Chapter 37 -> Part 37

The entire Uzumaki clan plus Minato had just started a rather subdued dinner when I walked into the dining room. Fusō was the first to notice me, the first to squeal my name, as well as the first to assault me with a hug, even though she was very obviously pregnant and waddled more than she could walk. A heartbeat later, several more bodies slammed into me, knocking me back against the door frame.

Underneath Fusō's elbow, I could see Nagato rolling on the floor, laughing, and substituted myself with him, so he could feel the full force of 'attack of the Uzumaki delight'. The best part was that only Fusō had the perspective to notice the change in hairstyle and height, and laughed at the trick as I picked myself up off the floor. Only one of the Uzumaki kids, the oldest civilian, did not join the vertical dogpile and I took my cushion off the shelf and parked it between him and Ise.

"Hey! Everyone! I'm absolutely starving here, so put poor Nagato, who was laughing at me and totally deserved what he got for being an ass in the first place, down and let's eat!"

They broke apart with a laugh and retook their places around the table. Minato and Kushina had identical glares on their faces and I had a feeling I was going to get kidnapped as soon as I was finished eating, which was fine with me, because I would probably fall asleep as soon as the chattering eased.

There were introductions between me and the adults, some polite conversation, but mostly everyone just talked at me or about me. As the last morsels of food were eaten, the puppies Nagato told me about rolled in for their meals. I grinned as they focused on me, took a few wary sniffs, gave the doggy equivalent of a shrug, and bounded for their respective owners.

Minato and Kushina took the opportunity to grab me under the arms, Nagato tackled my legs, and I was painfully dragged to the top floor of the house via the spiral staircase Takeshi rebuilt, after a jaunty wave to the adults. When we reached the top, Minato pried Nagato off my legs and Kushina threw me onto one of the mattresses that had a trap seal stitched into it so I couldn't leave it.

"Okay, I get the picture, you two are really unhappy with me right now, I get it, but before you murder me in some creative and painful way, can we talk about it? I'll tell you anything you want to know, damn the classified labels."

They just glared at me without a reaction, and I rightly assumed they couldn't hear me. I laid back and got comfortable. I wasn't headed anywhere anytime soon anyways.

Eventually, the seal fell after a three-way argument between Minato, Kushina, and Nagato that I couldn't hear. Nagato sat down beside me as I sat up and leaned against the wall while Minato and Kushina sat down in front of me before they reactivated the seal.

"You'll tell us everything, right? Nothing classified, no lies, no stretching the truth, just the bare facts and you'll answer any questions honestly and completely," Minato demanded.

"I'll tell you anything you want to know with complete honestly from after I collapsed sealing the Seven Swordsmen up until this second." That seemed to satisfy them for the moment. Nagato tucked his head under my chin and wrapped his arms around my torso.

And so I told them everything that I remembered, the complete and honest truth, albeit a bit boring for most of the time. It was harder than I thought, and I had to stop myself several times before I glazed over parts of the story I would normally have filtered for retelling.

I didn't have to tell them anything. I could have said I didn't remember anything, but I knew it wouldn't satisfy them. At least, even though I knew there were gaps in my memory, I couldn't place them and what I did remember was reassuringly mundane compared to what they probably imagined.

The worst part of it all was how much time had passed without me realizing it. It still felt like five months, even though over a year had passed. It would take me weeks to adjust to not only being older, but also the changes in the village I had already seen.

I did not tell the about the conversation I overheard between the Hokage and Kagami. I told them how terrified I was to hold Kakashi, who was so small, and how scared I was that I would drop him. That distracted everyone for a while, apparently, Kakashi was a frequent presence in the house and according to the adults, he was small for his age.

I clung as tightly to Nagato as he held on to me through the entire thing, but I didn't leave a tear stains on his clothes. When I finished, none of them could look me in the eye.

"How can you not hate them?" Minato demanded.

"Hate whom?"

"Iwa."

"Can you honestly say you would have done differently in the same circumstances?"

"I wouldn't have broken the treaty in the first place," Minato grumbled.

Kushina interrupted before I could answer. "I know how you like to flip the situation, to understand it from someone else's perspective, but it won't work this time, Nii-san. Iwa is firmly in the wrong no matter which direction you look at it." Damn, she grew up fast.

"You should at least be angry with them," Minato concluded.

I sighed and rested my head on Nagato's, who started nodding off towards the end of my recollection.

"I don't want to argue with you. I don't trust Iwa but I don't hold any ill will towards them. Now, everyone here is exhausted. Don't argue with me, I can see the bags under your eyes, and I'm sure mine are worse. You three can stay here and talk about what you want to ask me in the morning. I'll go sleep in Nagato's room." I stated to stand up, but Nagato refused to let go.

"You're not going anywhere; you're not disappearing again." Nagato mumbled.

"I didn't—oh, I guess you're right, I did disappear on you, Nagato. I'm sorry about that, but it won't happen again if I have anything to say about it. I don't even resume training for another two days, I promise."

"If you had anything to say about it, you wouldn't have left in the first place."

I didn't have a response to that, so I just picked Nagato up with me. "I will see you in the morning," I said to Minato and Kushina. Minato looked as if he wanted to say something, but a look from Kushina silenced him.

I carried Nagato down the stairs and into his room without interruption. I laid Nagato on his bed and sat down beside him, leaning back against the bedpost. After a few moments, Ise paused on the threshold, several blankets tucked under his arm.

"I don't want to talk about anything right now," I told him flatly as Nagato's hand tightened in mine.

"I didn't expect you to. I only came to close the door and tell you that if you need to leave the house during the night you have to go through the smallest window on the northwest wall of the third floor. I'll activate the security seals in a few minutes, and if you leave, you won't be able to get back in until sunrise when I take down the seals. I'll key you directly into the seal system tomorrow so you can enter any leave whenever you want."

"Thank you, but I'm sure it will help the peace of mind of several individuals if my movements are restricted until I return to active duty." Nagato's hand tightened in mine.

"Do you have any idea when that will be?"

"I don't know the wartime procedures for someone in my position. You'd be better off asking Minato or Kushina."

Ise placed the extra blankets on the foot of the bed. "There's an empty room with a bed two doors down on your right if you want it, as well an extra mattress on the second floor in the far corner of the room. Sleep where you like, everyone else has already gone to bed and no one will bother you." He started to close the door but stopped. "And I'm here if you need anything, at any time, no matter how trivial, don't hesitate to ask. I'm in the first room on your right from the front door."

I nodded and he shut the door. A few minutes later, I could feel the massive security seal activate.

"Can you stay here for tonight?" Nagato asked softly.

It took me a long time to decide on my answer, but eventually I laid down beside him and he slid towards the wall to give me more space.

(-_-)

I slept fitfully that night and Nagato shook me awake several times, but I never fully awoke.

When morning came and I woke up, the first thing I did was panic at the unfamiliar room and took one of Nagato's training kunai before he could react to my sudden alertness. Without thinking, I stabbed my forearm with the blunt tip, the blade going between the bones of my arm and puncturing my thigh. Nagato let out an alarmed shout as I pulled the blade out of my arm, and almost immediately, I could hear several people running for the room. They opened the door just as Nagato managed to wrench the kunai out of my grasp. I probably looked possessed as I stared down, unsure how to feel.

Ise stepped forward cautiously and sat down beside me. He automatically pulled the bandage off my head, ripped it in half, and folded it to make a pad to put pressure on the bleeding. Someone reached for my forehead and I automatically flinched away from the unfamiliar hand.

"Kaede-chan, just give him some space, he'll be fine," Fusō murmured.

"Does he look anywhere near 'fine' to you? That boy should be in the hospital! He would never have been released under my watch, no matter how badly the village needs him."

"Kaede, now is not the time," Fusō said firmly.

The other person in the doorway left quickly, pulling a stunned Nagato along with them.

"He's suicidal!" Kaede screeched back.

"He's eleven and impulsive, not suicidal."

"Are you blind? The boy has a hole in his arm from a training weapon. How else would you explain it?"

"I'm not suicidal," I interrupted coldly. "I only damaged the muscle, and that is easy to fix. I just panicked for a moment, but I'm fine now."

"You obviously have some kind of disconnect with reality then and you should still be in the hospital sorting out your head, or with someone who can control you in case you lose touch."

"Damnit! I'm not crazy!" I shot to my feet. Ise stood with me and grabbed my arm to keep me from lunging at her, not that it would have actually stopped me.

"You're not in your right mind!"

"I damn straight know I'm not, but that doesn't mean I need to be thrown in the psych ward!" I didn't mean that to come out as harsh and defensive as it sounded. My head pounded and I felt an intense need to get out of the small room. "Excuse—"

"Kichiro, wait," I paused as Ise turned me around to focus on him. "Heal it," he ordered.

Obediently, I laid my hand over my arm and closed up the skin before laying my hand over my thigh to heal the puncture wound.

"Is your chakra control normal?" Ise asked, tapping my jaw to keep my eyes focused on him before I could turn away and push my way out. Fusō was trying to persuade Kaede to leave, but she was having none of it.

I frowned. "Yes, but it feels a little different now that you brought it up."

"You just have more than you remember and it's a little less flexible." Ise put a hand on the top of my head and pressed his thumb against the center of my forehead. "Focus on your chakra, just yours." Slowly, I sat back down on the bed, doing as I was told. He took one of my hands and pressed it over my heart. "Feel your heartbeat and match your chakra to the rhythm."

After a minute of concentration, my chakra started to pulse through my body alongside my blood and it was almost hypnotizing, but it didn't take very long for me to regain equilibrium and return to normal. When I reopened my eyes, Ise took a seat beside me and I leaned against him. Kaede and Fusō had left.

"What's wrong with me?" I groaned, rubbing my temples.

"Kichiro, calm down," Ise tried to soothe.

"I'm not worked up, I just know something is wrong, but it's not me but at the same time, it is me.

He slid me into his lap and wrapped a blanket tightly around me. "You're safe here," he assured me.

"Safe from myself?" I asked sardonically, but that quickly turned into panic. "I don't have the self-discipline needed to break my own skin! It took me over a year to get the discipline to break or dislocate bones in my hand, and that was only after endless exercising at escaping ropes and wires, but I was never able to—" My breathing quickened to the point that I could no longer force the words out.

"Focus on me, Kichiro," Ise murmured and pressed my ear over his heart. The steady rhythm helped me focus, but not on him. Suddenly, Ise grabbed my jaw and forced me to look at him, holding the blanket closed tightly around my torso so I couldn't move my arms. "Focus on me, Kichiro," he repeated. I squirmed, but unless I used chakra, he was stronger. "Hatake trained you to defend yourself first and ask questions second, right?"

"That has nothing—"

"It has everything to do with this. Hatake would never have let you out in the field if the conditioning hadn't worked. No one would have let you out of the village otherwise."

"What are you talking about?" I jerked backwards, hard enough to wrench the blanket free of Ise's grip, and landed flat on my back.

"You were trained to eliminate threats, whatever they may be."

"So what?"

Ise pinched the bridge of his nose as if I was missing an obvious point. "You didn't even notice, did you?"

"What are you talking about?" I almost shouted at him.

"Whether you were aware of it or not, you were trained to react to and eliminate a threat before it could harm you. Tell me, what is the primary method Hatake taught you to dispel a Genjutsu?"

I frowned. "Since I'm a medic nin, the primary method is breaking or dislocating a finger since I can heal it almost right away."

"As much as you hate to admit it, Kichiro, you are conditioned to attack back. If someone took a knife to you in the middle of the street, they would have the knife in them instead. You want to think you back off and avoid confrontations, but you attack back because that is what you were trained to do."

"That's not right," I hissed. "What could you possibly know?"

"I watched your father and several others go through the exact same thing you are," Ise murmured back, his voice grave.

I didn't respond, I just lay on the floor and rubbed my face.

"He spent eight weeks in one of Kiri's torture chambers. They tried everything on him. They—" He broke off and I could tell he was still grieving. I picked myself up off the floor and sat down beside him. It was probably cruel of me to show up in front of them in Ame. I knew he had gotten his hopes up that both of Kichiro's parents were still alive, even though I had been quick to say otherwise. "Your dad was as strong as he was smart. He held out for far longer than he should have been able to, or maybe they sent someone incompetent, but when he supposedly broke, he fed them false information. When they figured it out, someone else took over, and the rest of the time your father spent under countless Genjutsus until he no longer knew what direction was up. The worst part, perhaps, was that no one was coming for him. Uzushiogakure didn't dare anger Kiri by attempting a rescue, so he had to escape on his own. He managed it and showed up at the village gates nearly dead. He all but retired from being a ninja after he recovered, he became a full-time village guard, only running the occasional C-rank to escort merchants between Uzu and Konoha. Did you know he was a Jōnin? He earned it at sixteen and went nearly ten years before he got caught and stopped taking A-ranked missions. It wasn't until after you were born a year and a half after he escaped that he could return to duty without putting a kunai through anyone who stepped behind him."

Ise painstakingly cleaned my blood out from around his fingernails with the clean part of the bandage, waiting for me to respond. When I said nothing, he continued.

"That's how I know, Kichiro. Your father accidentally injured several people before he figured out which triggers set him off, and I was there the entire time." He pressed a hand over his chest, where I vaguely remembered he had a scar. "That's how I know. You can't help your training and it will take time for you to get better."

"I'm not sick, not this time."

"Kushina told me a lot about what you've done for her and Minato. It's time for us to help you."

"I shouldn't need—"

"After being captured, there are very few ninjas who return to active duty."

"You know I don't have a choice," I responded. "I walk out of this house as a medic and shinobi or a dead man, and I can't let them seal the Kyuubi into Kushina."

Ise didn't refute it as he put his arm around my shoulders.

"If it's not sealed in her, it will be sealed in Nagato."

He reflected on that until my stomach grumbled impatiently. "Let's get you something to eat."

(-_-)

Breakfast was quiet. Nagato, Minato, and Kushina had been temporarily suspended from their respective responsibilities for a calculated prank they pulled on the Academy the day before. I suspected the three of them had turned into little heathens while I was gone, so long as neither Ise nor Fusō were looking. The rest of the children had left for school while all the adults were working elsewhere. In the house, it was just the four of us.

"Ka-chan said that you should be retiring," Nagato broke the silence.

"He can't," Kushina responded before I could.

"I read the shinobi contract. There's a clause that says a shinobi can retire after any major hospitalization with no consequences."

"Nii-san's contract is a bit different."

I nodded in agreement before sticking the last of my rice in my mouth. I would have done almost anything for a good waffle slathered in maple syrup. Or scrambled eggs and bacon. Hell, any American food would have been fine, I just wanted something familiar.

"Are there any eggs?" I asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

I got odd looks from all three of them.

"You've eaten at least two kilograms of food already," Minato deadpanned. "How are you not full?"

I shrugged. Frankly, I was stuffed, but by the time I finished cooking an omelet, I would have enough room. When I wasn't on a mission, I still ate in American proportions, even if it was almost pig-like in comparison to the rest of the culture. Besides, I needed the calories. I sure as hell didn't want to stunt my growth in this world.

"There might be one or two eggs in the kitchen," Minato said. I was on my feet immediately in search of them.

They followed to clean up the dishes as I rustled around the kitchen looking for what I would need for a decent omelet. There was no cheese or peppers so I made due with some spinach and onions. I was very proud of myself when I finished the omelet.

"Nii-san?" Kushina asked as I tipped the clumsy omelet onto a plate. "What is that?"

"An omelet," I responded cheerfully.

"Is it from Iwa?"

"No, but I'm going to say it's from America because I'm arrogant like that."

I climbed up on top of the cupboard to retrieve the fork I had hidden when the kitchen had been finished. I carved it not long after I had arrived in Konoha when I had gotten sick of using chopsticks for every single meal. It was dusty, but I rinsed it in the sink and dug into my omelet while leaning against the kitchen sink, trying to ignore the incredulous looks the other three were giving me.

"Is there a problem?" I asked them when I finished half the omelet.

"You're weird," Nagato summed up their thoughts.

"Would you like to try it?" I asked, cutting off a piece and offering it to him.

Tentatively, Nagato reached out and took the square inch of egg, spinach, and onion with his fingers. He eyed me with suspicion, but ate it anyways. "It's not bad," he conceded, making a silent plea of more.

I cut off two more pieces to offer to Minato and Kushina. It made what remained of the omelet depressingly small, but I was full this time. For some reason, Minato tossed a kunai across the room and when I looked back at my plate, it was empty and Nagato had a very full mouth and my fork in his hand.

I carefully set the plate in the sink while Nagato quickly swallowed the food. "It was a good dessert?" Nagato said bashfully when my gaze returned to him.

"You, my youngest little brother, are not going to enjoy your training session today, mostly because you got caught." I poked Nagato in the chest. "The two of you, my oldest little siblings, are going to have it much worse because you stole my omelet." I patted Minato and Kushina's heads. All three of them paled and I let them sweat it for a little longer before bursting out laughing.

They laughed nervously.

"Come on, I'm not going to waste my day training the three of you. What do you say to a walk instead?"

I picked Nagato up and set him on my shoulders before throwing my arms around the shoulders of the other two and escorting them towards the door.

"Wait!" Kushina cried and vanished up the stairs. After a few seconds, she returned with a ball I made during our first week in Konoha to entertain her when she got tired of wandering around the village with no money. We had played hacky sack games for hours inside or out in clearings beside different trails. I was surprised she kept the thing. It was just a makeshift cloth sack I had sewn from my torn shirt with a needle and thread Kushina begged off some lady. It was stuffed with the rest of the shirt and made a decent hacky sack. "Why don't we go out back and you can show Minato and Nagato all the fun games you made up!"

I shrugged and agreed, turning around to exit the house through the back door. We played hacky sack for the remainder of the morning. Minato volunteered to go get lunch and bring it back. I made makeshift lacrosse sticks, and after lunch, I introduced the game to them. Their first attempts were hilarious, but Minato and Kushina were shinobi and Nagato was a genius, so it didn't take long to get a good game going after lunch. It didn't take long for us to realize that Nagato could somewhat defend against Minato and Kushina at full speed, even if he had a hard time tracking me when I poured on the speed. The game picked up a lot after that. I was thrilled to find out I was still faster than Kushina and Minato, as long as they didn't use any jutsu. I had to add a 'no chakra' rule after a frustrated Minato shunshined past Nagato and I to put the ball in our goal, which was a circle in the ground. We gained an audience when the rest of the kids returned home. Dinner was outside that night.

The game ended at sunset, with Minato and Kushina one point ahead of Nagato and I. Nagato insisted it was a tie, since that point had been from Minato's shunshin. I just told him to deal with it and be proud that he kept up with two Chuunin in speed, if not in skill. Of the twelve points we had, Nagato had only scored one.

The four of us spent the remainder of the evening on the third floor. At some point, a target was set up and we took turns riddling the target with senbon, kunai, and shuriken while the three of them pelted me with the questions they had refrained from the night before. I slept on my own mattress when they exhausted their questions. It did nothing for the difficulty I had sleeping and I nearly dislocated Minato's arm when he shook me awake in the morning. I talked with Ise for almost an hour that morning while the other three were sent around the village on errands. When he left for his shift at the hospital, Minato cornered me.

"We were banned from civilian contact, Nii-san. Why are you allowed to stay here with kids running all over the place?"

I sighed. "I don't have any history of violent outbursts, Minato, and I'm not swinging at everything that startles me. Both you and Kushina were, and some of your attacks on me would have killed a civilian unable to counter them. It's just a difference in personality."

"They almost did kill you," Minato looked down guiltily.

"Those were extenuating circumstances," I insisted.

He wasn't convinced, so I ruffled his hair reassuringly before giving him a hug.

"I don't hold it against you, Minato, I'm perfectly fine now."

He clearly didn't believe me anymore, but I couldn't do anything about that. Kushina appeared in front of me. I put two fingers against her forehead.

"Wait your turn, I'm reassuring Minato right now." I pushed her away as she scowled, but she wandered off anyways.

"You're not perfectly fine, Nii-san," Minato responded quietly. I pulled back and held him at arm's length, both hands on his shoulders.

"No, I'm not, but that has absolutely nothing to do with you, is that clear? Yes, my choices got you in your mess, but your choices have absolutely nothing to do with my mess."

"I should have—"

"Should have what? Offered to go instead? Stopped me? Gone with me? The entire situation was beyond your control, and any situation like it will be beyond your control for a long time yet."

"You're not that much older than me."

"The situation was beyond my control as well, hell, the Hokage himself could do barely anything about it."

"Then I'm going to become Hokage and make sure nothing bad ever happens to you or anyone else ever again."

"Minato, you can't control all of the bad in this world. You can become the most powerful, the fastest, the scariest, but bad things are still going to happen to everyone. You can't fix the world no matter how hard you try."

Minato glared at me.

"You can't fix it and I'm not idealistic enough to let you think you can. The only thing I can be sure of is that you can make this world better. How much better depends on you, how long you live, and how strong you can get."

He still didn't like it, but I didn't care.

"I'm going to go see what Kushina wants and then I have someone's office door to break down. Do you need anything else before I leave you to think on what I said?"

He shook his head so I left him to think on what I said.

"What did you need?" I asked when I nearly ran into Kushina as I walked out of the dining room Minato cornered me in.

"It's nothing," she murmured.

"Alright," I responded cheerfully. "I'll be back in a few hours."

"Where are you going?"

"To break down the Hokage's door."

"He really doesn't like it when people do that."

"Good, I'm trying to be obnoxious."

"Nii-san, why do you try and antagonize the Hokage? He's not that bad."

I smirked at her. "You're right, he's not that bad. I won't break the door, promise."

"Your uniform is upstairs."