Chapter 15

She never saw him again thereafter. Three weeks had passed and everyday when she walked that path, she half expected she would see him on the other side of the bridge again. And everyday she crossed the empty bridge with a sinking heart.

Everytime she was alone, she would put out the gift from the place she hid it, and stared at it. Strangely, everytime she held it close to her, she felt as if he was near. Like she could feel his presence in the little gift. She wondered why he gave her such generous gift. At first, she felt suspicious, but after he didn't show up in a week, she started to believe that it was a sincere gift. And what a miraculous coincidence the gift was.

"I just think that you deserve it."

He said to her. Thinking about it, her heart moved. And she thought she really wanted to give him something in return.

One night when she was laying on her bed, she recalled their moments together and suddenly a thought slipped in her mind, something he once said to her.

"Somehow I know I will suffer my death in a painful and untimely way."

Her eyes opened abruptly in an uneasy feeling, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop thinking about it for some time. She sat up on the bed and started to pray. She felt a little better afterward, and as she rested her head on her pillow, she wondered why she cared about him that much. She had developed a feeling of empathy toward him. One day it just occurred to her a perfect gift for him. She drew out a wooden box from the cupboard, where she put in her precious belongings, and found what she was looking for. She thought she would give it to him.

Everyday she took the path to his place, and she stopped and turned back to the way home at the same exact point. She lost all her guts at the first sight of the rooftop of the cottage. He might not be there today, or if he was there, what if he didn't want her to come? What if he was annoyed rather than pleased to see her? What if he thought that she was ridiculous? What if he mistaken her intention as an attempt to seduce him? And a hundred more 'what if'. No matter how much she wanted to give it to him, she would never be able to brace herself to get in front of the studio door and knock.

One day when she was picking cauliflower in the market, she heard two women near hear talking.

"Ellie, why are you leaving so fast? Come with me and have some talk."

"I can't, I have to go now, I've got plenty to do. His Grace is going to see Reverend Will tomorrow in the morning and visit the church afterward."

Her heart leapt at the mention of his name, his title precisely, and the knowledge of where he would be tomorrow. Ava turned to see the woman and recognized her as the vicar's maid.

"Really? That's great!"

"That's a lot of work. Reverend asked me to rub and polish everything in the church until they shines like new. Got to go now, bye..."

Long after the woman disappeared from her sight, her words stayed in her mind. He would be there. There was a chance. The question was; would she take it or not.

*****

For all his life, Ashton never experienced the kind of disturbance he was facing right now. His wedding was only a month away and he couldn't purge himself of the images of her. He had done the right thing, to leave it forever be a sin he never committed, a mistake he never did. The hardest part was over, but soon he learned that actually it wasn't the farewell that hurt the most, but the knowledge that she was so near, but out of his reach. The fact that he could see her if he wanted to but he couldn't have her.

All his life, he had been leading a perfectly careful, appropriate life that granted him a flawless reputation, until by chance, he was tangled with her in an unexpected situation, and suddenly discovering that his soul, without his being conscious of it, had been ensnared by a wild, romantic, unfortunate infatuation.

He knew such a temporary thing was not to be entertained, especially when it had the potential to ruin the future. He knew attraction was not to be trusted. But as much as he knew about it, after weeks of restless nights, he knew he was fighting a losing battle. He was in the grip of a helpless obsession he had no power to resist. He needed to seek for some serious help.

That was why this morning, in the midst of the week, after listening to some marriage advice from the vicar, he was sitting alone on the front bench in the empty church, staring at the huge crucifix in the center of the room before he closed his eyes, praying in silence God would help him and guide him through this. He wasn't a religious person but he did believe in God. He continued with The Lord's Prayer afterward. Somewhere in the deep, tranquil silence, he felt a sense of peace, as if his prayer was heard.

Ava stopped at the doorway, her heart burst with intense emotion at the sight of his back far ahead. At the very moment she realized just how much she yearned for a glimpse of him. Now that she was there with him, she wasn't sure what to do. She considered to walk in, sit somewhere and start to pray while pretending she hadn't noticed him. But there was nobody else in the church and it was impossible to pretend that she was unaware of his presence.

With a clear mind and a renewed spirit, Ashton got up and smoothed out his coat, then he turned around to leave. And immediately stopped dead in his tracks.

Holy Mother of God!

How could he meet her here? He came to this sacred place to seek for guidance, for enlightenment, for peace, for serenity. He had just prayed to God to deliver him from evil, yet the moment he opened his eyes, the Lord Almighty put this pure temptation right before him. Looked like the Holy Father had decided to keep putting him to the test. Heaven kept sending her again and again into his gravity. Dazed, he ceased to move and stood still as if his feet was rooted to the floor.

For a brief moment, she considered to curtsy or greet him with his title, but she decided quickly that it would be odd. She never curtsied nor greeted him from their first encounter. Looking back at it, she felt strange. What kind of relationship they had? From the first time, there had never been a usual formality between them. She observed him carefully, trying to decipher his reaction. He looked surprised, but there was no signs of irritation.

"I... I didn't expect to see you here." She finally broke the silence.

"Quite a coincidence." He managed to reply.

"Distinctly."

When he didn't move an inch, she forced herself to approach him.

Watching her walk toward him down the aisle, he couldn't help imagining her as a bride, coming toward him in a wedding ceremony. He shook the images off of his head. She halted just a feet away from him.

"Thank you, for the gift. It's beautiful."

"Do you like it?"

"Very much."

"Glad to hear that."

"I thought I would meet nobody here, since it's not Sunday." She couldn't believe she could do such a thing, pretending and telling lies. She had never done anything like this in her life.

"I'm coming in a day like this to have a moment alone."

"I thought the same way... Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you."

"Not at all." He said. "I was just about to leave."

As if he was reminded of what to do, he said thereafter.

"Well, I won't bother you any longer. Have a good day."

He sidestepped around her and strode away. As the sound of his booted feet echoed in the walkway, she battled the doubt suddenly sweeping over her. She had to give it to him now, or she would never had a chance. She had braced herself to come to this place to see him, pretending it was a chance meeting, she had done this deceit for a reason.

"Wait."

He had reached the doorway when she called him. He stopped as he heard her footsteps coming over him. He turned around and she stopped a feet away from him.

"There's something I want to give you."

She pulled out something from her reticule and showed it to him. It was an antique Georgian block compass set in a hinged mahogany case.

"You gave me such a generous gift, I just want to give you something in return."

She passed it to him. He looked at her face as he received it in his unreadable expression.

"It's a lucky charm." She said.

"What?"

"It's not just a compass, it's a lucky charm. It was given to my grandfather by his wife when he was about to travel to India. It was said to have protected him from danger many times during the journey."

He stared at her with wide, disbelieving eyes. After a moment's thinking, finally he replied.

"If it's that precious, why are you giving it to me?"

"I think you need it more than me. You are under an obligation to protect your people, there's a chance you will be involved in some fights again in the future... and... it seems that you have many enemies."

"Not that many."

He smiled at her remarks, and her heart skipped a beat. She thought she would never see that smile again.

"I can't take it. It holds a historical value to your family."

"Please, I want you to have it."

"Your father wouldn't allow it."

"He doesn't care, I found it abandoned and when I asked him, he gave it to me rightaway. I bet he has totally forgotten about it now. He doesn't believe it holds a magical power."

"You believe it has?"

"Yes."

"You're a superstitious girl."

"My grandfather survived a seastorm during the sail and an epidemic of disease in a foreign country." She paused for a while, then she said.

"I pray God will bless you with good health and long life, and keep you safe from evil and harm."

Had he heard all of this from someone else, he might very well mock it, yet he felt his chest stirring with emotion. Painful and heartwarming all at once. It had been a long time since somebody gave him a heartfelt gift and good wishes.

"Do you bring it with you everywhere you go?"

"Yes." Another lie. But it hardly made a difference. This whole 'so-called chance meeting' was a lie, after all. But it was a totally harmless lie, she countered her damned conscience.

"Why give me something as important to you as this lucky charm?"

Because I don't want any harm befall you. Because only thinking about it make me feel terrible.

"Because... it will serve a better purpose in your hand, because this land and the people need you, and you are such a fair ruler."

Not the answer he wanted to hear, she made it sound almost impersonal, but somehow he knew it was anything but.

"And what will protect you now that you've already given it to me?"

"I still have my gun, remember?"

"Seriously?" He chuckled in amusement and she smiled in return.

"Thank you." He finally said. "I'll keep it."

He put the compass into his pocket.

"All right, then. Have a good day." She turned away and walk into the church again.

"Take care."

She heard him saying behind her. She sat somewhere in the middle row, held still for some time before she cast a glance over her shoulder. He had disappeared from the door. No one of them said goodbye today, and for some reason, it didn't feel like farewell. She got a feeling, it wasn't their last meeting and soon they would meet each other again.

"Listen, Polly. The day after tomorrow, I'm going to a neighboring town two days away from here to attend a House Party for a week."

Lady Byrne said as she sat in the small dining room, enjoying biscuits and tea.

"And I want to bring Ava with me, as my companion."

"No way."

Polly replied without looking at her, kneading the dough across the table.

"Find yourself another maid. I've got plenty to do here, who's going to go to the market to sell these?"

"You don't need to sell bread or eggs within the time. I'll compensate your weekly income."

"You must be joking!"

Polly stopped doing her job and stared at the lady in disbelief.

"Not at all. Ava has to come with me to the house party."

"There must be some kind of reason..."

Polly narrowed her eyes in suspicion.

"He will be there, Polly."

"Who?!"

Lady Byrne said in a conspiratorial tone.

"Magnus. Magnus will be there at the house party."

Polly tossed the dough and stared round-eyed at the lady.

"My goodness!!! Are you sure about it? How do you know?"

"I attend the party every year, and his family is always invited."

"Go bring her, then! You don't need to compensate. Take her with you as long as you want!"

"My idea is brilliant, isn't it? But we must keep it a secret. I'm afraid she will refuse to go if she knows she will meet him there."

"Agree." Polly nodded.

"Godspeed. Don't come back empty-handed."

"Of course, I bet my plan will work," the lady said confidently.

"Or I'll compensate you, twice. No, make it three times. Pour me some more tea, Polly. These biscuits are really good."

"Agree! Though I'd prefer you to win."

Polly got up to fill the cup.

"Looking forward to hear the good news."

***

"Are you happy, darling? Beautiful, isn't it? We're going to stay one night in the next town before continuing our journey tomorrow."

Ava heard the lady saying when she was marveling at the breathtaking scenery whirling past the window. She turned to the lady.

"I'm so excited my lady, I didn't travel often. It's just awesome. Thank you for taking me with you, and for all your generosity..."

She looked down at the chantilly-laced dress and the gloves she was wearing. At first, she refused to wear that dress and accessories. However, the lady brought her as a companion and the dress was way too luxurious for an upper servant. Good Lord, she even wore a hat! A fashionable bonnet. It wasn't like it supposed to be. A lady's companion usually wore a simple proper dress in dull color, because they were meant to be unseen. With this expensive dress and accessories, she would rather look like the lady's daughter or relatives, but the lady had insisted that Ava should wear all the fine dresses she bought her.

"Nonsense." The lady said when Ava tried to convince the lady to let her wear her old dress.

"What would people think if my companion wears a shabby old dress? They would think I'm not concerned about my employee's well being."

The first time she looked at her reflection in the mirror, she couldn't believe her eyes. It had been too long since the last time she looked like this, she had almost forgotten it.

"That's more like you." Polly said shortly, and then "Good luck."

"For what?" she asked. She would only play a role as a lady's companion, after all.

"Well, your noble fairy godmother has turned you into a princess. Maybe you'll meet the prince soon after."

"That's silly." She rolled her eyes.

Polly shrugged.

"We'll never know."

Strange, Ava thought. Polly had never been so positive or optimistic. Soon she focused back on the view outside the window. The carriage was running past the seaside down below. She had never seen the ocean from above. What a spectacular sight. The surface of the water gleaming under the sun, revealed a magnificent shade of blue, a very beautiful blue just like... She tore her gaze from the view and rested her back against the plump seat in an uneasy feeling.

Almost every little thing reminded her of him. She couldn't stop herself from continuously thinking about him the past few weeks. Looking back at it, she had been thinking about him since the night he saved her life, but not in the way she did now. At first she only thought about him as her unexpected rescuer. Then without her being conscious about it, something had changed, slowly then suddenly all at once. She couldn't remember exactly when she stopped thinking about Magnus, when she stopped counting days until they met again...

She had to admit that she had a serious crush on him. Any girl would do, she thought. He was a devastatingly attractive man. She didn't need to overthink it or feel guilty about it. Besides, her silly youthful crush would only lead nowhere. But still, she couldn't stem the guilt and restlessness that gripped her.

The carriage rolled down to a narrow path with a row of cottage across the seaside, they were at the frontier of the transit town now.

"We're almost arrived, dear. Look, that's our overnight stay."

Lady Byrne opened the window beside her. Ava looked at a charming country building made of bricks. Lady Byrne had told her about the place. Magnolia Inn, the finest staycation in the small town. The inn located at a sidewalk in front of the ocean. The road settled about two feet higher above the stony beach. Ava could hardly contain her excitement. She had never visited a place quite like this. The road was beautiful in its simplicity and the cool breeze brought the sweet scent of the sea. The sound of the ocean, the comforting rhythm of ebb and flow, she couldn't remember she had ever had a better vacation. Even the glamorous city of London didn't enthrall her like this. Soon after they checked in and had a little refreshments, Lady Byrne told her.

"I'm going to take a nap, dear. Go ahead if you want to go sightseeing."

She thanked the lady and hurried downstairs. She couldn't wait to wander about downtown. There were only three hours left before dinner and she wanted to make the most of it.

*****

"That useless wastrel..." Lord Carlton grumbled in the corner of the carriage.

"Once he comes back, I swear I will have him whipped."

"If you ever lay a finger on my son, Carlton," Lady Cecily tilted her chin up as he glared at her husband.

"By God, I swear I will make you suffer."

Lord Carlton expelled something like a hiss from between his clenched teeth and twitched his mouth shut while his wife turned her head and looked straight to the front. A frosty silence filled the air afterward.

In the opposite seat, Ashton watched the rolling countryside through the window as their carriage got near to their overnight stay. Just half an hour ago, his cousin had escaped from their journey to Granby, to attend Lord Waldorf annual house party. Every year their family came to the party. This year would be more special because the Wyndhams joined them to the party. Lady Waldorf was Selene's aunt from her father's side.

Though every year Magnus consistently showed reluctance to make the journey, it was the first time he fled away in the middle of it. They had stopped by a little inn because Aunt Cecily had an urgent need for the restroom, and in a split second, Magnus had already disappeared from their sight. Later the footman claimed to see him buying a horse from a man in the street and before the footman could stop him, he had already ridden away, leaving his trunk behind. Now that their staycation had come into view, Uncle Carlton better found a good excuse for the Wyndhams about the sudden disappearance of his son.

Ashton was staring absentmindedly at the row of cottages made of bricks when a sight outside the window suddenly knocked the breath out of him. In a distance, a woman with midnight-black hair and pearly skin walking down the street.

Good Lord! He was hallucinating. He started to lose his sanity. He sat upright and peered through the clear window, narrowing his eyes. It couldn't be her. The woman dressed in exquisite gown, not some somber-colored peasant clothes. But the woman looked a great deal like her. Impossible. Were his eyes deceiving him? He must be mistaken, he must be imagining things, like a man lost in the desert, he had seen an illusion of an oasis. Had he been missing her that bad? God knew she was the last thing on his mind before he fell asleep at night and the first thing on his mind when he woke up in the morning. The woman got near with every step and when she was walking past his carriage, he was transfixed. It was her indeed, undoubtedly.

An irrational joy pervaded his entire being, only to be followed by questioning thoughts afterward. What was she doing here? Just two days ago they had accidentally met in the church and she gave him her lucky charm.

Was she just visiting this town? For what purpose? A sudden thought occurred to him. Was she moving to this town? Or was she in the middle of the journey to another town and she was just transitting here?

The thoughts of her leaving his town for good unsettled him. There was a chance, she was a runaway. Probably she got informed that her father or her betrothed had noted her location.

The carriage slowed to a smooth stop, and Freddy opened the door immediately. He watched Aunt Cecily and Uncle Carlton climbing down the carriage first, waiting in growing impatience. The Wyndham's carriage halted behind them. He made a short, polite excuse to Uncle Carlton and Selene's family, implying that he needed to buy something at a local store. That might seem a bit weird and improper, but the only thing that mattered for him now was that he couldn't let her go and disappear without a trace. He couldn't let her pass him by.

He dashed up the narrow road in rapid speed. His mind rioting and his heart pounding. The thought of losing her was extremely terrifying. He expelled a sigh of relief as the sight of her back in a distance caught his eyes. A sudden realization came upon him like a lightning. He thought he had accepted that he had to leave her alone and go on with his life, a life in which she had no share. And he thought he could do perfectly fine with that. But at the very moment he was realizing for the first time, he would only be able to do perfectly fine as long as she was within his reach. He never considered if she was really going.

She was strolling along the sidewalk leisurely, no signs of her being in a hurry. She looked around and stopped a few times to see through the shop window.

Following her in a relatively safe distance, Ashton battled his own conscience. What the blazes was he doing here? If she really left his town permanently, it was good for him. He would be free from a continuous disturbance. Within a month, he would be a husband of another woman. He couldn't entertain this kind of interest forever. To follow his heart like this would only feed his insane obsession. Sooner or later, this infatuation would lead to his downfall.

But he knew neither he or she would allow things to go that far. She was a respectable woman and he knew he couldn't have an illicit tryst with her. There would never be a romantic rendezvous between them. He just wanted to know, if she was leaving and he would never see her again for the rest of his life. He just needed to know.

Far off in the distant recesses of his mind, he knew if she was leaving indeed, he would track her down. The best option for him was to let her go by now, before he got any clue where she was going to.

Against all his conscience and good senses, he came after her in fast, long strides. It was a fight he knew he couldn't win.

Ava went into a small, exciting shop that sold women's stuffs. Through the window, she got a fascinating glimpse of bonnets, gloves, reticules, fans and other necessary items for women. She strolled around the shop in excitement and stopped in front of a stack of small handcrafted mirrors. She took a mirror and lifted it up to the level of her eyes, checking out her face and primping her hair. A reflection of someone behind her caught her eyes. Her heart jumped out of her chest and she turned around instantly.

She froze on the spot as if hypnotized. He was standing in the doorway, a few yards away from her. He didn't seem surprised. He returned her gaze and made his way into the shop.

"Again, quite a coincidence." he said.

Ava blinked.

"How could you be here? I mean... in this town..."

"I'm attending a house party in the neighboring town."

"Me too... I mean I'm escorting my friend... Dowager Countess Byrne. Do you know her?"

He perceived the information quickly, and replied in a casual tone.

"Very well. The dowager countess is your friend?"

"Quite so."

She felt the need to explain further.

"Actually her companion is on leave and she asked me to be a substitute. It's just temporary."

She wasn't leaving.

A tide of relief overtook him. It was absurdly exhilarating. Even as he knew that he couldn't touch her, he wanted her to be around. He never felt like this to a woman before. To care that much and expect nothing in return. What was this insane feeling that possessed him? Wildly illogical, unreasonable, irrational.

"Seems like we'll see each other quite often a week ahead. I'm quite sure the countess is attending the same event as I am. Lord Waldorf's house party?"

He had to fix his voice to hide the rough exaltation there.

"Certainly." She looked at him in astonishment.

"It's a strange coincidence, isn't it?"

"Absolutely."

From the second they met, he never strayed his eyes from hers as if he was mesmerized. Suddenly being aware of it, she turned her face, pretending to look around the shop.

"Um, are you looking for something in particular?"

"I'm looking for... a local souvenir."

She hesitated for a while, but finally said.

"This is women's shop."

"Of course. I'm looking for something... for my fiancée."

"Oh... sure."

Somehow the mention of his fiancée pricked her. An image of Lady Selene flashed in her mind, and for some reasons, it made her feel an uncomfortable tightness in her chest.

He moved toward her and she couldn't help her heart racing as he got near. She caught her breath when he stopped and stood so close, the tip of his boot touched the hem of her skirt. In the poor lit side of the room, his eyes sparkled as if they were made of precious stones. She never knew his eyes could hold a million stars until she looked at them this close.

She wasn't supposed to feel this, she wasn't supposed to hold onto this feeling. But she couldn't stop herself. Every look, every smile made her heart beat merrily and painfully all at once.

"These mirrors are beautiful. Can you help me choose one for her?"

She expelled a long breath furtively as he sidestepped her, moving to across the shelf. He stood at the opposite side of the shelf, casually checking some of the stuffs.

"I'm not sure I can choose something good enough for a lady like her."

She was fascinated by the long eyelashes casting a shadow on his cheeks as he cast his eyes down the stacks of mirrors. She took the chance to stare at him when he was scrutinizing an oval mirror.

"You have an exquisite taste."

"How do you know?"

"I just know."

Most likely he referred to the dress she was wearing, again she explained.

"Actually these dress and everything I'm wearing are from the lady, I can't afford it."

"That suits you."

He glanced at her as he said that.

"Thank you."

She looked down instantly, pretended to check some of the stuffs again, suddenly feeling shy.

Oh my. What symptoms were these? Just a glance and a few words, and she blushed from head to toe. She didn't blush easily at men's compliments, and she wasn't a sheepish person at all. Also, that probably wasn't an honest compliment. Perhaps he was just being polite.

"Which one do you think the best?" he asked.

"It depends... Does she like something simple and sweet like this,"

She put out an oak frame mirror carved with flowers with a tiny sparrow perched on the side.

"...or something more elegant and classic like this one?"

She showed him a gold frame mirror carved with complicated Victorian ornaments.

"I don't know."

He replied after a moment's thinking, then moved to another shelf behind.

"How could you? She is your fiancée."

"I was betrothed to her even before I knew her name."

She was silent for a moment.

"So was I..."

"Do you know much about him?"

"No..."

Looking back at it, she knew nothing about Roger but his gambling habit. She didn't even know his favorite color.

"But I knew him well enough to know that he is not worth keeping."

A smile crossed his face, flashing his straight white teeth and that dimples, and she moved toward him as if hypnotized, following him unconsciously.

"What makes a man worth keeping, then?" he asked.

"What?"

She thought she had misheard him.

"You said you don't know much about your betrothed but you know well enough that he is not worth keeping."

He locked his eyes on hers as he continued.

"What kind of man you consider to be worth keeping?"

She was slightly taken aback by the unexpected question, but it seemed like he was waiting for her to answer.

"Well... He must be able to accept all of me, good and bad... He treats me as an equal... He doesn't look down upon me because of my... indecent status."

She halted instantly, suddenly recalled how he scorned her at every turn in the past. She was just about to turn away from this conversation when he moved toward her.

"What else?"

His eyes held hers captive. He looked straight into her eyes so intensely she couldn't look away.

"He shows up for me even when it's inconvenient... He is willing to put in the effort to be with me even when he knows it's going to be hard, and..."

Her words trailed off.

She must be insane, ranting about her romantic notions in front of him like this. But he was the one who asked her in the first place, and it seemed like he was really paying attention to what she said.

"And?"

"Forget it." She tore her gaze from him.

"And what?" he demanded.

"He is not afraid of taking risks and giving up something important or valuable for the sake of being together with me."

She stepped back as if she wanted to break the invisible bond. It bothered her. She tended to comply with his order whenever he talked to her in that authoritative manner.

"You must think I'm asking for too much."

She turned to the shelf and pretended to be busy choosing mirrors again, couldn't stand to meet his eyes.

"I think you really know your worth."

His response took her by surprise. Did he really think so?

"I believe someday you will find a man that you deserve."

It seemed that his answer moved her, because she looked up at him instantly, looking straight into his eyes. He had never been stared at this intense.

"I think I just found a perfect one." She said.

His heart skipped a beat at once and for the first time in his life words failed him. He forgot to breathe or blink, totally caught in dumb bewilderment.

"This one." She said again. He tried to perceive it but he didn't get it.

"What?"

"The mirror..."

She looked confused. He just realized she was showing an oak frame mirror carved with leaves and acorns to him.

"What do you think?"

It took a long while for him to recover from the momentary lapse.

"Lovely. I'll take this one."

He took the mirror from her and pretended to scrutinize it.

"Thanks for your help. Really appreciate it."

"You're welcome."

She felt a bit nervous after the awkward situation a moment ago, so she made an excuse for leaving.

"I have to go back to the inn now."

"Where are you staying?"

"Magnolia Inn. And you?"

"You won't believe it."

He couldn't tell if Heaven was trying to give him a sign or put him into the test over and over again. Either way, he wouldn't miss this chance. If it was a sign, he would follow the guidance, otherwise he would just test his limit.

"Seriously?" She looked at him in disbelief.

"How curious."

"Let me walk with you to the inn." He said unexpectedly.

"That... that would be inappropriate."

She was quite taken aback by his invitation.

"We are in a strange place. Nobody knows who we are."

He was right. Nobody would care about it here.

"All right."

She said before she had the time to think twice or change her mind.

As they walked out of the shop, she stole a glance at him. A man like him was like a bird of prey in the sky, beautiful yet far beyond her reach. She could only admire him from a distance. But now when he was so close, walking by her side, talking to her, with no one else between, she could pretend that he was all hers.

"The greatest moments in life come unexpectedly." her mother once said. "You cannot plan them, they catch us, they seize us, not the other way around."

Just like this time, and why wouldn't she let it seize her?

Ava noticed that he didn't offer her his arm as gentlemen usually did to their female acquaintance. Perhaps it was a little reminder of her place even in this stolen moment. But she wouldn't let it bother her.

"I doubt you will ever be able to escape people's notices everywhere you go, but here you don't need to worry about their opinions and judgements."

She said after some time, fully aware of some curious stares following them all along.

"Exactly."

It seemed that he really enjoyed the momentary freedom.

"It feels good to be just another nameless face in the crowd. To be seen with no expectation."

His answer got her thinking.

"I suppose it's not easy to be someone like you. All the needs to comply with the requirements and to meet people's expectations all the time..."

She observed him with eager curiosity.

"Is this a kind of life that you want?"

"It doesn't matter what I want. My life is not my own to do as I please. There are many things to consider and there are my family and my people to do right by."

From his answer, she was certain that he was taught to live with an attitude of self-sacrifice. She remembered when she asked him how he felt about his uncle's order to eliminate the villains. She remembered perfectly he said something like this.

'Like it or not, somebody has to do it.'

"Don't you think it's burdensome to have to meet the approval of someone else in everything you do?" She asked again.

"It's the consequences of being in my position. I've found a way to cope with requirements and demands at an early age."

"Have you ever imagined how does it feel to live another life that is totally different from your life now?"

"What do you mean another life?"

"I ofttimes wondered would I be happier if I were someone else, if I did different things... Just imagine if you were free to choose, what would you do with your life?"

He was silent for a long while, she started to think she had crossed the line.

"I think I'll be a painter and travel around the world to learn from the world's greatest artists."

The moment he said it, it surprised him to realize just how much similarities between him and his father. What he wanted was just exactly what his father did. But there was a huge difference between them. He didn't let passion overtake him. He made different choices.

"If you were given the chance, would you choose a life of your own free will

over your life now?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I believe this is for the best."

"For who?"

"For everyone... I wasn't born to this world out of my own free will. I was born because of the will of my parents and my family. There's a purpose for my existence, and it is more important than my own aspiration. I have to carry out my duties. If I just leave to pursue my own passion, there will be severe consequences not only for me, it will impact on many people, many things..."

Both of them lost in their own deep thinking. She thought of how very different he was from Magnus. Magnus was free-spirited, he was not constrained by social convention, and when it came to his passion, nothing could hold him back. Magnus wouldn't let something like obligation or responsibility to his family burden him, let alone stopping him from pursuing what he really wanted.

Ahead of them, suddenly a boy in ragged, dirty clothes dashed from the opposite side of the street, colliding with a well-dressed country gentleman on his way.

Ava startled when Ashton snatched the boy as he rushed past them, knocking something out of him. A chain watch fell on the ground. The boy's face went pale, and he tried to run off, but a steely grip in his hand held him in place. Ava watched in consternation as he spun the boy around so the little pickpocket stood with them facing the same direction. The poor boy flinched in distress. Looking at how thin the boy was, she couldn't help feeling a great pity for him. His bones stuck out and his dirty face looked gaunt.

"Wait, please....." She put a hand on his arm.

"Sir." Ashton called the gentleman.

"You dropped something."

Oh, dear. He didn't care about it.

The man turned toward them and looked down at the ground immediately. He groped beneath the fabric of his pocket reflexively as he saw the chain watch lying on the ground.

The boy's eyes widened in fear, his mouth gaped open. The boy waited in pure terror, but the man who captured him said nothing more.

The older gentleman glanced at the urchin in suspicion.

"Thank you, sir."

The man didn't shift his gaze from the boy as he came near and bent down to pick the chain watch. He studied them in silence for a while before asking.

"Tell me, sir. Did that monkey try to steal it?"

The boy suddenly quivered in his hand. Ava glanced at him, catching her breath.

"By no means. And this boy is no monkey, he is my coachman's son."

Ava felt quite taken aback by his answer, at the same time, she felt a measure of relief.

The gentleman stared at them suspiciously, but finally he said.

"Very well, then. Thanks again."

"Don't mention it."

After the gentleman had left, Ashton turned to the boy.

"How long have you been doing this?"

The boy winced under his stare. Ava eyed the boy curiously. He was about eleven or twelve, with night black hair just like hers. Even under the muck covering most of the skin in his face, she could see the urchin was remarkably handsome, but not his impressive features that made her staggered in a startling second. It was the unusual blue of his eyes that held her captive. It was the same shades of blue with the duke. No one had eyes that color but him. The boy's eyes looked extremely big in his skeleton face. She glanced quickly at him to see if he noticed the resemblance between him and the kid, but he seemed unaware of that fact.

"Are you doing this job for someone?"

"Nn..no, sir..." the boy stammered. "I'm an orphan, sir. I'm on my own. I have no other way to buy me food."

He studied the boy for a while, considering his answer.

"What's your name?"

"Matthew, sir."

"Have you ever been caught in the act of your thieving ways before, Matthew?"

"No, sir..."

"Do you know what might happen if you're caught by somebody else?"

The boy swallowed and shook his head.

"If you're lucky, you'll be arrested and put in jail for some time, but if you're not, you'll be beaten until you're totally bruised and battered, probably until you catch your death."

He paused at the boy's terrified expression.

"I wouldn't like it either way if I were you."

"Me neither, sir..."

He set the frightened boy free. Matthew cast his eyes down, dared not to look at him.

"Where do you live?"

"I... I live in the streets, sir."

"Where do you sleep at night?"

"Anywhere, sir... Mostly in an alley..."

"Have you no relatives?"

The urchin shook his head.

Ava felt compassion for the poor boy flame in her bowels. How could a child as frail as he, bore such a hard life alone? He was nothing but skin and bones, it seemed like a good wind could knock him over.

She saw Ashton taking out some money from his pocket.

"This is to buy your food today, and this one,"

He gave the boy a namecard.

"Find a man named Freddy in Magnolia Inn and show him this. He'll take care of you."

The boy took the namecard timidly. Ava saw his mouth twitching as he read the name on it.

"You can come anytime, just remember we would be leaving tomorrow morning at nine o' clock. We won't wait for latecomer."

"Thank you, sir..."

The boy looked up at the duke, surprisingly he dared to stare at him longer this time, as though he just found something about him. The boy sidestepped around them, still turning his head toward him, before he scurried away and disappeared amongst the crowd.

"What are you going to do with him?"

She asked.

"Get him a roof over his head and three meals a day, for the time being. Still figuring out what to do next."

Ashton stared at the direction where the urchin was last seen. For some curious reason, he felt a strange protective instinct for the boy, like he was obliged to do more than just giving a little help.

Ava was quite surprised with his answer.

"I thought you will give him a job."

"He is too young."

"That's very kind of you."

She gave him a sideways glance.

"At first I thought you would have him arrested."

"He is just a child, an unfortunate one."

"But I guess it's his luckiest day. I believe you will take good care of him."

She paused for a while. After a moment's thinking, she said carefully.

"You do understand that you have to be very careful with him, don't you?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean... I know your intention is good, but you have to stay wary..."

"You want to say, there's a chance he mean to take advantage of it and do something bad instead."

She searched desperately for a right word to say it, she didn't want him to change his mind about helping Matthew, but she also had a little worry. The boy was a street urchin after all. Undoubtedly he was shaped by a harsh and difficult upbringing. There was a chance that his kindness would turn to have an adverse effect on him.

"I know there are risks involved in helping people, but my instinct told me this one is harmless."

He was right, the worst case was the boy stole things and ran off. Thinking about Matthew, she felt curious. The boy's face, his beautiful features was somewhat too refined for a commoner.

The boy really looked like him in some way, she considered to tell him, but she decided not to say anything. It would be terribly offensive to compare a high-ranked nobility like him with a guttersnipe.

Stealing a glance at him, at his expressionless face, she knew that the cold mask could no longer deceive her. She had seen the man beneath the facade, surprisingly different from what she thought of him at the first time. He wasn't superficial and self-centered. He wasn't all arrogant and ruthless. He put his duty first and put his heart aside, and he was somewhat sensitive and caring. And in moment like this, sometimes she got too comfortable with him, she forgot to stay distant and she talked to him like they were friends.

"The gentleman you helped must have thought you are a frugal employer. Your coachman's son dresses in rags."

She chuckled at the thought and he grinned.

"Fortunately he doesn't know who I am."

That smile. It was difficult to look away, it kept her absolutely riveted, until he noticed her staring and returned her gaze. She looked down with a guilty blush across her cheeks.

It was a perfect autumn day. The sky was tinged with a shade of bluish grey, the wind came softly with sweet-scented gusts from the sea. It felt like they were in another world, a small world of their own. In the world where nobody knew who they really were, suddenly their differences had no meaning, and they were just theirselves, a man and a woman, walked side by side out in the streets, mingling freely with the crowds without worry. She imagined it as a borrowed time, a short moment when she could pretend they were anything they were not, anything they would never be. As if universe answered her mind, a little girl with a basket of flowers bumped into them.

"Buy a flower for your lady, sir."

The little girl offered him a basket full of roses.

"I'm not his lady."

Ava corrected immediately. The little girl blinked at her, seemed startled and confused. Ava felt an instant guilt, it seemed like her unexpected reaction was a bit harsh, the wide smile on the little girl's face faded.

"We'll buy it anyway."

He said quickly and reached into his pocket and gave the girl some shillings.

"Here, how many flowers can I get with these?"

The girl's eyes rounded as big as saucer.

"You can get all these flowers!"

She snatched the money and cried in excitement.

"And you can take the basket too, as a free gift."

The little girl gave him the basket of flowers and bounced down the street, turning back once again and gave them a happy wave.

"Thank you sir! You both look great together."

Her cheeks turned rosy and she avoided to meet his eyes.

"Here." He passed the basket of roses to her.

"Thank you." She said as she took it, suddenly feeling awkward and a bit embarrassed.

"Not at all." He said. "I bought it only to make the girl happy."

Even though it was so, but she felt like she was caught in a beautiful dream. Strolling down the street with him in a fine afternoon, and he bought her a bunch of roses. Unbelievable. They said nothing as they sauntered along the way, in a companionable silence when words were no longer necessary, as if their minds talked to each other in a train of hidden thoughts.

It was a beautiful dream indeed, so beautiful it was almost painful when it had to end. The sight of the seaside street where their inn located came into view. The dream receded into reality, and she ceased to step. She didn't want to wake up but it was time.

"We have to part company here. It would not be seemly nor wise for us to be seen together."

She felt a twinge of bitterness as she said it. Now they were back in their places, the nobility and the indecent all over again.

"After you."

He stopped walking to let her walk ahead of him.

She left him and walked into the inn. Even without looking back at him, she knew in every step that he was watching her. There was no conscious reasoning, there was no proof or evidence, but she had an unexplained feelings that there was something between them. A trace of feelings, a spark, she sensed it everytime they met, from the slightest brush of skins to each stolen glance, the tension was invisible yet almost palpable. Even in their quiet walk, when they didn't touch or look at each other. As she made her way upstairs, her mind was occupied with disturbing thoughts. If she followed this dangerous attraction, in the end it would only leave her with nothing but agony. Or it could be worse than a painful heartbreak. Much worse. He made her wanted to do what she shouldn't do.

The sudden realization alarmed her in one startling moment, made her took a halting step at the door to the lady's room at the inn. She closed her eyes with her hand on the door handle. She had to stop it before she made a mistake she couldn't fix. A fatal mistake that lead to a path she always tried to escape.

*****