Chapter 21: Fall over when running to kitchen

"...I think we should go see the student council first." Rias said as the group consisted of her, Momonga, Akeno, Asia and Yuuto walked past the school gates. The gates had been locked, but something as mundane as a physical lock that wouldn't stop the group from advancing, specifically when Rias had a spare key for the lock.

"Student council?" Momonga asked. "Ah, to apologize for being late, right."

"No, I think that apology goes to the teacher, but I think we should introduce you and Sona Sitri to each other. She's the sister of Serafall Leviathan, one of the four Maous of Underworld. Pretty much the same way I'm the sister of Sirzechs who's the reigning Maou." Rias sighed. "She goes by Souna Shitori in the Human World. Yes, not the most original alias. I know."

'Hm, so she'd make an excellent hostage…'

"And if you seduce her then I'll never forgive you." Rias growled. "She's… I consider her to be a good friend. Erm, a friend. Acquaintance who I trust. Mostly."

'I'll have to find an alternative way to get her within my grasp.' Momonga altered his plan as he heard Rias's half-growl while giving a resolute pre-baked agreement to her words, then paused mentally. 'Wait, was 'seducing her' my first idea?'

Momonga did a mental one-eighty and backtracked to his initial line of thoughts while Akeno seemed amused by his panic that must have shown on his face. 'Oh no. Oh no, no no. This world, this world is somehow capable of piercing through my racial traits…'

A horrifying realization came over Momonga as he realized his situation, which had crept over him slowly like a net sinking around a fish that wouldn't realize it's need to escape until all routes of escape had been cut off. 'I've… I've become an adulterer and a pervert without even noticing it happened!'

The shame he felt kept popping up over and over despite his emotion suppression pushing it down each time, and he hadn't even realized he had walked behind Rias until the group had reached a door with a plaque that said 'Student Council' on it.

At some point Asia and Yuuto had departed to their own classrooms, leaving the two alone. Rias had nodded to Akeno and the raven-haired girl had shrugged and had gone on her way as well, except it didn't look like she was going to a classroom based on the direction she went in.

Rias knocked on the door twice and entered, dragging Momonga behind her.

He glanced around the tidy, if somewhat old-fashioned room that had its walls practically overflowing with bookshelves that contained the familiar sight of rows and rows of files, and decided that whoever Sona Sitri was, she was no slouch when it came to paperwork. There were also few comfortable-looking couches that he guessed were for sleeping in the office should Sona work so late that it would be pointless to try to commute home.

Suzuki Saotoru approved of her diligence. Most of the work in his previous world had been recorded in neural implants or in computer-based storage, but papers still held a symbolic meaning, while also being a storage device for information with no remote access, outside using other electronics like cameras to catch a screenshot of the paper's contents, or hacking the eyes of whoever had been looking at the paper at the time, or the hands of whoever had been writing the paper. And sleep-in couches were always a nice touch, although most of the time only managers were allowed to sleep in on them.

He had been so absorbed in his thoughts that he barely heard Rias greet a slim violet-eyed girl with short black hair and glasses. Momonga turned his attention towards her as he heard his new fake name in the mix.

"...So, the reason Issei Hyoudou and the rest of your Peerage have been out is because of the current situation my sister has been talking about?" Sona concluded with a sigh that would have made any office worker proud. "Ah, true, I should be calling you Momon Phenix now, correct?"

"That is so, Sona-sama." 'Momon' bowed politely towards the girl, causing her to double-take his behaviour. "And I truly cannot remember anything prior to the… incident, so I've chosen the first name as a way of forging a new self-identity instead of attempting to fit into Issei's clothes and, metaphorically speaking, become a mimic of his actions. It would be disrespectful towards his parents who raised him, against people who knew him, and to his memory."

"Well, if what little I've observed is any indication of the rest, then nothing of value was lost." Sona adjusted her glasses while Rias stomped her feet angrily.

"Sona-chan!"

"Rias-san, please. You've not had the distinct pleasure of dealing with the immense amount of complaints and paperwork Issei has caused me with his constant harassment of girls and peeping on them. Nor the headache he has caused me in personal capacity." Sona's voice was like a hammer striking against Momonga's already brittle mental image of Issei. "Speaking of which, I've heard the Phenix family won the Rating Game?"

"Y-yeah, but Riser died. So um, things happened and Is- er, Momon has been adopted to Phenix house…" Rias blushed a bit.

"I could guess as much from his last name…"

"...And we're married now."

"...I could have guessed that as well, but honestly, if I did, I'd have sought mental help afterwards." Sona noted dryly. "Do you play chess, Iss- hm, I'll have to reorganize my thoughts. I've become so used to cursing your name that it comes naturally at this point. My apologies, Momon-san."

"It's perfectly alright, no apologies are needed. After all, it would be quite foolish of me to do something as drastic as changing my name and not give the people surrounding me time to adjust." 'Momon' nodded politely and sat down on the seat Sona indicated while she pulled out a chess set.

"My, I think we'll get along fantastically from now on." Sona almost smiled at the words. Almost. It was more akin to a slight twitch in the corner of her mouth while her face was otherwise unmoved.

"Isse- Momon…" Rias's tone carried a definite warning. "What. Did. I. Say…"

"Don't worry, I remember my promise." Momonga nodded at Rias while Sona looked curious. "I won't attempt to seduce Sona-sama."

Sona seemed to stumble when setting up the chess pieces, then looked at Rias as if the girl had sprouted horns and a tail instead of just blushing to her eyebrows and starting to shake.

"Ah, some explanations may be in order. In truth, while I'm married to Rias, I consider three other girls to be my lovers as well. We all know about each other and share a bed." Momonga explained to Sona, whose chessboard-setting motions had turned robotic and twitchy while Rias slowly turned towards Momonga, almost as if she was moving in slow motion, and her face paled at the same speed. "In truth, I was somewhat apprehensive of the whole idea initially but in the end it allowed us to resolve a situation that might have turned quite ugly as far as my Peerage's internal trust and relations are concerned. Nevertheless I am quite happy that it turned out that way, as it also allows Rias to be with her lover, Akeno."

Sona's movements halted before she could complete the chess set, just holding onto a King piece.

Something seemed to snap in the girl.

She then flipped the chess set over.

"WHAT?!"

Rias's mouth fell open.

"AHAHAHA!" *crash*

A loud girly giggle combined with a sudden crash caused the room's occupants to pause, with Sona paling to the point her skin could be compared to paper and Rias taking hold of a couch to keep herself from falling over after seeing the fourth, previously hidden, person in the room.

And Momonga stared at the fourth person in the room, who had fallen out of a closed filing closet, and was giggling madly.

His mouth was open as his mind had come to a complete halt with just faint 'Eeeeeehhhh?!" echoing in his barren mindscape.

"Aha!" the pink-clad girl who had fallen out of the closet bounced up with near unnatural cheer in her step, struck a pose with one hand holding her staff up high, one eye closed, one eye open, and her free hand in a 'victory' pose towards Momonga. She then bit her tongue mischievously. "Magical Girl Milky Spiral Seven, present! I have arrived to cleanse this world of evil and poor quality knockoffs!"

"..." Sona covered her face with her hands.

"I'm also known as Serafall Leviathan, or one of the four Maous of the Underworld, but you can call me Levi-tan, Momon-kun! I listened in, don't worry, I didn't stalk you, not that you noticed I did, or didn't!" The bizzare girl changed poses mid-speech, this time pointing her staff at Momon while having one leg up so her feet rested on the other's knee- making sure her stance would give a certain camera angle a good view of what was under her short frilly pink skirt. "And I shall not allow you to seduce my dear sister, So-tan! Beware, potential boyfriend-kun, put your hands upon my adorable So-tan at your own peril!"

'The… raid boss… Maou… is a Magical Girl.'

"Umu." Momonga nodded seriously, practically feeling his mind getting torn apart even though Undead were immune to mental attacks.

His Emotion Suppression let one last groan of an overworked office worker, not quite dead but as close as a racial trait could be.

Something broke.

Momonga then bowed in an overly showy fashion, turned around with equal flare, and adjusted a hat he didn't have while glancing over his shoulder at the magical girl. "I shall take this advice to heart, Magical Girl Milky Spiral Seven, or if you'd prefer, Levi-tan"

He felt that it was appropriate considering the situation.

He remembered a creature with face barren of all features except for three dots making its eyes and mouth, clad in a yellow military uniform.

Momonga remembered the 'cool' flavor text he had written for his creation when he had been younger in his 'chuunibyou' phase, even as his mind was regressing back to the state it had been back then due to pink-clad circumstances in front of his physical body.

Momonga and Suzuki Satorou could feel his soul screaming for help. But Touch Me-plushie was shocked to silence. So was Peroroncino-plushie, albeit for a different reason.

Momonga could feel his mind breaking despite his now-dying emotion suppression and still 'intact' undead immunity to mental ailments.

'There are powerful non-cosplayer mahou shoujo-type magical girls in this world… that show Beelzebub raved about was not a show, but a documentary!' The mental words were like hammer-strikes upon a screaming bell that wailed doom upon all the land inside his mind, accompanied by a skeletal figure falling on its back inside Momonga's mind. 'Abandon reason, know only war, and pink pantyshots! Mom, I want off Peroroncino's wild ride.'

The magical girl seemed to stumble on flat ground upon hearing the speech that had left Momonga's mouth, and seeing the overacted flourish he had performed.

"You!" The girl pointed her 'magical girl wand' at Momonga. "You! Who is your producer?! What agency do you work for?! I want you in my show! You'll make theperfect bad guy! The manners! The speech! The flourish! Your antagonist potential is off the charts!"

"You shall know me as… Momon Phenix! Momon, the Dark Phoenix ! Or Mo-kun!" 'Momonga' turned towards the pink-clad girl with a flare that would have caused the cloth around his waist to billow, but only if he had been wearing a military-style trench coat that was only worn properly on one side and just hung off his shoulder on the other.

The girl's eyes were sparkling.

And at the same time a skeletal, robe-clad figure was lying on its back on the barren wasteland that was Momonga's mind, completely exhausted despite the fact Undead had unlimited stamina. For some reason the skeleton was lying in front of a tombstone with the words 'What you did yesterday, haunts you today' written on it. The undead reached for the bleak sky above and let its skeletal hand fall down powerlessly beside its body. 'I… I'm sorry, I couldn't… Ainz Ooal Gown, my friends... please remember me, as I was, not as what I have become…'

"SO COOL" 'Levi-tan' jumped on the spot, lifting her magical staff to the sky. "So-tan! You have found a super-cool boyfriend! I approve! But no kids or hanky-panky or touchy-feely until you're at least fifty!"

Unfortunately, at that point, neither Sona or Rias could answer on the account that both had passed out where they had stood, the magical girl's last words being the nails on the coffins of the girl's consciousness.

Momonga wanted to join them in blissful unconsciousness. But unfortunately, undead couldn't just faint.

Oh, how he wished he could.

.

.

A shaky hand tried to keep a cup of tea from spilling over too much.

"So…" Sona tried to re-open the conversation, looking like a war veteran with severe PTSD trigger locked to full auto and going off. "So…"

"No…" Rias agreed while her hand was equally shaky and her face was equally pale. "No…"

"Whoa, you'd look perfect with a yellow military uniform and a trench coat and some chains and a cap and, and…" a pink ball of excitement was bouncing around Momonga who tried his best to keep himself from falling back to his base instincts or casting [Undead Army] fully concentrated on the Student Council room he was occupying.

Momonga tried to stay as still as possible while sitting on a couch, while the two other non-magical girls in the room were sitting on the other side of the coffee table that was in front of him.

His mind and being had only barely survived the first encounter with the pink Maou, and he did not want to risk oblivion again so soon.

"Hey, actually, do you think we could keep him, So-tan? Please, pretty please? We're sisters, right? We can share hobbies and puppies!" 'Levi-tan' seemed to materialize behind Momonga and she hugged him from behind like one would hug a cute cat they had just found, except that she pressed her breasts to the back of Momonga's host body's head in a way that when the breasts were allowed to move, they bounced on both sides of his head.

The teacup fell from Rias's hands, although luckily she had managed to down her tea beforehand (which was quite the feat as it had likely reached the saturation point of sugar in water multiple times over).

A horrified realization came across the red-head's features and she practically jumped up.

"Momon! NO SEDUCING SONA OR SERAFALL LEVIATHAN!" She practically shrieked while Sona's teacup fell down as well.

"Aw, you're no fun, Ri-tan ." Serafall pouted. "You'll get wrinkles if you frown and pout, and then Momon does the bad guy thing and breaks up with you, and I'll snatch him from under you ! Think of the viewer numbers! We could make it a reality drama !"

Rias almost fell over again.

"Is it always like this?" Sona asked with a flat, lifeless voice.

"Yes." Rias agreed equally lifelessly.

The two girls embraced eachother tightly, the shared mental torture uniting the two princesses of two different houses as sisters.

"Uwah… So-tan hates me now…" Serafall seemed to become depressed upon seeing Sona's reaction, so Momonga reached to pat the magical girl's head. "Oho? Ohohohoho? Hohoo?"

The surprised and approving sounds the girl was making did not make Momonga's attempt to recover from the mental overload he had suffered mere minutes ago any easier.

He attempted to pull his hand away, but it was snatched by something with speed that far surpassed Momonga's senses to the point he almost suspected the girl now holding his hand had used [Time Stop], if not for the fact one couldn't affect physical things while time was stopped, and then the magical girl placed his hand back on her head.

He pat the magical girl again.

Sona turned to look at the interaction, paling utterly and attempting to disentangle from her hug with Rias to no avail, as Rias was holding Sona for her dear life while looking at the hand patting the magical girl-mahou-maou with horror in the red-headed girl's eyes.

"Moshi moshi… Ara?" A voice accompanied a knock on the door and someone opened it in quick succession.

Akeno stepped into the room, and froze mid-step.

The girl looked at the scenario that was unfolding in the room for a moment.

"Ah, I know this looks bad but I don't think it's what I think it is. Rias and Sona are just… uh, comforting each other, I think." Momonga welcomed the chance to break out of the crazy that had just happened with a bit of normalcy in the shape of defending Rias's honor and her relationship despite the fact the red-head was holding Sona as if her life depended on it. "Don't worry Akeno. I watched."

Akeno blinked, looked at Rias, then to Serafall who was still getting pats on her head, and then to Momonga.

The girl stepped out of the room, closed the door behind herself, and then knocked again before letting herself in again.

She fell over in a dead faint after seeing that the situation hadn't changed.

'Oh come on…'

"I have decided. You shall not die today. No, instead, you shall become… my Knight!" Serafall announced, pointing her finger at Momonga who didn't pause the headpats.

"Your knight in shining armor, I hope?"

"No, my dread knight in black shining armor, riding a stylish animal, like a wolf or a snake or a hamster and as your ultimate move you'll shed your armor and reveal your true form of a trench-coat wearing master actor and a master of all things evil-related!" Serafall announced as she brought out a Knight Evil Piece from seemingly nowhere, and held it against Momon's chest before he could object, causing Rias's eyes to nearly bulge out of their sockets and Sona to hold to Rias for her dear life, reversing their roles.

Nothing happened and she pushed it a bit harder. "Awa?"

Serafall's eyes seemed to bulge out of their sockets as well as she seemed to realize something. "Y-you're the King of your own Peerage?"

"Yes, Levi-tan."

"Wah… Waaaahh!" The magical girl flopped over on Momonga's lap, crying literalrivers from both her eyes, staining the couch. "I thought I found one, but I was catfished! Cheated! Netorared! I want to crash on So-tan's couch and eat a mountain of ice-cream!"

Momonga patted the girl's head numbly and her tears calmed eventually, although he suspected the council room might have some moisture damage. "Muuh. I'm still mad at you, but I won't eat you. Or slay you, evildoer! But So-tan's virginity better stay there until she's ready and I give the green light, though, Mo-kun "

"Of course." Momonga answered resolutely before he thought about the implications of his answer.

The magical girl looked like she wanted to say something, but a loud buzz came from under the front of her skirt.

Serafall blushed deeply, as did Momonga and the rest of the still conscious occupants of the room, until the magical girl pulled a pink glitter-covered phone from a skirt pocket that was for some reason under the front of her skirt, causing the people around her to let a quiet sigh of relief in realization.

She then looked at the phone, hopped from Momonga's lap, went to hug stunned Sona, and then twirled around until she sat on the windowsill.

"I'll be seeing you three, er, three plus the unconcious girl on the floor! There's 'super serious magical girl stuff' going on so I'll have to go! Be well, my evil antagonist not-Knight, Momon the Dark Phoenix-kun!" Serafall announced before falling out of the window.

Sona and Rias seemed to slump to their knees, still holding onto each other, and passed out in each other's arms, making now a grand total of three girls lying unconscious on the student council room's floor.

Momonga sighed and reached for a cup of tea in front of him, finding that the tea had gone cold.

'Why does this keep happening to meeeeeeeee…'

.

.

The door to the room opened and the rest of the student council members entered it, the group being composed entirely out of Sona Sitri's Peerage, and paused almost instantly upon seeing the state of the room.

Both of the 'Great onee-samas of Kuoh' were passed out on the floor alongside their King, the 'Beautiful President' of the Student Council, and the trio of unconscious girls looked like they had been dragged on top of some pillows that had likely come from the couches in the room.

And, the group also spotted Issei Hyoudou, who was sipping cold tea while sitting on a couch that looked like it had been tumbled around in and had wet spots all around it.

"I don't suppose we could talk about this first?" Issei sighed with a tired voice that wouldn't seem odd coming from a middle-aged man but sounded incredibly out of place coming from the lips of the 'Leader of the Perverted Trio of Kuoh'.

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