The feeling of magic (1)

Days had gone by without an answer. Iris avoided going near the mage's tower as much as she could but not knowing how to proceed disrupted her everyday work. Although her days looked much like before, papers were left unattended in her study, meetings were postponed and even her food was left barely touched more times than she could count.

She wanted to discuss this news with someone, or at least share her thoughts. The fact that she had magic would turn many against her, that she was sure of. At the same time, she wanted to learn, to be of help like Ray said.

Iris thought many times to write to her father and ask him about her mother, about magic and about her ancestors. The stories the late duchess told her so many times never left her, and she would sometimes find comfort in them, thinking that her mother was watching over her.

What the duke knew or suspected about his wife; Iris had no idea. They seemed very much in love, always attending to one another so the thought that they had such big secrets between them was silly. Their talk after the wedding brought them a bit closer, but she was afraid that asking the duke such questions about his late wife would break their fragile bond again. So, no word was sent.

Mary and Daisy saw the subtle changes and one morning when they were preparing Iris for the day, they couldn't hold it in anymore.

"My lady," Mary began uncertainly while doing her hair, "is there something the matter?"

"We are worried about Your Grace. We didn't wish to disturb you but if there is a way to be of help…"

"Please, your grace, it would be a great pleasure if we can ease your troubles."

Iris looked surprised at their worried faces, not expecting their intervention. But there they were, offering the help she needed. She couldn't help but smile.

"There might be something…"

With only those words, her maids were only ears, eager to hear their lady's request.

"There is a choice upon me, but I dare not make it in haste. If I choose to ignore it, everything will be the same as usual, life will go on as it always has. If I choose not to, there are many uncertainties and possible dangers. Many might be outraged or against it but it's an exciting path, one with great benefits as well."

She paused and waited for them to ponder on her words. Mary was the one to speak first.

"If there weren't any risks, which choice would my lady take?"

"No risks? Then the second one most likely."

"The second one has benefits as well, right?" Asked Daisy. "Maybe the benefits will outgrow the dangers."

"I'm sorry if I speak out of line, my lady," Mary said with caution, "but it seems to me that if the preferred option is the second one then fear of the unknown is what stops your grace from choosing it."

She stopped and looked at Iris for confirmation. When the latter nodded, she continued.

"Like Daisy said, there is a possibility that the outcome will be mostly positive. And if the negative is rooted in how others respond to it, there is no need for them to know."

"But the truth will find a way to reveal itself."

"Your Grace is right, but I think it is very important when the truth is revealed as well. If others find out about the choice when my lady decides it, and not at an unfit moment, it gives an advantage. Don't you agree, Your Grace?"

The reasoning made Iris' heart jump with hope. Why didn't she think about it? Nobody had to know. At least not until she was ready and then she might be powerful enough to resist any danger.

The maids waited for her to think about it while they were finishing her hair. In the end she had someone to talk to, even if she expressed it so vaguely.

"You might be right, Mary. Giving out the information at the best time will give me an advantage," she smiled kindly at them. "Thank you for your words, you two."

Their faces relaxed, and they bowed at her. "It's our pleasure to help you, my lady."

She was lucky to have such loyal and bright maids, although still young. It loosened ethe tightness in her chest, but not entirely. Maybe someone older, more experienced could have another point of view.

"Where is Gilda? I haven't seen her that much lately."

"She is helping the handmaid to teach the newcomers," Daisy answered.

"The new girls? That's good, she worked the longest here…"

A knock at the door interrupted her and Mary went to check it.

"It's Sir Marco. He seeks my lady for an audience."

"Send him to my study, I'll be there shortly."

After examining herself in the mirror, pleased as always with the maids' work, she headed down to her study. There the knight was waiting for her besides the door. When he saw her, he bowed deeply.

"Greetings, Your Grace. Thank you for accepting my request, you honour me."

"I see your leg is alright now." She invited him inside, curious what he wanted.

"Yes, my lady, thanks to your help."

"I barely did anything, the mage did all the work."

"But my lady talked to him and convinced him to treat me. Meeting you that day saved not only my leg, but my life as well."

"Your life was never in danger, sir. And I just did what all responsible masters would do."

She felt he gave her more credit than necessary. The only thing she did was to almost force the knight to see Ray. The mage would have treated him even without her intervention.

"Nonetheless, your words saved my life, and I am now able to continue with my duty. Being a knight is everything to me and I was in despair because of my situation. Until your grace called for me that day and everything changed for the better after. I don't know how to repay your good deeds…"

"There is no need, sir. I am just glad to see you in such high spirits and expect you to work with double as much passion than before!"

Iris encouraged him, but the knight was still hesitating on something. Suddenly, he bent the knee in front of her and started speaking with confidence.

"I offer you my services, to protect and serve only my lady. I pledge my loyalty to you. Please accept them."

His words were still vibrating in the silent room when Iris realised what he was talking about. He wanted to be her personal knight. The request left her speechless. It took her a moment to gather her thoughts while Sir Marco was waiting on the floor.

"I'm surprised by your request, sir," she finally answered and saw him tensing with her every word. "But I am moved by your words. Rise Sir Marco! I accept your pledge!"

The knight rose, a wide smile on his face, which reassured her in some way. Little by little she started having her own people here. The thought eased her heart as well as her mind. Maybe the decision shouldn't be that hard to make.

After he took his leave, almost dancing on his way out, Iris started pounding on her magic again. The knight's leg didn't bother him at all now, all thanks to Ray's magic. The kind of magic she could also obtain if she chose to follow the mage's words. She already missed the way it electrified her body.

And maybe, just maybe, Benjamin would be glad to find out she is a mage, really to assist him in every problem. Then she might be able to be of more help to him, to finally be part of their group and make decisions with them. Rule this land as the lord's right hand. A fragile feeling sparked inside her and, at last, she made up her mind.

She called Mary to bring the mage to her. It didn't take long before hearing the knock at the door and Iris invited him in. Ray was panting, small watery drops on his forehead and, when he spoke, his words were blurred.

"You called?"

No greeting, no polite speech. Although he was a little stiff in the beginning, his words were always polite. It seemed that in the little time they interacted, especially their last meeting, he treated her like an equal, forgetting she was the lady of the castle. Iris almost laughed at his impatience and decided to not delay it anymore.

"I'll learn magic and you shall teach me."

His face lit up at those words.

"I knew you will accept. I sensed it in you."