Volume 4: Uninvited Felis Catus

Jin turned away from Sect Leader Guanyu only to be faced with a blubbering Guilei being comforted by Longwei. When he walked up to them, they both immediately stiffened and fell silent.

He stared at Guilei for a long moment, brows slightly furrowed as if perplexed. Her masculine face was tear stained and her hair somewhat disheveled. She sniffled loudly but didn't dare use her sleeves to wipe away the snot.

After a bit, Jin turned to Longwei and patted the man on the shoulder, this time looking unmistakably sympathetic. Leaning forward, he whispered into the startled Longwei's ear so only he could hear, "When she hits you, just take the hit. Hm, en…. That's the best way."

He then straightened up, face perfectly blank, and took a step away from them before hopping back to stand next to his wife.

Once Jin was gone, Guilei hastily wiped the dribbling snot from her face and couldn't help asking Longwei, "What did he say?"

Longwei blinked several times before opening his mouth.

"That I should let you hit me?"

She was momentarily stunned silent before stuttering, "…w-why does he think I'm going to hit you?! I'd never do something like that!"

He shook his head and then paused. One side of his lip curved up slightly. "You did just beat up a Sect Leader."

"That weakling was a Sect Leader??" Guilei cast a skeptical look at the 'weakling' still surrounded by his Sect members.

"Beloved, Lotus Valley Sect is a Righteous Sect that specializes in medicine and arrays. They don't fight with their fists, if they ever fight at all. I'm sure if he knew you used to be the Turtle Clan's top fighter Ju Xi*, he'd have been more diplomatic in his wording."

[*Author's Note: Chinese for 'Monitor Lizard'.]

"…should've been diplomatic regardless…" She grumbled and then frowned slightly. "But even if I beat him, it was only a little, and it was to defend your honor. Just for that… surely the Emperor doesn't think I'm a brutish, violent woman?"

Longwei "pft!"ed at her 'only a little' comment before wrapping his arm around her shoulder and leaning in close until his breath tickled her ear.

"Well, rest assured, if you ever raise your fists on this husband of yours, he won't dodge. On the Emperor's orders. So please don't raise your fists against this little hubby, otherwise you'll crush him to dust."

"I said I won't hit you!" Guilei leaned away from him slightly, cheeks tinted pink, and scolded, "But keep flirting like that in the open and I might change my mind!"

He scooted closer, yellow snake-like eyes narrowing slightly from the grin playing across his face.

"It'd be worth the risk, yes?"

"You—!"

He laughed heartily as she pushed him away roughly in an attempt hide her shyness.

Why not laugh? Why not flirt? They'd been on the run for 6 months, never knowing if they'd live to see the next day. For the first time, they were safe with a place to call home. The relief made them both silly.

———

Mei Hua tilted her head at Jin's return.

"Did you give him some advice?"

"Hm?" A flash of surprise passed through Jin's eyes. "What makes you think I did?"

She blinked. Why did she think that? After a few seconds, she looked smug. "The Seal. I bet it's the Bloodstone Seal helping me! Was I right?"

Jin gave her a long stare, cleared his throat, and turned to Shuya.

"Are you almost done giving these gifts? It's getting late."

"..hey you… ignoring me…"

"Yes, I'm almost done, I just have—" Shuya turned to the people still floating in the air in front of them and snorted in exasperation.

The elderly gentleman, Old Ri, had managed to fall asleep somewhere in the middle of all the talking. His head was nodding off while his whole body was tilting at an odd angle.

Shuya pressed her lips together. "Can either of you do anything about him?"

Lady Cha just shrugged but the orange haired boy grinned cheekily. He zipped over and 'playfully' smacked Old Ri in the back of the knees, then quickly returned to his spot.

Old Ri jumped, blinking angrily awake. "Oy— who dares?!"

When no one responded, Old Ri turned to Goji with a knowing look in his eyes.

"It was you, wasn't it?!"

"Even if it was," Goji was spinning, now upside down, laughing at the elderly man's reaction. "Whatcha gonna do about it? Wanna fight?"

Old Ri stiffened, then smoothed his robe and acted dignified. "No. Leave me alone, you little troublemaker."

"Yes, yes, yes, nice of you to join us." Shuya interrupted them, hoping to prevent an argument. They'd be worthless if they started fighting. "We're down to you three."

"Finally." The elderly man tugged on his beard. "If I'd known it was going to take this long, I'd have taken a nap."

"You DID take a nap."

"Ahem. I was simply resting my eyes."

Shuya squinted her eyes at him before turning to Mei Hua.

"Mei Hua this last gift…" She struggled for a moment, "…was somewhat forced upon me. The upside is they did agree to my deal in the end, after a lot of negotiating on my part. They're good allies to have, quite powerful, but… they're just… how do I put this? They're just silly."

"This Lady isn't silly, she's a proper Lady of the highest pedigree!" Lady Cha instantly contradicted. Then pointed to her two companions. "These two, however, Lady Cha agrees are absolutely silly."

Shuya looked disbelieving while Goji chortled, rolling his eyes, and Old Ri gave a sarcastic sounding laugh.

Mei Hua frowned unhappily, "Shuya, you're not giving me more people are you? I don't need any more of this 'servant and master' thing."

"Ha!" Old Ri scoffed at her words. "Do we seem so desperate to need you as our Master?"

Lady Cha added, her voice tinted with arrogance. "We only serve the Goddess Li Shou. No matter how good you may be, you certainly can't compete with a goddess!"

Jin scowled at their disrespectful behavior but Mei Hua looked relieved.

"Oh, thank goodness! My apologies for making such an assumption."

"Oh, don't apologize! They're just boasting to make themselves feel better." Goji was now tilted perfectly horizontally, living up to his reputation of being a silly person. "We're retired you see, forcibly. Even our goddess just sits on the Jade Emperor's* lap now… how envious!"

Mei Hua's eyebrows squished together. Did she hear that right? Their goddess sits on the JADE EMPEROR'S lap?! And this boy found that appealing?!

[Author's Note: The Jade Emperor may be thought of as a Zeus-like figure within the Chinese pantheon of gods. Only much better behaved than Zeus… https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jade_Emperor ]

"…like I said, they're silly," Shuya sighed, feeling a little helpless. "They'd never let a human, well anyone in this world, be their Master so… hm… they've agreed to be more like… ah… associates? Helping out during emergencies."

Old Ri gave huffed. "Only in real emergencies though. Don't expect us to help you with problems you're capable of solving by yourselves."

"Indeed," Lady Cha nodded sagely. "It is for the young ones to struggle and grow, we must step aside and allow it."

"Aya, who are you fooling? You're both just lazy." Goji snickered.

"'Aya yourself," Old Ri snapped back. "You're no different!"

Goji laughed and then turned to Mei Hua. "Associates sounds too cold. It's more like friends, ya know? Just like how there aren't rules with friends, there aren't rules between us."

"I never agreed to being friends." Old Ri frowned.

"Associates are fine by this one, but friends… does she have the qualifications?" Lady Cha raised an eyebrow.

"…look at that lil' white fox though."

Old Ri and Lady Cha glanced at the fox Goji was pointing at. The fox stared back, a little startled at the sudden attention.

"See how she properly supports those little fox feet, gently strokes that fur just so… hm… look at that soft hand… think about a sunny day, a slight breeze, the sound of the birds in the background—"

"Ah, enough enough!" Old Ri waved his wrinkled hand, looking cross. "I'll consider it."

"I admit… she's got the basics down very well…" Lady Cha added, voice gravely serious.

"…what on earth are you three planning?" Jin asked, his eyebrows almost reaching his hairline.

Goji chuckled. "A good snuggle perhaps?"

"You dare touch my wife, you little pipsqueak—!" Jin's whole face instantly blackened, his hands raising threateningly.

Shuya hastily intervened, "Stop, stop, all of you. Goji, stop being misleading! Jin, don't take anything this guy says seriously."

Jin glared at Goji threateningly, the boy in question didn't seem perturbed at all and simply grinned back at him.

Mei Hua, however, was more curious rather than offended.

"Are you three… are you not human?" She asked.

Goji clapped his hands and pointed at her. "That's right! Wanna guess what we are?"

"…ah, they're not?" Jin looked surprised.

Mei Hua raised her eyebrows slightly. "You can't tell?"

Jin turned to look at them again and Goji grinned widely, eyes filled with mischief.

When Jin looked at them, he was a bit baffled. They had perfectly normal human bodies and, while their spirits were strong, they didn't appear to be that of an animal. If they weren't human, they were hiding it really well.

"Are you really not human?" He asked them, watching closely for deception.

Goji chuckled. "Really not."

He didn't appear to be lying either. This left Jin with three options: they were insane, they were able to hide their lies, or they were telling the truth and using a powerful disguise to fool him. The first one wasn't a problem, but those other two…

Jin gave Shuya an alarmed glance, "What did you bring into my mountains?"

The Tree Spirit gave a strained laugh.

"It's not like I had much of a choice. And I'm telling you, they're just silly. The more seriously you take them now, the more stupid you'll feel later."

"But he—"

"Even so, don't take him seriously."

Goji inched closer to Mei Hua, "So Lil' Mei—"

"Imperial Queen Consort, you barbarian!" Lady Cha scolded Goji.

"—yeah, yeah, whatever!" Goji rolled his eyes and continued, "What do you think we are?"

Mei Hua frowned slightly, brow furrowed, thinking hard.

"You all like to be pet."

"En."

"You have fur?"

"Sure do."

"…you all… are small enough to be held? Similar to this little fox?"

"En, en!"

"Everyone is the same kind of being?"

"Absolutely."

"You guys all like bright warm days?"

"Heh, we do!"

"…do you three like to bask in the sun specifically?"

"Most definitely."

"Do you all like to take naps?"

"Some more than others, but a good long nap is definitely the best way to pass the time."

"Hm… one is picky, one is cranky, one is carefree. Very different from each other, strong personalities… but all like the same kind of things… hm… something small, likes to be pet, loves to sleep, with a strong sense of self…"

She blinked and did a double-take.

"You… are you guys… cats?!"

Goji spread his limbs wide and laughed gleefully, "Well done!"

As he spoke, a puff of smoke surrounded all three of them and when it cleared, three cats were floating there instead.

One was an orange short-haired tabby with a bobbed tail and a playful expression his face. The other was a long-haired gray cat with white paws and a white mouth, sitting very properly with an aloof look on its face. The very last was a very ugly, old white cat with eyes like slits and long drooping whiskers.

The moment they transformed, Jin looked into them. Without a doubt they looked like cats through and through, even their spirits were cat shaped. Were they really cats, or pretending to be cats? Jin had no way of knowing and it bothered him immensely.

Goji, the bob-tailed orange tabby, jumped forward and into Mei Hua's available arm. He wrapped two paws around her neck and rubbed his fluffy face all over hers, his tickling whiskers causing her to laugh.

Jin immediately reached out and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck, pulling him off.

"Just because you look like a cat, don't think I'm letting you get away with that behavior."

Goji hung there, little paws dangling, and squinting his eyes in amusement.

"Look like? No, no, I definitely AM a cat! So why be jealous of a harmless feline such as myself?" He said, playfully raising a paw and poking Jin's nose. "We're not into cross-species love like you. We're just here for a nice sunny spot and some quality chin scratches."

"If you're really just cats," Jin didn't trust Goji at all. "How can you transform so thoroughly that I can't even tell what you are?"

Lady Cha, sitting very properly, blinked slowly. "Replying to Emperor, this Lady said earlier, we humble ones serve Goddess Li Shou. Unlike like the fox clan, who never saw their Fox Goddess, we humble ones were directly under our Goddess. We humble ones got many perks from being servants of such a benevolent Goddess."

"…more like work forced on us…" Old Ri muttered darkly.

Jin let Goji go in surprise, "You served directly under a Goddess?"

"Replying: yes."

"…an actual Goddess, not just strong cultivator?"

At his skepticism, Lady Cha hissed standing up with a curved back. "You doubt this Lady's Goddess to such an extent?! FINE."

She jumped straight up and as she did, her size grew.

And grew.

And grew.

Until her body towered over the trees and her face bloated out the moon. Two giant pale green eyes stared down at all of them. Several people in the crowd screamed from fight before going completely silent in fear.

"Does this Lady look like some Spirit Beast raised by a mortal?" Her voice rumbled through the air, shaking the ground and the trees.

Jin froze. The cat's spirit had enlarged with its size. It was as if it'd grown several times stronger, instantly. He could actually FEEL the weight of the cat's paws pressing on the mountain, even on the spirit within the mountain itself.

Shuya rolled her eyes and hopped up so she was near the face of the now giant feline. In her hand appeared a very thin stick, and on the very end of it was a large fluffy seed of some kind. She swayed it back and forth saying, "Lady Cha, look at this! Isn't it amazing!"

Lady Cha attention was immediately drawn to the flexible stick being waved back and forth. After several seconds of intense staring at the end of the stick, the previously lady-like cat let out several chirps of excitement.

With a loud "poof", 'Lady' Cha was back to her normal size. Without a moment wasted, she chased after the end of the stick, letting out little soft meows and eyes practically sparkling with delight.

Goji eyes grew wide as he followed along and with a "Me too, me too!" ran over to join Lady Cha. Both cats gleefully chased the end of the stick. Shuya skillfully waved the hastily-made cat toy to entice both cats to follow her, floating her body down slowly until she reached the ground. She then handed the stick to a random Tree Spirit in the crowd and instructed, "Keep playing with them".

When she finally made it back, Mei Hua was doubled over, clutching her stomach, hands pounding on Jin as she fought to breathe in between her laughter. Jin had his hands over his face, ignoring his wife's hysterical fit.

"So they're really just cats."

"They really are."

"That served a Goddess?"

"So they claim."

Jin had a lot of mixed feelings about these three. They were powerful and could do things he'd never seen anyone else do. Changing their forms so thoroughly even he couldn't see through it? Size change with a drastic increase in power? Even touching the core of the mountain! That was a disturbing ability just by itself. And yet…

He watched 'Lady' Cha and Goji chasing the cat toy with wild abandon. All of Lady Cha's previously formal and elegant behavior seemed like a joke now. She'd abandoned any dignity she may have had as a human and completely indulged in her cat instincts.

He found it incredibly hard to think of them as dangerous. Their natures really did seem to be like regular cats. As long as he knew their bottom line, which seemed to be that Goddess in 'Lady' Cha's case, they shouldn't cause any trouble.

And even if they did cause trouble… could he just treat them like disobedient cats? Maybe all he needed to do was throw some water at them if they misbehaved? Make a sudden, loud noise when they didn't expect it to give them a fright? That or toss a cucumber behind them for a laugh. When he thought of this, Jin's faced twitched from a desire to laugh.

"If you don't mind me asking," Mei Hua looked towards the only cat remaining and asked, "What made you decide to come here?"

Old Ri hadn't left to play, but his ear would twitch towards the other cats as if interested.

"The Heavenly Dao has changed the flow again… we go with that flow, and the flow took us here" He said nonchalantly with a yawn. "When the Heavenly Dao moves in a different direction, and it definitely will, we'll leave with it."

"Heavenly Dao… Do you mean the world is changing?" Mei Hua's eyebrows rose in alarm. "Isn't that… maybe… dangerous?"

The ugly old cat's eyes, which had seemed sealed shut, opened slightly to reveal two pure jade-like green eyes.

"Lady Queen, the world changes all the time. Cats used to rule the world with the Cat Goddess Li Shao* as their leader, but now we three are the only ones left that remember it. The gods used to walk these lands and life flourished at where their feet tread, but where are they now? But not all change is bad. If the world remained the same, where would you be? Where would humanity be?" His long white tail suddenly whipped back and forth behind him, ears twitching here and there. "So why worry? Why be anxious? Take a look at us. We neither mourn for the past nor worry for the future, and still we live happily."

Mei Hua blinked and bowed slightly. "I suppose that's true. Old Ri, thank you for imparting such wisdom."

"Think nothing of of it, I…" His ear twitched strongly and he suddenly jumped up, tail straight in the air and feet prancing, eyes round as saucers. "—arg, I can't, I can't take it anymore! Meeoooooorw!"

Before Mei Hua could ask what was wrong, he'd run down from the air, toward the other two cats who were still being played with by the Tree Spirit on the ground. He plowed through Goji and Lady Cha to get them out of the way, his ratty body jumping ecstatically towards the cat toy. As he played, he howled happily, "It's mine, mreow, mine, mine, mine! Mreooow!"

"…I guess no matter how smart they may be," Mei Hua observed as Old Ri did a arching jump in the air. "A cat really IS just a cat."

[Author's Note: In Chinese mythology, cats really did rule the world for a time. Just very very poorly, as one would expect…

http://www.playfulkitty.net/2014/01/27/cats-in-history-chinese-truth-and-mythology/

https://www.ancient.eu/article/466/cats-in-the-ancient-world/ ]