Two-Day Childhood

"I'M NOT YOUR DAD!" Gold's shout was heard by those present, causing everyone to stop and look towards his direction.

Everyone noticed the Roach Queen was actually tearing up at his declaration. A frown adorned her expression as her wide eyes held traces of tears on the side, oddly enough she sort of looked like a kicked puppy.

"Lord Gold, why is she referring to you as her father?" Lydia asked the question that was present in their groups minds. The last time they encountered the genetically mutated roach, she wasn't capable of speech.

"I'm not!" Gold immediately denied, seeing the looks his house-mates were giving him.

"Bull shit! You raised me!"

"Watch your language young lady!" He retorted on reflex for some reason.

"Do you two need a moment?" Yasaka asked the two who were arguing in the middle of a war.

""No!"" They both shouted while everyone just gave them a look.

"And I don't remember raising anyone! I am a single independent badass!" Gold stated with absolute conviction.

"Don't you have a date with Serafall in a few days?" The stray devil asked.

"Shush Viser!"

"Then let me refresh your memory!" The Roach Queen yelled before raising up what Gold recognized as one of Serafall's recording spells.

"Wait, let's not do anything drastic no-" Gold was cut off as the spell formation was crushed to reveal a giant screen

∞

The giant screen began to play the recording to Gold's horror.

"KUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA! I'VE DONE IT!" Gold laughed maniacally as he held up a glowing pill. The pill was glowing softly, if you listened closely you could hear demonic chanting for some reason.

"I've created the ultimate formula that would make acid trips seem tame in comparison!" He stated while inspecting his newly created drug that would get him high as fuck.

"The blunts and drinks haven't really been giving me that buzz lately, so this should solve that." He talked to himself out loud.

The screen showed Gold moving the pill to the counter-top before grinding it up into smaller pieces. "Hm, should I try smoking it or should I just inject it into me?"

He flipped a coin. It landed on tails.

"Injection it is." Grabbing a syringe, he magically mixed the drug with water and filled it up. An elder scroll appeared on screen, magical words were being infused with the contents.

Some of the audience flinched when he jammed it right into his vein.

"aaaAAAAAHHHHHHHH! AHAHAAHAHAHAHA!" Gold's voice began as a low moan that swiftly transformed into loud screaming, then into insane laughter.

Gold ended up knocking some things over when he tried to take some steps, only to trip and fall to the ground. "AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" His laughter turned back into screaming and twitching. His wide eyes kept flickering back and forth, on and off as if he was seeing some shit.

"See Kunou-chan, this is why drugs are bad." Yasaka lectured her daughter who nodded as she watched

"Lord Gold, perhaps we should consider getting you some help."

"Neigh." Jack nodded in agreement

"Perhaps an intervention is necessary?" Viser added

"I am not that bad!"

"You're frothing from the mouth." A random youkai pointed out as he was indeed frothing on the screen.

After a minute or two of this, Gold stood up slowly before breaking out in a fit of giggles. A peaceful smile adorned his visage. He wobbled around a bit before supporting himself with the counter-top.

"aauugggh" A weird noise came out of his mouth

"He can't even speak coherent words anymore." Another youkai shook his head.

"Ah!" Gold started pointing at something in the corner of the room. It was hard to see, but it looked like a dead roach.

Gold was seen stumbling over, his random spasms was noted and his twitching had lessened a great deal. He then tripped to the floor again before he could reach the corner. He truly looked like a complete drunkard.

Instead of getting up again, he raised his hand to show a soft blue glow emitting from his palm. In the corner, a similar blue glow that looked like a dot in the screen floated up. The tiny blue speck moved close to his face, his golden eyes flashed as he examined the tiny thing.

The screen zoomed in closer for people to see it as a tiny nymph. It was completely white and hadn't molted yet.

"Herro lil du-AAAHHH-de (Hello little dude)" Gold slurred out with a random scream and spasm mid-speech. "I'ma be ya new dadda(I'm gonna be your new dad)"

Gold stood up shakily, however his focus seemed to be much better than before. Despite his physical body's sluggish movements, he masterfully controlled the movements of the tiny nymph with his magical energy.

Raising his other hand, a small bucket of liquid floated over to him. Everyone watched in awe as magical formations lit up all around him, despite his current inebriated state he was capable of masterfully controlling his magic.

The crowd watched Gold go through multiple procedures and used a myriad of different spells that the crowd had never seen before. Gold's soft smile never left as the tiny white nymph continued to be magically enhanced and modified. Just as the Nymph was about to go through it's first molt, gold quickly dropped a tiny bit of serum from the bucket that was labelled 'Serum A'.

The tiny nymph had quickly gone through it's first molting perfectly. Then to everyone's surprise, it began molting again!

Gold remained in complete concentration despite being high out of his mind. The roach was growing much faster than what was normal. Gold would continue to repeat the process for the next 7 molts. People noticed each time the nymph successfully molted, it would grow larger and visibly emit more power.

"There ya go little one." Gold rubbed the roaches head. It was now the size of a human toddler with small muscular arms and legs protruding out from it.

It was truly a bizzarre sight, as it stood like a human despite being a roach. It chirped out a sound of happiness since it wasn't capable of speech.

"Ya know what you need? Ya need clothes!" Gold stated with a nod before putting a white shirt on the roach. It was an odd sight, a standing roach with a shirt covering it's body like a dress. It was also kind of cute, in a disgusting way.

The roach playfully ran around the workshop with incredible super-speed to display it's joy. The acid-tripping Gold smiled fondly at the sight.

True to his word of being a father, Gold continued to raise the roach for two days within that workshop. The time dilation within it made it so that one day in there equalled 6 hours outside.

This was undoubtedly the roaches most happiest memories.

However happiness doesn't last forever.

" AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" After two days, Gold randomly spasmed and screamed out for a good minute or two. The drugs had finally ran out.

The Roach who was now adult sized ran over to it's surrogate father in worry. Gold continued his odd spasms and twitches for a moment before falling unconscious.

Held in the muscular roaches arms, the crowd watched as Gold slowly opened his eyes. They were no longer glazed over, clarity visibly returned to them. Gold blinked for a moment as he stared at the giant roaches face.

"Daddy?" It was the only words that the giant roach was capable of speaking.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!" Then he promptly screamed out in terror before smacking the roach back and dashing out the room. The sound of the door getting barricaded could be heard.

"IT'S A FUCKING ROACH!" Gold's terrified voice could be heard through the door.

The scene ended with the giant roach sobbing within the room.

∞

The recording finally ended and turned back into a spell.

Gold didn't flinch when everyone turned their gazes towards him, but he was sweating bullets. So he stoicly turned around and walked back.

"Were leaving." He declared calmly

"Why won't you love me dad!? I'll be anything you want me to be!" The Roach Queen shouted out.

"I want you to be dead!" He immediately retorted which caused her to start crying as some roaches surrounded her to comfort.

"Hey! That's no way to speak to your child." Yasaka appeared next to him with a disapproving frown.

"She is not my kid!"

"You raised her!"

"I was high out of my mind! It was an accident!"

"Don't call your daughter an accident!" She finally smacked him over the head with her monstrous strength, causing him to crash face first into the ground.

His roommates didn't move to assist him as they believed he deserved it. Lydia stood by slightly conflicted but decided not to intervene. Jack felt a kinship with the Roach Queen as they were both technically raised by Gold, except Gold wasn't high out of his mind when he raised him.

"Come up here, child." Yasaka called out to the Roach Queen who was unable to decide if she should head up there to see her father or not considering how much he seemed to dislike her. Yasaka sighed before appearing next to the Roach Queen to bring her to face her father.

"Gah, that hurt." Gold groaned as the physical strength of an ultimate-class being hurt like hell. Unlike when he faced off against Serafall, he didn't have Rhongomyniad strengthening his body this time.

He jumped back when he Yasaka appeared with the Roach Queen all of a sudden.

"Now look her in the eyes and ask yourself if your actions have been acceptable or not." Yasaka sternly glared at him as Gold flinched a bit, but he remained silent and turned his gaze towards the roach girl.

The Roach Queen was nervously rubbing her chitin shelled hands as she kept her eyes down. Gold actually took a moment to look at her. Sure enough she had gone through a similar transformation as Jack. Her body was closer to a humanoid appearance now, and she was much more powerful than she should have originally been. He had many theories on the reason for these changes, but he would need to confirm it himself another time.

For now he looked closely at his supposed 'daughter'. She was a bit shorter than him at 5'5. Her eyes were like emeralds, the same as his original eye color before they changed to gold, then to gray after retiring.

The girl had curves and child-bearing hips, maybe because roaches breeded like crazy or something but she acted a bit too innocent for that. Her skin was a slightly darker shade than Jack's bronze skin, while her hair was completely snow white. The only roach-like things left on her was the chitin shell on her forearms and legs. Plus the two long strands of white hair on her head that replaced her antennae.

He looked down to the tattered white shirt that was barely concealing her skin anymore. It was the same large shirt he had given her when she was toddler-sized. Despite being high out of his mind, he actually didn't forget the time that he raised her. It was just his dislike of roaches was so strong that he didn't care.

"You kept the shirt." Gold stated calmly with an odd expression.

"It was the first thing you gave me." The girl's face turned even more nervous since he was actually talking to her with a soft voice.

"Hm." He let out a soft hum as he took slow steps forward.

She flinched when he extended his hand up, only to feel the familiar feeling of having her head rubbed like when she was a kid.

"The first thing I should have given you was a name. Let's call you Jade." Gold decided to continue with names that started with the letter 'J' like Jack.

"C-Can I hug you, dad?" Jade asked nervously. Gold visibly twitched and froze.

He looked around to see Yasaka glaring daggers into him. He felt that if he refused, she might rip off his head. "O-Ofcourse..." he hesitantly responded

It was a heartwarming scene, however Gold was screaming out with fear in his mind. He was still terrified of roaches, no matter how human-like she had become, she was still a roach. He breathed a sigh of relief when she finally let go.

"Come on, let's go get you some new clothes." He said as he signalled everyone that they were leaving.

However as he was about to leave, Gold felt a vice-like grip clamp down on his shoulder.

"Ara-ara, are you forgetting about the damages your child inflicted on Kyoto?" Yasaka had a terrifying fox-like smile on her face.

To his credit, Gold wasn't visibly panicked as he stared at Yasaka's smile. His voice however betrayed him as it showed his nervousness "Kids will be kids?" he wryly smiled.

"I don't think so." Her smile didn't change

"... Jack, take your sister shopping. The adults need to talk." He said out loud as he was being dragged towards the temple's meeting room by his shoulder.