Chapter 73

"Come on, Dad," Margaret said as she talked on her phone. "It's not that bad. I'm doing fine, aren't I? Just enough to get by... Yeah but... All that matters is that I pass, right? I'm not going to spend every waking minute studying. I want to have some fun every now and again... Dad, that's none of your business. Besides, I'm doing okay in my classes... I'm not some super genius, okay? Why can't you just accept that my current grade is acceptable?... Don't be unreasonable, okay? Look, I got to go, alright?... Yes, I do study but when I do it is up to me, okay? Alright, I got to go, bye." After hanging up, she let out an exasperated groan. "He just won't quit bugging me."

Continuing to walk across campus, Johan entered her view causing her to stop. 'Maybe I should wait till he's gone, but I've been meaning to talk to him. It's been a few days, after all.' Standing by the sidelines, she twiddles her fingers before walking towards him.

"Hey, Johan."

As if surprised Johan responded, "Hi, Margaret. How are you doing?"

"I'm doing well, but more importantly, how are you doing?"

"I'm okay. Had a lot to think about since that day. Sorry about leaving you like that and the way I acted. I was going through some emotional issues."

"I bet you were, but you seem to be yourself today. What happened during that time?"

"Well, if you must know, after you left I met someone at the train station nearby."

"Someone I know."

"Not particularly, but... it was a surprise to me. It was perfectly timed in fact, like we were destined to meet up."

"Really? Then what happened?"

"Their train just so happen to stop at the same time I was in the train station, but the doors closed before I could reach her. I had to drive all the way to another city that I wasn't familiar with. It was kind of amazing now that I think about it."

"So what happened when you arrived in this new city?"

"I went to the train station and thought I lost her forever, but like a miracle, she actually got off in that same terminal. I couldn't believe my luck, or so I thought because turns out that she got off expecting me to rescue her. She was heading to a far away place, one where I would never be able to reach her. I couldn't have been any happier at that moment."

"So let me get this straight. At the exact moment when you left our date, this girl you happen to know just so happen to be on a train that stopped at the exact time you were there. When the train continued its destination, you drove for miles to its next stop, to a place you've never been to, one she knew she had to get off because she trusted you were coming for her?"

"Sounds about right."

"Sounds too good to be true."

"But that's exactly what happened."

"You sure you're not telling me an excerpt from your latest novel?"

"It's the truth, but that's not a bad idea though. I'm already writing notes."

"You're something else, Johan. But I'm glad you're feeling better."

"I am. I very much am."

"But that doesn't explain the change, though. What did you do when you met this girl?"

"Oh... that. Well, let's just say that's between me and her."

"Oh, really..."

"Now put that smirk away. Don't go running wild with ideas."

"Johan, I told you, I know what makes a man smile. You met a girl who you drove all the way to an unknown place just to meet her. What do you expect me to believe? You both shook hands like good friends?"

"That is possible."

"Not even you would do that. After all, you left me alone in the rain to get a taxi."

"I said I was sorry."

"Yeah, and apology accepted because I'm happy that you found true love."

"Yes. True love. Still feels weird to me."

"Look, I don't know what really happened. I just find this story to be a bit exaggerated, but I do know that you made up with Lucy. Yeah, I don't know who she is, but when a man loves a woman, he'll do anything to get her back. I should know. Some guy took a flight and followed me all the way to Rome when I was vacationing there last year. Love drives you to do things you wouldn't normally consider."

"I heard that guy was a stalker."

"Oh... yeah... he kind of was, but it's the thought that counts."

Johan chuckled at this. "I guess you know more about this than I do. In that case, let me be candid. I didn't want to talk to you about this as I was thinking that you were still mad at me, but since we're in good spirits, I figured it's a good time right now. As you have guessed, that was Lucy who was on that train. Now that I think about it, it is such a strange story that I don't blame you for thinking it's fiction, but it really happened. I was at the lowest I'd ever been and she appeared before me in my time of need. I still can't believe that I drove my car to another city, hoping that I could reach her in time. Trains are faster than cars, however. I felt I didn't have a chance, but she had so much trust in me that she stepped off that train at some random stop because she believed in me. I was so happy that I hugged her tightly." He took a deep breath. "She then kissed me... and I kissed her back. At the time, I wasn't thinking straight, my emotions took over, and now that I think about it, I don't know if I did the right thing in returning that kiss."

"Because you're not allowed right?"

"Yeah."

"Are you ever planning on telling me why you can't be with her?"

"I tried telling Wendy but I just couldn't, so what chance do I have telling you? I've accepted that I can't tell anyone about this. I'm skating on thin ice by simply telling you this."

"I can't understand a situation where you can't tell me that you can't be with a girl. That is if... you know... the secret lies within you, not her."

"What does that mean?"

"Oh, you know. How you reject women so easily, yet you seem to be chummy with men."

Johan groaned, "Will you ever stop thinking that way about me?"

"I'm sorry but I only have our date as a reference. Men can hardly keep their hands off of me. You, I was struggling to hold your hand."

"I was being a gentleman."

"A bit too 'gentle' for my taste." Margaret chuckled.

"But I'm serious, Margaret. I'm in a bit of a pinch because I have to make a decision now. I had confessed my love for her on that station and now I got to follow it up with a decision. Do I follow through with my feelings and reciprocate them, or must I rescind them and remain friends? I don't know what to tell her."

"Can you at least tell me the consequences of each?"

"If I accept her feelings, I'm responsible for not just mine but hers. I can hardly control my feelings, let alone that of a girl. I'm thinking if I tell her I want to be her boyfriend, I wouldn't know how to handle it and may end up hurting her later on. There's also the stigma about dating her. If people find out, it's over for both of us. We'll be back to being burned at the stake."

"Whoa, really? That's a bit much."

"As for just being friends, that should technically be the right thing to do, but you know what? I've had enough of that. Doing the right thing only caused me anguish. We both have strong feelings for each other. This makes it so difficult to just be friends. I truly, really, am in love with her and I'm at a point where I've had enough of people's judgmental ways. If anything, it just draws me closer to her. Maybe someday I'll even enjoy seeing them livid." Johan puts his hand on his mouth before slowly lowering it. "I guess those were my real feelings coming out."

"My, oh my. Johan, you're really growing up now. About time."

"Are you just going to make fun of me?"

"Okay, fine. Then let me tell you what I think. First, as I kept telling you, you should forget about what everyone else thinks. I don't know who this Lucy is, and frankly, I may not want to know, but I know that if you really do love her, then it's nobody's business. After all, if we kept on worrying about what other people think, we wouldn't have the guts to fight off oppression, and progressiveness wouldn't exist. Equal rights came from disrupting the system, right? Fight for your love, Johan."

Johan straightened out his tie, "I don't think this applies to that, Margaret."

"Okay, I'm exaggerating, but my point is, people bringing you down isn't helping you or anyone else. It's just their egos doing all the thinking without reasoning. And as for making a decision on whether you should be with her or not... well... if you really are struggling to make a decision, and this is a complicated matter that will change everything, I guess all I can say is to listen to your heart."

"You mean, turn off my brain and listen to my heart?"

"Like you did earlier."

"Really? I never thought that was the reason."

"I think this is a matter of just doing what you think is right. Just forget about the world for a moment. Just forget about school, forget about me, Wendy, even Lucy, and especially your brain. Just listen to yourself for once. I bet you haven't even considered your own personal feelings in this. You seem like the kind of guy who thinks of others before yourself, but this is a situation that is impacting you more so than any other person, yet you put aside your own feelings on a whim. I mean, you said earlier that she kissed you, and then you kissed her. Why the guilt? That's normal. It's normal for two people in love to kiss."

"I'm certain most people would agree with me more than you in this matter."

Margaret rolled her eyes. "There you go again, blaming yourself, putting yourself in a time-out, turning on that brain of yours. Just clear your mind and ask yourself, what is it that you really want?"

"What I want?"

"You ever thought about what you really want, or have you just been thinking about what everyone else wants? It's okay to be selfish at times. Think about yourself and what you want out of life. Then the answer will come."

They eventually reached the parking lot where they approached their cars. Upon entering her car and starting its engine, "Be a man, Johan. At least for once in your life, be a man. I told you this, didn't I? Keep going and stop worrying so much. Turn off that brain on occasion and just do what you need to do." She closed the door and pulled out of the parking spot.

As she exited the campus, with a big smile on her face, "You can't fool me, Johan. I know who you really are."