Chapter 1 -My way-

-TANYA POV-

it hasn't stopped raining so long, i'm still standing with my eyes in front. my mind had gone far away, as though the scene was taking place in the cap. again should feel silent when the rain never stops. i'm tired of having to remember you whenever the rain comes. i don't want to dwell on it, then i move from the place.

i ran from my place, to the parking lot across the street. i don't give a shit about the rain anyway, so the rainwater is pouring all over me.

***

the sky looked gray, for two days i just sat here in my apartment. thank god to the head office,he gave me two days off. since yesterday rain my body became weak and i got ill. i turned from the balcony,sat back at the table, sipping hot chocolate i had i'm shock when i got a lot of notification on my phone.

i iust said,knowing that what was lost would never return. and yet,to this day i still expect it. it's me who makes fun of my friends as a stupid women meanwhile i'm no diffrent than any of them now. but as soon as my phone ringing,i start answered my phone and started conversation with someone on the other side.

"hello?"

"..."

"yeah,it's almost done"

"..."

"maybe tomorrow i can send it to you sir"

"..."

"okay sir,good afternoon"

i breath heavily, i feel like going to bed for a long time. i want to get a hell out of here away from all that's depressing things.

***

-FLASHBACK VERSION-

-21 MAY 2010-

i'm still waiting for my husband to come home, eventhough it is been twelve o'clock at midnight. somehow i've been so sensitive to him lately, i know this isn't supposed to happend to me. we've been here for over a year anyway, honestly still hope he comes into my arms someday. just a little patience i think, i hoope he'll find out. the sound of rain still out there, my heart is getting restless lately. i feared something might happen to him, but i look the courage to call his number. it took so long until he answered the phone. "what time do you get home?" i asked him.

"tanya,why aren't you sleeping ? i'm not gonna coming home tonight, i just staying at antoni's home." he said.

i was stunned, my tongue feels so irritated i can't hold it much longer/ i'm tired of having to keep guessing b myself, tired of having to sow my own seed. the tightness in the heart grew, i hit my chest so hard rather than bracing myself. before long the tears came without permission, the emotions in this heart could not be helped.

i was frantic in my grief, and cold only weep with time. tonight i decide to let him go completly, and immediatly i realize that he will never come into my arms. i wept over my home life with eddgar that i couldn't possibly hope for any longer. i can't help but feel tht i've decide to run away from this house, this place, actually from edgar and leave him alone. i just put a pice of papper stating the divorce he'd already made for so long i quickly signed it left the letter and then burst into tears.

i packed all my things into the suitcase, then left the house away from edgar. soon i called dianne to tell her i couldn't hold on to our relationship anymore i mean my relationship with edgar. though i was holding on to this, sooner or laer edgar would still divorce me even though how hard i try to assuming this relationship is lost also i would have lost all hope for him too. i want to go back to my parent house but i can't explain wh i left home in the middle of the night and without edgar accompany me. that would be imppossible if i told them that edgar now staying in his lover house and actually he never trul love me all this time, i can't.

***

-AUTHOR POV-

edgar came home shortly after tanya called him, he was shock when see the darkness around the house and with be wilderes steps he flipped the switch the light one by one and going trhough room by room shouting at tana name.

"tan...tanya!, are you sleep" call edgar as he moves trhough the room, he searches all the remaining rooms and turns away from home.

"why is this here" edgar said quietl as he picked the divorce papers on his desk.

edgar was more surprised when the letter had tanya signature on it. his legs were limp before he fell where he was, this time he really regretted what he had done and why regrets were always too late. he took his phone and called her number but tanya didn't answered at all of edgar calls. edgar was worry if something might happend to tanya, wwhat the hell else was in the midle of the night where she was going right now.

"mom and dad, i have to ask them" thought edgar, he called tanya parent number right away.

"hello, whats happend edgar?" tanya mom asked. edgar is tying to come up eith a good excuuse and a words so hat tana mom doesn't get suspicious to them. "i'm sorry mom if i bother yo right now. was tanya there beacaue she said to me she was going to your home in today. is she still there mom?" edgar asked.

"what, but tanya hasn't been here long. edgar what happend?" tanya mom with an anxious tone. "nothing mom, everthing's fine. then i'll go find tanya first. sorry to bothere you mom." edgar said.

"it's okay ed, mom gonna try to call her and ask her to come back home soon. please keep her for mom edgar.' tanya mom said. edgar hung up the phone and stormed out of nowhere, he was busy calling all her friends but all in vain he began to remember their one only friend closest to tanya.

"dianne!" he called dianne number but dianne number was disconnected, he's running out of ways to worry about tanya out there. edgar exhausted, but there's nothing he can do to find out before it's too late. the thing that edgar regrets the most is that now he feels sorry for being too long awarre of his feelings, realizing that tanya worth being inside his lifed for all along.

-to be cntinued-