Chapter 14 Here Comes My Pass

I wait I been praying that God would bring me out this bitterness. I got ready to go to the store I get a message from someone I haven't spoken too in five years. Mind you'll me an her have not been on best terms and now all of a sudden you miss me. Of course I fell back into that with her thinking she different.

Well she have changed a lot she don't want to do nothing but stay like she still in there and I can't live like that, So of course I got out before I get in too good. But then again I can't live the way she live I'm not going to drop my happy spirit to feel dull. So I left in just kept it as a friend in I love that cause she was by my side through my surgery in I love her for that.

But I had to leave because my mind is still on this one chick but I can't deal with that either. I ask God to remove all troubles out my life in he did just that. I started losing a lot of friends I don't talk to many as I used too. That cut off game is real I can't deal with drama no more or lier's either I just stay to myself in my house.

But when I went to have my surgery wasn't nobody by my side but three people and two that call me on the phone but it's only two that I talk to everyday because they call me or text me. But I can say my brother lyrical has been here from hospital visits surgeries and everything else.

He is the best brother I have in he's not even blood he is a long time friend that stood by my side without asking for nothing. But when I do get he got that's what kind of bond we have. So one day he finally meet my friend when I was in surgery they had talk with my mother.

We all had a good laugh or two before we left the place he put me in the house in I was out. But then I get a knock on the door it's my bestie she came in sat with me all day when she got off work. We clown and all sitting in this living room. The weeks go by I just stop calling and texting people for a reason. I had done received a message from somebody who don't even know me but I was told to watch myself.

I sat here thinking to myself what she mean by watch myself. I sat in thought about what she said it started making me think. It just kept playing in my head watch who you call your friends and watch who you talk to too. I'm looking like what is she trying to tell me. I have sat back in ask God to help me figure this out because I been having dreams of one of my so called friends talking about in downing me to other people.

I sat here I'm thinking who could she be talking about. I started falling back away from everybody to see who she talking about. The days go by my phone is like dry Ill probably get one or two calls or texts a day. Time goes on it's just been bothering my soul all day and all night barely getting any sleep cause my mind is going a hundred miles.

I get a ring at my door, so I get up in go look couldn't see nobody out the window. I open my door in there stands my sister I haven't talked to in about a year now. I look my niece jumps tt I miss you so much. I hugged my baby in told her I miss her too and my cousin was with the both of them. I let them in Hey to you too.

I spoked hey in turned around to go back into the kitchen to finish cooking. She followed me in the kitchen. We need to talk so we can get some understanding. We talked about everything. She showed me everything from inboxes on messager and everything. I sat there talking to her and reading everything I started thinking to myself like wtf. How can people say they your friends but talk just like the enemy it's self. I sat there we had a full conversation until we fell a sleep in the front living room.

It had me thinking about some shit like how can I sit here in defend a lot of these mother fuckers with everything I have in me against people who don't even like they ass. I stand up to my own people to say they not like this or that but they be dam right about they ass. I feel like this now I'm not defending no dam body no more if they got problems with each other tell that person you got the problem cause I'm not dealing with none of it. I can't hold on to nobody problems but my own. I ask God to help me through this mess in he did just that he help me delete people out my life they say when you pray to remove he do just that.

I am happy with the little I do have left but let that bull mess continue that cut off game gone be stronger then ever. All I have to do is ask God to remove in he will do it. But I thank God for my bruh and baby mama for some wisdom words in they try to keep me away from shit. She actually got me where I started getting all my business stuff together.

She came through one day in said invest it in something that's gone bring you more money in so you and yours can be good. She never ask me for nothing I have to force in give to her and she do me the same way but I love her for the push to get right before it's to late. She say we to old to be with drama in mess its time to invest your time into money.

I get to see my God baby in I love him to the moon and back an I'm gone always love all my babies equally. But as I learn everybody not who they say they are if it don't benefits them then they don't need you. I have learned who are my real friends and who only using me. But I never thought in all twenty-seven years of my life God would test my faith through sickness.

But like I pray to him the devil will not win none of his battles because the lord is my Shepard in he will keep me in his arms and wings and heart. I know the lord will see me through it no matter what I know he will never let me down I have strong faith on this road that's coming up cause baby I'm going under three in he gone cover me in his blood through all three I know my faith lays with him and nobody else I'm ready for this test.

Let's go God we on a mission to getting right with you and my faith stronger with you so I'm ready lets get this passage started. My question to the world is who is gone be my real ride or dies? don't need no fake I need some real passengers on this train. I know this train is covered in the blood of the lord. I just have one question who ready for this ride to success?