9 The Powerless Asgardian

When Lucifer appeared again, he was somewhat in a desert and that the sky was dark already. He then saw a town in the distance and said, "So that must be New Mexico." He started to walk towards it while thinking, 'Mjolnir must be arriving tomorrow night. Or what is later tonight?'

Lucifer just shrugged his shoulders and continued walking towards the town. When he arrived, he noticed that it was really little and that there were few people inside the buildings. He started walking around the town to see the sites and thought, 'This looks like an old town from the old west movies.'

Remembering that he didn't have any money on him right now, Lucifer smiled and picked up a small rock that was in front of him and turned it into a hundred dollars. He then started picking up 9 other small rocks and turned them into money too and went inside a hotel.

When he was in front of the woman in the counter, he charmingly smiled and said, "Hello there. I'll be taking a room, please. I'll be only staying for two nights." The woman blushed hard at him and said, "Then you'll be in room 8, Sir." She then gave him a key and a paper and meekly turned away from him.

Lucifer then grabbed the key and the paper and smiled one last time at her and left. Seeing that the hotel only has 10 rooms on the ground floor, he soon saw room 8 and opened the door with the key he was given and entered. He noticed that the paper's contents were all about the girl's basic information.

He chuckled and crumpled the paper and threw it at the trash can that was in a corner in the bedroom. Lucifer then jumped on the bed and noticed that there was a TV in front of it.

Walking over to it, he noticed that there was an Xbox 360 below it. Smiling, Lucifer opened both of them and started to look through it. Seeing that there was only one game in it, he frowned and started to play the Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare.

Hearing a loud bang resounding bang in the distance, Lucifer thought, 'That must have been Mjolnir, how many hours have I been playing this bloody game?' Looking at the time, Lucifer saw that it was already midnight and went back to playing Call of Duty. Unknown to him, a day has already passed since he entered the room.

When sunlight came up, Lucifer turned off the console and went to the place where he thought Mjolnir was going to land. When he was exiting the front door, the desk lady thought, 'Where has he been? I didn't see him go out of his room yesterday and he doesn't seem to bring any food with him yesterday.'

When Lucifer arrived at the crater, he noticed that there were already people trying to get Mjolnir out of its place. He waited for a couple of hours and soon saw Shield Agents arriving to secure the area. He then recognized Agent Phil Coulson and walked towards him and wanted to say something but was interrupted by said person.

Phil said in his 'professional mode', "Sir, I would kindly like for you to evacuate the premises. We are securing the area and we don't want any unauthorized people in here." Lucifer just smiled at him and teasingly said, "Hello there Agent Phil Coulson. My name's Lucifer Morningstar and I think that I'm quite qualified to be here."

When Phil heard him say that his name was Lucifer Morningstar, he immediately saluted and said in a respectful tone, "Good afternoon General Lucifer, may I ask why you are here?" Lucifer replied, "I'm having a vacation from the wife. I spend my time with her 24/7 and I wanted a break. I then heard a loud bang coming from here last night and observed it for a few hours until you guys arrived."

Phil then let him in and the two discussed many things about the 'unknown object'. After a few minutes, someone arrived and Phil said, "Hello Agent Barton. Meet General Lucifer Morningstar, he was in New Mexico when the object crash-landed." Clint Barton gave a surprised look and respectfully said, "Greetings General Lucifer, I am Clint Barton and I was sent here by Nick Fury to help guard the extraterrestrial object."

Lucifer smiled at him and said, "Hello Clint. I'm here to help you guard the 'unknown object' for an indefinite amount of time." Phil and Clinton gave him a confused look and Phil asked, "Indefinite amount of time?" Lucifer cheerfully nodded and said, "Of course! I'll be here until the object is gone and its owner comes and takes it back."

Both of them then had a serious look on their faces when Lucifer said the word 'owner' and Clint asked, "You think this thing has an owner?" Lucifer then said in a carefree way, "Well it must have, how do you think it suddenly crashed down on Earth?"

Both of them then ran to the object to see if it was still there, and it was and sighed in relief. Lucifer laughed at them and said, "I think the owner will come for it in the night. You know, because the object came crashing down in the night?"

Phil then looked serious at his words and turned to an agent who was walking past them and said, "Tell Director Fury that we'll need more men in here tonight." The agent looked startled for a second but still nodded seriously at them and ran off.

Lucifer looked at the running agent in amusement and said, "Well someone has a bad start to his day. Well Phil, where do I stay for the night? I want to see the owner come here for his hammer back." Phil looked at him in confusion and said, "How do you know that the owner is a guy?"

Lucifer walked away and said in a teasing voice, "Because I'm Nigh-Omniscient and I almost know everything that's happening." Phil and Clint just watched as Lucifer was walking away and looked at each other with amusement in their faces.

Lucifer then walked inside a room and noticed that it was empty so he just sat on a chair and slept on the desk. After 3 hours, he heard a loud sound of someone getting beaten and he immediately stood up and excitedly said, "I hear someone getting hurt and I want to be there when all of the beatings are done!!"

Lucifer then teleported to what he felt a dozen of people are and immediately appeared behind all of them. He then saw that Thor was already here and was beating up all the agents that were coming at him and sadistically watched as Thor punched the lights out of an agent.

He then clenched his fist in excitement as he saw blood fly out of an agent's mouth and cruelly laughed. Lucifer noticed that Thor ignored him as Thor immediately ran towards the hammer and just shrugged it off. He just followed Thor at his own pace and when he arrived, he saw that Thor was trying to pull Mjolnir out of the 'pedestal' with all his might.

Seeing that Thor couldn't lift his own hammer, Lucifer laughed at his failure and watched as many agents dogpiled Thor. He noticed that Thor was giving in to the agents and let them catch him, he then followed all of them as they detained Thor and left him inside a room.

After Phil 'interrogated' Thor, Lucifer walked inside the room and saw Loki with Thor and cheerfully said, "Oh! It seems that Loki is also here with us! Nice to meet you Loki, my name is Lucifer Morningstar and I'm the Devil." Both the other people in the room looked at Lucifer in shock as he could see Loki and know his name while at it.

Loki looked at him in confusion and said, "Who are you human and how do you know of my name? And how can you see me for that matter?" Lucifer laughed at him in amusement and said, "I already told you my name and I am not a human. I can see you and know of your name due to my being Nigh-Omniscient and Omnipresent too."

Thor and Loki looked at each other before laughing at his words. Lucifer looked annoyed at them so he released some of his pressure that could suffocate any celestial beings. Seeing that Thor and Loki were already suffocating, he then stopped and waited for them to recuperate.

He then smiled cruelly at them and said, "You dare laugh at me? I can destroy the nine realms and recreate it if I so desire! You better watch what you say to me children or I won't hesitate in destroying you two. I'm here to give you a warning; Don't you dare provoke me."

Lucifer felt excitement as he saw their fearful looks and cheerfully said, "I'll be going now! You two be careful about your actions here on Earth, okay? Okay? Good. Goodbye, you two." Lucifer then walked out of the room and walked over to Phil and Clint.

He smiled at both of them and said, "Well boys, it seems that I'm going to go back to my hotel now. I still have to continue playing my game. I'm almost done with it now, I seem to be always dying in the middle or late in the game! It's infuriating, I'm almost ready to storm the company, Infinity Ward!"

Lucifer then walked away while Phil and Clint looked at each other and busted out laughing again. They couldn't believe that a General in the Air Force was playing a war game all about being in the army.

When Lucifer arrived in front of the front desk of his hotel, he looked at the desk lady and released his full 'charm' on her and said, "I want to stay for another night." The lady was left in a blushing mess and kept stuttering about the words 'yes', 'of course', and 'right away'.

Lucifer was confused on the part of right away and walked towards his room while waving at her. The woman was blushing with her face looking like a tomato and looked away from him and started to hide below the desk.

When Lucifer entered his room, he busted out laughing at her reaction. He then started the Xbox and turned on the TV for him to start playing Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare.

When he was finally finished with the game, he then saw that it was already morning and went out to the restaurants to eat as he missed the taste of foods. When he was walking down the street, he saw four weirdly dressed people walking towards him. Seeing them walk to him, Lucifer looked left, right, and towards his back and saw Thor and his company there.

He then watched as they reunited with Thor and after a few minutes of their reunion, he sensed an inanimate object crash down to the Earth with the use of the Bifrost. Lucifer looked at the object and saw that it was 'The Destroyer' and scoffed. He thought, 'This is "The Destroyer"? Bloody Hell is it weak! How dare it take on the title of "The Destroyer"!'

He then smiled at the thought of the 'Warrior Three and Lady Sif' get a beating from that thing and teleported to one of the roofs in the town and sat on the edge. When 'The Destroyer' was finally arriving, he saw that the four warriors were 'coolly' walking towards the robot-like 'Destroyer'.

Seeing them walking towards it in what they thought was cool, Lucifer laughed at them and anticipated the slaughter that was going to happen. He then saw the two of the men throw the biggest man in their group towards 'The Destroyer' and got backhanded when he got close.

Lucifer laughed at the fat one when he shouted: "For Asgard!" and laughed, even more, when he got backhanded. 'The Destroyer' then slowly walked towards the fat warrior and when it was in front of him, the woman pierced the 'The Destroyer' in the back of his neck.

Lucifer knew what their names were but tire of naming beings that will not impact his life whatsoever. 'The Destroyer' then turned its body 360 degrees and launched a beam at the woman. The woman then fell to the ground as she dodged the beam and ran towards the other warriors. But before she could get close to them, she was beamed by 'The Destroyer' and was thrown away.

Seeing them suffering, Lucifer laughed sadistically as he saw them keep getting trashed and saw Thor suddenly walking towards 'The Destroyer' in slow motion and thought, 'What in the Hell is he doing? Why can't you walk faster!? Bloody Hell!! Am I gonna watch him walk in slow motion for 5 minutes!?'

Unfortunately to Lucifer, Thor did walk in slow motion for 5 minutes. During those 5 minutes, Lucifer looked like he wanted to kill him already. He thought, 'I think I'm going to be uncivilized for the thing I'm going to do to him. Just because I'm going to slaughter a man in cold blood doesn't mean I'm going to be uncivilized, right? Right.'

But before he could even stand up and kill Thor, 'The Destroyer' already bitchslapped him away. Looking at Thor flying, Lucifer felt a deep sense of happiness flowing in him. As he saw 'The Destroyer' walk away, he then thought, 'Why in the Bloody Hell are you walking away?! I want you to beat up that child for wasting 5 minutes of my time just because he was trying to act cool!'

After a few minutes of drama, Mjolnir finally shot out of its previous spot and went towards Thor in speeds that a normal land vehicle can't catch up to. When Thor finally got his hands on Mjolnir, he suddenly got powerful and healed of his previous injuries.

Seeing Thor get powerful because of Mjolnir, Lucifer thought, 'What in the Bloody Hell!! Why does he always get flashy when he uses his powers?' Lucifer looked at Thor suddenly get the powers to control the weather and said, "Why in the Bloody Hell didn't he use that in Infinity War? Or even in Endgame for that matter?"

After Thor's fight with 'The Destroyer', Lucifer teleported out of New Mexico and went home. When he arrived in the bar, he saw Death looking at him as if she was expecting him. He then smiled at her and said, "Hello honey, I'm back! I've got so much to tell you about."

Seeing him act like that, Death just sighed and dragged him towards their bedroom to talk. When they arrived inside, Death looked at him seriously and said, "Lucy, if you ever leave me in the middle of us having sex, then I will forbid you to have sex with me for a million years."

Lucifer, whose face was pretty cheery earlier, turned pale and nervously said, "Honey, Death, we don't want any of that to happen don't we? We know you can't just cockblock me like that. I was really doing something important! I was talking to Nick Fury and watching over the Asgardian that got sent here for the past few days!"

Death looked at him with a raised eyebrow and said, "Oh? Do tell." Lucifer had some color come back to his face and happily told her what happened to him for the past few days. When he told her that he was going somewhere tomorrow night, he suddenly got a frown as a reply. He just smiled at her until she sighed and said that he should be back before midnight.

After their talk, Death seemed to be horny as she immediately attacked him. Lucifer happily replied to her with gusto and immediately removed his clothes and had sex with her until the next night.