The Benevolent Lunatic

"I'm Hoooome!" Exclaiming in a dramatic manner I entered my humble abode and trotted to the fridge and pulled out a frozen pizza. "You really can't tell how precious the microwave is before losing it for 5 years," I murmured, watching the pizza slowly rotate inside. I didn't even wait for the Beep and opened the doors to take out a hot chicken-cheese pizza.

Hmm….five years.

Wait…when's my birthday? I wondered in mild annoyance as I took a slice. Well, it's not really that important in the long run. I honestly can't imagine myself celebrating my possibly 1000th birthday.

Is that why cultivators never have birthdays? They eat a pill, sit on their ass for a thousand years and come out as a hidden big dick energy beacon. Suddenly those wuxia novels make a lot of sense…except for how they stay sane for one billion years inside a glass prison their comrades trapped them in for some generic revenge plot development.

[Stop eating! You said you'd try to lose weight.]

"…Right." Let's push that plan to next week. I haven't eaten my home world's food in five years. It's not like I can get any fatter. Pretty sure this is the obesity limit in mangas.

[This is reality. Stop making excuses and drop that slice!]

"Tch. Let's just go back to my original body." I thought so, before laying down on the bed and closing my eyes, waiting for the once-forgotten physical fatigue to crash down on me.

_____________//_______________

"That was relaxing." Who knew fainting from exhaustion would feel so refreshing. Looking down, I saw a mess of black hair spread out like some ghost in a horror film. Mikasa was snuggly being spooned by me. Getting up I looked again to get a full view…just for the sake of it. Her nude figure sent some weird tingle through my body. The small fragile body had a strange charm to it. The barely visible ribs made her seem more sensual.

Don't.

[You know she can survive it right? She can heal. What's stopping you?]

My sanity?....I don't know, I'll just stop myself until I can't stop it any longer.

[Bottling up your emotions could bring out disastrous consequences] She chided in an expectant manner.

That's why I'm going to do everything else. I didn't even wait to hear her retort before throwing the blankets away and pulling her towards me. The cold air in our home, jolted her awake but couldn't shake off her disorientation.

"what's….wrong eren~" She sat up groggily, revealing her small hills.

I didn't bother to reply and pushed her head down with my left arm and lifted one of her legs up with the other. Diving down, I was met with a small clump of muscles, slowly getting wet upon getting exposed to my breath. I could hear Mikasa trying to tell me something but I had my priorities straight.

"I'm going to enjoy this."

"Mmmmphhh!!!!!"

What followed was me getting a wet face and a huge boner, while Mikasa was with her eyes rolled back with tear stains on her face. Her tongue was sticking out showing a deranged face. Perhaps I had teased her too much. I looked down to see a large puddle of liquid on the floor.

Is she supposed to squirt that much?

Meh.

I decided to take a bath and tried picking her up with me. Unfortunately, she was still sensitive so picking her up with four of my fingers in her cunt and four in her ass, resulted in something I could only describe as.....Yes.

______________//________________

"The church is slowly getting under our control." The busty lady I met back in the tavern, now my secretary reported to me as I skimmed through the reports.

"How many of my clones are priests?"

"I'm sorry, but we do not have this information yet. The clones are not very cooperative."

"Hmm? What did they do?"

"The agents we sent acted rude."

"Rude?"

"They didn't know the priests were your clones and assumed that with your backing, the priests would not be a threat."

"Who manages these agents?" The atmosphere got colder with a little pressure applied by me, and the busty lady started hyperventilating.

*Thud*

"F-f-forgive me. It was my shortsightedness. I should've recruited better people." Even the urgency in her voice came out as a hushed whisper due to her fear.

"Can someone like you even accomplish that?"

"Y-yes."

"Hmm…okay. I'll give you another chance."

"T-t-then…"

"But punishment should be delivered for failure nonetheless right?"

"....yes..."

Thump.

Thump.

Like a rigid machine, my heartbeat increased for the first time seeing this scene in front of me.

How long has it been since I felt this? What is 'this'?

Fear.

Fear for what?

The unknown.

Unknown what?

The person I will turn into, after doing this.

Is it worth it?

Yes.

The inner conundrum only lasted a second in the outside world.

"Let's have some fun shall we?"