Motherhood

It's a weekend. I get the priviledge to sleep longer in this morning since I am on restday. My Boss/Lover was sent on a business convention that me, as his EA, is not required to come along. Thus, I get to enjoy my alone time for this weekend. 

Yet, I spoke too soon...

My phone buzz as I was still in deep slumber. I wanted to ignore the buzzing but it kept going and going. Ever since I became an EA, I have been required to be reachable at most. So I alerted phone with vibration. I forgot to turn it off last night though, out of habit. In a half asleep state, I reached for it and looked who the hell dares to disturb my restday. It is an unknown number. 

With curiosity, I answered it in a groggy voice. "Hello?"

"Hi!" A woman's voice answered. I have no idea who it was. "I'm really sorry but this is Aimee," she introduces. Mabilis akong napabangon. 

"Sorry? W-who is this?" I am trying to check if I heard it correctly. Tama ba it's my Boss' ex?

"Sorry. Did I wake you up? But this is really emergency," turan niya matapos magpakilala ulit. "I don't know where your boss is but I can't reach him since yesterday. His not answering his phone."

"He is actually on a business convention out of town. He's probably busy at this time," sagot ko. That's the reason probably but he answers my call. Infact, halos kausap ko ito magdamag. Kung di ko pa tutulugan hindi ito magbaba ng telepono. 

He insists of tagging me along in the trip like SG. But the company will only pays for his. And we really don't want to drag an issue about it. We are still undercover at this point. 

"Yeah, he told me that last time actually and he is supposed to take care of the kids this weekend. But he cancelled just last week," she said. 

"T-that's probably the reason though," Alam pala niya so why is she still calling me? "He's not coming back until tomorrow morning, I think." 

"Oh no! You see, I had this planned trip already and I was really hoping that he'll take care of the kids today. This has been scheduled beforehand," she sounded frustrated and I really don't know what to say. 

"I'll try to reach him and inform him about that but I guess, I'm not really that sure," nasabi ko na lang. 

"If that's the case, can I ask you a favor instead?" Turan nito. "I know this is too much but can you come over at our house and watched over the kids just this weekend or until your boss comes tomorrow?" 

"W-what?" Tuluyan nang humulas ang antok ko. Nagising ang lahat ng parte ng diwa ko. "You want me to take care of your children?" Tatlo ang anak nila. I don't even met them yet. I don't even know how young they are. I don't actually know how to babysit. 

"You really don't have to do anything they are actually old enough to take care of themselves. The twins are 8 and the young one is 6. I just need someone to look after them," She sounded insisting. 

"But---" hindi ko alam ano irarason ko. I remembered our baby conversation last time. I really don't think I am capable of taking care a child. Ba't parang ipapatry sakin?

"I'll pay you if you want, just please don't say no," she seemed desperate. How important is this trip afterall and she's so eager to go? Is the trip more important than their children? 

I felt sympathetic for the children and I wonder how are they coping up with this complicated situation their parents are into. I have a thought on my own that it's best to know the situation of this kids for me. Besides, I am one of the reason why their parents are separating and they just don't know it yet. 

I took a deep breath. Probably, it's the least I could do to ease out the guilt feeling I just had for the kids. I looked at the clock, it's just 15 minutes past 7. "Send me your address, I'll be there in an hour. I just need to prepare."

It did took me an hour to reach their house. It is actually my first time being here. They live not that far almost a 20 minutes drive. It is a House that really fits for the family. I pulled my car on the driveway, there is also a car parked just beside mine. It's compartment is open and seemed someone is loading some stuff. Bumaba na ko ng sasakyan. Nakatingin ako sa saksakyan na nakapark when the front door opens. Nabaling ang atensyon ko doon. Lumabas ang isang lalaki, may kalakihan ang katawan ngunit di katangkaran. He looks ok and well-built. He is carrying a luggage that seemed to be for my boss' ex-wife's trip.

"Oh, the baby sitter is here!" The man shouted. 

Napataas ang kilay ko. 'Baby sitter?'

"Good morning," bati ko trying to be friendly. 

"Hi, George," stating his name. "We are sorry for this last minute request but we are just desperate to go on this trip," anito. 

Napatango-tango lang ako as I control myself to give him a sarcastic grimace and a raised eyebrow. This must be the ex-wife's lover. And they're going on a trip?! What a bitch and a jerk! 

I maybe a mistress for his husband but I am not that shameless to push on a trip when his kids needs them the most.  Nilingon ko ang bagahe nila. It isn't looked like a weekend trip. For good na ba si girl doon?

Maya-maya lumabas si Aimee sa pinto. 

"Thank you so much, for this. I couldn't stress out how grateful I am!" She seemed sincere though. 

"No worries. B-but how long will you be gone again?" Hindi ko napigilang itanong. 

"Oh, don't worry. I have informed Ryon that I left the kids with you over the weekend. He didn't respond yet but I guess he'll call once he read it," she said casually. 

If she only knew who I really am, magagawa pa kaya nitong iwan sakin ang mga anak niya. Also, for all I know he will not just call. He will definitely be here once he knew na nasa bahay niya ko. 

"By the way, the kids are still sleeping, they woke up at 9am or 10am on weekends. I've put up instructions at the fridge. Just some do's and dont's and their slight medications especially for Riley. Not major though. She seemed special though and the only girl. Other than that, feel free to help your self," she said in an almost rushing tone. 

"Incase I needed to ask something, is it ok to call you?" I asked eventhough deep in my mind I may not able to do so. 

"Actually, that will be a trouble. We are quite going abroad and I really don't know how can you possibly reach me. But like I said, I have informed Ryon about this," she said that is almost hesitating.

I felt like trap. But I can no longer back out. 

"O-kay..." I just said hesitating but agreeing. 

After the rushed instructions, mabilis na silang nagpaalam and left. Hindi pa ko pumasok sa bahay until they have drove off. I stared at the house first bago ko nahugot ang lakas ng loob na pumasok sa loob ng bahay. Sumilip muna ako bago tuluyang pumasok. 

It was a nice and cozy place. Somewhat messy but a typical house can be. The front porch leads to a staircase towards what seemed to be the bedrooms. On the left is seemed to be the living room, on the right was the kitchen. I preferred to peak on living room and I got surprised when I saw the kids sitting on the couch. They looked at me as if they kind of expecting me to be there. 

"Hi! Good morning, I thought you are all still asleep," bati ko sa tatlo. Medyo awkward. I really don't know how to talk to kids in a way they would understand. They are still in pajamas and tila kakabangon lang sa kama. They are all sitting on the couch and somewhat may importanteng meeting sa isa't isa. 

The twin boys, Rion and Rain, are almost identical, they have their father's look. Sisingkitin and manly looking. The girl, Riley, is a little less version of his father as well. Singkit din ang mata nito and cheeky. Her curly hair makes her doll like faced. She's hugging a unicorn stuffed toy. 

Nagpakilala ako sa kanila. They somewhat smiled but I felt like it's really weak. 

"D'you want to eat breakfast?" I asked. 

"Will Dad come today?" One of the twins asked. He seemed to be the eldest which is Rion. He looks way serious than Rain. Eventhough they almost look a like, their face's expression gives a different aura. Rain seemed like a boyishly cute. 

"I think so. He probably will," sagot ko although hindi ako sure but bahala na. 

"See, I told you Dad will come!" Ani naman ni Rain, the boyishly cute twin, "He won't leave us to a complete stranger!"

"But she seemed looks nice and pretty," ani naman ng 6-year old na bunso na si Riley.

Napangiti ako. Gusto kong sabihin sa sarili ko na kids really don't lie. Lumapit ako sa kanila. Siguro they are hesitating about my presence. For once, I felt at ease. Although first time ko lang naman din sila nakilala, I felt their warm welcome kahit medyo hesitating. And siguro they are really trying to understand their situation. Again, nakaramdam ako ng awa for them. Umupo ako malapit sa kanila. 

"I didn't introduce myself properly. I am actually your father's assistant at work. So I will definitely make sure that he will come today. Why? Are you worried that I may not be able to take care of you?"

"We just thought mom will not push on her trip since Dad isn't available today. We've been asking her not to go," matabil na turan ni Rain. 

Lalong kinurot ang malambot kong puso.  I really felt pity para sa mga bata. How can a mother tolerate the sadness in their children's eyes? I mean I am not in the position to tell but somehow I am very much affected. 

"You know what, I really don't know what you do on weekend. But as a proxy for your parents, I'd be gladly to take you wherever you like today and do the things you do with your parents instead," aniko.

I saw their face somewhat lightened. But there still hesitation. 

"Oh comm'on. It's a weekend! I know you do crazy things before," I indulge. 

"Dad used to take us on the beach on weekend," sagot ni Rion shyly.

"Then, let's go to the beach," aya ko. 

"Can we?" turan ng bunso. "My mom didn't want us to go since she finds it hard to take care of us."

"Oh, booohoo! How hard can it be? Let's eat breakfast first, prepare our stuff then head to the beach." It's just 15min. Drive to a beach. Hindi ko sure kung gaano sila kagulo but I think I can manage. 

The kids got excited. We did what we planned. And somehow it is a good ice breaker. The kids did enjoy our minitrip to the beach. I let them play around while constantly checking on them. They seemed to be closed with each other and take care of each other often. Naisip ko, probably this is their way of coping up with their complicated situation. They learn to take care of each other. 

Makalagpas na ang katanghalian nang mapagod sila sa kakalaro sa beach. The younger one seemed to be gotten tired and sleepy. Niyaya ko na sila na umuwi. Their clothes were wet from playing from the water but I decided na sa bahay na sila bihisan since malapit lang naman. I just gave them towels to wrap around themselves and told them to get in the car. They all hesitated. 

"Mom said we shouldn't get in the car wet. It will make the car dirty," ani ng panganay. 

Natawa ako. "Don't worry. This is my car. I can clean it up myself." I may be spoiling them but it will be easier for me this way. Ayokong makipagsiksikan sa bathroom ng resort para lang ayusan sila. It will be more comfortable at home. "Just get in, I'll take care of it."

Yung pangalawa ang mabilis na sumampa, Rion seemed hesitating but he smiled when he get in the car, Riley, since nakatulog na sa kalong ko, I slowly placed in her seat. 

When we got home, mabilis ko na silang binanlawan and binihisan. Pinagluto ko ng tanghalian base on the guidelines that is listed on the instructions given. Then, the twins asked if they can watch TV. Since I really don't know how bad screen time for kids is, hinayaan ko na. But syempre, sinamahan ko na rin sila manood. 

We watched cartoons whole afternoon. I realized they watched the same cartoons over and over again. And since, mahilig din naman ako manood ng cartoons kahit papano nag-enjoy na rin ako. 

The kids are somewhat pro-active. They got too excited and playful at times and I am genuinely happy to play along. I don't really know if I'm actually doing the right thing, but I don't hesitate to spoil them atleast. Naisip ko, siguro ako yung magiging spoiler step-mom nila. Somehow, I am ok taking this opportunity to get to meet his kids. Kasi kung tatanggapin ko siya sa buhay ko, this will be one of his extra baggage na kailangan kong bitbitin. 

After dinner, I prep the kids for their bedtime. Somehow, sa dami ng ginawa namin sa maghapon, they got too tired and didn't hesitate to ask me to tuck them in. They all stayed in one room at this point. Kahit alam kong pagod na sila, they still pushed on the energy up to the last hour. Instead of bedtime stories, they are the one telling me stories of what they do and their most favorite events. I sat on the little girls bed, and listen to all three of them talk and talk. Hinayaan ko lang silang mapagod. It was past 9pm, when we heard someone came in the door. Naging alerto ako but tila naramdaman ko kung sino ang parating. And when he appeared on the children's room, I can't help but felt relief and happiness as well for the kids. 

The kids jump out of bed and jump onto their Dad. Nag-uunahan pa sa pag-akap. I think it's been weeks since they last saw their Dad. 

I saw how tired he is. I'm so sure that after the convention, he did went home straight. Kahit out of town pa yung trip sigurado ako pinilit niyang makauwi. 

"I thought you're coming tomorrow?" turan ng bunso. 

"I must've missed you so much that Daddy wants to come home as soon as possible. I'm sorry I'm really late," he said. He looked at me and smiled. 

I can help but smiled and loved the picture. Somehow, I felt relief din sa happiness na nararamdaman ng mga bata upon seeing their Dad. Kahit kanina lang ako yung bida sakanila. 

"I am about to tuck them in to sleep, but I think you still need time to catch up," aniko as I stood up and headed out to the door. 

"Papatulugin ko lang sila and I'll talk to you later," he whispered as I passed by onto him. Palihim na kinindatan niya pa ko.

"Will you leave already?" turan ng panganay. "Dad, can she stay for the night? It's almost late to let her go home," anito. 

"You're right, son. She's not actually leaving yet. We insist you stay for the night," turan ni Boss. 

Ngumiti lang ako. I know I have been asked by Aimee to sleep in the guest room if he can't come tonight. But with him in the house, hindi ko alam pano niya ilulusot ito sa mga anak niya. 

Bumaba na ko and tried to clean up a few things sa sala at sa kusina. I was washing the dishes nang maramdaman kong pababa siya ng hagdan. He called on me as if looking. 

"I'm here!" Ani ko mula sa kusina. "Are they sleeping?" tanong ko as he walk towards me. But instead of sumagot, he just go straight on to me, pulled me away from the sink, and pinned mo on the counter kitchen and gave me an intense kiss. 

I was caught off guard but willingly respond. It took awhile bago ko naexert yung effort na itulak siya. 

"Wala bang CCTV dito?" aniko na medyo hinapo. 

Natawa siya. "The only CCTV in this house is from the outside and the children's room," aniya. 

"Baka magising yung mga anak mo," turan ko. 

"I don't know what you did to them but they seemed too tired that they get to sleep fast. I am asking them questions pero wala ng sumasagot sakin, lahat tulog na," aniya. 

"I thought you'll be back tomorrow?" tanong ko. 

"Knowing that you are in my house and taking care of my kids, I wouldn't want to miss this opportunity. I am thinking of ways kung paano kita ipapakilala sakanila in the future but I guess destiny is doing it's assignment instead. And I think they like you. My eldest rarely trust a person. He would always hesitate to go with strangers. But with you, you seemed have given them the best day ever."

"I just let them be who they are for today. I really don't know how to look after a kid so I am more of letting them be what they want as long as I think it doesn't hurt them. We just went to the beach and watched cartoon all afternoon," sagot ko. 

"That's spoiling," he said. "For the record, you cannot do that all the time."

"Malay ko ba! All I want was not to bore them. I am not like those regular mom, I guess. I'm probably a cool mom, step-mom, rather," I said slightly embarassed. 

Lumapad ang ngiti niya and kissed me again. 

"We'll sleep on the guest room," aniya as he moved away from me. 

"We? You're children might see us," alanganin kong sabi. 

"We'll lock it. Ako ng bahala dun," desidido niyang sabi. "Besides I don't want to sleep in the main bedroom, for all I know he let his man slept there."

"They are actually on a trip together," turan ko na medyo naiilang. But I think he needs to know. 

Bumuntong hininga siya. "Good for her. She had found a man that can give her the happiness she looks forward to," he said it platonically. 

"Hindi ka affected?" I said sarcastically as he was about to step out of the kitchen.

Ngumiti siya. "I admit to myself that I cannot give her the happiness she wants. I will always be not enough for her. Besides, me, myself have found someone else that I think I deserve so much than her, YOU. I couldn't give everything to her because I don't want to. I meant to give my all for you," aniya and winked. Lumabas na siya ng kusina leaving me cringing sa kacornihan niya. 

Napailing na lang ako. I really cannot gauge how sincere he is with his love for me. But these things makes me believe that somehow he is genuinely into me. For now, the situation is still complicated and somewhat must be kept secret but I am happy. And this 

day will definitely part of my kept diary.