Chapter 47: Balls
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Dohnaseek's face was priceless. Super strength really is awesome.
Naruto's eye twitched when he heard movement from the tree. He then watched as a sword of light cut through part of the branches, allowing Dohnaseek to burst out.
Naruto took great pleasure in seeing the fallen angel's current state though. Dohnaseek's clothes and skin was rife with cuts and scuffs from the branches.
His hat was also gone, his hair instead filled with twigs that made the man look comical.
"You little piece-of-shit devil," Dohnaseek roared out in anger.
Naruto didn't react though, instead smirking as he commented, "Looks like I'll be the one to walk away from here, huh Dohna-bitch?"
Dohnaseek growled at the insult, but couldn't refute the point. Naruto had the complete advantage. Dohnaseek was in rough shape, and Naruto's only injuries were those he had accrued before this fight.
Naruto was simply too much for Dohnaseek to handle. Naruto was far better at fighting among trees, and had many tricks up his sleeves that gave him a huge advantage in an indirect battle.
Straight combat also favored Naruto. Naruto was fast and skilled enough that Dohnaseek could only hit him if he used widespread light weapon attacks, but the weapons for such an attack were too weak to get past his defense.
Only if he condenses all that power in a single weapon can he damage Naruto, but he couldn't hit Naruto with only a single weapon.
It was a case of whether to hit but do no damage or not hit at all. All the while Naruto was damaging him with repeated attacks.
Dohnaseek really didn't know what to do till he saw a flash of color. A vicious smile immediately crossed his face. Morphing the light sword in his hand into a spear, he pulled his arm back and chucked it.
Naruto dodged the attack with contemptuous ease, but he then saw Dohnaseek's smirk. A heavy weight forming in his gut, Naruto spun to look at where the spear was headed. His heart skipped a beat at what he saw.
Asia. Their battle had wandered close to her hiding position, and she had tried moving away. Dohnaseek's attack wasn't headed for him, but Asia.
Ignoring the agony in his thigh, Naruto forced his body to move as fast as possible. No, even faster. He had to reach it in time. He had to.
Reaching out his hand desperately, Naruto gave a cry of victory as his hand managed to close around the very end of the spear.
The spear's trajectory came to a stop just a foot from Asia's head. The nun fell back onto her butt in shock at her near death, and Naruto let out a sigh of relief.
Until he coughed out blood. Eyes wide in pain and shock, Naruto lowered his head to see a blade emerging from the left side of his chest, right where his heart is. It had been a distraction. A way to provide an opportunity to strike.
"Looks like I'll be the one leaving, little devil," Dohnaseek whispered in satisfaction from behind Naruto.
Asia let out a horrified scream as she realized what had happened. Naruto's arm shook from where he was still holding onto the light spear. Naruto coughed up another glob of blood. Dohnaseek began to laugh at his victory.
Until Naruto spun the spear in his hand and stabbed it behind him.
Dohnaseek gave a pained grunt as his own weapon sank into his stomach. He then groaned out in anger, "H-How dare you?! My own…w-weapon."
"Even if you stab me through the heart…I won't let you take Asia," Naruto growled out, ignoring the blood welling up in his throat.
Dohnaseek stumbled back, the weapons being pulled out of their respective torsos. Gripping the spear tightly in his hand, Naruto felt as it started disappearing.
Dohnaseek wasn't going to let him use it again. Gritting his teeth, Naruto channeled his own magic into it. The previously bluish white spear turned a golden white as it came back with a vengeance.
Spinning around, Naruto thrust the light spear at Dohnaseek with all that remained of his rapidly fading strength.
Dohnaseek countered by doing the same with his own weapon. The two roared as they did one last exchange.
*Omake*
Rias paused as her hand touched the doorknob to the clubroom. Tilting her head, she listened as she heard Naruto's voice talking aloud with exaggerated emotions and moans.
"'Yes,' Tsuna cried out in ecstasy, feeling herself approaching another peak. She then added, 'Harder. Harder. I'm about to cum!' Hearing this, Jirya followed the demand. Using his powerful legs, he thrust into Tsuna's core with even more passion. The two felt themselves reach their climax. In unison, the two cried out their pleasure to the world."
Blushing slightly, Rias walked into the room in a panic. She immediately saw Naruto laying down on one of the couches, an orange book his hands. Hearing her entrance, Naruto looked up. He stared at her blankly before saying nonchalantly, "Sup, Rias-chan."
"What are you doing?" Rias demanded in embarrassment. What was her rook doing reading Icha Icha out loud in the clubroom while alone? She was not going to clean up any stains on those couches!
Rubbing the back of her head in embarrassment, Naruto told her sheepishly, "Uh, see. I had this thought. God has to be celibate and all that jazz, right? So he's clearly not had any hanky panky in a while. Being the good Samaritan I am, I decided to give him something to fantasize about. So I'm kind of reading him a particularly steamy scene from Icha Icha Journey."
Rias just stared with a gaping jaw. Was he insane?
Reading her thoughts, Naruto nodded before declaring proudly, "Yes, I am insane, but I'm also the only guy on earth with the balls necessary to troll god. So I'll accept being insane. Now, if that is all. I need to finish this scene. Oh, another great idea. Why don't you help me? You can moan along and stuff. Do the female voice. It will be amazing!"
Rias just stared as Naruto started to rave about this new idea. She just turned and walked out the room.
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