+1 Bitches

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A year older but I don't feel a thing

Playlist for this chapter: It's my birthday by Anne Marie

It's gonna be a long chapter, grab a snack and enjoy.

Hit that star with a fist

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5 4 3 2 1

"Thank you you for the happiest year of life", I whispered staring at my alarm clock as the hits 12:00, just them my subconsciousness chipped in.

You weren't really happy you know that right?my subconscious mocked,

I scoffed pushing the thought to the depth of my mind, today is a happy day to day I turn 18,

"I'm 18 bitches" I uploaded +1 on my WhatsApp status, with the TikTok video I made last night. I have to happy, no more depressed years for me.

I have always wondered what it would feel like.

Buh I feel normal,. Like nothing changed. I'm ready to take on life, as a legal adult.

"A new age nothing special no drama, just peace" I repeated my birthday mantra.

Well you are a beacon that draws drama so I would love to see how that unfolds...

I really need to shut my subconsciousness off, it's started to get demoralizing.

Looking around my dimly lit room, the led lights around the corner glowed, and they were annoying, I slept with my lights now now they just piss me off, I loved the darkness.

Pushing my self off the bed and falling flat on my butt,

I finally forced my self up, walking towards the light switch I flipped it over.

My phone screen lits up, and the song Trust my lonely by Allesia cara rang out as the phone stated it's vibrations. "God I hate my birthdays, people are always calling like can't you just ignore me like every other day of the year"

if you weren't such a loner you would actually appreciate people calling you.

My subconsciousness chimed in, I had to agree but that doesn't stop my eye roll pushing my self towards the phone.

I inwardly groaned, staring at the phone on the bed, it was an high school friend, Jide. We weren't all that close just a few hi's and hey's in schools and and a few projects done at my place

I guess he was just returning the favor.

I texted him on his birthday, just text me instead please

"Maybe if I Ignore the call he won't call back" I smirked laying on my bed, grabbing my TV remote control, "Shit" I cursed loudly as the bright screen pulled tears to my eyes".

Blinking a few times, my eyes adjusted to the brightness, About to pick a show the call rang again, "Doesn't he give up"

Picking up my iphone 12 pro , and pulling my headphones on, I picked up the call.

"Hey dear" His really low voice rumble at the other end of the receiver and not the sexy make your weak in the knees.

And to think you actually had a crush on him, he sounds like a dad in his early 50ies and it's gross.

I have to agree with my subconsciousness this time, he sounds old,

"Hi Jide what's up", I couldn't hide the discomfort in my voice but he seemed to be clueless, he was always clueless.

"Well it's your birthday today, you are finally legal, happy birthday babe" I scoffed I wasn't his babe.

"Well thanks, and yeah I'm finally a legal adult" I sound so on the edge right now.

"You have plans for today?"

Okay now he is crossing a line,

"Well yes I made plans already" I lied,

lying comes easy to me it's a skill that took years to acquire.

"Oh well okay, let me leave you to get some sleep them, have fun today, bye dear" I could feel the disappoinment in his voice.

I felt proud, "Sure thanks Jide the call meant a lot" Another lie, why am I so good at this?.

"sure bye, uhm..." I ended the call before he could finish his statement and immediately left my phone on flight mood.

I sighed plugging it back and detaching my headphones from my ears and from the phone itself,

"Now for some peace and quiet, a little serial killer movie to soothe my soul" I turned on my Tv and played a new movie recommendation.

Brazen started to play on the screen.

Waking up to the sound of plates clanging and a 7 year old high pitched scream, I looked towards my wall clock, it was 9:15.

"Woah what time did I sleep?" I whispered pushing myself off the bed still laying on the floor, I feel much more energetic but I still wanted a little more sleep.

"Ari! Ari!" I heard my little step sister, Anuoluwa's high pitched calling at the other side of my door, "well there goes my sleep"

She got impatient and stared banging on my door, "I'm coming pumpkin" I cringed at my voice.

Groaning as I got up, my neck made a pop sound as I twisted it in opposite directions, I heard her excited giggles she was definitely on her tippy toes.

Opening my door, she came at me, lunching her self into the air, I caught her then slipped, crashing backwards as I staggered to gain my composure but we both ended up on the floor.

I waited patiently for her to cry or wail in discomfort but instead she stared at me for three seconds the stared a new fit of laughter.

Wow she is happy

I had no choice but to join in, rubbing the back of my head,

That hurt.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you"

"Happy birthday, happy birthday"

"Happy birthday to you"

She sang all keys off and I cringed buh the smile on my face never left, "Thanks love"

She beamed from ear to ear, I have a gift for you. She was bouncing on her tippy toes no, pulling me out if my room.

"Hold on, let me have my bath and grab my phone, I'll come down soon" She stayed in front of me crossing both arms with a frown on her face.

"I promise" She finally loosened up, skipping out of my room downstairs, I sighed locking my door. Picking my phone up, I connected it to my Bluetooth speaker.

Hitting play on Audio mark, Omah lay Godly started playing on shuffle mood, throwing back my phone on the bed, I still left it on flight mood, I don't want any calls.

Walking into my white walled bathroom, I turned to look at my self in the mirror. Sighing as I stripped down slowly till I was bare and I noticed no changes in my body.

The scars never left, I did grow all little on the back, I smirked dancing to the song playing, finally waking under the shower I turned on the water.

A small sigh escaped my lips as the warm water consumed me, working it way down to all every inch on my body.

I grabbed my Elixir body wash, and my sponge, washing my self clean and taking longer than expected, I take long shower, I mean bathing is therapy.

Sighing as the water washed off the soap lather, I grabbed my bath robe, walking bath into the bathroom and towards my skin care cupboard.

I'm a nerd yes, I'm a loner yes but I was also an hygiene freak, and I have decided to always take care of my skin.

You hurt yourself too that's not care

I groaned, "That's all in the past now, Rehab worked and I'm fine. I hope" I whispered to myself picking out all my body lotion and facial cream.

After my morning bath routine I walked back into my room and back to my wardrobe, pealing it open I picked my overly big sweat shirt and a blue short.

Putting them on I re styled my hair which was a really long dread crochet, into a high buh. Walking back to my speaker. Calm down by Rema was now playing.

Turning it off, I finally switch on my phone back to it's normal mode to accept call, all I needed now was coffee or sugar in my system.

Walking out to the lobby, I walked down the stairs of our duplex, and directly into the kitchen. I was greeted with Anu dancing wildly on the kitchen island.

Laughing, I turned to my step mum, she was trying to get her daughter to behave. "Anu please come down and take your cereals"

She turned to face me, opening her arms she was clearly asking for a hug which I smiled giving her a tight squeeze. " Happy birthday love"

"Thanks ma" I smiled pulling out of the hug, facing backwards as my step dad came into the view with a trumpet.

I mean he was good at it but seriously, he played the tune 'happy birthday to you'.

"Hey pops, thanks for the grand surprise even the queen of England heard my birthday song" I smiled taking my seat on a table as Anu claimed my legs as her new seat.

"Happy birthday kiddo" He patted my head placing his trumpet back on the table, careful not to hit the pancakes stacked on the table.

Well I know y'all must be wondering a step mum and a step dad. Funny story, I'll tell a summary. Well I am your definition of family issues. I won't bore you with my long story so I'll be brief.

My mum died during my birth, that was today 18 years ago, my dad remarried the beautiful after eight years of her demise he married the woman I now call mum, she was a surgeon at the time and was barely home, she was young and she took care of me but I gave her a hard time as I was well being abused and my dad warned me to keep badluck away from her.

Before he married her, one night he came home drunk, it wasn't the first time but this time was different the murdeeous gaze,Ade me recoil from greeting him that night, I remember him throwing me across the kitchen calling me brat, the fear made me run from him but I was too small.

I was 6 years old, his words of condemnation telling me to never sing again, and not talk him that I killed my mum and I was the cause of her death. I don't need to go one with the gory details but that night still gives me panic attacks.

Crazy right? Well it went on for 8 years, he would cut me with life's and made me clean them up, he told me the day my step mom found out was the day I die. Too scared to say anything about it I lived with the fear of what happens when she lives for work.

The scars would get infected and he would teach me how to clean cuts when he was sober and how to conceal them with makeup, he stopped me from going to school and got me a home school teacher, it went on I got used to the routine, till she caught him one day, with a knife and I was in the corner crying with the blood now pooling at my feet he lost control that day and got extremely drunk he hurt me in the broad daylight while my stepmom was home. she filled for divorce and won custody of me.

Sorry I suck at story telling, I know. My dad was in jail now but that didn't stop me from being kidnapped when I turned 15 now that is a story for another day, After a year from all the traumatizing details I left out, she remarried the man I now called dad, Two years later they had Ari.

Well that's was brief, years of pain and depression explained in a few minutes.

I zoned back to earth, Smiling at my family now. The cake on the table was bright pink, no name no age just plain.

Just the way I liked it, "It's red velvet" My step mum stopped my day dream about the cake, we all took a sit at the table, Anu hopped of my leg running upstairs.

"She has a gift for you" My step dad Biola talked with his mouth full of pancakes, I giggled as his wife glared at him, I heard a thump sound and a small squeal.

"She fell" I mummured also with a mouth full of pancakes, it was bad habit I picked up from he don't blame me.

She finally came back downstairs skipping two steps at a time, she nearly slipped.

"Be careful honey" Her dad called out as we watched her run towards me with her hand behind her back. He passed me my morning cup of coffee.

"Thank you" I took a really big gulp, it was hot but I didn't care. Placing the cup back on the table. I looked back up at the kid approaching me. She was a few feets away

She stopped in front of me smiling, her hands still hidden, "Close your eyes" wow bossy much I did as she asked.

"Open your palm" I did as I was told.

"Now open your eyes" I looked down at the necklace on my palm, it was beautiful, I looked up at her with a smile.

Picking it up, it had the words big sister engraved on the heart shaped pendant "You are going to school soon so I wanted you to have something to remember me with something you will never ever ever ever take off"

Someone please tell me how the hell is this girl 6 years old.

Finally my subconsciousness didn't insult me this time, the coffee is working

"Honey, you are my sister and I'll never forget you" I smiled kissing her forehead, her eyes lit up in admiration.

Damn I love this girl!

I thought to my self smiling as I looked back at the pair of eyes staring at us

"She thought of this herself?" I turned back to my step mum and dad. "All on her own, that was what she requested for, she promised to pay me back when she is 20"

Her mum added laughing, I gave a hug putting my new necklace on, "Now I have something I am never taking off"...

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