Chapter 102: Shizun's Shizun

Shizun, pay attention to me.

That was the first thing Mo Ran had said when they first met in front of the Heaven-Piercing Tower.

At that time, Chu Wanning's eyes were closed. Mo Ran called to him, and his eyelashes fluttered open.

That was also the last thing Mo Ran had said when they parted for the last time at the Red Lotus Pavilion.

At that time, Chu Wanning's eyes were closed. Mo Ran called to him, but he never again lifted his head.

That one sentence drifted for half a lifetime, from the Heaven-Piercing Tower to the edge of the lotus pond, and finally settled into dust.

All those years of hate and love scattered, went cold.

Mo Ran finished the last jar of pear blossom wine and went down from the southern peak of Sisheng Peak toward the eve of his final day. The next day, the rebel army charged into Wushan Palace to find that Taxian-Jun, a calamity upon the world for the past ten years, had taken his own life at the age of thirty two.

By now, two lifetimes have gone by.

Mo Ran opened his eyes.

He had slept through the night under the flowering tree before the HeavenPiercing Tower and woke up dazed and lost, unable to tell when he was.

Absently, he murmured, "Shizun...pay attention to me…"   Only then did he remember that, in this lifetime as well, Chu Wanning was already gone.

In the past life, he had gotten used to every day being a bitter struggle, and Chu Wanning was the one who had walked with him til the very end; he didn't want to be a vile person again in this life, but Chu Wanning wouldn't be around to see that now.

Maybe even the heavens couldn't bear it, or perhaps it was simply fate—Chu Wanning had already grown beyond disgusted with him in the past life, and so in this one he had become the first to leave.

Mo Ran laid his arm across his eyes, holding back the tightness in his throat.

He heard Xue Zhengyong shouting frantically in the distance. His uncle was looking for him, yelling, "Ran-er——where are you? Ran-er!" Shi Mei was calling for him as well, "A-Ran, where are you… hurry and come out…" "Ran-er, come back and keep Yuheng company! Don't do anything stupid,

Ran-er!!" Keep Yuheng company…

Keep him company...

Mo Ran scrambled up from the ground and stumbled unsteadily toward the voices.

He can't collapse, he can't collapse——there are lots of things he still has to do, the person behind everything hasn't been found yet, not to mention the Heavenly Rift could happen again at any time. Sisheng Peak had suffered heavy losses in the catastrophe, and there were countless things needing to be taken care of… Xue Meng was already heartbroken from grief, so anguished he couldn't even get up. He can't also collapse.

So he endured it, forced himself to carry on.

He told himself, it doesn't hurt, it doesn't hurt.

It's not the first time he's been through Chu Wanning's death. It doesn't hurt.

It doesn't hurt…

But how could it not hurt!

Over three thousand steps, he had crawled, carrying him on his back, how could it not hurt…

Draining the very last bit of his spiritual energy, giving it all to him, how could it not hurt...

He had suffered the same injury, but for the sake of not burdening his disciple, he had put on a heartless expression and left by himself… how could it not hurt...

And in the past life, Chu Wanning had actually suffered the same injury as Shi Mei, it's just that he didn't say anything about it. He didn't say, and Mo Ran didn't know.

So he roared angrily at Chu Wanning, vented endless hatred on him, flipped to the ground those wontons that Chu Wanning, who hadn't even recovered from his own injuries yet, had worked so hard to make for him.

Chu Wanning had bent down in front of him, lowered his head, and then, one by one, picked them up and threw them away.

How…could it...not hurt…

How could it have not hurt!!!!

He had dug out Chu Wanning's heart! How could it have not hurt!!! How could it...

Mo Ran couldn't walk anymore. He stood in place for a long while, trying to suppress it, trying to calm down; his entire body trembled.

It hurts.

He buried his face in his hands, bit down on his lip, swallowed his sobs together with the blood.

A long, long while passed before he managed, just barely, to pull himself together.

He lifted his head, eyes red-rimmed, and drew in a deep breath. And then,

slowly, he walked down the steps.

He can't collapse.

"Uncle."   "Ran-er, where did you go? You worried me half to death! How am I gonna face Yuheng in the afterlife if something happens to you?" "It was my fault," Mo Ran said. "I'm okay now, sorry to have made Uncle worry." Xue Zhengyong shook his head, not quite sure what to say, and so only patted Mo Ran's shoulder. After a long moment, he said, "It's not your fault, it's not your fault, you're already so much stronger than Meng-er… sigh…"

Mo Ran asked in a hoarse voice, "Where's Xue Meng?"   "Sick. He has a high fever, just drank his medicine and went to sleep. He's inconsolable when awake, just crying all day… it's good that he's asleep," Xue Zhengyong looked exhausted. "The Heavenly Rift of the Infinite Hells caused a huge wave in the cultivation world. Even the upper cultivation world has began to send people to look into the matter. But the person behind it covered his tracks extremely well; Butterfly Town was practically levelled in the bloody battle,

leaving no clues to be found."   Hearing this, Mo Ran wasn't at all surprised. That person's abilities were clearly beyond what anyone, including himself, had expected.

Someone who could take Chu Wanning's life obviously wouldn't be careless enough to leave any traces.

"What do the upper cultivation realm people plan to do?" Xue Zhengyong replied, "They're holding a meeting at Spiritual Mountain with representatives from each sect to discuss the matter. I'm leaving for it tomorrow… but I'm worried about leaving when Meng-er is like this…" He was right—now that even the number one zongshi in the world Chu Wanning had lost his life in the incident at Butterfly Town, the upper cultivation world cannot simply sit by and watch anymore, however negligent they might be.

"Just who laid down the spells to open up the barrier?" "What is he after?" "What's his next move?" These questions circled in everyone's hearts like vultures. Everyone wanted to know the answers, but extensive investigations had yielded nothing, so there was no choice left but to cooperate.

Mo Ran said, "Uncle, don't worry, I'll help Aunt take care of things in the sect while you're gone." "That's good, that's good… aye… I really hate having to burden you." Xue Zhengyong left, and Xue Meng spent all day spacing out, so all the accumulated scrolls of paperwork and jobs fell to Mo Ran.

Mo Ran threw himself into the work, not daring to rest for even one moment,

because if he stops to rest, stops to think, then the anguish and regret will drag him down into the abyss and torture his broken soul. He wished that he could bury his head in the scrolls day and night so that he wouldn't have to contend with the endless torment and guilt in his heart.

When the Infinite Hells opened, Yin energy had flooded the mortal realm,

and all manners of fiends that had long been suppressed seized the opportunity to escape and wreck havoc across the land. These days, the letters of commission requesting aid from Sisheng Peak have practically piled up into a small mountain. Mo Ran busied himself taking care of it all, forgetting to sleep and skipping on meals, often heading into Loyalty Hall at the break of dawn and staying until late at night before going back to rest.

But even buried in the ocean of paperwork like this, he would still get pricked unawares by the fragments of Chu Wanning left behind.

"...Qingjiang region has been troubled as of late, and most of the eighty two families in Fengling Village are old and ailing, without any means of defense. We are fortunate to have a Holy Night Guardian golem made by your esteemed sect's elder to fend off the fiends for the time being, but it is not a long term solution, so we would like to request…"

A droplet of candle wax slid slowly down, and the wick crackled.

Mo Ran came to with a start; he had been spacing out at the letter for a long time, his finger smoothing over the words "Holy Night Guardian" over and over,

and the image in his mind was that of Chu Wanning in the Red Lotus Pavilion,

his hair pulled back in a ponytail, holding a sanding file in his mouth as he concentrates on oiling a golem.

Mo Ran let out a long exhale and pressed his fingers to his forehead,

rubbing lightly.

Suddenly, he heard someone knocking.

"Shi Mei?" Dressed in light, simple white robes, the beautiful young man walked in holding a tray and set it down next to Mo Ran's scrolls, then rolled up his sleeves and stirred the candlelight back into brightness, saying in a gentle voice, "A-Ran,

you've been working all day, have something to eat."   "...Alright." Mo Ran forced a smile and put down his scroll, kneading at the throbbing pain between his brows.

"I made a bowl of ginseng chicken soup and a couple plates of side dishes," Shi Mei set out the dishes and felt the temperature through the bowl. "Oh, good,

they're still warm."   While eating, Shi Mei noticed a loose strand of hair hanging before that handsome but tired-looking face, and reached out to tuck it back in for him.

"A-Ran." "Hm?" "That day… there was something you wanted to say to me?"   Mo Ran's mind was a jumbled mess, not quite catching on for a moment. He glanced at him and asked, "Which day?" "..." Shi Mei pursed his lips and lowered his gaze. "When the Heavenly Rift happened." "..."   "You said you were going to go help...help Shizun mend the Heavenly Rift,

and that there was something, that if you still felt like telling me when you came back, then…" He lowered his head, voice drifting off.

In the light of the candle, Shi Mei's delicate, snow-white ears seemed a little red.

Mo Ran stared for a long time, but couldn't force a single word out.

He knew, without a doubt, that he loved Shi Mei dearly. But right now, in this moment, he really wasn't in the mood, not even a little bit.

He was shameless and unmannerly, couldn't care less what others said, and knew nothing of things like morality and etiquette.

But that didn't mean he was heartless.

"Sorry," a long moment passed in silence before Mo Ran finally said in a soft voice. "I feel really down right now, and I… don't think now is the time for this, so, about that thing, I'll tell you some other time, okay?"   Shi Mei's head snapped up, his beautiful eyes startled.

Mo Ran forced out a chuckle and raised his hand, then hesitated for a moment before patting Shi Mei's head. "I'm kind of dumb, and there have been so many things to take care of lately, I… I don't know when I'll have a quiet moment to gather my thoughts. I don't want to be careless about it." Even the warmth of the candle couldn't conceal the gradual blanching of Shi Mei's face.

"Careless?" He paused, then suddenly smiled.

"A-Ran, it was life or death back then, I thought that what you were going to say at a time like that would've been something you've already given careful thought to." "I have," Mo Ran furrowed his brows. "I've thought about it for a long time,

and it's never changed, but…" "But?" "...But not right now." Mo Ran's hands clenched into fists in his sleeves.

"Not right now, Shi Mei. You don't know this, but that thing is very important, I don't want to rush it and tell you at such a miserable time, I…" "Young master!" A junior suddenly barged in unannounced, only to see that the one managing sect matters in Loyalty Hall was Mo Ran, and hurriedly lowered his head in a bow, saying, "Ah, Mo-gongzi."   Having been interrupted like this, the faint blush on Shi Mei's face faded away as he flicked his sleeves and sat back from where he was leaning forward,

taking on a mild, unassuming appearance.

Mo Ran looked up, not noticing this change in his demeanor. "What is it?"   "R-reporting in, there's an esteemed guest at the sect entrance."   "An esteemed guest?" Mo Ran repeated, "anyone of note from the ten great sects is at Spiritual Mountain right now, where's this esteemed guest from?"   The disciple seemed both scared and excited, face flushed and stammering incoherently for a while before finally managing to say, "I-it's Master Huaizui[4] of Wubei[5] Temple!!!!" "What?!" Even the ex-Emperor Taxian-Jun Mo Ran couldn't help abruptly getting to his feet, and Shi Mei was startled as well.

"Master Huaizui?" It was not for nothing that Mo Ran was so shocked—this Master Huaizui was practically a legend in the cultivation world.

This person had long ago achieved enlightenment and ought to have ascended. But when the great gates of the heavenly realm opened for him, he had pressed his palms together and said that he could not break with the mortal realm, could not let go of his lifelong obsession, and could not wash himself of past sins. In the end, the heavenly light disappeared, the lotus blossom wilted, and Master Huaizui ambled away from immortality in his worn-out monk robes,

monk staff tapping lightly against the ground.

After declining his chance to ascend and become an immortal, he went into seclusion at Wubei Temple to reflect, and a hundred years passed in the blink of an eye.

One hundred years hence, the cultivation world has only heard of his name without ever seeing his person, and the number of seniors still living who had met him could be counted on one hand.

In his past life, Mo Ran had turned the world upside down and still hadn't been able to meet with Master Huaizui. Huaizui had been far, far too old, and had passed away on a rainy spring day the year before Mo Ran climbed to the top of the human world; no one knew how old he was when he passed.

Unexpectedly, in this reborn life, Master Huaizui came calling on his own in a late night visit.

Countless thoughts flashed instantly through his mind—though he didn't yet know what exactly he came here for, Mo Ran immediately thought of those rumors about Master Huaizui.

Huaizui...Huaizui!

How could he have forgotten about Master Huaizui!

Last lifetime, when Shi Mei died, he didn't even know that there was such a sagely senior in the cultivation world due to his ignorance. It was only later, when he became emperor, that he learned from the reports of his subordinates that there actually existed a person in this world who could wield the "Rebirth" technique of the three forbidden techniques.

That person was Huaizui.

He had hurriedly sent people to Wubei Temple to request his presence, to call back Shi Mei's soul. But the people he sent returned with the news that the great master had already passed on, that he had missed his last chance to bring Shi Mei back.

But right now, this person of legend was still alive! He was still alive!!!!

How did he forget that! How could he forget?

Mo Ran's heart lurched, and he started trembling all over. A blaze glowed in his eyes as he shot to his feet and hastily said, "Hurry and invite the great master in!" And then, before the reporting disciple even had a chance to respond, Mo Ran changed his mind. "Actually, I'll go welcome him in myself." But before he took two steps, there was a sudden flash of yellow from the outside.

Neither the candle nor its flame moved.

There wasn't even a hint of a breeze.

No one had seen how he came in, not even Mo Ran's sharp eyes, yet a monk wearing a bamboo hat and worn-out monk robes was already standing imposingly inside Loyalty Hall.

He had moved like lightning and stopped right in front of Mo Ran, the sudden proximity a bit startling.

"This one is imposing so late at night, and shall not trouble Mo-shizhu[6] so." A deep, mellow voice drifted out from beneath the bamboo hat, startling both Mo Ran and Shi Mei.

How was this the voice of a hundred-year-old man?

Before he had any time to think, the monk took off his bamboo hat. In the candlelit hall, he looked to be about thirty years of age, with a clear appearance and a mild demeanor. His eyes were bright and sharp, but they were calm and clear rather than menacing, like the reflection of light in waters.

"...You are…" The monk put his palms together and bowed down low. "Amitabha[7], this humble monk is Huaizui."

No one had expected Master Huaizui, who was at least a hundred years old,

to look even younger than Xue Zhengyong. For a moment, there was only stunned silence.

But Mo Ran knew some things when it came to cultivation. Huaizui was someone who had rejected ascension and chose instead to stay in the mortal realm, and so was no different from an immortal other than that final step of shedding his mortal body and going through the heavenly trial[8]. He relaxed a little after reasoning through it like that, but couldn't look away from Huaizui.

Huaizui didn't wish to disturb any more people, so it was just the three of them sitting down in Loyalty Hall. Mo Ran served tea to the great master personally. Huaizui accepted and uttered his thanks, but did not drink, only setting the tea aside on the small sandalwood table and then slowly raising his head.

He was mellow and polite, but cut straight to the point:

"Mo-shizhu, pray forgive this humble monk's forwardness, but the reason for this humble monk's coming today is a past acquaintance."   Mo Ran's heartbeat sped up abruptly; his vision swam and his fingers dug into the edge of the table with such strength that he nearly crushed it.

He stared intently at Master Huaizui's face as words from his past life resurfaced in his mind once again like drifting flakes of snow—— "There is a rumor that there is someone who has successfully used the Rebirth Technique of the three forbidden techniques. But it's just a rumor, there's no way to know whether there's any truth to it…" "Where is this Master Huaizui? I'll pay any price to bring Shi Mei back!" "To answer Your Majesty, Huaizui...has already passed away, many years ago. He wrote nothing in all his life, and, regarding Rebirth, he said only that 'The changing of fate is in defiance of Heaven's will, its dangers immeasurable.' Other than that, he left behind nothing else…"   The words streamed past his ears.

"Master Huaizui had an unfathomable grasp of mortality and reincarnation."   "Rumor has it that he had dealings with the ghost realm. If he yet lived,

perhaps Mingjing-shixiong might be returned from the grave, but unfortunately,

sigh…"   "Master Huaizui was like a ghost lingering in the world of the living. Anything and everything involving the Yin and the Yang, he definitely had a hand in." Mo Ran drew in a deep breath, and was surprised to find that his voice trembled a little.

"Past acquaintance… past acquaintance…" He murmured, his gaze locking with Master Huaizui's clear eyes.

With his back covered in a sheen of sweat, Mo Ran asked in a voice so quiet it was barely audible, "Who is this past acquaintance?" The monk stood up slowly; in the dim candle light, there was no shadow beneath his feet.

The sleeves of his thin and simple yellow robe hung low. The robe was fairly worn out, but completely free of wrinkles and drifted lightly in the breeze like the flickering outline of a ghost. This great master was certainly impossible to read.

Mo Ran could practically hear the beating of his own heart. Subconsciously,

he stood up with Huaizui, and the two of them gazed at one another.

"Great Master." If there was a mirror in front of him right now, he would see the thread of hope that had appeared on his face unawares, and the pleading that followed in its wake. "Who… is this past acquaintance…" Was it him?

Was it him?

Huaizui lowered his lashes and sighed as he pressed his palms together.

"My disciple Chu Wanning perished seven days ago. Tonight is the night his soul is set to return. This humble monk cannot bear to send off one so young, and so came to Sisheng Peak to beg Mo-shizhu's pity, that he might return this old monk his disciple."      

Author's Notes:

Big white cat's talking corpse: [thanking jjwxc readers] Adorable Xue Meng: "...."

Adorable Xue Meng is gravely ill and unable to get up.

We resort to yanking Dog, currently in system meltdown, over: [thanking jjwxc readers]

[4] 怀罪 Huaizui--"Bearing Sins"

[5] 无悲 Wubei--"Without Sorrows"

[6] 施主 shizhu - benefactor (term used by a monk to address a layperson)

[7] 阿弥陀佛 "E mi tuo fo" - Amitabha Buddha, "merciful Buddha", greeting/prayer used by monks

[8] Upon cultivating to enlightenment, a cultivator must first shed their mortal vessel and undergo one or more heavenly trials, possibly among other requirements as well depending on the lore, before they can become an immortal.