me the longest and does not include tech of any sort.

I was three (I have amazing memory, I know) and a family had come in looking to adopt. I am ashamed to say I acted all like a cute little puppy in hopes of getting the family I had always dreamed of, but imagine my shock when they screeched and fled in terror!

Apparently, I was pretty ugly as a baby, but not anymore! I was swimming in attraction a couple years ago, or maybe that was dollar signs in their eyes? ... Eh, who can say for certain?

I ran to the mirror once again and examined myself, honestly other than my black hair that almost looks dark blue, nothing jumps out. I think I'm pretty normal looking. Maybe a little anorexic due to my diet nowadays.

I shook the thoughts away and sat in front of my computer when my phone began ringing. I looked at it, and in horror, Paul's name was blinking back.

What kind of sick trick was this? He's been dead for 3 years…

I debated on letting it ring out, there's no way it could truly be him.

Could there?

Curiosity was eating away at me, and I finally accepted the call and brought the phone to my ear.

"Hello?"