Chapter 31 -> Part 31

When I reopened my eyes, I was sprawled in front of the Kyuubi, who was locked in his seal. "You owe me little rat."

"I probably do, what the hell do you want?"

"The Yonbi will remain asleep for several days. Get out and make sure I don't hear anything from you for the next few weeks at least."

"I would be very happy with that arrangement."

With the feeling of having been just punched in the head, I woke in the middle of the street with a groan.

"For the record, this is why I hate fighting. Someone always gets hurt, and that someone is always me." I glared up as the Tsuchikage, who stood over me with his arms crossed while I tried to ease my headache with a little bit of medical Ninjutsu. "Stupid chakra-induced headaches that can't be fixed by chakra," I muttered to myself.

"There's no such thing as a wind prison," the Tsuchikage snapped.

"The last person to say that to me was a traitor. For your information, I am an Uzumaki. As a rule, we suck at Genjutsu, which means my wind prison exists." That was bad logic, but at the moment, I didn't care.

"That doesn't even make sense, and Konoha doesn't have access to advanced wind jutsus."

I shrugged and climbed to my feet, staggering slightly. Someone ducked under my arm and gripped my haori tightly, tapping out a discrete message of identity. A quick glance revealed Itsuki. He wasn't supposed to have run up to me, but it was nice to have a comrade, despite the fact that I was probably supposed to be protecting him, not the other way around. Even so, I let him take on a good portion of my weight so I didn't sway as my head throbbed. It wasn't fair that I put most of my weight on him, but he was a shinobi, albeit a Genin. He could handle my weight without a problem. He could probably handle an adult's weight without flinching, but I had to find a balance. Itsuki was the Hokage's son. I had no doubt he had been trained on how to handle himself as a political prisoner. At the same time, I barely knew the kid, was not trained to handle being a prisoner, and was unfortunate enough to have a higher rank than the kid. He would defer to me, even if I royally screwed up. I needed to get him out of Iwa. At the very least, I had to get him separated from me.

"'Chiro-nii-san—" Itsuki broke off. The nickname—I hated that nickname, but every kid at the hospital called me 'Chiro-sensei'—and the 'nii-san' was new. When he made no attempt to finish the statement, I realized that it was just a ploy at familiarity, an attempt to avoid separation again. I had read his file, he was one of the Genin under my command, but the details were sparse. The Hokage had no need for a complete profile of his son and no one else had reason to need the information. Without betraying my thoughts, I ruffled his hair and shifted so that I was mostly between him and the Tsuchikage. I needed his attention on me. I had to be the valuable one, the threat.

"If I were you, I would play very nicely with your Jinchuuriki. You can only beat a dog so many time before it bites back. Now, if you had something to speak with me about, Tsuchikage-san, it better happen soon."

Gritting his teeth, the Tsuchikage glared at me and jerked his head for me to follow. In short order, we made it to what I assumed to be his office, which looked surprisingly similar to the Hokage's. He took a seat behind his desk and I slumped in one of the chairs in front of it, uninvited. Itsuki had much better manners, waiting until the Tsuchikage gave permission, then sitting with the proper posture on the rather large chair with me. After a few seconds, someone entered. A quick glance confirmed it was the Daimyō, but he remained behind us, taking a seat on the short sofa beside the door. An intimidation tactic. It would have worked with a civilian, but intimidation was never as effective when I had an ally watching my back. Also, my opinion of civilian nobility went down the drain the moment the Fire Daimyō opened his mouth.

"You are a medic," the Tsuchikage snapped when everyone was as comfortable as they could get.

"Yup, but I'm not as good as you seem to think. I just like to experiment, and most of the time it works."

"Most of the time?"

"Yeah, there was this one time that I tried to heal a giant cut someone already stitched up, but I didn't take the stitches out first. It wasn't pretty."

The Tsuchikage just studied me intently. My attempt to distract him with information died pathetically. "Why aren't you a Ninjutsu fighter?"

I rolled my eyes. Stubbornness it was. "I didn't want to."

"Why not?"

"Tell me, what's the point of fighting if it only brings death?"

"I see."

"No, you don't. Next question."

He studied me for a long time. "What do you think of Iwa so far?"

"Depends, do you want my honest, blunt answer or my nice one?"

"The honest one, please."

I rolled my eyes. "Your shinobi are needlessly cruel, and it has mostly resulted in heightened paranoia among the non-shinobi and shinobi who do not participate in mainstream specializations. At least that's my take on it. In comparison, from the minimal information I've gathered, Konoha reveres diversity. By my standards, almost everyone I've met is a pigheaded bigot, but to each his own."

"And the nice one?"

"I'm an Uzumaki and my clan is still an ally of Konoha, therefore, this entire village is my enemy and I ought to hold no good will for anyone or anything here."

The Tsuchikage leaned forward and folded his hands to create a rest for his chin while he contemplated his response to my assessment. "And who would you not consider a 'pigheaded bigot,' as you so bluntly put it?"

"I haven't met them yet."

"You said you 'ought to hold no good will.' Does that mean you have a differing opinion?"

"That completely depends on you. After the events of today, any potential acknowledgment I have for this nation has plummeted. Next question."

"You are a very difficult child."

"I try very hard." I scowled at him and crossed my arms, sliding further down in my chair.

"Why do you like healing?"

"I hate it."

Cue the exasperation. "Why do you do it?"

"Because I hate fighting more."

"You are a pacifist?"

"I—" To my surprise, I realized I couldn't agree with that statement. I didn't know why I was telling the truth. I could have just made up the randomest and most obviously defiant statements I could, but the truth wasn't hurting anything. "Um, I'll get back to you on that."

If someone pushed the right buttons, I probably would declare war on them and dedicate a good portion of my existence to their destruction. While I was thumbing through the rapidly lengthening list of things I would fight for and unilaterally destroy, I belatedly realized the Tsuchikage was speaking again.

"Uzumaki! Are you paying attention?"

"To you? Nope, but I am now. What do you want?"

"If I were to ask you to assist at my hospital, what would you do?" He repeated with forced patience.

"It depends on what you give me in return."

"What do you want?" He gritted out.

"I don't think that's how the bargaining process works." I smirked. I had a feeling this was going to backfire horribly on me. "I have something you want and no motivation to share. Keep in mind that I am more easily motivated not to share it." There was a long pause. I stood up. "If that is all—"

"You are just being difficult."

"Yes, I am, and thank you for noticing my hard work."

"Daimyō-sama, do you have anything to add?"

"Nothing that will benefit anyone here. If I may?" Out of the corner of my eye, I barely caught the Daimyō reaching for Itsuki.

With a bit of strategic chakra use, I managed to slide between them before the Daimyō grabbed the boy's arm. His fingers brushed the front of my vest before he jerked backwards.

"Get out of the way, boy," the Daimyō snapped impatiently.

"Why?"

"That brat is mine."

"Actually, as Itsuki-kun's fellow countryman and ranked superior officer, he answers to me."

"I was promised—"

"I don't care."

"The treaty—"

"The treaty says that Itsuki-kun will reside in Iwagakure for the next year and return to Konohagakure unharmed. As his commander, as of now he has orders to remain with me, not be paraded around like a prize animal."

"You can't stop me from taking him."

"In the end, probably not."

"Then get out of my way."

"No."

"I am losing my patience with you, child."

"And you are not comprehending the situation. If you attempt to touch Itsuki-kun without his explicit consent, I am well within my rights to execute you on the spot. Before you ask, yes I am fully aware that I am deliberately threatening your life."

"You would never succeed."

"I probably wouldn't, but to stop me, the Tsuchikage over there would have to kill me, which would invalidate the treaty and to slow your own inevitable destruction you would have to give up any rights you think you have to Itsuki-kun." One hand hovered defensively in front of me while the other tightened around a fistful of Itsuki's shirt. "Tell me, is humiliating a child who can't do anything about who his father is in front of your little noble friends that important to you?"

The Daimyō raised his hand to hit me and at the last possible second I used Kawarimi to replace myself with Itsuki. Before anyone could properly process what happened, I pulled Itsuki out of range to retaliate. The Daimyō's rings had cut deeply into his cheek, but it was a small price to pay.

"Uh oh," I said, grinning like the cat that got the canary. "A deliberate, and successful, attack on Itsuki-kun's person is grounds for his immediate return to Konohagakure or the dissolution of the treaty. Which will it be Tsuchikage-san? Are you confident that you can weather a vengeful and motivated army attacking your borders for an assault against our Hokage, less than a month after an agreement has been made? Or are you sure your military will survive the lack of income when the civilian sect sees how bad you are at following through on contracts?"

"You little bastard!" The Tsuchikage snarled, appearing directly in front of me.

"Whoever strikes first wins, Ōnoki."

"You're still here," he sneered back.

I didn't respond. After a long moment, he withdrew and motioned towards the wall where two masked agents materialized.

"Take the younger boy to the Konoha border and dump him there, let his own take care of him."

The second the door closed behind Itsuki, the Tsuchikage grabbed the front of my vest and slammed me against the wall.

"I will not be made a fool of, boy!"

"And I will not be played as one. I'm glad we understand each other."

The next thing I knew, he shoved me out into the hall in front of three Jōnin. "Take him back to the place set up for him and lock him there. He is not to see or speak with anyone until I say so." I blinked once and instead of the Jōnin in front of me, I was stumbling into the apartment with the door slamming behind me. As soon as I landed on my knees, I summoned Kanon.

"What do you need, Kichiro?"

"I need you to hurry and tell the Hokage that his son should be delivered to the Konoha border and to make sure the kid makes it home safely. If they don't recover him within the month, the Tsuchikage and Iwa's Daimyō have broken the treaty and they need to make sure everyone knows that Iwa is unfaithful to their contracts and they are justified in resuming the war as soon as they are able."

"What the hell happened?"

"Frankly, the kid's life is more important and I'm not sure he's going to be in very good shape when he reaches the border, so someone needs to be there to meet them."

"Fine."

Kanon disappeared in a puff of smoke and I pulled myself to my feet, activated the security seal as I entered the bedroom, dumped everything on the floor and collapsed on the bed.

"And now to wait," I muttered into the air. Hours later of making patterns in the ceiling with senbon, I had accomplished nothing but boredom. I could toss kunai and senbon with my feet, but I generally relied on close proximity for them to land. I stopped and collected all the senbon.

After they were all in a neat little pyramid. I resumed making senbon patterns and trying to pull them back to me with rather badly made strings of chakra. I obviously didn't use my fighting senbon, which were made of glass, covered in poison, and built to shatter dangerously in case I hit anything but flesh. I used identical metal ones to train, spar, and mess around with.

Needless to say, I had a lot of senbon and it was a testament to my boredom for the next several hours when I ran out. The majority of the walls and ceiling were covered with spirals and shapes of five-inch senbon when I stood up to start gathering them and putting them away.

Three hours later I stood up to look for food in the kitchen, but it was freakishly empty. I took a quick shower and when I finished, I could smell what could only be takeout in the kitchen. I scowled out a thank you to the air at the confirmation I was being watched, but ate the food anyways, after thoroughly checking it for poisons.

At least no one could actually sneak up on me while I was sleeping without tripping the seals. At least, I hoped they couldn't. I did fall asleep unnaturally fast after the meal.