Moving on without you

Chapter 30

“ I told you not to interrupt class, now we stuck writing I will behave myself a thousand times, ” Young Zafar said pouting

“ not my fault that you're always dragged into my mess..." Nura says sticking her tough out at him, "either way, I heard you moving schools after seventh grade? Explain."

“ jee, I’m going to boarding school.”

“ promise you'll be my pen pal when you arrive, ” she said holding out her pinkie

“ I promise.”

Thirteen-year-old Nura took out the chalkboard duster and began chasing after Zafar, a memory that lingered in his mind.

***

“ Zafar do you want to take charge?” Kadija asked

“ no jazakallah (thank you) I’m on sick leave now.”

I say leaving the room after washing my hands. Kadijah following me.

“ are you alright?” she asked stopping me in front of the class

“ jee I’m okay.”

“ is it your wife?”

“ I’d rather not talk about it, ” I say trying to leave

She ran in front of me, “ talk to, me Zafar.”

“ as long as my part is done in the project there’s no need for this fuss…”

Wasn’t myself, now that was just an exaggeration. I’m doing perfectly fine…I rushed back to my dorm freshening up, it has been the toughest two months in my life. I pick up my phone at least ten times a day trying to shoot her a message but it’ll probably lead to another misunderstanding so I hesitate. When I was wiping the counter in my room I found a huge box under it filled with a bunch of junk.

Confused I take it out, I had completely forgotten about it. The box had the portrait of me that Nura painted, the one that got us into our first fight as friends. Since telling her those words I had never felt at ease, yet I completely dropped her the day she rushed over to Cuba. It was foolish of me to play this whole ghosting game but as far as I know, it’s the only way I know how to deal with what I’m going through.

The majority of my days were spent sulking, I would finish my work early than rush home to stay in my room for the rest of the day, I just didn’t know how to feel about anything at this point in my life.

***

I quickly towel off as I take a break with Mutaq, I was doing okay but still felt a void on the inside of me every time I saw my wallpaper of us together….today was the day i removed it since he's so determined to forget me, then I’ll help him do so. Elam would often call to update me on what was happening at home…I was happy that she finally pulled herself together.

“ Are you still going to keep the story of that scar a secret?”

“which one this one?” I say showing him my palm

“ jee.”

“ it was a little accident that happened on my way home. The usual stuff nothing special to be honest.”

“ every scar is special.”

“What would you say about emotional scars?” I ask moving in closer to him

“ well those are the most painful to deal with...you never know when they'll open up.”

“oh.”

I hadn’t seen much hardship growing up, my problems were always commonly fixable through money or ice cream. I think that’s how I take every disagreement in life, I always knew that there would be a solution to almost everything I went through…even if it meant doing what I wouldn’t normally do.

Today was my first day working at the art studio, every day except for weekends I would immediately rush out no matter what time it was to fill in for my job. My boss Itsuki still had no idea about my art qualification, so I worked under his wing not only as an advisor but as a student as well. Sometimes I would be on the floor promoting the artworks on display.

It felt like a fresh start and kept my mind off the midlife crisis I was going through, it was my safe space I even set up a secret painting area in the storeroom where not many people visit…a little garden of happiness and solitude. After work I would have lunch or just go out for a coffee, snacking over street food. The snow around made the place look beautiful...

“ you done talking to him?” I ask Ameera handing her a kebab

“jee, you know the usual routine. At least he hasn’t lost any trust in me.”

“true, I bought my bike today so we don’t need to take the bus.”

“Awesome.”

Over time Mutaq began shifting his focus onto himself even if he would still effortlessly care for me, the aroma was less tense and he actually smiled from time to time, a rare sighting in the past.

“ still no calls?” he asks handing me a bottle of water

“ Yup, and I don’t think they'll be any…”

“ Zafar loves you…he’ll definitely come back to you.”

“ Mutaq, this time I should be the one who runs to him…”

“ I wish you all the best big sis, ” he said splashing me with a bottle of water.

For some reason, I burst out laughing before beating him up with a glove in the class as I chaise him around the dojo.