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Desolate Fate

On the day he first met a cultivator, Yaan’s life was changed forever. All that he cared for was ripped away from him. He was forced into a despair-inducing situation, but he endured, he fought, he refused to give up. But why did he persevere, what drove him to go on? With nothing to return to, his hatred and rage fuelled his will to survive… But hatred begets more hatred and the flames of rage are extinguished with time. He was desperately clinging to any thread of meaning that he could find, but heated emotions do not last forever, and ambitions are rarely easily achieved. A person changes over time, often into that which they once despised… Life…is a struggle. A struggle against the world, a struggle against our own nature, and a struggle against fate. This is the tale of a lone person’s struggle through a twisted world, and his desperate attempt to resist his desolate fate.

SpicyDaoist · Fantasy
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427 Chs

Why Do You Cultivate?

Now that Ghu Nadda had cut himself off from all external matters as he focussed on breaking through to the 4th Layer Qi Palace Realm, Yaan found himself out of a job. Even so, with his current wealth, this wasn't a big issue.

Aside from Nadda, he didn't really have any other connections in this city. With nothing immediately pressing to attend to, Yaan decided to wander through the busy city streets alone.

North Ghu City was bustling with activity these days. Cultivators from the surrounding hundreds of miles had made the journey to the city due to the inheritance, which would be opening soon once again.

The inheritance opened once every ten years. Not everyone showed up every decade, but enough cultivators from across the Northern Ghu Province would make their way here with each opening, causing the city to become noticeably more lively. In some places it was actually quite crowded, making it difficult to walk by, even in these broad and usually spacious streets.

When he saw these travelling cultivators from all walks of life, he fell into thought about the wider world. During his stay in this city, Yaan had expanded his knowledge regarding the Ghu Province's geography, and he even vaguely knew of what lay beyond these lands.

The Ghu Clan was the overlord of the Ghu Province, but there were other significant factions, such as the nine Northern organisations along the Greenwood Mountain Range. There were other organisations which possessed similar strength to these located further South and along the Western coast, which bordered a vast ocean with no end in sight. To the East was the Jyu Province, whilst the Bal Province bordered the Ghu Province to the Southeast. He knew the names of those provinces, but Yaan knew very little about those places and how they compared to the Ghu Province.

Of course, a lone inheritance wouldn't attract attention from different provinces; honestly, most cultivators wouldn't even bother travelling from as far as the Central Ghu Province. The inheritance opened every decade, it would be too absurd if it attracted people from so far away with every single opening.

And to be honest, Yaan still wasn't sure whether or not the Northern organisations would be attending…

Yaan thought about the various things he had experienced and learned since arriving in this city two years ago. As he walked though the streets and examined the various wares for sale, he realised something.

None of these things caught his eye anymore.

In the past, a Rank 3 recovery pill would have made him feel an extreme desire, but nowadays, such a pill was basically spare change to him. His requirement for resources was beyond monstrous now, Rank 3 pills were the lowest level of resource that could actually be of use. Even then, he would need far too many medicines if he was only using ordinary Rank 3 resources.

Eventually, Yaan decided to visit the Bloody Arena. Unfortunately, it was extremely crowded all around and he doubted that he would find anyone who could help him anyway, so he sighed and turned to leave.

"Eh? Oh, young master Yaan!"

Yaan paused and turned slightly as a familiar voice entered his ears. When he recognised the source of this voice, he couldn't help but smile.

"Leon, it's been a while." Unexpectedly, Yaan ran into Leon, the young man who acted as his guide when he first arrived in North Ghu City!

"Haha, it's just a couple of years. Hey, how about I give you another tour, eh?" The young man's eyes shone as he thought about Yaan's generosity in the past.

Yaan chuckled slightly and gave a nod. He was in a unique mood right now, and meeting an old acquaintance caused a trace of nostalgia to sprout within his heart.

Leon's expression lit up and he rushed to Yaan's side, then began pushing through the crowd so that Yaan had a clear path to walk. A few people looked at him in annoyance, but when they saw Yaan trailing close behind him calmly, they stopped themselves and became cautious.

Even though Yaan wasn't openly releasing his aura, unknowingly, his temperament had gradually developed into that of an expert after going through so many life and death battles. Combined with his youthful appearance, and most people didn't want to risk offending him.

Leon acted casually, but he was secretly shocked. Yaan had clearly changed, yet he also hadn't changed at all!

Appearance wise, he looked exactly the same as before, though he was perhaps slightly paler, with a more refined and less confrontational aura. He was no less terrifying though, the opposite was in fact true. Despite restraining his aura, Yaan's calm demeanour showed his confidence in his strength. He carried himself in a way that Leon often saw in sect elders, making him feel an instinctual sense of respect.

"Young master, where would you like to visit this time?"

"Hmm…I was just thinking that I would like to move to the inner sector."

"Inner sector? This…" Leon looked uncertain and scratched his head.

"If you're thinking that it's too expensive, then it shouldn't be a problem." Yaan replied confidently. Although he used up most of his valuable pills during his 3-Star ascension, he still had 12 Rank 4 Vital Recovery Pills remaining, along with many valuable treasures which would definitely fetch a high price should he choose to sell them.

"Young master, even the cheapest residences cost one Rank 3 recovery pill each month to rent…" Leon smiled wryly, shaking his head and sighing at the absurdly high price.

Yaan nodded, it was actually a bit cheaper than he had expected. It was still 200 times more than the cheapest accommodation in the outer sector, but there was no longer anything in the outer sector that interested him, aside from the Bloody Arena, but even the arena was actually on the sector border.

"That's not a problem. I'm willing to pay up to five Rank 3 recovery pills per month, but only if it comes with an excellent training facility that makes it worth the price." Yaan had plenty of money, but he didn't want to squander his funds pointlessly.

Leon's jaw dropped.

"Young master, you were actually so rich?!"

"I just got a job like you suggested. Some things happened and I came into some money."

Leon stared at him dumbfoundedly, but Yaan just shrugged in response.

"Here." He threw a small pill to Leon. He looked away after glancing at it briefly, thinking that it was just the usual payment, but then suddenly, his head whipped back towards the pill with a gaze that could cut through steel.

"R-Rank 3 recovery pill! Young master, this, I, I can't accept it, this is too-"

"Just take it." Yaan interrupted, stretching his arm out and closing Leon's hand around the pill. "This isn't much for me. Consider it your advance for finding me a good home at a good price. A place, within five miles of the Bloody Arena would be best, and training facilities are a definite plus. Also, I need a decent amount of secure storage…"

Why was Yaan being generous? Well, firstly, this really wasn't much for him. Secondly, he understood that Leon was the sort of person who would work hard if you paid him generously. Hopefully, by paying Leon this generous advance, he would be able to save some money.

Yaan sighed when he thought about all of the wealth that he had accumulated. Unless he wanted to reveal the true nature of his cultivation and hire a servant to open his spatial ring for him, his only option was to store his riches in a secure vault.

He would keep some of his more valuable riches within a spatial ring, but that ring only contained the things which Yaan had no use for right now. When the time came that he needed to access those items, he would find someone to open the ring for him.

This was one of the reasons that Yaan was moving to the inner sector; currently, those items were stored within his temple in the outer sector, hidden in a secret basement that he dug out personally. This was only a temporary solution, it wasn't secure enough that he felt comfortable leaving everything like that for a long period of time.

Yaan already knew that Leon was an excellent guide who specialised in haggling prices down by an impossible margin. Ever since Yaan started working with Nadda, his perception of money had undergone a drastic change. A single Rank 3 recovery pill really wasn't much to him now, so he was willing to show his sincerity to Leon by paying him upfront.

You could never have too much money, but there was also no reason to hoard wealth. Money existed to be spent…money, in Yaan's eyes, was simply a means to an end. If he had an endless amount of money, then his training speed would become dumbfounding.

That said, he realised that he was a bit strange in this regard. Others seemed to get stuck at bottlenecks for years at a time, unable to improve due to their insufficient dao comprehension. To this day, Yaan didn't understand the concept of 'dao' at all, yet he apparently had such an incredible comprehension over the dao that he never found himself stuck at realm boundaries.

'Dao is the laws of this world!'

'Dao is the flow of all things through time and space…'

'Dao is oneself.'

'Dao is the experience of your own existence.'

'Dao is the connection between the self and the world, all carried effortlessly like an endless river through time.'

Whenever he asked others about this matter, he would receive flowery answers like this. Honestly, these words always sounded like empty poetry to him; it sounded nice, but it didn't really mean anything.

He could only conclude that the truth lay with one of two possibilities. Firstly, it was possible that nobody actually knew what dao was, and they were all just pretending to understand it. The second possibility was that people were terrible at describing and explaining dao, making it difficult to understand dao through words alone.

Whatever it was, Yaan supposed that it didn't really matter so long as he continued to improve. Once he actually reached a difficult bottleneck, he would probably give it some more thought.

With Yaan's requirements in mind, Leon ran off and promised to return at the same time the following day. Yaan didn't return home, but spent this day wandering around the inner sector and visiting some interesting looking shops. He didn't buy anything yet, since he intended to have Leon find him better prices on everything that he needed.

Half a day later, Leon returned, having found 12 prospective new homes. Of these places, he pointed out three which suited Yaan's needs the best. However, these three were also the most pricey.

After visiting the temples, mansions, palaces and other grand feats of architecture adored by rich cultivators, Yaan settled on the third of the top three chosen by Leon.

"This…I know it fits everything you wanted, but is this really worth four Rank 3 recovery pills every single month?" Leon asked uncertainly. To him, this was simply an exorbitant sum of wealth, he could not even imagine spending so much just on rent!

"Mm." Yaan nodded. "I'm only staying for 11 months anyway."

Leon's expression suddenly changed.

"You, you don't mean that you're going to the inheritance, do you?" His eyes widened fearfully.

"I am." Yaan didn't deny it and nodded calmly.

"You can't!" Leon blurted out. "Ah…sorry, young master." He scratched his head, embarrassed by his outburst. He knew that it wasn't really his place to give a more powerful cultivator advice, but he couldn't help it.

"I know it's dangerous, but I naturally have my reasons for going and possess knowledge regarding the danger." Yaan smiled at Leon. For someone to worry so much about a stranger was extremely rare. Yaan himself certainly wasn't such a kind hearted person.

Throughout Leon's life, which had been confined to the inside of North Ghu City, Leon was most terrified, and most apprehensive, of the nearby inheritance. At the last inheritance opening, he watched as a horde of cultivators threw themselves in, yet barely 10% of them returned. His own mother was included in those tragic losses.

And soon, that tragedy was about to repeat itself. Despite knowing the dangers, cultivators flocked to this death trap only to willingly throw themselves in…Leon didn't understand it, he couldn't understand it, and he couldn't bear to watch Yaan throw his life away.

However, when he was about to continue attempting his persuasion, Leon stopped. He looked Yaan in the eyes and saw something for the briefest of moments.

Yaan wasn't like the others, filled with greed and disregarding all else. He wasn't disdaining this inheritance, deciding that the dangers must be exaggerated.

His gaze was were firm. He was going to enter the inheritance, and nothing could possibly change his mind. In the end, Leon sighed and shook his head, dropping this matter reluctantly as he realised that Yaan's mind would not be changed.

After helping Yaan to find the best deals on a variety of resources, Yaan treated Leon to tea at a high-end tea-store.

"Leon, you've lived in this city your whole life, right?" Yaan suddenly asked as he took a sip from his cup of medicinal tea.

Leon blinked in surprise, then quickly nodded.

"Right this is my home. I was born here, it's a cultivation paradise, so-"

"You should try exploring the world one day. Or at least, explore some of the places nearby the city."

"I…I would, but…I…"

"Why do you cultivate?" Yaan suddenly asked, seemingly from nowhere.

Leon blinked in surprise at this strange question, but he thought it over carefully. In the end, he just shrugged and explained:

"To strive for a better life. The strong live at the top, they have power, so they are able to do what they want, own what they want, say what they want, live how they want…whilst the weak are trampled by the strong, like ants beneath their boots. They don't even consider us before taking a step. I just…want a better life."

Yaan looked thoughtful for a few minutes after this, whilst Leon also fell silent, pondering his own answer.

"I think that's not a bad reason at all. To strive for a better life…such a thing can't really be refuted, who doesn't want a better life?" Yaan finally spoke.

"Then young master…why do you cultivate?" Leon asked curiously.

"Hmm…" Yaan had of course been expecting him to return the question, but even after thinking it over, his answer wasn't as clearcut as Leon's.

"At first, I cultivated to gain enough strength to obtain revenge. But that person died miserably in something completely unrelated to me. He died before I became strong enough, he died without me seeing his fall, without even leaving behind a corpse."

Leon listened silently and looked at Yaan deeply.

"After that, my life was in danger for some time…so I cultivated to survive. I needed to become stronger in order to survive, so I just focussed on that. Eventually, as I continued to survive, I ended up here."

Leon's eyes widened in shock.

'To think he had been through so much before coming to the city! I had no idea, at the time, I just thought he was some rich young master!'

"And now…I cultivate because I cultivate. Every trouble in my life could have been avoided if only I was strong enough to handle it. Every failure in my life was a result of my own weakness. So, perhaps I cultivate to become stronger than anything this world can throw at me. To become strong enough that I can control my own fate. To become strong enough that I finally understand this life…I cultivate, so that I can understand why it is that I feel this ceaseless need to cultivate…"

Yaan trailed off towards the end there. He felt like his answer was a bit of a ramble without any clear point, but Leon felt differently. Listening to Yaan speak, he realised the difference in their mindsets.

Whilst Leon cultivated to improve his life, Yaan's life itself was the journey of cultivation.

The two became silent again and Leon fell into deep thought. Unknowingly, their tea turned cold and a full hour passed by.

Finally, Yaan slowly stood up, drawing Leon's dazed gaze.

"Cultivators all pursue something, something they see as unattainable, yet they pursue it with all their heart anyway. The cultivation world is cold and cruel, death is commonplace and the fallen are rarely remembered. Cultivators are willing to risk their lives for a chance to achieve greatness, because that is a cultivator's path, the path they choose, the only path they care to follow."

When Yaan saw Leon's stunned expression, he couldn't help but chuckle. He thought back to the time he first arrived in the city.

Back then, he had felt guarded towards everything around him. After all, his experiences in the cultivation world were simply too harsh, and this was a new place that he was unfamiliar with.

Leon helped him significantly back then, guiding him in earnest around the city and even finding lower prices on the things that he needed in order to settle in here. After some thought, Yaan decided on a whim to repay that favour.

Yaan was not typically a generous person, but after spending the day with Leon and talking with him about things such as dao and a cultivator's path, his current mood was quite strange.

Yaan pulled out a small leather satchel from his inner pocket. He placed a few cheap things into the satchel, then casually threw it to Leon before he walked away without a word.

Leon remained silent. He stared after Yaan for a long time until he disappeared from view, before realising that he was holding a leather bag. When he opened the bag, his eyes went round and he hastily closed it.

The bag contained a variety of valuable items. This bag and its contents were easily worth twenty times more than what Leon had made throughout his life until this day. After he hurried home and carefully scrutinised each item, he understood Yaan's intention.

"This…these things cover all the basics that a cultivator needs, as well as enough resources for me to reach the Innate Qi Realm within five years at the very most!"

Yaan didn't know if giving those trinkets to Leon would bring him calamity or fortune. It was all dependent on Leon himself, and what he decided to do from here on.

When he was talking to the guide boy just now, Yaan realised that Leon was living halfway between the world of mortals and the world of cultivators.

Mortals lived, then died, trying to enjoy the brief time in between. They lived with the knowledge and acceptance that they would one day die; that was the nature of a mortal's life.

Cultivators lived with a clearcut purpose; to walk further along the path of cultivation. Strength, longevity, truth…they lived a life that brought them enlightenment, distancing themselves from the blissful ignorance and simplicity of mortals.

Although North Ghu City was a city of cultivators, there were also mortals here, people who were born into the city, people who would live and die here without ever seeing the outside world.

Leon was one such person.

He stepped onto the path of cultivation because he couldn't stand being stuck at the bottom of society, an ant below the feet of the strong. However, he was like a mortal in that he just wanted to live a simple, peaceful life. He even worked such a safe, low paying and ordinary job, whilst treating cultivation as an afterthought.

He was like a mortal who practised with an old sword in his free time; the mortal knew how to swing the sword, but he couldn't be considered a true warrior.

Yaan saw that Leon was confused by the actions taken by cultivators, despite being one himself. He had the power of a weak cultivator, and the heart of an ordinary mortal. It was impossible to live in both worlds forever, eventually, you would find yourself being dragged to one side or the other.

Yaan decided to gift him with those cultivation resources on a whim. Those things weren't worth anything to Yaan at this point anyway. Perhaps it was payment for his exemplary services. Perhaps this was his way of thanking Leon for entertaining his strange mood and topic of conversation. Or perhaps, there was no meaning behind it at all.

If he so desired, Leon could make use of those few resources to properly step into the world of cultivation. Or, he could sell it all for gold and silver, he could leave this city and settle down in a mortal village or kingdom nearby, with enough riches to live out his life comfortably. If he wanted, he could even start his own family clan, passing down those riches for generations to come.

The choice was his own, and Yaan didn't care which way he went. It was Leon's choice to make, it was his life to live.

"If I could undo all of this and return to a plain mortal life…would I?" Yaan muttered to himself, staring up into the sky and watching as the clouds drifted by slowly.

As he walked down the streets, despite being surrounded by people, despite having just spent the entire day with another person, Yaan felt that this world was far too empty. He felt that this world…was far too lonely.

In the end, he was unable to answer his own question. He would of course love to rewind history, to prevent the massacre of his family, but…

Even if they hadn't died that day, their village was wiped out by a beast tide not long after. If Elder Sun had never arrived at their village, his parents and sister would have lived for a while longer…but then, he and Elia would have also died to the beast tide along with everyone else.

Yaan shook his head and sighed. Thinking about such 'what ifs' was meaningless. The past was the past, it could not be changed, he could only live in the present and direct a path for his future.

Yaan knew that he no longer had to option of turning back and living an ordinary, mortal life.