Chapter 76: Try to convince them that you're useful

"Here, Momon-sama." A gray-haired maid curtsied to Momonga as she opened the hospital-room's door and stepped to the side to allow him to enter.

Momonga resisted the urge to shiver as he stepped into the room which housed seemingly unconscious Serafall who had been tucked into a comfortable-looking infirmary bed in Underworld's central hospital.

While Momonga understood that there were quite few differences in the times he found himself in and the times he had come from, he nonetheless found the fact that the hospitals didn't smell of rotten flesh or dead people to be quite uplifting. Or at least the part of him that was Suzuki Satoru found that uplifting, as 'Momonga' part of him would have probably preferred that smell.

'I wonder if it's because this hospital serves upper-caste devils? The conditions of lower-caste devil hospitals are probably more dystopian…' Momonga shook his head before he could start procrastinating the task at hand. "Ahem…. Sona-san?"

Momonga had invited the girl along as he figured that seeing Serafall get healed would probably help her loyalty to him, or at least help the girl out of her seemingly depressive and submissive episode. Not to mention that he had a fairly solid idea on just how deep the bond between Serafall and Sona was, which meant that if he tried to step between them, he'd likely get flattened between the two. And while he could deal with Sona, Serafall was another matter entirely as she had three other Maous backing her up even if Momonga could fight her alone.

He had left Rias with his Peerage, however, despite the girl's objections that she wanted to come to 'protect Grayfia'.

'I'll need to hurry up and train the rest of my Peerage… While Gasper is reaching the level where he can be helpful, the others have a long way to go. Even if they'll probably never be on equal footing with me combat-wise, having a cadre of sturdy distractions in combat would allow me to fight strong opponents in multiple one-on-one fights as opposed to trying to fight four Maous at once…' Momonga felt a bit wary of his future, and shook his head once more as he realized he was once again falling to the trap of procrastinating the task.

"Is- Is something wrong, Momon-sama?" Sona sounded scared as she snuck beside Serafall's bed and grabbed her hand. "You're shaking your head… A-are you telling me to- f-finish it m-myself? A-are you saying Serafall-san is b-beyond saving?! I- I won't- I… No, I… I didn't… Please don't make me do it…"

Grayfia's gaze felt as if it was trying to bore holes into the back of Momonga's head while he handwaved Sona's panicked words. "Not at all! Please don't jump into conclusions, Sona-san! I was merely trying to shake off some distracting thoughts… Ahem. Let us begin."

'...That being said, I'm not actually a healer.' Momonga felt as if he should have brought Asia with him, but nonetheless pressed onwards by casting silent [Detect Life] on Serafall. 'Hm. She's losing health steadily but the loss seems to be roughly at the same pace as her natural regeneration from her powers… However it feels as if she's losing the fight somewhat. Which makes sense, as she would eventually get tired of constantly using her powers and the relapse would allow the curse to spread.'

That, however, posed another issue. '[Great Malediction: Curse-killing Poison]'s main draw was that it couldn't be blocked or resisted with poison resistances, thanks to being cursed… However, while the curse could be dispelled, doing so would result in the rest of the over-time damage getting applied in a burst. In a way it made that Super-tier spell a dedicated anti-tank spell as it'd ignore the tank's defences, and a careless healer could end up killing the tank accidentally by removing the curse prematurely… However, I could top-off Serafall's health and then remove the curse with a Scroll...'

Yet, that solution posed another problem as Momonga did a small calculus and came to a conclusion that if he used only YGGDRASIL health potions to heal Serafall, he'd run out of them entirely. On the other hand he considered just letting the curse kill Serafall and resurrecting her afterwards, but he wasn't sure how the resurrection would work with powerful entities- after all, all the devils that had been resurrected with [Resurrection] had been relatively weak ones.

'However… Hm…' Momonga then noted the third option, which was for him to equip a ring and start healing with a basic yet mana-inefficient [Greater Heal], but then realized that he could use the situation to experiment a bit with his new body. 'Phoenixes are supposed to have healing tears, right? And if that Scroll the Elder Lich made worked properly, I should have that ability as well… Let's see…'

He took a seat beside Serafall, all the while Sona was looking as if Momonga was a handwave away from telling her to execute her own sister or do something equally unreasonable, and Grayfia was standing beside the door and looked passively into the room… Although Momonga could tell that the gray-haired woman was keeping a close eye on him.

'Well, here goes nothing…' Momonga leaned over Serafall and, after a moment of trying, managed to get his fleshy body to tear up.

Sona opened her mouth in confusion, and then seemed to freeze mid-scream.

Grayfia merely stared, but Momonga could tell that she was gripping her apron with more strength than was strictly speaking necessary.

Momonga was wondering what exactly distressed the two… until he noticed that the liquid dripping down into Serafall's face was pitch black, contrasting quite strongly with the unconscious Maou's pallid, yellow skin.

'Hm… Interesting. I'm guessing that my underlying undead nature is tainting the tears somehow since it's a magically-charged liquid… Speaking of which, it doesn't seem to drain my mana… but instead drains my experience.' Momonga noted that Serafall's health was going up, however, so he figured that the change was probably just a visual one. However, the fact the tears were draining his experience was a cause for concern.

"The life energy you're excreting through the tears has to come from somewhere, no?" Ddraig noted and Momonga nodded internally as the explanation made sense, in a way.

'How would that work with Phenix family's 'true' Phoenixes? Are they using their life force to create healing tears?' Momonga wondered if his plan of healing tear sales would end up working if he had to use experience to create the healing items. It wasn't as if he had better things to do when he was stuck healing Serafall by forcing his fleshy body to cry all over her face. 'Is Ravel, for instance, using her life or experience when crying healing tears?'

"Life energy in all its forms replenishes naturally for most living beings, assuming they are healthy, so I'm guessing that yes and no… However, you are undead so I'm guessing that you don't replenish life energy?" Ddraig seemed a bit puzzled. "Since your 'mana' regenerates automatically I'm guessing that it's tied to absorbing 'ambient' flavor of life energy, and 'experience' tied to absorbing 'soul' flavor of life energy... However, you don't exactly operate with the same rules as the residents of the Underworld, so I'm not sure how much my theories hold true…"

'I see. I'll keep your theories in mind.' Momonga wasn't above courtesy as Ddraig seemed to be behaving himself. 'Hm, I would have expected Negative Energy to seep through the tears… It doesn't seem to be the case, however, as Serafall had weakness for curses and poisons and it would have had a definite impact on the healing she'd receive… So I guess the tears operate purely on experience. Hm. I wonder if this world has other experience-using abilities I could learn?'

"Hm… That should be good enough." Momonga reached under the bed to hide his inventory-rift from Grayfia's view, grabbed a healing potion and poured it into Serafall's mouth while he held a [Scroll of Break Curse] with the other hand. 'And a single healing potion, just to check the amount of healing received from the potion versus the tears…'

The Maou's health went up by a nudge, whereas Momonga's 'tears' had healed more than half of her health in the short span of time, surprising even himself. 'Hm. The potency of the healing seems to be quite good… Ddraig? Could it be that the healing tears are stronger because it uses experience?'

"Could be. Or you have more control over injecting this 'experience' into the brew than natural 'Phoenix-clan devils' as you seem quite adept at, uh, extracting it."Ddraig shrugged its shoulders. "It's more or less stuff that souls get made out of, so the tears might be somewhat potent…"

Serafall's health trickled up and her skin returned to a healthy hue, and Momonga cast the Scroll…

Sona screamed as Serafall's mouth sprayed a thick stream of globs of yellow pus while her skin went from healthy to cracked, bloody mess that seeped blood and viscera.

'Hm… Interesting.' Momonga noted how the girl's health had gone from near-full to roughly tenth with one hit, causing him to become a bit frightened of how close he had gone to killing Serafall through detonating the damage-over-time effect in order to remove it. 'Then again, that Super-tier spell would deal most of its damage over time, and had its potency increased to the level of thirty-two simultaneous casts through [Boost]...'

A horrifying gurgle escaped from the girl's mouth, or rather from the gross display of boils, pus and torn, pallid flesh and guts that littered the hospital bed, and Momonga returned to healing her with the tears. He ignored Sona's whimpering and desperate apologies that she stammered for some reason. He ignored the gray-haired maid as well when Grayfia reached to slowly, shakily wipe off a glob of pus that had landed on her apron.

"Serafall-san's condition was dealing damage over time, and would have caused her to perish if I didn't, erm, 'pop' the condition." Momonga explained to Sona as she seemed to be suffering some sort of critical mental failure and had been reduced to a sobbing, desperate and shaky mess that was in deep prostration towards Momonga. "The 'pop' however caused some damage, which is the reason I healed her first so she'd survive that, and now I'm healing her again…"

"I'm sowwy, imsowwy, I'll… I'll e-end S-Seraf-fall… sniff… i-if you c-command me… P-pwease downt make her suffer anymowe… sniff..." Sona, however, seemed to be in her own world.

'Hm, I guess this sight might be traumatizing. She's her sister after all...Oh well…'Momonga sighed internally while he kept forcing his fleshy body to cry all over the blob of quivering flesh, which gradually started to return to Serafall's earlier 'normal' shape.

It took quite bit of crying to restore most of her health, and Momonga felt that the forced crying had almost become real crying as he noticed that his level-progress to hundred and two had been essentially negated by the healing tears' experience-draining. He stopped before he could dip below hundred and one, however, and decided to let Serafall heal the rest of her health naturally.

Momonga figured that his job was done since the magical girl-Maou's breathing had returned to normal and her skin had returned to a healthy hue. However, she didn't wake up and seemed to be utterly out cold. 'Hm? Is there some other altercation…. Oh.'

Serafall was puckering her lips.

Momonga sighed. '...Of course.'

He leaned to kiss the Maou on the lips, and Serafall perked up instantly. And tied her arms around Momonga's neck while pulling him deeper into the kiss that, considering the situation and the viscera and pus all around the room, felt quite inappropriate.

Momonga pulled himself off the girl as she seemed to get her fill of the 'wake-up kiss' and released his neck.

"Ahem. Greetings, Serafall-sama." Momonga greeted the girl as she woke up properly while blinking in an innocent manner, as if she was preparing a speech about knight charming coming to wake her. And then the stench of rot in the room hit her and she held her nose.

"Uwaah! Mo-kun is acting super formal again… And this hospital is gross! What happened?!" Serafall took a look around the tainted room, and then noticed Sona who was still shivering and prostrating towards Momonga on the floor. "So-tan! What's wrong?!"

The magical-girl seemed to de-materialize from the bed and reappeared beside Sona, drawing the latter into a tight hug. "Shh… It's alright, So-tan… I'm here now… I was just a teeny tiny bit hurt but now it's all good…"

Sona let a sound that was somewhere between a hiccup and a muted apology while Serafall rubbed her back.

"Well then. Since Serafall-sama is healed we should probably relocate somewhere that isn't coated in… stuff." Momonga glanced at the walls.

It seemed that the words caused Grayfia to snap out of her stupor. The gray-haired maid opened the door, allowing the devils and 'devil' within to file out and enter an empty lobby of sorts.

Serafall was hugging Sona all the way through the walk to one of the empty couches… and then the magical-girl Maou noticed a ring in Sona's finger. "So-tan! What's that? It gives off… kinda weird vibes…"

Sona opened her mouth a few times, closed it, sent Momonga a glance that seemed desperate somehow, and then opened her mouth to speak. "I-it is my engagement ring... "

"Your… Oh! That's right! I lost against Mo-kun…" Serafall seemed to recall the events of the past days. "Nooooooo! No! No way! I missed So-tan's engagement ceremony! I'm the worst big sis! Uwaaah! I'm so sowwy..."

"Ahem… I seem to recall that you did appear mid-ceremony, no?" Momonga sweated a bit over the girl's distress.

"...Oh! That's right... Uh… My memory is kinda groggy, but I think I remember So-tan being distressed and I hopped over into some party or something..." Serafall put her hand between her breast and rummaged around a bit, finally pulling out a distressed-looking pink fairy. "Ehe… I was spying on So-tan with this. It can work like a one-way phone if I order it to open a view when it's under my clothes. Sorry, So-tan, I did a naughty…"

'Hm. Could it be that Serafall has been using that to spy on me as well?' Momonga felt sweat drip down his neck as he remembered the pink fairy he had given to the Maou, a creature which was created through [Bless of Titania]. 'It should just lead whoever controls it through the least dangerous path to its target… Don't tell me that it was corrupted by ero-world as well? Then again, the [Lead of Yatagarasu] also worked a bit oddly… However she should have been unconscious when I contacted the Elder Lich, assuming she actually spied on me… And assuming that the fairy could pierce my anti-divination wards...'

Sona hiccupped, drawing Serafall's attention.

In moments Serafall was rubbing Sona's face with a napkin while the younger sister shivered and was hugging Serafall back with all her strength. "There, there… So-tan… I wuv you too…"

"T-thank you… Thank you. I'm… I'll… I… T-thank you…" Sona whimpered in Momonga's direction.

"You're welcome. Although, I would have healed Serafall nonetheless." Momonga offered diplomatically.

"Uwaah… Mo-kun is turbo-formal… Was it that bad?" Serafall turned her attention back to Momonga for a moment.

"It was quite bad. I might have gone overboard in our duel… for that I apol-"

"Noooo! Stop! Super-lame! Stop! Restart!" Serafall denied Momonga's attempt to bow his head by putting her hand on his temple and lifting the head upright.

"Ha… Of course, Sera-tan." Momonga chuckled as he remembered that he'd need to invoke his Chunni in order to act properly with Serafall. "However, with that being said... So-tan is now mine."

"Noooo!" Serafall wobbled back and forth in mock horror, which caused Sona to wobble as well as she was hugging Serafall as if her life depended on it. Or rather, as if Serafall's life depended on it. "But you beat me… But! You must get my consent! And to get that, you need So-tan's consent-"

"I consent." Sona blurted out in panic, almost tripping on her words in her hurry to get them out and stammering almost as if she was panicking and looking for the right words to say. "I… lo... love Momon-sama. Truly. Without a doubt. P-please, don't make this an issue, Serafall-san…"

Serafall seemed to stumble mid-speech as well as she turned to stare at Sona. "So-tan?! Uwaa! You sound super uncomfortable?! What happened! Sera-tan is here for you, so let me know what's troubling your heart!"

"Ahem…" Grayfia re-announced her presence by coughing to the back of her fist. "While we all understand Sona-sama's state is of concern for you, Serafall-sama, you need to report to Sirzechs-sama first. There have been… important developments that you need to know of. More important than Sona's tears, I'm afraid."

"I'm alright. Please don't worry about me, Serafall-san." Sona wobbled and her face was pale as she spoke to Serafall. "Y-you have your duties, s-sister… And I have mine…"

"..." Serafall squinted her eyes at Sona, and then turned them slowly towards Momonga.

"I'll talk to Sona and see if I can find out what's going on, don't worry. Sona-san's been acting like that since our duel." Momonga promised Serafall and she sighed in relief. And Sona seemed to sigh in despair, for some reason.

"Alright! But you better treat So-chan like a queen or there will be repercussions! And with that said, I'll be going… uh, as soon as I find clothes that aren't soaked in whatever this stuff is…" Serafall seemed to notice the puss-caked hospital gown she still wore, and then noticed that Sona's clothes had been equally ruined by the substances when she had hugged her sister.

Momonga re-created the gothic-style frilly dress with pink details with [Create Greater Item] and offered it to her. "I think the showers are, um, that way? Oh. Nevermind."

Serafall had created a localized rainstorm above her head and was currently taking a shower in the fortunately otherwise empty hospital lobby. And she had stripped off her clothes with zero shame, displaying the fairly short girl's quite nice curves to Momonga without hesitation.

Both Sona and Grayfia looked quite resigned, but Momonga had already grown used to ero-world's ero-ways and thus was merely holding the clothes up and waiting for Serafall to finish up with her impromptu shower.

"Aaah… I feel refreshed now…" Serafall sighed in a content way as she shook herself to get rid of the water clinging to her skin, causing all sorts of wobbles that made Sona look positively outraged and just a bit scared. "Oh! Those cute clothes again!"

Serafall slipped into the gothic-style dress and made a few pirouettes. "It's as comfy as I remember it being! And it makes me look like a dark lady of some sort! Thanks!"

"You're welcome-"

"Oooh, the drama! The dark seductive knight saved me and kissed me until I came to my senses, and now donned this innocent, sick and adorable magical girl in a dark garb…" Serafall seemed to realize something as she patted the clothes, causing Momonga's cordial words to come to a stop.

'I suppose I should act the part…' Momonga sighed internally as he stood up to point his finger towards Serafall in a 'villainous' way and adopted what he hoped to be a cruel and mocking expression. "So you noticed! Indeed, it was my goal to corrupt you… And you've fallen for my ploy! Those clothes are but a part of your transformation! And soon you'll fall to my arms, happy and content with your new role as one of my dark ladies!"

"Uwaah! Only one of, but not the dark lady?!" Serafall made a dramatic spin on the spot and fell on her back, allowing Momonga to catch her mid-fall while she did a picture-perfect show of a fainting maiden on his arms- Even to the point of holding her temple with the back of her hand in an exaggerated motion while the other swung limply towards the floor. "How despicable! The Dark Lord of Awesome was an adulterer all along! Innocent magical girl like me is just a snack for him! But I shall prevail! My friendship with So-tan is unbreakable, and my bedroom-fu is top notch, so I shall conquer you instead! And then you'll become my dark lady!"

"You'll find your powers useless against me, for I have the power of ero-boosters!" Momonga ignored the horrifying threat in order to make a grand flourish, which disguised him getting a can of the blue stuff from his inventory, and raised the can towards the ceiling as if it was a scepter of power which caused Serafall to gasp in a theatherical way. 'Hm. It seems that this 'Actor' skill-class is working quite nicely. Although, I'm not sure how happy I am with the fact my chuuni leveled itself up to the point it became an actual skill…'

"Noo! This cannot be! My power wanes!" Serafall wailed melodramatically. "Next you'll grab me by the butt and then…"

"Ahem." Grayfia coughed to the back of her fist once more, causing the two 'actors' to realize that there were two more people in the room.

"Umu… Sorry:" Momonga let Serafall fall from his hands, causing the girl to let out a 'boing' sound as she hit the floor and bumped up as if she had landed on a bouncy-castle, bouncing a good seven feet to the air and landing on her hands. Which then caused the dress to flop down and display the pink-striped underwear Momonga didn't remember creating.

The magical-girl Maou then displayed her flexibility by doing a trapez-dancer's landing on the floor and then almost hugged Sona out of instinct as the motion had carried her in front of the black-haired girl.

However, considering that Sona's clothes were stained by pus, Serafall resisted the instinctive hugging with great difficulty and instead patted the girl's cheeks in a reassuring manner. "I'll be gone for a while! And I'll be alright, so don't worry about me, So-tan! We'll be together again soon and we can talk about your engagement, cute things, and then all sorts of things… ehehe."

Sona merely nodded in a shocked, resigned and borderline emotionless way, causing Serafall to let a cutesy 'moe' sound to try to reassure her sister and then kissed the top of Sona's head before teleporting away.

"So… Is there anything else? It's getting a bit late…" Momonga asked Grayfia while motioning towards a window which showed the slowly-reddening evening sky. "Ah, and please don't worry about that display just now- Serafall and I have a… thing going, and that sort of theatherics have become quite common for us. I hope you weren't bothered by that?"

"Not at all, Momon-sama." Grayfia did a small curtsy towards Momonga, albeit her face was pale and hands a bit shaky before she seemed to compose herself. "I have other duties to attend to, so please excuse me."

"Of course, of course… I'll be going as well. Sona?" Momonga created a [Gate] and motioned for Sona to follow. 'Hm, I think that went… Uh, mostly well. I think Serafall was somewhat upset by Sona's… well, mental state but I should be able to get to the bottom of that soon and get her sorted out before Serafall gets back from that conference or something...'

He walked into the [Gate]'s swirling portal and Sona followed him, and the two were deposited into Momonga's new quarters in Phenix castle-mansion.

Momonga walked over to a comfortable-looking couch and sat down as he noted that the two were in the 'living room' part of the extensive quarters that were a bit too gaudy for his tastes, but nonetheless soldiered on. 'Hm… It feels as if the 'fleshy' sensations like comfort are getting stronger the longer I am in this body… I wonder if it's starting to fuse to me, or me to it? I'll have to be careful not to indulge myself too much in the comforts or I'll end up as a sorry affair…'

He handwaved Ddraig off before the dragon could give its two cents on the matter.

Sona twitched violently as she glanced around the living room and realized where she was. "I… My lord, I apologize for my rash actio-"

"Ahem, before we talk, you should probably take a shower…" Momonga motioned towards the bathroom as Sona's clothes were still stained. 'That can't be comfortable…'

Sona gulped, nodded, and then looked down. "I… understand, master…"

Momonga sighed as the girl walked off. 'What's going on with her… Ah well. I'll just have to go with her whims, since if I land on her wrong side then she can essentially turn Serafall against me… and I'll need strong allies, now more than ever...'

He glanced around the room and noticed that the bedroom door was slightly open. 'Hm. I thought I closed it after we left… I wonder if Lady Phenix visited afterwards? Or- ah. Of course. Quarters this big must have steady rotation of maids and whatnot that come to clean it... '

Momonga cast a quick [Detect Life] and noticed that there were two life-signs in the quarters, one that had fairly meager amounts of 'health' and one that had a relatively high amount of health, the latter of which was in the showers. In other words, there was likely a maid or other servant who was cleaning the multi-room quarters.

'Hm… Well, it's not like I'm doing anything shady here… I should probably let the service staff do their thing.' Momonga dismissed the life-signs from his mind. 'Getting Sona to snap out of that depressive state takes priority… I'll just hope that I can talk her out of it…'

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