WHAT I REALLY MEANT

18 FEBRUARY, THURSDAY, DINNER

Nothing happened at dinner today. And when I said "nothing happened", I really meant nothing that I had hoped happened. Specifically, Bell didn't show up. To be fair, he never said he was coming for dinner tonight, but you know, sometimes he pops up early for Thursday Night Training, and I had hoped. I mean, Boo had hoped. I couldn't care less. Yeah.

Luckily, no one seemed to notice my lack of enthusiasm over dinner time. And when I said "no one"", I really meant Mum, who had a knack to pointing it out to the entire dinner table whenever something was "off" about me. Tonight, Mum was exhausted and her wolf was frazzled at the edges - which was a rare sight, so it surprised me too.

Mum was worried about the Lorents coming over tomorrow night. She had been stressed all day about it. Of all the days for the Lorents to come, and the plants in our glass room had chosen to look sullen lately, and after closer inspection, she found little bugs in the soil. She had to replant and clean out most of them. It was a good thing Ki was running errands for groceries and was kind enough to buy soil and pots.

Also, the pool room smelled moldy. It was probably too humid in the room. Dad had men come to clean out the entire pool, but it wasn't the pool water itself that smelled bad. The pool filter and salt was doing its job. It was the dampness along the tiles and stair banister, and shower curtains in the changing room that was the problem. Mum was really frustrated. Our two most defining rooms of our unique Alpha house were both in its worst state ever since we've moved in. Ki and her had to troubleshoot, and after a lot of research online, they've decided to lower the temperature of the pool, and scrubbed down all the ledges with baking soda.

To add to the hassle, the damages to the wall nearly couldn't be fixed because the stock of wallpaper the store carried was new - and a shade darker than ours due to it being dyed from a different manufacturing batch. Luckily Ki managed to find some leftover paper and it was just enough to replace the wallpaper the workmen had to remove to fix the broken panel. I don't suppose Mum would just leave it there, and then explain to the Lorents, "Your son did this."

Who knows? They might even foot the bill. But of course, Mum would never do anything like that.

So much stress.

No wonder Ben said Ki was overloaded today.

Dad rubbed Mum's back, "Darling, I'm sure everything will be alright."

"It's not like they're here to inspect our wallpaper, Mum." I told her. (Or our pool either.)

"No matter what you do, the Lorents are going to come in thinking our home is a dighny little thing compared to theirs." Savy informed her.

Yeah, we were so supportive of our dear Mum like that.

"The house is fine." Dad informed Savy.

Mum gave a little moan, "Yes, I know... It's really nothing to do with the house at all."

Oh, so this was one of those "woman things" where Mum was bothered by something, but taking it out on something else? (Beta Lucas had explained this phenomenon to me years ago, so I understood it. And when I said "I understood", I really meant, I understood that I would never understand it. )

"I guess I'm just nervous. It's the first time our home is hosting another Alpha family." Mum sighed, "I want to do it right."

Which was true. We had never even invited Grandpa Alpha or Grandma Luna over before. Dad had said it was more trouble than it was worth. Dad always met his guests at the Packhouse. I've always assumed that was the norm, but now I'm also beginning to wonder if my Dad's reclusive reputation wasn't only because the Green Packlands was all the way to the other side of the continent.

Maybe Dad was sparing Mum the trouble of "doing it right" all these years.

"I don't want them to leave thinking that their son is going to marry into a barbarian family." Mum worried.

"Better a happy barbarian family than a stuffy dysfunctional one." I said.

"Sam!" Mum immediately gasped, "That's no way to speak of your mate's family!"

"Sam's mate is Luna Bell." Sabre decided to inform us all, "He's hot."

Mum looked aghast, "Baby, that's no way to speak about your sister's mate!"

Sabre cocked her head to the side, "But that's what all the other girls say."

Omo.

Savy cackled, just a little. The first smile/laugh all evening.

I guess she was still going through her "rebellious teenage phase". How long did Harvey say these things lasted?

Anyway, mum decided to teach us the proper terms to describe the Lorents, "The Lorent family is a prestigious and traditional family and Bell is a very polite and capable young man."

I supposed that wasn't a lie either.

"There is always two sides to every coin, girls. And I want you always to remember that whenever you meet someone new." Mum told us.

It wasn't the first time I've heard this, Mum liked to repeat this type of things a lot. Unlike Mr Lark, Mum never used a textbook, but she liked to revise the "key concepts" over and over as if we were headed towards some kind of big examination.

"What about us, Mum?" I wondered, "How do you say barbaric family in a nice way?"

Mum pursed her lips, "Sam! We're not a barbaric family! Who told you that? We're a down to earth and free spirited family."

I nodded. Yeah, we were perfect that way.

"Now say Dad is a mad maverick in a nice way." I looked at Mum expectantly. This was pretty fun.

"Your dad is a resourceful and hardworking alpha." Mum protested.

"Ingenuity is difficult to comprehend at first sight." Dad agreed. I would like to point out that Dad's zenness was hard to understand too.

"Now say, Ki is a major playboy." I was really getting into this new game.

"Ki is a charming and gentle wolf. Sam... Who have you been talking to?" Mum put her hands on her hips, but only in mock anger.

"Social media." I quipped with my usual grin.

Ki was smiling like the flower to the sun, "Thank you for your compliment, Luna."

I chuckled. Savy was cackling freely now. Sabre laughed although I doubt she got the joke.

"Now say... what should we make Mum say next?" I asked my sisters.

"Say Mrs Beta is bad a cooking." Sabre prompted. Oh, since when did Sabre taste Mrs Beta's cooking?

"Mrs Beta is a very talented scholar and a very lovely friend who tried her best to babysit you today." Mum corrected Sabre.

"She made my mac and cheese taste like glitter and glue." Sabre said. Oh, since when did Sabre taste glitter and glue?

"Say how you think I'm difficult and apathetic, and you hate my music." Savy said.

"You're independent, and complex, and I don't hate your music." Mum said, and then she added, "It's the volume that gets me."

Savy cackled, just very softly, "Okay, I won't play it so loud in the morning."

"And I'll try to be more understanding of my beautiful girls." Mum said, "I was reflecting today, and I realized the world you're growing up in, is so much more complicated than what I had to deal with as a teenager. I should be more supportive."

"No Mum, you're doing fine." Savy said. And since Savy was even more adverse to dramatic bouts of emotion than I was, she quickly changed the subject, "Tomorrow will be fine too. You don't have to worry. I'll help with Sabre after school."

Mum brightened up at that.

So did Sabre, "Yay! I mean, Mrs Beta is a very talented scholar and a very lovely friend, but I like to eat food that tastes like food."

I guess small kids - even human ones, were instinctive when it came to survival like that. Ben and Lizzy stopped eating their Mum's cooking from a very young age too. I heard they lived on cold cereal and Oreos. Okay, I'm exaggerating, Beta Lucas and Mrs Beta also take out all their meals from the packhouse kitchen. Its a good thing they only live next door, huh?

Anyway, that was how Mum and Savy made up from whatever happened this morning. I was surprised at my relief. I mean, it had nothing to do with me, but somehow home felt much more comfortable now.

After that it felt like the atmosphere at the dinner table relaxed even more. Mum seemed happier overall about having the Lorents over tomorrow. She even said how she was looking forward to the canapes Ki had planned, and how exciting it would be to dress up and dine in our own home.

We "dine" in our own home everyday. But Mum said she meant with wine and everything.

Savy seemed happier now that she had made up with Mum. I totally got how that felt. Whenever I upset Mum, guilt would slowly eat me up inside... in constant little nibbles, so I couldn't ignore it and I would have to suffer it for as long as it took to get me to make it up to her. When I grow up and become a Mum, I need to ask Mum to teach me this superpower.

Sabre seemed happier now that she was assured of meals that would taste like food tomorrow. Savy even promised her a makeover before the guests came.

"I want to be a princess." Sabre informed her.

"Which one?" Savy asked.

"My favorite one." Sabre said.

"Which one is that?" Savy asked.

"Don't you know?" And then Sabre ROLLED HER EYES (who had she been talking to?), "Ariel! How could you not know that?"

Yeah, because it was basic knowledge that even a 5 year old knew. How the hell could we have known if she never told us?

"Oh, I see." Savy nodded, "Because she has red hair like yours?"

What about Princess Anna, or Princess Merida?

But Sabre shook her head, "No, because she is different from her sisters. Like me. All her sisters are beautiful and smart, and she is just a human."

"Oh." Savy said.

"Oh." Mum said.

I waited for someone to explain it to Sabre, but for some reason, they were both lost for words.

I guess it was left to me, "Technically, Ariel was a mermaid who wanted to be a human. She gave up her mermaid powers and voice to become a human."

"Why would she do that? I wish I were a wolf, but I will never be a wolf. I will never shift, or have powers, or mindlink, or a soul mate." Sabre said.

Seriously, who has Sabre been talking to?

"Maybe you can pray to the Moon Goddess for a soulmate." Mum suggested gently. I never realized how cunning my mum was until I watched her deal with Sabre. Like we all knew Sabre was little Eddy's mate, so this would definitely work out. The Moon Goddess wouldn't even have to lift a finger for this prayer to be answered.

"Do you think I can ask to become a wolf too?" Sabre asked hopefully.

Hahahaha... yeah, now that would be a request that the Moon Goddess would have to seriously work her butt off to fulfill. But luckily for the Moon Goddess, Mum was around to answer, "Sabre, remember how I told you that you're a very special girl? And you are perfect, just the way you are. Maybe its hard to understand now, but there is a reason for you being human."

"They say wolves were born of magic and prayers," Mum kissed Sabre on her red curls, "But humans were born of love."

Oh. I didn't know that. And when I said "I didn't know that", I really meant, "I had no idea what humans were born of, but I would never had ever guessed 'love' was the answer."