Chapter 1: It doesn't make sense, does it?

If I am being honest, I don't know what I am doing at all. I just follow what happens everyday. The cycle just repeats itself everyday. Like I'm stuck in a matrix, a loop that never seems to end. It gets pretty depressing though.

I am awakened with a little hope everyday that today is going to be better than yesterday, that it'll be exciting and fun but it's all the same. But the sensation of hope still stays there, the fact that I'm not even surprised that my expectations gets crushed everytime, so why? just why? Why does hope still lingers in the air, like how the smell of a week old pizza forgotten in the nooks and crannies of the freezer lingers, gone but not? It doesn't make sense, does it?.I'm confused to be honest, I don't know, what I'm doing right now, with my life or myself.

I work my ass off everyday, no matter how much hard I work. It's never enough! It's always "Do better next time!". I mean I'm doing the best I can. Can't you just be a little supportive and say that "I've done enough!",cause truly I'm tired. But still that's not a reason to slack off.

I can't give up, not right now, not never. Cause then all the damage I've received would go all in vain!

I'm perplexed, flabbergasted and lost. I wish there was someone I could ask for help. Someone who would atleast give me some directions even if it's wrong. Just a little hint is all I need I'll figure the rest by myself, that's what I've always done. But I guess I'm lost at this ocean that holds millions of wonders with a map that points to the sky.

It doesn't make any sense, does it? Well this is how my life is just wondering like a stray dog never warm always shivering cold.

It's truly pathetic but I guess that's how it truly is. Nothing makes sense anymore!

Sky is not the limit they say. Such hypocrisy, in the end they're the one who's keeping us trapped in this cage, cutting our feathers even before we learn how to take flight. It doesn't make sense, does it?

Now I truly know how those poor birds feel when we trim their feathers and keep them lock in cages thinking that they're happy cause we provide them with food, water and a roof. It doesn't make sense,does it?

Well in the end it's me against the world not we, not us, not them, not her or him but me. So, it doesn't really have to make sense as long as it makes sense to me. And if it doesn't makes sense to me then I'll just throw this map away that does nothing but point to skies and depend on my wounded wings cause it can lead me to places that I didn't even know existed.