Chapter 01 - The Dream and The Plan

I was older, about mid thirties I guess, but I looked older, almost as if I was in my 70's. I look like shit. My once platinum hair now black with dirt and soot, and my once thoroughly ironed and perfect robe of best quality was now nothing but rags with improvised stitches all over, covered in filth. I looked around. I seemed to be in a corridor, a corridor I recognized all too well. Hogwarts, that's where I was, damn place, every corridor in hogwarts looked the same so I had no idea where I was at exactly. But I was sure that that was where I was at. I heard a soft meow~, I looked down, and near my feet was a cat, green and black, nasty looking one. It almost looked like our old friend Mrs. Norris, only it looked younger and had less scars.

I suddenly found myself unable to control my body as it moved, moving towards the end of the corridor the cat meowed again, and against my will, my body spoke, "what is it Mrs. Clarissa? Oh, firs- years, out of the dorms after curfew, ooh~ lucky lucky Mrs. Carrie. "

My body walked into a room and looked around cautiously, hearing a low giggle from a closet, I walked towards it and opened it, to find a girl and a boy, seemingly young enough to be first years.

"Damn it! It's draco!!!" the girl screamed.

The boy just seemed shocked, maybe he was having a panic attack, he was just standing there. I don't know what it was, maybe it was the familiar look that the boy was giving me, that look of fear and loathing and even a hint of disgust. Or maybe it was the words of the girl. Or maybe, all of this suddenly just clicked in my mind. I was the next filch. And that scared me, enough to make me jump awake from my dream.

I looked around. I was back, probably hadn't been even 15 minutes since I fell asleep. The other Slytherins had already gone to bed by the time I fell asleep so the rest of the common room was empty. The ashes of my cigarette were scattered on my robe, and the bottle of fire whiskey I reached for was empty. I frowned, not remembering finishing it. I got up and dusted off the Ash from my robes, then I took my pack of cigarettes, safely placing it in my robe I walked to my room. I opened my suitcase to get another firewhiskey only to be greeted by rows and rows of empty bottles. I sighed, feeling a bit of anger trying to make its way out. Knowing it was the effects of the unforgivable curses I suppressed the feeling and resolved to get a new batch as soon as I could tomorrow. For now I simply went back to my chair in the common room and smoked another cigarette.

Nowadays I didn't sleep much, not that I could if I tried to. Other than the few seconds of sleep I would get due to immense fatigue I never close my eyes. It was because of the night terrors. The last one I described, well let's just say that was one of the better ones, much, much, much better ones. And I simply didn't like to sleep, there was no point was there. I mean, you sleep because you need rest, you need rest because you're tired, you're tired because you did a lot of work. And simply said I do no work whatsoever. I just sit here in my chair all day long.

I stopped going to classes, because well, they were useless, charms and transfiguration, useless without a wand, divination is a complete hoax unless the once in a lifetime lucky break. History, I basically know that by heart, defence in the dark arts? I doubt anyone know that at hogwarts better than me, oh, well maybe the golden trio might. And also, well I don't have a great interest in anymore. I just wanna sit here and mope about how things would've gone different if I got a second chance. But for now, I had a plan. Since I had lost my wand, and, after what I felt when they broke it, I don't really feel comfortable with buying a new one, so I thought I would go to the muggle world. Travel a bit, maybe write a book. But, for that I'm going to need some muggle help. And, well I only know once person who can help. You guessed it, her.

I really don't want to. But, it can't be helped, she would be the most approachable of the three. And even I wanted to do it without her help, I'd have to go to the ministry of muggle affairs, and that would involve talking to the head of the Weasleys. And I don't think I can do that. No, Granger is the better choice, I just hope she can forgive me.