Chapter 6

The 5 of them bounce in through the door all exceptionally excited at the arrival of another bangtan baby and immediately go to look at her. "Wow, she is precious" says Hobi. "She looks like her Daddy" is Tae's take on her. Jimin looks at me and starts crying. "Aimee, she is so beautiful, well done" he says wiping away his tears. Jin doesn't say anything but goes and shakes Namjoon's hand. Jungkook stays looking at her for a little longer and then comes to my side. "Congratulations to you both" he says and leans down and kisses my cheek. I try not to flush red as I feel awkward around him now after the dream, and I think I get away with it as he walks over to Joonie to congratulate him also. I look around at them all hope that my little moment of awkwardness has gone unnoticed but Jimin smiles at me and shoots me a look I know all to well. The 'we will talk about that later face'.

Again we have gifts from them all, a little pair of Chanel booties from Jimin, a book of Korean fairy tales written in English from Hobi, a sweet little grey and white outfit from Jin, a baby book from Tae and a poem with a beautiful piece of artwork in a frame from JK. It's obvious that he has written this himself and done the artwork too. They may not be his words but it's certainly his handwriting. How sweet. Such a lovely personal touch.

The words are:

A tiny bit of heaven drifted down from above.

A handful of happiness, a heart full of love.

The mystery of life so sacred and sweet.

The giver of joy so deep and complete.

Precious and priceless so lovable too.

The worlds sweetest miracle baby, is you.

The artwork is of a sleeping baby curled up with a teddy bear drawn and coloured in pastels I think.

I thank them all for the gifts and have to excuse myself for a minute as I can feel the need for a pad change. Jangmi is just starting to wake so I ask Namjoon if he could please change her ready for feeding when I come back. He immediately scoops her up and takes her to the change table and the boys all eagerly watch him on Daddy duties, cooing and aaahing over her. As I reach the door I turn and catch Jungkook looking at me. I smile and he smiles back, but this time there is a look in his eyes I can't quite place.

It's got to be all in my head. Maybe it's just a look of amazement at how I have managed to birth a whole human, maybe it's pity as my life is going to change so much or it could be envy because this might be something he wants. Who knows. I sure as hell don't and I wonder if I ever will.

After I told Lori about the dream we sat there for a while trying to figure out if there was anything to it or if it was just one of those things. On the whole we think it was just a sex dream with no hidden meanings, but perhaps there is a 10% chance that it's my dark side wanting to act out and be naughty. Mine and Namjoon's sex life is amazing, he is passionate and willing to please me but we haven't experimented as much as I would have liked. In London he seemed more open to it, but then when I moved over it kind of fizzled out and we got into that usual couple sex rut. I should really talk to him about it. He needs to know what I am craving, I can't keep dreaming about Jimin and JK.

When I return back to the room Jangmi is in Jungkook's arms. He looks calm and totally in control with her. A soft lullaby leaves his lips and soothes her and he is rubbing her feet. She is clearly like me as that's what Lori used to do to me when I was anxious and what Yoongi did at the bed and breakfast in Essex that night after the sex club. I get comfortable on the bed and get ready to feed her. Jin, Hobi and Tae leave the room to give me some privacy, Jimin has seen it all before so stays and JK passes her to me but everts his eyes, or at least tries too. I see him look, and his tongue darts across his lips, but then he turns his back to me. Calm down Aimee, you cannot allow yourself to get worked up like this. You are about to feed your Daughter in the same room as your husband. Get it together.

After she is fed and winded she quickly falls back to sleep. All the boys come back in and say their goodbyes, and Joonie leaves too to take home the gifts, and to get some proper sleep in a bed. He will come back in the morning with fresh clothes for us both and the car seat and stuff for us to be able to travel to his parents after we are discharged. The hospital are happy with her feeding and the little routine she is in already and all my vitals are fine so it should be tomorrow afternoon we can leave.

I wave them all off and decide to sleep whilst she is because I am exhausted. I don't have a sex dream, this time I have a nightmare. A black hooded figure is leaning over me and clamps a hand over my mouth and puts a knife to my throat. I try to fight them but I have gone limp, I have no fight in me and no voice. I am trying to scream, trying to make any sound whatsoever but nothing comes. The being, entity or person speaks and says 'you have got to go' and then the knife plunges into my neck. I wake up startled, breathing heavy, it's dark and I can't seem to get my bearings. I am confused, dazed a little scared too. I lean over to check on Jangmi, maybe she can calm me. The crib is empty, she is not there. Where is my baby!?