When instinct becomes reality

“I am not sick, I just felt sorry for nagging you.” He just nodded but his thought and feelings keep bugging him.

After they eat, they go to the counter and paid their meals. Since it is self-service.

Then they went to the park and rent a bicycle.

They ride one of them, Dean is driving while Rhianne’s hand is on his waist. She momentarily closed her eyes while her hair is dancing in the wind.

When they hear that their stomach is going at war they decided to eat the food prepared by Rhianne. It’s just a chicken sandwich with honey lemon juice and cucumber.

“Hmmmnnn…” This is one of the things that I can’t let go of when it comes to Rhianne. She makes delicious food a top-notch at that. He felt like crying. Then she looks at him again.

Thinking about it makes him feel like a jerk.

Each time passes, he felt guilty especially when she was incredibly nice.

He decided to have a cool off with Rhianne but never to break up with her.

Because that is something he can not do as long as he lives

He knows it is quite selfish to ask her to wait for him that he is asking too much. But he has to buy time and needs space to think.

He needs to plan an effective way, so his father will not ruin his relationship with her and win the favor of Aurora without pushing the wedding topic.

He is just wishing that Rhianne will understand.

“Dean, Dean!” The realization hits him when Rhianne calls his name.

“What?” He blink as he saw her worried look. I touch her forehead that’s already creating a few lines.

“Are you ok?”

“Yes.” There she is again, he is quite not used to Rhianne being timid, quiet, and obedient. Just why? of all the time that you decided to be like that. Why does it have to be now?

“What did you eat?” She smiled, presenting her beautiful white teeth.

“Same as yours.” He smiled sheepishly.

“Do you have a problem?” She asked.

“None.” He said quickly. Out of the blue, she hugged him, right in the middle of the park.

“What are you doing?” He whispered while his eyes are wandering, other people is already looking at them.

“Let me just hug you.” She whispered as if in pain. He felt her hug tighten. While his defense's weakened.

“Dean” She calls his name sweetly while his head is buried in her neck.

“Mnnn“ his arms reach her and hugged her tightly.

“You know I love you right?”

“Mnn” He nodded and felt the pang of guilt that spread in every inch of his body. That is the time she releases him and walks away. When she felt that he just stood still. She reaches his hand and pulls him towards the direction where the market is.

“Let’s buy souvenirs for my parents.” Rhianne moves away and a slight smile is visible on her face.

“Sure.” They take their time to buy souvenirs and thought about their father. However, he just stops thinking about it at all when it reminds him of what he will do after this date.

After they bought souvenirs they go back to the park and sit far away from the crowd who is gazing at the beautiful scenery below them. The City of lights.

“Rhianne.” He stared at Rhianne who is currently gazing at the city below.

“I think we have to cool off.” Her body is stiff, her emotion is blank. Her silence took forever as if thinking everything thoroughly.

“Rhianne, I just need time to-------” He can’t believe that his voice is trembling. He knows that he should be firm about it.

“Ok.” She said in a light tone and a calm voice. However, it felt like a large stone was thrown at him from above.

His eyes widened as shock flushed his face. His eyes wandered around her face but she looked down on the city below them without having any emotions at all.

After the shock subsided little needle spikes through his heart.

“Just like that?” So he thinks. However, he manages to talk again and explain.

“I just need time to think-----” Again he stopped as she held his hand and her eyes focus on his hand.

“You don’t have to explain this thing. I understand it.” Then she moved to hug him. He calmly closes his eye and inhaled again. He felt that a burden had just lifted thinking that everything will be alright.

Back to the present...

One teardrop on the floor and it follows another drop until I can’t count it anymore. Looking back I felt that “I am a jerk”.

There are a lot of “If’s” in his mind. What if he doesn’t bring up the cool-off thing, will she stay? or If I make her stay and be brave enough to stand up for her what would be the difference?.

As time pass by, he realized that it doesn’t matter because he has done it.

He made himself miserable.

A/N

Honestly, when I'm listening to the song "Empty space". I felt sad that I wanted to finish the story so really badly. It makes my mind work overtime.

But for this morning, I have to stop.

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