The Return of Quis (1)

My eyes slowly opened as I stared at the wooden ceiling hanging over me. I got up from the floor I had slept on last night and walked over to the corner where my and Vernam's clothes were stored. I took off the baggy grey pants that I'd been wearing for most of my time the past three months. Once that came off I reached down and picked up an old robe of mine. It was the same white robe I had when I first woke up in this world, the one that stayed with me all throughout my school life, the one most connected to Quis. I donned the robe, one sleeve at a time, and tied the separate red sash around the robe to keep it taut.

'I spent almost the entirety of yesterday delegating roles, answering questions, playing babysitter every now and then, and getting everyone on the same page. It felt great to hold the cards in my hand once again; it reminded me of my time as a shogun to the emperor himself. Ordering people to do things while also having to advise the emperor in the slightest of ways as to avoid getting my head chopped off, their pride is a delicate matter after all. But of course, I also did that while conspiring against him to try and get the position of the emperor for myself, but alas, the country was ravaged by the Demon King before I was able to do that.'

I walked outside of the house, breathed in the fresh air that comes after a storm has passed, and walked uninterrupted by drops of rain. The sun was out for the first time in months and was showing off its golden radiance in full. Once I walked enough, I found myself near a river. This river wasn't the one I originally assigned Vernam to cultivate at, but the other of the two found on campus that was much more calmly flowing. I dipped my hair into the water and began to wash away the maroon dye.

'It's been a pain constantly having to keep check of my hair, but that isn't necessary any longer. It does remind me though, I have come a long ways since I first adopted this disguise. But there's no point in reminiscing. The only important thing about the past is mistakes, and learning from those mistakes. Other than that it's only a trap that the old and sad fall victim to. The only important thing now is that I look to the future and work on the present.'

I took my hair out of the river and the subsequent pullback splashed water over the surroundings and myself. My now pure white hair cascaded down my shoulders and went down to the top of my chest. I reached my hand into my robe and, once pulled back out, a knife appeared in my grip. I held out my hair with my left hand and began to cut it with my right. I repeated this for a while until I was shaven back down the short haircut I used to have. I did the same for the facial hair I'd been growing, which was more difficult, but once you've cut yourself enough doing it, you learn how to not cut yourself.

'My hair is back to normal. My skin tone has returned to a slightly tanned white. And the clothes I wear are now the same as well. I am officially back to being Quis, on the outside of course. It doesn't matter how much I change on the outside, on the inside I'll always be Ikusho because that's who I am. I may get stronger, I may change acts, and, due to a curse that was only growing, I may even grow emotions once again. But I know that no matter how much I change on the outside, or even on the inside, my mind will hold its ground. My will is impenetrable whether it be a power much stronger than my own or falsified emotions. This is who I am.'

I turned away from the river and walked through the surrounding strip of tall grass before once again entering the green shadows of the surrounding jungle. I walked through the jungle, sometimes having the punch through the thick flora, others just spent calmly walking through the thin areas, as uncommon as thoughs were. Eventually, I found myself bursting through the thicket of leaves and bushes, placing myself on an old, slightly muddy, dirt road. I turned around and walked forward. Once a couple of minutes were spent walking I raised my head facing the dome of wood surrounded by a fence not made to defend, but made to make you know you shouldn't enter without permission.

'I have done everything I could up to this point, and I've done everything right. I have spread my circle of influence and gained a cult-like following. It'll start simple, all of us united under one goal, but once I spread my poison among everyone, I'll become more than just another leader with my eye on the top position of the sect. I'll become their leader. I'll play to their fantasies of wanting just a simple ruler who knows the struggle of the people, but at the same time, I'll keep the distance between us with my incredible strength and planning ability. And in doing so it'll look as though I've gained such a power without any of the hard work that I've put into it, announcing myself as a legend to them. It's like that I'll gain the unbridled trust of the people and the absolute loyalty of my subjects. And it all starts with this.'

I walked forward with my head held high, facing the gates not with the vise of a student or a teacher, but as a spy planning to reap the fruit of other's labor.

'The midterms.'

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Capcis' POV:

Today was the day of the midterms. Although today may hold meaning to others, it didn't hold much meaning to me. I already know where I stand in comparison to others. I'm not too smart, so I'll probably score average during the written exams, and I don't even want to think about how badly I'll do on the practical exam. It's a shame that Igmor doesn't have any written exams for his class, otherwise, I would score high on at least one subject, but I guess that's why he did homework instead.

Speaking of which, during the last class he gave, he mentioned how it would be his last. It made me upset because I did like seeing him, despite how cruel his lessons were, but it also made me relieved at the same time. This way I wouldn't have a chance to make the same mistake I have made twice already.

The entire incident had already faded out of the minds of most. Pulchra was already out of their minds, and Quis was more of a legend than an actual dead person. It made me upset to see this happen, especially because Quis' body was never found. That meant he was going to be forever missing and because he didn't have anyone close enough to him, no one would spend the money to hold a funeral fast enough. The situation has also faded from my mind somewhat, time heals all wounds as they say. But the effect it's had on me is never going to leave.

I can already tell that I'm not the same as I used to be. I used to be awkward to everyone who approached me and in every interaction I've had, but now that's not the case. Instead of being unsociable, I've chosen the path of being a loner. The two are very different. I've spent so much of my time shutting people down without an inch of empathy that the boldness has been imprinted into me. I'm sure that if I actually tried, I could probably talk to people as well, if not better as anyone else can. But I don't, because I've already chosen my path.

I've also observed that my empathy and sympathy for others has been almost completely lost. Maybe being cold all the time has disconnected me from the people around me, making them seem like less than people. It wasn't something I was against though. Being disconnected was exactly what I was aiming for, but I just thought it would come out of my will, not my natural self. I thought I would spend my entire life resisting the urge to get to know others and make friends, but I guess it only makes sense. If you can cultivate your strength, why can't you also cultivate your outlook on the world? My constant resistance has had a passive effect on my temperament and my being.

The only outlier to this effect, strangely enough, has been Igmor. I'm not sure why, but he awoke the urge within me. I was able to resist, but still, it was very strange. He treated others cruelly, and the lessons he taught could only be seen as morally wrong, yet I can only think of him in a positive light. Perhaps it was only a last-ditch effort of my previous self to come back, but I now know how impossible that is.

I'll live my life as a normal person. I'll contribute my share, but never more than that. I'll eat food, drink water, clean myself, exercise, and much more, but I'll never put more work into it than I need to. I just want to live peacefully, fulfill my dues, and then die alone, without hurting anyone and without being hurt myself. That was all I wanted. I don't care if it's seen as cowardly. I don't care if others see me as a douche. They can think of me as they want. I'll only ever be myself, nothing more, nothing less.

I walked forward, following the tail end of the pack of students walking through the halls of the school. They spoke to each other, some boasting about how well they were going to do on the test and claim their spot as an inner disciple while others lamented at how bad they were going to do, just hoping they didn't fail too harshly. Of course, there was also discussion of who would take the number one spot of the midterms, or more specifically, the practical exam. Would Iusus or Spiravit rank higher? People were saying it would obviously be Spiravit because he was in Stone Class while Iusus wasn't, but others argued that since Iusus could beat people at Stone Class she had a fair chance.

It was all just a bunch of stupidity that I didn't partake in. I just continued to follow while wondering what the questions would look like today. That was until my nose hit the back of the student in front of me, "Excuse me? What are you doing?"

I said it in a rude tone, but despite the anger that should rouse in someone, I got so response. Wondering why he was frozen, I squeezed through the gaps in the door and popped out at the other side, putting me in the Cultivation Arts classroom. I saw everyone looking up at the stands where we would be sitting later and followed their eyes. Once I saw what everyone was gawking at, I too froze.

His white hair was shining beautifully as if it had just been cleaned by the gods themselves. His pure white robe sent a shiver of unacceptance down my spine. But his face, his face made me accept the truth. His nose was the perfect size, and his lips were not too big and not too small. His jawline wasn't as chiseled as say Spiravit's, but to me, it looked to be sculpted by angles. His eyebrows weren't scowled or anything of the sort, instead, they were raised slightly, matching the slight smile he had on his lips. And finally, my eyes rested on his. They were eyes belonging to the dark ocean, holding both the mystery hidden under the oblique water and the beauty found in its forever extending shores, the smell of the never-ending ocean, and the sound of the calm waves hitting the shore with a more tumultuous wave that would randomly show itself.

He opened his mouth, and out of it came the voice I thought I would never hear again, "It's been quite the time hasn't it? How have you all been?" His words were general, but he looked right at me as he said them...

I felt a tear roll down my face. First, it was one, and then it exploded into a river of silent tears that only made sound once they hit the floor. I walked forward just one step, before asking through the thicket of snot in my throat, "Q-Quis... Is that really you?"

He smiled much more widely than before before answering my question, "Yup, in the flesh."

Once he said these words to me, I could feel the world around me crumbling. The stability I had built up was falling apart more quickly than I ever thought possible. The walls I placed around myself to keep me from others were destroyed in only one attack, leaving me completely defenseless. I didn't have to ability to reasonably think. I could only slowly walk forward as my emotions entangled with each other more and more. The other students disappeared, leaving me with only him. As I walked forward, I could feel the grey and white that surrounded my life gain color with him at the precipice. I walked closer and closer until I was right next to him. The world suddenly turned grey once again, I regained my reason, the walls were rebuilt, and stability returned.

What was I doing? How could this be real? No. This must be a trick! It can't be real! Quis is dead! He's gone and he can't ever return!-

Suddenly he got up from his seat and wrapped his arms around me. A bomb went off in my mind, deleting any past, present, or future thoughts. The world around me exploded into vibrant colors, giving meaning to the breaths I took and the steps I walked. I was stunned completely and utterly, unable to make a move. He rubbed my back and said to me, "I can tell it's been difficult for you Capcis, but please, let me take away all of the suffering you have. I am here, and I will save you."

With these words, I went limp and my head fell onto his shoulders. I didn't focus on anything else besides the feeling as he rubbed my back, and his body heat warming up my already hot forehead. I wanted only to be with him, my head on his shoulder, and him releasing me from all of my worldly burdens.

I wanted this moment to last forever.