I'm back ?

Dear esteemed readers,

I hope this letter finds you in a state of profound curiosity mixed with a dash of bewilderment. It is with a heavy heart and a head full of shame that I come before you today to apologise for my sudden vanishing act, which left you stranded on a cliffhanger of epic proportions.

First and foremost, let me assure you that my disappearance was not the result of joining a secretive cult dedicated to the worship of ancient typewriters. Nor was it due to a misguided attempt at pursuing the elusive art of levitation. No, my disappearance had a far more ridiculous cause—one that could only be attributed to the tumultuous nature of existence itself.

You see, as I was penning the next riveting chapter of our beloved saga, a mischievous squirrel infiltrated my writing sanctuary. With unruly enthusiasm, it declared war against my laptop, believing it to be the sole perpetrator of deforestation. Fueled by this noble cause, the squirrel embarked on an all-out assault, effectively kidnapping my laptop and holding it hostage in a neighbouring tree.

To my dismay, negotiations with the squirrel proved fruitless. Attempts to barter with acorns and promises of a new tree-friendly agenda fell upon deaf squirrel ears. Alas, the squirrel had a heart as cold as its little paws. As I searched for a squirrel whisperer or a tree arbitrator, the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months.

In this strange period of squirrel-induced exile, I found myself embroiled in the most absurd escapades. I encountered time-travelling armadillos, debating the philosophical implications of shell design. I participated in a rigorous training programme led by a troupe of tap-dancing pandas who believed that rhythm was the key to enlightenment. And I even stumbled upon a secret community of sentient vegetables who were fervently petitioning for their right to vote in the next general election.

But amidst these bizarre distractions, my thoughts always returned to you, my dear readers. I imagined your eyebrows raised in perplexity and your fingers itching to turn the pages that were never there. And so, I resolved to return to the realm of sanity and complete what I started.

Please forgive this absurdly extended hiatus as well as the fantastical excuses I've concocted to explain my absence. Know that my commitment to you and the world we've woven together remains unwavering. The remaining chapters of our tale will soon grace the digital shelves as I embark on a quest to recover my laptop from the clutches of squirrel resistance.

I understand if you harbour doubts about my sanity or the reliability of my storytelling. However, I implore you to grant me another chance to dazzle you with words, to tickle your funny bones while evoking profound emotions, and to weave a narrative tapestry that will make you forget the absurdity of my apology.

With utmost sincerity and a deep-rooted determination to right my wrongs, I promise to deliver the conclusion you've been patiently waiting for. Together, let us dive headfirst into the abyss of imagination once more, daring to explore the unfathomable depths of what lies between the lines.

Yours, humbly and ridiculously apologetic,

Ashlin_17