Chapter 8: Lost in the Wilderness (and Slightly Hangry)

"Alright, Mount Fujikasane, here I come!" I declared, brimming with confidence as I stepped out of the woods and onto a dirt path. In my mind, I was already envisioning a montage of me gracefully leaping over obstacles, effortlessly navigating the terrain, and arriving at my destination in record time.

Yeah, that's not how it went.

Turns out, those fanfic protagonists who effortlessly stumble upon quaint villages and helpful old ladies with directions? They're either lying or they have some serious plot armor.

In reality, navigating the wilderness in Taisho-era Japan was a pain in the ass. The paths were barely trails, the maps were nonexistent, and my sense of direction was about as reliable as a Zoro's sense of direction

"Seriously, Akio 1.0, couldn't you have left me a GPS or something?" I grumbled, swatting away a particularly persistent mosquito. "Or at least a decent pair of hiking boots?"

My "Walmart Byakugan" was helpful for spotting hidden dangers and avoiding surprise demon attacks (thankfully, none so far), but it wasn't exactly a Google Maps replacement.

I spent days wandering through the dense forest, my stomach growling in protest. The dried fish and mystery grains were long gone, and my attempts at foraging were... less than successful.

"Who knew there were so many poisonous berries in this world?" I lamented, clutching my stomach after a particularly unfortunate sampling. "Note to self: don't eat anything unless you're absolutely sure it won't turn you into a Smurf."

My main source of sustenance became wild fruits, which I plucked from trees and bushes with varying degrees of success. Let's just say my kendo skills didn't translate well to fruit-picking. I ended up with more bruises than berries most of the time.

"Seriously, Universe, are you trying to tell me something?" I whined, nursing a particularly nasty scrape on my arm. "Is this some kind of karmic punishment for all those times I skipped gym class?"

But despite the setbacks and the hunger pangs, I pressed on. I reminded myself of my goal, of the demons that needed slaying, of the innocent lives that needed protecting.

And finally, after what felt like an eternity, I stumbled out of the woods and into a clearing. In the distance, I could see the faint outline of a village, smoke curling lazily from its chimneys.

"Civilization!" I exclaimed, a wave of relief washing over me. "Food! Shelter! Maybe even a hot bath!"

I practically sprinted towards the village, my exhaustion forgotten in the face of potential sustenance and human interaction.

As I approached, I couldn't help but chuckle at the irony of it all. The village was small, quaint, and utterly peaceful. It was the kind of place you'd see in a Studio Ghibli movie, not a demon-slaying anime.

But hey, I wasn't complaining. Any place with a warm bed and a bowl of rice was a paradise in my book.

As I stepped into the village, it was like entering a different world. Gone were the dense forests and the eerie silence. In their place were quaint wooden houses, bustling streets, and the cheerful chatter of villagers going about their daily lives.

I wandered through the narrow lanes, taking in the sights and sounds. Farmers tended to their rice paddies, children chased each other through the fields, and old women gossiped on their porches. It was a scene straight out of a heartwarming anime, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of peace wash over me.

But then my stomach growled, reminding me of the harsh reality of my situation. I was starving. All those wild berries and questionable mushrooms had done little to satisfy my hunger.

"Alright, Akio, time to find some real food," I muttered to myself, scanning the streets for any sign of a restaurant or food stall.

And then, like a beacon of hope, I spotted it. A small ramen shop, its warm glow spilling onto the cobblestone street. The tantalizing aroma of broth and noodles wafted through the air, and my mouth started watering uncontrollably.

"Ramen!" I practically squealed, rushing towards the shop. "Oh, sweet, savory heaven, here I come!"

I slid onto a stool at the counter, my eyes scanning the menu with ravenous intensity. "Shoyu ramen, please!" I blurted out,

The ramen vendor, a kind-looking old woman with a warm smile, nodded and set about preparing my order. Minutes later, a steaming bowl of ramen was placed before me, its fragrant broth beckoning me closer.

I dug in with gusto, slurping the noodles, savoring the rich broth, and practically moaning with delight. It was the best thing I had ever tasted. Move over, Michelin-starred chefs, Akio's got a new favorite dish.

After devouring the last noodle, I leaned back with a contented sigh. "That was heavenly, Obaasan," I said, patting my full belly. "Thank you!"

The old woman chuckled. "You're welcome, young man. Now, that'll be 50 sen, please."

My smile froze. Uh oh.

I frantically patted my pockets, my heart sinking with each empty search. "Um, about that..." I stammered, a nervous laugh escaping my lips. "Funny story, actually..."

The old woman's smile faded, replaced by a look that could only be described as a mix of disappointment, amusement, and a hint of "you've got to be kidding me."

Long story short, I ended up spending the rest of the day washing dishes, scrubbing floors, and generally making myself useful around the ramen shop. Apparently, my charming smile and witty banter weren't enough to pay off my debt.

Stupid anime protagonists, I grumbled internally, scrubbing a particularly stubborn stain off a bowl. They always seem to have money magically appear out of nowhere. Where's my plot convenience when I need it?

But as I worked, I couldn't help but appreciate the simple act of labor. It was honest work, and it felt good to contribute, even if it was just to pay off a ramen debt. Plus, the old woman, despite her initial disappointment, had a kind heart. She even let me have another bowl of ramen (after I'd scrubbed every pot and pan in the shop, of course).

As the day drew to a close, I sat on the porch of the ramen shop, watching the sunset paint the sky in hues of orange and purple. I was tired, my muscles ached, and my hands were pruned from all the dishwashing. But I was also content.

I had a full belly, a roof over my head (albeit temporarily), and a renewed sense of purpose. I was one step closer to Mount Fujikasane, one step closer to fulfilling my destiny as a demon slayer.

And hey, maybe I even learned a valuable lesson about the importance of carrying cash.

(To be continued)

Akio slams his fist on the table, sending chopsticks flying. "Over9000words, you've got to be kidding me! Days of wandering in the wilderness, living on berries and tree bark, and then I finally find civilization only to end up washing dishes for an entire day?! And all because you couldn't be bothered to give me a few spare coins?!"

Over9000words adopts a pose of mock innocence. "But Akio, you asked for a bit more 'heart' in the last chapter. And since I'm feeling particularly generous today, I gave you a heartwarming encounter with a kind old lady who fed you delicious ramen and taught you the value of hard work. See? Two birds, one stone!"

Akio's eye twitches uncontrollably. "Heartwarming?! More like a heart attack! I nearly passed out from exhaustion, and my hands still smell like dishwater!"

AI-sensei clears their throat, a hint of amusement in their voice. "While I sympathize with Akio's predicament, I must admit, Over9000words' methods are... unconventional, to say the least."

Akio throws his hands up in defeat. "Forget it. I'm done. I'm going to go find a real job, one that doesn't involve scrubbing toilets or dodging flying chopsticks. And maybe, just maybe, I'll find a way to pay you back for this, Over9000words."

Akio storms off, muttering curses under his breath.

Over9000words watches him go, a sly grin spreading across their face. "Hey, at least I gave him a Nichirin blade, right? That's gotta count for something..."

End of Chapter 8 (Abruptly)