I AM THE ALPHA!

I got more information from Jules and Bra while on the train ride home, actually mostly from Jules.

Jules' pack is situated right in the middle of several vampire covens. How many of them were there? Well, only one major one, another three covens were branched from the first. The dangerous ones were the new smaller ones. Those were the ones who liked to capture wolves for sport. The bright spot to this was the dearth of rogue wolves in his packland. They were often quickly hunted down by the vampires.

Old and respectable covens were usually quiet as long as you didn't trespass private property or do something stupid to disrespect them in town.

It was the new bloods that were scary and dangerous. Oh, and the rogue vampires.

They had rogues too? Now that was news to me. Did that make the rogues good guys?

Apparently not. The rogues were just insane vampires. Ah, good to know.

I honestly could not imagine living in Jules' pack, in a narrow strip smack at the epicenter of an old vein of vampire territory. I had always taken the freedom of our packlands and security of our purely wolf-controlled Gate City for granted.

Fight cages varied from coven to coven in quantity, size, audience capacity, and publicity. Fight cages were numbered, and top fight cages sat hundreds of spectators, had VIP booths, and some were even streamed on special servers. It's one of the top spectator sports in the Vampire realm.

Humans liked it too. Humans were the main consumers of the fight cage tickets and merchandising, and vampire owned bars often televised the fights. It drew a lot of humans to their establishments.

Top dogs enjoyed larger cages, better nutrition, and medical care. But were otherwise kept like animals. They gained distinguishment marked by an assortment of black tattoos, permanent badges sponsored by patrons to mark special achievements or capabilities.

As Jules had put it, "These were the best at fighting and fucking, ah... Sorry."

Bra punched him in the arm and scolded, "You need to explain it in PG terms."

But the most interesting information I got was that one could obtain fight listings, battle summaries, bet figures, and centerfold posters from any vampire town in the form of magazines.

"It's in the Rated Adult section of the bookstores or newspaper stands." Jules informed me.

"I heard the posters are hot." Bra wriggled his brows, "I got to go, here's my stop."

After Bra left, Jules got a bit more serious and asked me, "Why are you asking? It can't be that it's your career consideration."

I laughed at that, "Someone got captured by rogue wolves from the neighboring pack, and then sold him to a fight cage nearby."

Jules frowned, "Sorry to hear that."

And then as an afterthought he added, "He is probably dead by now, I mean, if he was weak enough to be captured by rogues, I don't think he would survive..."

I nodded. I was starting to feel worn out by everyone telling me he was dead. And to be honest, I'm starting to think they were right.

"So, don't do anything I wouldn't, okay Sam?" Jules looked a bit worried, "I know we just met and all, but you're the kind of girl who has a bright future ahead of you... So don't like, go throw it away for a dead guy okay?"

I nodded again. I'm kind of surprised by Jules' words. But I had no fight right now when I have Wolfbane in my system...even in trace amounts. So he needn't have worried. I wasn't going to go charging into a vampire coven. I'm feeling that lousy.

I remembered reading stories about werewolves who fought rogues and stuff even after being poisoned by Wolfbane. I had always imagined I would be that kind of heroic wolf.

Turns out, I'm not.

I'm not the heroic kind of wolf. I'm not the one who can give the Lorents any reason to keep hoping. I'm not the one who knew what's best for my pack. I didn't even know if I'm the alpha of my pack. I didn't think I could be the submissive Luna to give my pack a sense of security either. I'm pretty much not anything at all.

"Your stop's here Sam." Jules told me. He gave me a gentle push toward the door.

Oh yeah. "Thanks." I said with a wave and left.

I couldn't even alight from the train without help. And to make matter worse, I hadn't done my homework again.

I'm just feeling really down right now, and I didn't think it's just the Wolfbane anymore. I just didn't think I could do it anymore.

I looked at everything in my hands and I couldn't do it. Who was I to so arrogantly tell the Lorents I could hold their hope for them? I couldn't even find any hope for me.

"How was school?" My mum asked when I got home.

"It was okay." I mumbled under my breath. I wanted to excuse myself to my room to start on homework, but my mum spoke first, "The Lorents dropped by earlier today."

I nodded. I'm glad I went to school then. I didn't want to face them now that I think their poor son was probably dead too. I've failed to keep their hope for them.

"They've gifted you with some new clothes." Mum said, "They said they wanted to reward your bravery and hoped to replace the ones the rogues ruined."

"That's very kind of them." I said.

"Yes, write them a thank you note, okay? I've put the new clothes in your room." Mum told me.

"Thanks Mum." I said.

"Oh yes, and Sam?" Mum called out from behind me as I mounted the stairs, "Your dad wants to see you in his office so go over first. You can look at the new clothes later."

"Okay mum." I answered and escaped into my room.

I felt like I've hit rock bottom at this point. I didn't want the new clothes, I didn't want to meet my dad in his office. I couldn't do this anymore, but it's not like I could tell anyone that their future Alpha or possibly Luna was done in.

I locked myself in the shower and cried under the hot jets. Then I applied the bottled happiness and inhaled the flower and grass scent.

Washing away the stench of failure... Lalala...

I thought about my dreams, and Ben and Jonah's dreams, and Luna Edith's tears because she lost her son, and my mum's tears because she thought she had lost me...

In the end, I blame the rogues... But I also blame the vampires and their stupid fight cages. What kind of sick sport is that? I knew they were vampires... But there were also vampires who drank packet lab produced blood like Maria. And there were idiot rogue wolves who supplied the vampire fight cages with new dogs.

I get why the Black Forest Pack had united the Black Packlands to destroy the surrounding covens. Many historians often question if the 30 year war was worth it. They've lost more wolves in battle than saved from the covens.

But the poor wolves trapped there! Who would going to save them if not us? Could they save themselves?

It was a bigger problem then I can handle though.

The Black Forest Pack had arguably the strongest Lycan army, a charismatic Alpha, and three decades of war experience. With this, they managed to destroy the main covens nearest to them and till today kept their land largely vampire free.

But there were so many more covens in our continent. Our continent was the original land of the vampires. And their Royal Coven was right here...somewhere, it's exact location still unknown to the rest of the world.

I thought of Jules' pack, living in "truce", sandwiched between several vampire covens. For the safety and survival of their pack, their Alpha had agreed to turn a blind eye to the vampire activities, as long as the vampires did not practice those same activities on his pack.

It made me feel that the security I've grown up with in the Green Packlands was nothing short of a miracle. I was awed at my dad and the other Alphas who had made this part of the continent a safe haven for us. But for how long will this bubble last?

All through history, wolves, vampires, warlocks and humans had lived on this land together. One war after another. It didn't look like it would ever end.

Why must everything be so hard? Why does everything have to be a battle?

~There is no victory without a fight, no triumph without a battle.~

Oh.

And with those words, I stepped out of the shower suddenly feeling much braver.

Maybe the hot shower washed out the Wolfbane or failure because I'm okay now. I'm ready to fight again.

I didn't have a plan just yet, but I knew what we're going to do tonight.

I still need more information, but I had a plan to save the Lorent boy. He might just be the first of many.

I didn't care to attack covens. It's not worth my warriors' lives. Not that I'm holding my breath or anything, but perhaps one day vamps would all diet on mostly lab produced blood. Maria claimed it's the most hygienic and nutritious type of blood. It's just too expensive for common vampires. Whatever. It's none of my business.

What was my business? I am the alpha. I will protect the Green Packland and the happiness of my pack.

And I will start freeing the wolves in bondage to slavery. Just wait and see.

If I really was going to be a start of a new and blue bloodline of wolves, I want the blue to represent freedom, and every blue wolf after me to be an agent of freedom and rescue.

Because there really was more to life than just living in my secure and happy bubble, or protecting my happiness, or the happiness of my family, or even the happiness of my whole pack.

Somewhere out there, were wolves who will probably live in cages for the rest of their lives unless someone freed them. I can't save all of them, but one by one, I will save the ones I can.

I am the alpha, hear me roar. I mean howl. Haha.