CHAPTER 4

It's been a few months in a new place, and so far, I like everything. My colleagues are awesome. They helped me a lot in my work and also in showing places. Soon I felt at home only my parents were missing. I would call them every now and then to check on them. My friends are worried sick. It's my first time staying alone, and they are paranoid.

It's been three months, and something strange happened. I started dating. That too, a girl, and she is my colleague. I never thought I would be doing such a thing anytime soon, but here I am enjoying my dating life. Our few dates led us into bed, and I was a little hesitant. I had shared my past with Lilly, and her assurance was enough. I crossed that barrier too. Now, I can conclude myself as 'Bi.'

A new place, indeed, brings new changes within us. After a few months, Lilly and I broke up on good terms. We didn't have a spark between us, and we are good friends now. No hard feelings. I started to spread my wings. I wanted to feel how it feels with guys, especially, dating and also in bed.

After a few hook ups, it was good. That's all I could conclude, nothing more than that.

Nothing worked for the long term. I could endure anyone for two to three months, not more than that. Only with Lilly did I date for two months, and with a few, it only ended in days. I was not getting where I was going wrong in this dating thing. Most importantly, I am not able to forget my first time with Lucas. My first in everything. For obvious reasons, I hated everything that happened and changed part of my life.

It was the weekend, and I was practically dead on the bed. I was jolted awake when I heard banging on my door and a continuous doorbell sound. I was like, what the hell was happening? It's barely a bloody morning. I need some sleep. I threw my blanket, and while fuming, I made my way to the door to check who the hell it was.

I was shocked when I opened the door. It was my friends, and the anger on my face was replaced by excitement in no time. I was so happy. In one go, everyone hugged me and made their way inside the flat.

I was stunned for a few seconds when I saw Lucas with the group. I didn't expect Lucas's presence with them. Am I daydreaming? I couldn't help, and slightly pinch myself. We were staring at each other. After a few seconds, by brushing my shoulder harshly, he invited himself.

A jerk will always be a jerk.

My friends had a list of things to do. They started sharing the same, and I was strongly warned to fulfill the same. They were going to stay for seven days, and I had to apply for leave. The same day we spent in the flat drinking and partying. Mine and Lucas's eyes would clash, and I would always avert it. I don't want to deal with the past memories anymore. It's left unclear, and I want to leave the matter that way. Sticking and trying to find answers is bothersome. Maybe a few things were meant to be this way unresolved for our own sake.

I was staying in a 2-bedroom flat, and my uninvited friends were 8. It was past midnight, and I was not getting how to fit in them. They are bloody, my friends, and I should better know how they make themselves at home by throwing me out of my own bed. Damn. For another few days, I should forget about my bed. The couch is my companion. Thank God, at least they didn't throw me on the floor.

The next day, we made a plan for what to cover and left the flat. There was some tension between me and Lucas; there was always tension after that particular incident, but this time it was different. I was not able to put a finger on the same thing, but it was different.

After the incident, we barely spoke; that was the same till now. We avoided each other, and it was the same. Still, some tension was brewing between us.

We went side-seeing. I did my best to cover most of the places. Trying the local food and drinks. In the evening, we end up in a pub.

After entering, we ordered drinks and took our places. We were chatting when Lilly popped up and introduced herself as my ex. I desperately wanted to skip that part because my friends were not aware of my dating life. I thought after a few minutes she would leave, but she ended up inviting her friends too. Like hell, my friends would complain, and they started having fun.

It was past midnight. After bidding goodbye to Lilly and her friends, we made our way to my flat. We were exhausted, and sleep took over.

The next day was usual. After covering a few places, my friends suddenly demanded to go to a gay club. I was shocked by their sudden request, and my eye fell on Lucas for a few seconds, who looked unbothered by their request. I gave in and took them.

I met a few guys I dated before, and strangely, none of my friends questioned anything. At least, they were not even curious. I was taken aback by their behavior. We enjoyed ourselves until we were tired and got back to the apartment in a drunken state.

Things came to an end as their leaves were finished.

Today, everyone heading back. I was little sad, but I couldn't complain as I was the one who chose this path. My friends were at the door except Lucas, who was busy in the kitchen.

I hugged everyone one last time, I bid goodbye to my friends.

After closing the door, I was in the hall where Lucas was sipping his coffee. I was irritated by watching him. Still, I don't know what the hell he was doing over here, and he is too comfortable in my flat. "Are you not heading back?" "I have a conference to attend." "And." "And I am going to stay over here till then." "This is my flat. You need to seek permission for the same." "Ok, can I stay?" "No, go and stay in a hotel." "What? Why? We are best friends." "Don't use that bloody card. Get the hell out of my flat right now." I was fuming for many reasons. I thought I had successfully forgotten everything, but deep down, I am still seeking answers.

This is pathetic. One is acting aloof, and the other is stuck.