Chapter 41

"Not ever", confirmed Nancy.

"Never", repeated Jonathan.

"Good", breathed Nancy.

She squeezed Jonathan's shoulder lightly before letting go. She started walking past him to go up the stairs. Before she turned around completely to face him, she threw him one last glance and said gently:

"Thanks for calling, Jonathan. Don't forget our party Saturday night, OK?"

Jonathan gave her a brief nod in reply, his gaze fixed upon the stairs. He heard Nancy's footsteps echoing down the stairs until she vanished upstairs. Then, without wasting a second, he rushed towards the living room and flung himself down onto the couch. With his elbows propped against his knees and hands clasped tightly beneath his chin, Jonathan looked at the ceiling above him and heaved a sigh. He felt so frustrated and angry that he couldn't understand how he managed to deal with these emotions. He was usually pretty calm; however, the sight of Nancy kissing Will had made him lose his self control. All he wanted to do was pull Nancy into his embrace and hold her closely, telling her that everything was going to be all right. Now he had to remind himself that he didn't deserve to hold her like that. And he definitely didn't deserve her trust in the matter. Forcing a sad smile on his face, he lowered his gaze and gazed around the room. After a minute, a sudden realization struck him, causing him to spring off the couch so fast that he tripped and fell flat on his face onto the hardwood floor. He sat there for a short moment, his head spinning. Finally, his vision recovered, and when he was finally able to stand up, he picked himself up off the floor and started heading towards the stairs. However, instead of climbing them, he stopped in front of the stairwell door and leaned against the wall. It was quiet for a long time. Noticing the silence that had engulfed the hallway, he turned around and glanced down the stairs one last time. At that point, his heart sank in his chest. Seeing no sign of Nancy anywhere, he headed back inside the house, hoping that she wasn't asleep or in a meeting. As soon as he entered the kitchen area, he spotted her sitting in one of the chairs, leaning forward with her hands clasping between her legs. He cleared his throat loudly to alert her of his presence. She jumped slightly, her body tensing up. Then, slowly she looked up, surprised to see Jonathan standing by the entrance, his arms folded across his chest.

"Hey", she said softly.

"Hello", responded Jonathan, giving her a small smile.

He walked towards her and slid onto the seat next to hers, pulling his feet onto the seat. Nancy didn't say anything, so Jonathan decided to break the silence.

"I'm sorry about earlier", he apologised, looking directly at her.

"You don't need to be", reassured Nancy.

She reached out and took hold of Jonathan's hand, squeezing it tightly. Jonathan reciprocated the action by holding her hand tighter. Their hands remained entwined for a moment. Nancy was the first to drop her gaze and start playing with their interlocked fingers. After a few moments, Jonathan spoke up again.

"Look", he began hesitantly, "if I had known that people were gonna talk, I would never have talked to Mike about...that".

He gestured vaguely towards the kitchen. Nancy looked down and sighed. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak just yet.

The rest of the morning passed uneventfully. Will and Nancy spent the time discussing Jonathan' situation. Eventually the topic came to an end when Jonathan interrupted them by asking them if they needed help with dinner. Both Nancy and Will shook their heads no and told him to join them later. Jonathan didn't complain though, since they were doing most of the cooking anyway. Once Nancy had prepared lunch for everyone, she left the kitchen shortly after. Jonathan and Will decided to sit outside for a little while and catch up with each other. They found themselves on the bench near the porch. Will smiled widely when he saw how much brighter it was than when Nancy left.

"Wow, it looks almost like daytime out here", he remarked enthusiastically.

"Yeah", agreed Jonathan.

They sat quietly for a short while. The sun shone brightly, lighting up the sky. The warm breeze swept through their hair and ruffled it slightly. There was a slight tension hanging over the boys. The moment Nancy and Will disappeared inside the house, Jonathan lost any remaining traces of his anger. Instead, he felt guilty, ashamed and upset. Nancy and Will did nothing wrong. Neither one of them intended to hide anything from Jonathan. In fact, they weren't aware of how dangerous it was for Jonathan. He shouldn't have to bear all those things alone, especially when they were trying to shield him from danger. It broke Jonathan's heart, making him feel helpless. Even though they tried to reassure him that it was only temporary, that they would always protect him no matter what (even if that meant keeping him out of the loop), he couldn't ignore the nagging feeling that somehow, someday, the worst thing would happen to him. But there was no way to prepare for it now. All he could do was fight back, try to get stronger, and keep fighting. Because, deep down, he knew that they would always be there for him, waiting for him to recover, ready to support him whenever he got hurt.

"So", said Jonathan casually, breaking the uncomfortable silence that hung between them after a few minutes.

"So", echoed Will, also breaking the silence.

"I guess your parents are probably worried sick", added Jonathan awkwardly.

Will hesitated briefly before answering:

"Oh, they...they're fine", he stated, looking down at his feet.

He felt bad for lying to Jonathan, but it was necessary, he figured. If anyone knew about their secret relationship, they would definitely tell Nancy and Jonathan and Jonathan would freak out. Plus, Will

didn't really want to worry his parents either. Although he was relieved when they both accepted his explanation, it certainly hadn't eased his worries a single bit.

"Do you think they will tell my parents?", he inquired uncertainly.

"Oh man, I hope so", exclaimed Jonathan. "It wouldn't be fair, you know", he continued thoughtfully. "After everything that happened, and the way they acted, I really don't blame them at all."

"I know", sighed Will. "We've been friends for so long, and I don't know where I'd be without them. I don't think I'd have survived without them".

"I don't blame them too", said Jonathan with a hint of bitterness in his voice.

"Why?", asked Will, looking up at his friend questioningly.

"Because they are selfish", answered Jonathan.

A bitter chuckle escaped his lips.

"I mean, look where that led me", he said as he gestured towards the backyard where the police car lay smashed against the fence. "Everything I've done, every step I've taken – none of it's good enough to make up for the damage I caused in this town."

Jonathan took in a sharp breath as he spoke, trying his hardest not to start crying.

"My dad...he thinks I'm dead. My mom...she thinks I am dead. Everyone is afraid of me because of it", he went on in a whisper. "No one trusts me anymore because I lied to them..."

"Don't say that," murmured Will, shaking his head in denial.

He stared down at the ground, then lifted his eyes upwards again and locked gazes with Jonathan.

"If we were still kids", he said earnestly, "I promise you we would never leave you."

For a brief moment, Jonathan could see the concern, the affection in Will's eyes. But just as quickly, it faded away and became replaced by that same cold, merciless expression he had noticed all day. Jonathan felt his stomach sinking, even though he still knew that it was only an illusion. It wasn't real, he assured himself. Still, he could not help but feel a little disappointed by how quickly Will had gone back to pretending. After spending hours together, it felt strange and unnatural to see Will acting like such a stranger. And it bothered Jonathan so much. Why did Will have to treat him like some kind of enemy? He didn't belong to him, so why did he have to put up this act like that?! Suddenly, he stood up from the bench and turned round. Without looking back at Will again, he headed towards the staircase, wanting to go upstairs and get out of this awkward situation. As soon as he was inside the basement, however, he ran straight into Nancy who had returned home already.

"Jonathan?", she questioned with concern. "What happened? Where have you been?"

"Uh..", stammered Jonathan.

"Jonathan, please tell me", insisted Nancy.