THE MORNING AFTER

7 FEBRUARY, SUNDAY, 8AM

I woke up curled up under the clean lemony scented sheets of my giant golden clamshell, but now it was a comforting thing so I must be getting used to it. What was different though was that my hand was holding on to a large warm one, Mate!

And for some reason, my first reaction was to play dead. I've been doing embaressing things like this whenever Mate was near lately. I blamed the mate bond. No, there was no scientific theory that I knew, nor even a Lycan hearsay to support this. I'm just going to blame every single embaressing moment involving mate on the mate bond.

Because it was at this moment carefully blocked on Mate's side. After making sure my breathing and heart rate was suppressed to a slow and steady one, I cautiously opened my eyes to take a peek. While the hand I held was on my pillow, the rest of him was lounging on the side of the bed on top of the covers. He was using his phone with his free hand. His expression, like his mate bond, closed off.

A dream? Was I dream-travelling? But no. I could smell my sheets. I could smell the lingering scents of last night's party in my hair and clothes.

What was happening?

At this moment, two light raps on the door, "Goddess?"

It was Ki.

"Come in." Mate answered quietly.

Apparently, it was loud enough for Ki to hear. The beta let himself in.

I pretended to be asleep because I didn't want to have to explain something I didn't know anything about. The last I remembered was the party and then the meeting at Dad's office. And then I floated to my room.

See, it was better that I played dead.

"Were you here the whole night like this, Luna?" Ki asked gently.

"She wouldn't let go of my hand." Mate answered.

There was a sound of a camera shutter.

Mate growled.

"Don't be like that." Ki said lightly, I was sure he was smiling, "I still need to report to her parents and such a chaste photo would be in your favour."

Mate growled again.

"Unless you have other photos to show for last night?" Ki asked.

Mate's growling took a warning tone now, "What do you take me for?"

"I've run with you before Luna." Ki said.

Mate made a scoffing sound, "She's just a child! And... that was a lifetime ago, I'm a different man now."

"Aren't we all." Ki answered softly.

And then Mate said quietly, "We all lose who we were whilst in those cages. But for me, I think it was a good thing."

And then Ki sighed, "You used to be such a nice kid. I wondered what happened?"

"I met you." Mate answered testily.

Ki laughed, it was a bitter laugh, "I hated you."

Suddenly, I couldn't recognized the Ki who was speaking.

"I never knew." Mate answered, his tone cold and measured.

"You never cared to know." Ki accused.

"You never said." Mate answered.

"There is nothing to say." Ki was suddenly quiet, "I had long died to that life."

"Then there is no way you'd return to be the Lorent's beta?" Mate asked.

"Luna, just the sight of you brings back bad memories." Ki's tone had returned to his light and carefree one again.

Mate sighed, "I don't want my cousin at helm."

"I hated him too." Ki answered agreeably. I heard the cutains pull open. Light poured into the darkened room. The light turned the inside of my eyelids and orangey color.

"Was there anyone you didn't hate?" Mate grumbled.

"I didn't hate my mother." Ki answered then, "But then again, it's hard to hate someone you almost never saw. The pack used her, used her healing gift till she couldn't wake up anymore. And then at her funeral they mourned a healer and were comforted because her young son had inherited the gift too."

"I never knew." Mate said again.

And then the bitter Ki returned, "You never cared to know."

I had always thought the brokenness in Ki was something that happened in the fight cages, but now I'm beginning to think he was broken way before that.

"That's not true." Mate said finally, his low voice rumbly, the emotion threatening to break through, "I was the one who chose you over my cousin to be my beta."

"Did it occur to you that I never wanted to be your beta?" Ki sneered, "I never wanted to be a beta at all."

"You never said." Mate pointed out.

"You never asked." Ki retorted again.

Now mate was angry, "Did you know how many fights I had with my old man because of you?"

Ki was upset enough to raise his voice, "Did you know how much punishment I endured because of you?"

Mate's turn, "Of course I did, who did you think covered up for you, tidied your sorry excuse of an expense report, or crashed the car so your scent wouldn't be tracked..."

"You?" Ki asked, "Well, they were your crazy expenses. And the only reason we got mixed up in that mess was because you were stupid enough to believe that woman..."

And then Ki scoffed, "You were such a stupid kid."

"I was naïve." Mate corrected.

"Yeah, right." Ki said, but he sounded less angry now, "You were the least innocent kid I knew."

"Who's fault was that?" Mate asked.

Ki laughed, "Well, it was fun too."

"It was stupid." Mate maintained.

"We were young." Ki brushed it off.

"Young and stupid." Mate insisted.

"It was in a past life, Luna." Ki was suddenly very much Ki again. I bet if I opened my eyes, I would see his Killion dollar smile.

Mate sighed, "It would be probably best to forget the past."

"That was my plan too." Ki replied amiably.

"Until I showed up?" Mate asked wryly.

"I can't seem to get away from you." Ki sighed, "You keep popping back into my life. In the fight cage, in my alpha's bed..."

Mate laughed then. A low rumbly sound that made my heart so happy, "Be my beta again, Ki."

"No. The goddess saved me. I would not be alive today if she had not stepped into my cage that night and freed me. I..." Ki's voice broke just the tiniest bit, "I never wanted to be a beta... until I came here. I never expected this second life or the daily happiness that comes with it. Goddess knows I don't deserve it. But I'd be a popping fool to ever let it go."

There was a silence and then Ki announced in his usual cheer, "Goddess will have to wake for Sunday's breakfast with the pack soon. What are your plans today Luna?"

I heard the switch and my wardrobe open. Ki's quiet and efficient movements around the room as he set up my clothes, and quick-cleaned my bathroom.

"I'll be waking up in a bit." Mate answered, he sounded hesitant, and then he said, out of the blue, "I think I love her."

Ki's movement stopped, and then he answered, "Don't we all?"

Mate loves who? Who are they talking about? WHO?

I sat up and flared.

Both men froze.

"Good morning, goddess." Ki beamed, "Breakfast with the pack will be in half an hour. After which we will be sending your school friends to Gate City Station before arriving back in time for Alpha duties. There is homework and a few reports that require your urgent attention. They are on your office desk. Is there anything else I can do for you today?"

I blinked. Everything was perfectly normal. Maybe I fell back to sleep and dreamed everything just now?

But because I suddenly remembered that Mate had just all but confessed his love for "her", I released my hand and shoved him hard.

He landed on the floor with beautifully enounciated ancient lycan. Ki laughed, his usual amused chuckle...and for the moment, I truly believed everything was okay and the earlier angst and tension was just my imagination.

Mate stood up, "What was that for, princess?"

I guess he wasn't used to girls shoving him off their beds huh?

I sulked, still flaring, "I don't know."

Because I really had no idea what came over me. I'm mad. As mad as Madison and probably my Uncle Louis.

I got out of bed and went to the bathroom, shutting it tightly behind me.

Dumbbell, don't sit on my bed holding my hand, and confess your love for HER.

I got under the shower to wash it all out. Grrr... I wonder if this was what Ben's babes felt. If I ever meet any of my Mate's babes, I'd shred them to pieces.

Mate's babes, would they have been Lorent girls from highschool? For some reason I remembered Charbear and Oprah and all the smiling faces, short skirts, and socialite trophies I saw on the little bird channel of their unofficial news feed.

So alpha guys like Henry and MATE, (ESPECIALLY MATE) liked girls like that huh?

Grrr... Those Lorent girls in their short white skirts, I'm going to crush them at their own game. When I'm done, Mate won't be able to look at any other girl again! Muahahaha!

See, I told you. I had gone mad.

When I came out of my shower, Ki and Mate had gone and I was left alone in my madness. I even tried to put together my own outfit.

Ki had set out a v neck sweater, a blue checkered slim cut shirt, and jeans which I would happily had worn on any given day.

BUT I madly wanted to wear short skirt, nevermind that it was winter, or that I had Alpha duties later, or that Mate had woken up and was already back in the Red Packland's underground by now.

I braved my foreign wardrobe, found the skirt section which was helpfully organized by length, and tried in vain to match something together.

Normally, any short skirt would go with opaque tights and a t-shirt. BUT I didn't want to wear tights under my skirt, and I didn't want to wear a t-shirt.

On the bright side, I found my lucky puffy vest while looking for something not a t-shirt. But I didn't want that either. I wanted CUTE - whatever that was.

I looked blankly at the row of blouses and shirts. They even still had their tags on them. Hmmm...

After changing for the 8th time, I gave up. I carefully put everything back. Hopefully no one (e.g. Ki) would ever discover my failure in the wardrobe. And then I slunk back out and put on whatever he had hung up for me.

He had also laid out accessories. I chose the white watch of many wishes. And then I remembered I was seeing my school friends and hid it with my sweater sleeve.

Okay, whatever. Momentary madness had died from the epic fail in the wardrobe.

And then my door burst opened. It was Savy. She walked into my room the way she always entered my space - like she owned the place, "You're so late! You've missed the first breakfast. We have to go for breakfast with the pack now. You need to change."

"I just changed." I whined. I just changed like 9 times, but naturally I wasn't going to admit that.

"Yeah, but I changed my mind. I told Ki I was wearing that shirt, but Sabre was wearing the cutest lavender sweater, and I remembered we had something matchy, but more grown up." Savy said. She flipped the switch to my wardrobe without a moment's hesitation and walked into it.

"Wow, your wardrobe is so neat!" Savy informed me, "Mine is almost the same on the inside, just messier...much messier."

Yeah, Mum was always a stickler for being fair. If I got a walk in closet, I wasn't surprised that Savy got one too.

"This is a good idea." Savy said about the way my sweaters were arranged, "It's so much easier to find the right one."

She pulled out the right one. I realised that it was a navy version of the maroon sweater she had on.

The sweater was long and body hugging, with large buttons and a hood. Savy had worn hers over black stockings and boots, with her blond curls up in a messy bun.

She pulled out a camisole for me to wear underneath, "Why are all your underclothes white?"

Oh, now that she mentioned it... I had no idea.

"I guess Ki's following the Lorent tradition." Savy said.

The one where maidens wore only white? Hahahaha. Wait, was she serious?

Anyway, Savy pulled out a pair of grey tights for me. I shook my head, "I want stockings too."

"I thought you hated stockings." Savy asked.

"No, I don't." I argued.

Savy sighed, "I guess even you have to grow up some day."

WTH. Opaque stockings are just like tights, just with socks attached right?

Savy handed me a black pair still in its packaging, "Just be careful you don't rip it."

Oh yeah, I hated stockings. They were always snagging onto something.

I wore everything over my sports bra and boxer cut undies. I guess Ki had picked them out because of the Alpha duties later. Red flag and warning bell's tinker at the back of my mind. I probably should be wearing jeans, not stockings.

I mean, even the boots Ki had picked was of the sturdy outdoor black combat boots variety. I pulled them on before Savy could stop me because I liked them immediately.

They were heavy with nice thick soles and tall enough to cover a decent amount of shin from rats. They definitely didn't look like they'd melt on hot stones. These boots were made for hiking and butt kicking, and the hunting gyaras in rat infested dungeons.

I loved my new boots. I wondered where it was my whole life and why I had never seen it before.

Savy studied my outfit with a critical eye. Her red boots were heeled so that she was almost my height.

"I guess you can go for the edgey urban combat look." Savy decided. She pulled up my sweater sleeves and added a few black metal bangles to my arms.

And then she did my hair. She didn't ask permission or anything. She just picked up my hairbrush and started work parting my hair. I ended up with a messy bun with the top half of my hair. The bottom half she left down.

"That's pretty cute." Savy decided.

"It'll be cuter with two buns." I said.

Savy gave me a weird look, "Did you want to be cute?"

I paused, did I?

So Savy gave me two buns.

I looked at myself in the mirror, "Looks like ears."

Savy grinned wickedly, "Or horns."

Two knocks on the door and Ki informed us that Dad was waiting for us. I grabbed my lucky puffy jacket and pulled open the door on him, "Okay, let's go!"

I know, I know... I wanted to be girly and cute. But I guess the boots helped me see that I was more of the puffy hooded vest and combat boots kind of girl.

And you know what? Now that the madness had passed, I was perfectly happy to be just the way I was.

I was the Alpha. But most of all, I was Sam, and Sam was the thing I was happiest being.