Confession (2)

#diary of a bitch

"I used to be in a secret cult back in the university." My head shot up in surprise, I immediately jerked out of his hold.

"What!"

"Yeah, I schooled abroad okay?, we were nothing but black niggas that were subject to all kinds of unfairness, well that isn't a great excuse though. But trust me, I've left that life. We all have." He looked at me desperately, I know he wanted me to say something. My brain was still trying to process the unnerving piece of information I just discovered.

"How did it happen?" Was what I could manage to say.

"Well, it started up as an harmless anti-racism campaign team that had a strong voice and was successful, but when the leaders were being murdered and framed for various unimaginable crimes, the followers began to dwindle until it remained just 12 members, that was how I met Michael. He wouldn't back down, the fought for every right of the blacks until his girlfriend was murdered. That was when we all lost our sense of goodwill and started to retaliate. It was bloody but we didn't kill anyone that was innocent. They killed 8 out of the remaining 12 members. Apart from me, Mike and 2 of my other friends –the ones I introduced to you– are the only ones remaining. After the long war and blood shed, we were finally given the respect we deserve. No one in the whole of the university dared to bully any colored person under our watch.

In our final year, we all decided to let sleeping dogs lie and lead normal lives. Though we always had a gun or two with us in case of dangerous circumstances like the day I met you for the first time, and last month when that bastard tried to molest you. Though I would never go back to bloodshed ever again, I wouldn't hesitate to kill anyone who tries to lay a finger on my wife and child, even if I am not accepted. " I was shivering in fright at his scary look, so he has a gun on him now? He seemed to have noticed my fear so he spoke again.

"Vee, I'm sorry I lied to you. All this wouldn't have happened if I had told you everything from the beginning. I know I used to be a killer and a user, but I assure you, that is my past I am trying to be a better person and if you give me a chance I could be the best person you've ever met. I told you everything so there wouldn't be misunderstandings in the future, and I won't force you to decide anything now. With all you've heard about me, it's most probably that you file for divorce. Whatever your decision is, I'll accept wholeheartedly." With that he turned and made for the door. I was about to tell him to wait when suddenly;

"Ahhh!" I screamed in shock and delight, he turned around and saw me clutching my round belly, with two strides he was already by my side.

"What happened?, are you alright?" He asked with his face twisted with worry. I simply took his hands and placed it on my baby bump. After 4 seconds we both screamed in happiness and excitement. It was the very first time the baby was kicking. I looked up to him and saw behind that excitement was a man that has been through torment but still sees happiness in the little things like pillow fights, ice cream parties and feeling a baby bump move. So what if he wasn't a good person from the beginning?, it wasn't like I was Virgin Mary or Queen Elisabeth. I was using Kelvin's words at that moment but who cares, I love this man and I am going to admit it.

"Henry?" I called and he looked at me, his gaze always gives me goosebumps.

"If I ask a favor, would you do it for me?" I asked timidly.

"Of course, anything for you." He answered as if he was nervous.

"Then....." I stared right into his eyes, trust me, it took a lot of courage to do that.

"Make love to me."