Master Roshi (102)

"That was a really big river," Goku said as Bulma's Capsule Boat reached the sand.

"It's not a river! It's a sea, you idiot!" Oolong scolded.

"What's a sea?" Goku questioned innocently.

"Ah! I don't have time for this," Oolong said tiredly.

Pansy jumped off the boat and ran onto the beach, calling out at the old man who patiently waited at the steps of the building.

"Hello there sir! Are you Master Roshi?" Pansy said desperately.

Goku, Bulma and Oolong also came off the boat, looking at the tiny island they were on.

The island was a very small place, not being any more than 50 square metres and in the centre of it was a very distinctive house. It had light-pink walls and a dark red roof with the letters "Kame House" painted by the sides.

A short frail-looking old man walking forward, supported by a long purple cane. The old man was completely bald and had a pure white beard but despite this, he had no wrinkles. He wore a long Hawaiian shirt and small white shorts that allowed his toothpick-like legs to be seen. He also sported thick solid-black sunglasses.

He stumbled forward and plopped the end of his cane in Goku's mouth.

"You think you can kill me and steal my shell but I assure you it's not that easy," he said, revealing a few of his remaining teeth.

"I know all about your plot because I was warned, I'm not as feeble an opponent as I may seem!" he said softly.

"What? It's not like that at all! We need you to help liberate my people from the evil King Gerumes! I swear! Honest!" Pansy shouted passionately.

Master Roshi looked confused for a second before turning back to look at his house.

"Did you hear that?" he said, seemingly to nobody.

"I think he has a few screws loose," Oolong said, whispering to Bulma.

Bulma's face fell, this kind of person didn't seem to have the aura of a 'Martial Arts Master' at all.

Yamcha gritted his teeth, unsure of what to do.

He realised he hadn't thought this through at all.

"D-Don't believe them! They'd say anything to get your shell! Especially that one!" he said, pointing at Goku.

"Hey! Your that guy from earlier...lamb chop right?"

"My name isn't lamb chop!" Yamcha shouted.

'That's the hottie from earlier!' Bulma realised, confidently walking up to him.

'Haaaa!'

Yamcha braced as he saw Bulma walk towards him, his eyes fixed on her lush and bouncy hair.

It took everything Yamcha had to not immediately run away.

Bulma stopped right in front of him.

"Hey," she said softly, trying to see his interest in her.

Yamcha's face quickly tomato'd, Bulma's voice pushing all of his buttons without mercy.

Without restraint he fled back towards Kame House, hiding behind it trying to regain his breath.

Bulma chuckled to herself.

'Either he's really shy or I'm just that hot,' she thought, feeling herself a little bit.

Master Rohi watched the whole exchange slightly befuddled.

"Well there is only one way to confirm who is telling the truth," he said dramatically.

Master Roshi raised his staff into the air, pointing heroically.

"Come to me! Flying Nimbus!" he shouted.

Everyone's eyes followed the direction of Master Roshi's staff, looking high into the air.

"I don't see anything," Goku said after a minute had passed.

"Yep, it was my mistake, this old geezer definitely has some screws loose," Oolong said shaking his head.

"It must be over here!" Master Roshi said, performing a 180-degree turn.

"Flying Nimbus!" he shouted again.

WSH!

A small yellow cloud flew down, appearing out of nowhere.

"Is that really a cloud?" Bulma questioned, spellbound by the yellow floating thing before her eyes.

"Sharp as a sword girly! Yep, flying through the air is no problem with this baby!" Roshi said smoothly.

'He actually has a magic item!' Oolong exclaimed mentally, knowing how rare and hard to come by they were.

'This guy...couldn't actually be the real deal, right?' he questioned.

"That's so cool!" Goku said, imagining soaring through the air.

"So anyone can fly on that thing?" Bulma asked, not quite believing the strange old man yet.

"Not just anyone! It can only support someone truthful and pure of heart, it can't stand people who are dishonest and wicked in thought!" he said descriptively.

"Here allow me to demonstrate!" he said, jumping far higher into the sky than anyone could have guessed with his stick-like legs.

Master Roshi fast fell, his body seemingly hated by gravity, causing him to plummet downward quickly.

WHOO!

PSH!

Master Roshi's body fell through the cloud and land chest-first on the soft ground, his body crushing it while he grunted softly. Master Roshi quickly popped out of the hole but landed on his back, the shell he had making him spin around uncontrollably.

"PFFFT!"

Bulma, Oolong and Pansy simultaneously burst out in laughter.

Goku's eyes were stuck on the Nimbus Cloud, without too much thought, he leapt forward and landed on it, his stubby feet supported by what felt like soft air.

"WOOOHEEEY!" he shouted as the Nimbus Cloud took off into the air.

"That doesn't normally happen," Master Roshi said, sitting up with some effort.

Bulma and Oolong were still cracking up while Pansy looked at Master Roshi slightly worried.

'Is this really the guy who can save us?'

Master Roshi looked up, finding Goku spiralling around in the air.

"The boy handles the Nimbus Cloud pretty well! The truth is revealed! Our liar flees!" Roshi said, already detecting that Yamcha had gotten onto his bike.

"Hehe! Just look at him go!" Roshi said, watching Yamcha hover over the water.

Bulma looked at Roshi again, only to do a double-take when she saw an orange object poking out underneath his long white beard. She moved her face closer, trying to see if it was what she thought it was.

"Oh? This old thing?" he said, revealing the three-star Dragon Ball.

"It washed up from the sea one day! Do you like it?"

Bulma screamed, knocking everyone there off their feet.

"Like it? I absolutely love it! Can I have it please?" she said, not believing her luck. She hadn't checked her dragon radar but she didn't need to, the balls kept popping up like they wanted her to have her wish.

"You can have it if you want," Roshi said smoothly.

"Really?" Bulma said, not believing it.

"Yes! I have no desire for material things and all I want in return is a peek at your supple boobies," Roshi said softly, his face turning red as he spoke.

Bulma's face wrinkled in disgust but she stopped for a moment considering the proposition.

"Disgraceful!" Oolong called out.

"You should be ashamed of yourself you dirty old man!" Oolong scolded.

"My goals are beyond your understanding porky! This young woman's breasts are the perfect proportion for her frame! In my entire existence, I haven't seen such a pair that rendered me speechless before!" Roshi shouted in defence.

Bulma's face blushed red while her expression harshened, feeling the need to cover herself.

"I'll do it," she said bitterly.

"But you have to give me the orb first," she said softly.

(A few moments later)

"What!"

"Please do it," Bulma begged.

"Allow me to be the voice of all that's decent by saying What The Hell! No way! No how! Not happening!" Oolong resisted.

"What do you want? Money? Power? Fame?"

"Gimme your panties and it's a deal," Oolong said, a cold business face settling on him.

Bulma furrowed her brows.

"Fine," she said quietly.

"Say no more!" Oolong said, jumping high into the air and transforming into Bulma.

WSH!

A thin veil of yellow smoke wafted away to reveal a buxom, 5'4 teenage girl with bright blue hair. She had dark blue eyes, thin toned legs and a smooth slender waist. She wore a short pink dress that stopped at her thighs, further exaggerating her proportions.

"Wow! You got me perfectly, you really know your stuff!" Bulma said, proud of her own appearance.

"Yeah, yeah don't flatter yourself," Oolong said, walking out from behind Kame house.

Oolong waved his hand.

"I'm ready!" he said in a high pitched voice.

"I don't talk like that!" Bulma said, not believing she sounded so girlish.

Oolong snickered.

"Yeah you do," he said in his own voice.

"Show me the goods!" Roshi said impatiently, not wanting to be duped out of his Dragon Ball.

"Are you sure you only want to see?" Oolong said seductively.

"Huh?"

"Why don't I show you a game I like to call 'Bouncy Bouncy'?" Oolong said, squeezing the air around his chest.

"Bouncy Bouncy?" Master Roshi said hooked, mirroring Oolong's movements.

"Bouncy Bouncy!" Oolong said again.

Bulma gritted her teeth as she watched this occur from behind the house.

"I think he's enjoying this a bit too much," she muttered under her breath.

'At least I have this,' she thought getting ready to put the three-star Dragon Ball in her purse.

"And pow!" Oolong said, suddenly pulling down his top revealing Bulma's breasts to Master Roshi.

Master Roshi stared intently, looking as if he was trying to burn the image into his memory. Blood suddenly spurted out of his nose, fountains dripping onto the floor like a pipe burst.

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Deep underwater in front of Kame House a submarine was submerged, the periscope peering out of the water.

"This is where the map says the Dragon Ball should be," Pasta said, double-checking for the third time.

"Let's blast it!" Bongo said, commanding his men.

Pasta scoffed.

"That's the first good idea you've had all day," she said, giving the alright for her soldiers to fire missiles at the small island.

WSH!

WSH!

WSH!

The missiles all rose out of the water, several remote-controlled Spybots on their surface to help them navigate through the air.

"I can finally die happy," Mr Roshi said to himself, two tissues lodged in each of his nostrils.

BOOM!

BOOM!

BOOM!

Several missiles exploded on Kame House turning the small structure into scraps of woods in moments, a small fire where it used to be as pieces of wood flew out barely missing the team.

"Take Cover!" Oolong shouted, abandoning Pansy who quickly ran behind him.

"Wha...." Roshi looked at his destroyed his with irritation.

'What's going on?' Goku thought, seeing the explosion down below.

"Hmph!" he tried his hardest to control the Nimbus Cloud that was flying wildly, forcing it to fly down.

"My Dragon Ball!" Bulma said distraught, watching a small Spybot steal from her.

"Goku help!" she cried as more Spybots flew towards her.

Goku heeded her call, running to Bulma and unsheathing his power pole.

"Extend!" he shouted out, jumping into the air and spinning it firmly.

PSH!

PSH!

PSH!

Goku's power pole caught all of the Spybots, every movement and rotation he made useful as he picked off the critters one by one.

"Come out and fight fair you meanies!" Goku said angrily.

He didn't like the underhanded tactics at all.

Any awe Bulma was put in by Goku's feat wore off the second she heard him call the thieves 'Meanies'.

Pasta kissed her teeth.

"I told King Gerumes that we need Version Three's not One's!" she vented annoyedly. The standard-grade Spybots were not up to the task.

"At least we got the Dragon Ball," Bongo said, holding the orange orb in his hands.

"You don't get it, that girl who passed us by the mansion was there and she acted so scared when we took the Dragon Ball, I bet she was the one who took the Dragon Ball from that house in the forest too," Pasta explained.

Bongo stared back at her blankly.

Pasta scoffed.

"Fire more missiles! We can retrieve the Dragon Balls from their ashes," Pasta said cruelly.

King Gerumes' soldiers complied, throwing more missiles into the canon shaped holes.

Master Roshi looked away from his broken house, towards the dark blue submarine the was rising out of the water, a fat 'Gerumes Navy' logo on the side of it.

Even more, missiles arose from the water and soared rapidly towards the island.

Shock, despair and fear were written on Oolong, Bulma and Pansy's faces as they could only watch their death fly towards them.

Goku wracked his brain, trying to think of what to do but he came up short, thinking of nothing.

Master Roshi wandered his way to the edge of the Island walking towards the missiles.

"You have picked on the wrong old man today," Roshi said, throwing his shirt high into the air.

"What chance do you have against a submarine?" Bulma said despairingly.

Master gripped his fists, bringing in his ki around his body.

'Uh?' Goku stared at Roshi, mesmerised by his state.

"Ka..." Roshi said, stretching his arms forward.

'What is he doing?' Pansy thought, watching the old man confront missiles.

"Meh..." he said, drawing his arms back twisting his torso.

'No way!' Oolong thought.

Master Roshi's body expanded, his muscles ballooning in size and becoming huge, his arms now the Size of Oolong's whole body.

"Ha..." he continued, allowing bright blue ki to build up in his palms, charging the attack with lifeforce.

"Meh...." he said, shifting his torso back to its furthest point.

"FIRE!" Pasta shouted, issuing her troops to eject even more missiles on the island.

"HA!" Roshi roared loudly, moving his arms forward and firing a huge blue beam towards the submarine.