Honesty of Dishonesty

Hasrem walked to our table and stood in between the two chairs, placing herself in between us. I decided it best not to say anything. I haven't seen Hasrem in a long time, and although unlikely, there was a chance her character may have changed; if that were true I would have to change the way I behaved around her.

She turned to me and spoke sourly, "It's been two months since we've met, and you didn't invite me to drink or anything? I thought we were closer than that... but it seems like you and Beulus are still going at it."

Beulus' eyebrow shook as he responded, "Hey Hasrem. How come you are here? And how come you entered the conversation at such a perfect time? Please don't tell me you're changing from a voyeur to a stalker."

Hasrem turned to Beulus and matched his condescending tone, "Now come on Beulus. I just entered the bar like normal and found you two talking to each other so I decided to join you guys. It's all coincidence, nothing more."

Beulus stood up from his seat and inched closer to Hasrem as he continued the passive aggression, "Oh yeah? It's just this all seems a bit strange considering what happened this afternoon... right Hasrem?"

Hasrem continued with her lips churning into an instigative smile, "Haha, come on Beulus, I would never. Could you be accusing me of such things for interrupting your little pow-wow with Igmor? Disrupting your bromance? I thought we were past the age of misogyny; the Wood Sovereign has been dead for thousands of years..."

Beulus returned her "sweet" smile and got closer to Hasrem as he fought back her claim, "Oh Hasrem, It's not misogynistic to be worried about my friend having a stalker, is it? If women were allowed to do whatever they wanted to men wouldn't that be misandry? I didn't think we were in the Island Region..."

Hasrem was about to return his comment, continuing this useless cold war, but I stepped in, "Alright, that's enough out of both of you. I'm not here to listen to you two bickering. I honestly don't care if Hasrem followed you to me; I'm sure she already knows who I am. Let's take this outside, where there aren't so many people watching." I had already confirmed that Hasrem was the same as before, so I didn't hold any concerns with speaking to her.

Beulus and Hasrem stopped talking and looked around them. After noticing the entire bar was staring at them, embarrassment took over and they silently agreed to my request by taking themselves outside. I grabbed the binder before following them closely, and once we walked to the line separating the bar's nicely trimmed land from the wild jungle, I reinitiated the conversation.

"So, Hasrem, how much did you hear?"

She turned to the binder in my hand and then returned her eyes to my face before admitting, "Well, to be completely honest, I found Beulus skulking around Convir's office looking for those papers in that binder. He was kind of useless, so I decided to help him. He was being unusually cold the entire time, so I decided to follow him after school hours and then found you two at the bar. And well, to answer your question, I heard everything."

I made sure to sheath my bloodlust so as to not scare her off, but I still kept myself on guard. I know she has been acting all buddy-buddy with me since the start of the school year, but she was still under Convir's rule. It was unwise to trust anyone based on the personality you think they have. You can only trust in things that are stable, like fear and order; otherwise, it's too risky. There have been many people in the history of both of my worlds who trusted a "friend" only to be backstabbed later, myself included. I would not reenact that mistake.

With me ready to activate the recent batch of Crossbow Bolt Fruits I grew inside of my fully operational Archery Range, I let Hasrem continue her story, "I was very surprised when I found Beulus doing something, well, illegal. But now that I know he was doing it for your sake Quis, it makes sense. You were able to steal Beulus' subservience from Convir. Whether it was purposeful or accidental doesn't matter, because it was still you who did it..."

Her sentence trailed off as she sat down in the grass with her ankles under her butt, and gestured me to do the same. I still made sure to silently keep my guard up, double-checking that there were no fluctuations from my aura while sitting down in front of her in a similar manner.

She grabbed my hands with hers and said to me, "Hey Quis, do you remember when I told you that I believed in you? It was a long time ago, but it is still a predominant memory of mine. It's not like I harbor any feelings for you, that would be too cruel considering your past. But I do remember that feeling you gave during then. You seemed to be genuinely happy that someone was there for you, and it made me feel good as well... But then that feeling was zapped away. Replaced by what I could only think of as a bottomless pit of emptiness. It was you who harbored that pit."

She rubbed the back of my hand with her fingers as she looked down at her lap and shook a little, "I felt so... so bad for you. I thought, what could such a young boy have experienced for him to have such an aura? I was only saved by the thought that it was only exposed for a moment. I thought that your amnesia would keep you safe from whatever that horrid past was. I was brought to peace by the idea that I could make your life more fun, more happy, more meaningful..."

She shook further, as her voice became more choppy and emotionful, "But then Pulchra died. I thought about the repercussions. If you were already struggling with being happy then what would happen to you when Pulchra died? I was too scared to even face you. Heh, at least Beulus had the ability to face you, twisted as his purpose might have been. I was just cowardly. So... so cowardly."

The jungle leaf-sown shorts she was wearing suddenly began to grow dark green circles as a liquid dropped onto them, "And now with what happened with Capcis... I feel like whenever I try to help, I just make things worse."

Beulus kneeled down next to her and grabbed her shoulder, "Hasrem... I, I had no idea you were carrying such a burden... If you ever have something more to say, you can always talk to me alright? I'll always be here to listen."

I hadn't lowered my guard in least as she talked just in case, but that didn't mean I wasn't focusing on her words, Beulus' as well. He really had changed. I bet that if it were before we had that argument, he would have tried telling her what she should do to fix the problem, a rookie mistake in comforting. Except for a few outliers, almost everyone only wanted to be listened to when they poured their emotions out. Most people only want to be heard.

Beulus should have only touched Hasrem to show he was listening, and not say a word, but at least what he said wasn't too bad. I held Hasrem's hand tighter and in response she looked up at me with shock in her eyes. As I said, most of the time it was better to just listen, but when you are the root of a problem, you should take the step to talk. And plus, I would be stupid to waste such a perfect opportunity. Emotional instability was a great time to manipulate people.

"Hasrem. I'm dishonest. I'm manipulative. I'm what you could easily call a crook. Just yesterday I purposefully made a group of people uncomfortable with their lives just so I could push my own selfish narrative. I'm an evil person. I won't feign pity for your sadness, nor will I attempt to falsely comfort you. But I will say what is true. I felt happy when I was with you before. I felt happy when you, Beulus, Pulchra, and I went out drinking; only talking to talk. But then there was a change. Pulchra died. This showed me that no matter what world you're in, no matter where you find yourself, there is only one constant in life. Change."

Hasrem looked at me. Tears were still falling down her cheek, even harder now than ever. She let go of my hand and crawled closer to me. She then put her arms around me and embraced me. My green robe sucked in her tears, creating a puddle of dark green below her head that rested on my shoulder. For a while, there was only silence. The wind was gone. there was no sniffling. Only tears.

She kept her head on my shoulder and her arms around my body as she mumbled to me, "Quis. I know that you are dishonest. I know that you are manipulative. I can even accept that what you said was only to make me like you more. More indebted to you. But that's alright. Because that's why I like you so much. Convir has done tactics similar to yours. He thought I didn't know, but I knew. It was his arrogance, his thought that he was untouchable that made me dislike him."

She turned her head around the face of my neck, "But you are different. You know that what you are doing is wrong. You know that what you are doing hurts others. And you accept that burden wholeheartedly. It's that difference that makes you so understandable. It's that difference that allows you to say who you are, and still have me so obsessed with you."

She turned her neck a final time, looking at my eyes this time, and earnestly smiled, "So go ahead. Use me. Control me. I would like nothing more than to make someone as horrible as you stronger. I don't have a goal to change you for the better, because that would ruin your novelty. I will, solely, be your pawn."

There was a great quote from a Mountain Region philosopher that I read in one of the many books that stood out to me. "When you are

about to take, you should give." This was a quote on the topic of using honesty to disarm your enemies. For example, in the very same Mountain Region, the Clan Leader of the Chéng Clan did something genius while the Region was in a state of war. He married his daughter off to the Hu Clan, solidifying a trust of some kind. Not only did he do this, but he also adamantly refused to attack the Hu Clan despite his war council requesting him to. This lured the Hu Clan into thinking that the Chéng Clan would never attack them, relinquishing defenses on that side. A few months later, the Hu Clan had been taken over by the Chéng Clan because of their Clan Leader's ability to use kindness and honesty to disarm his enemy.

I was doing the same, on a lower scale yes, but it was still the same principle. When I first met Hasrem, I was as honest as could be, solidifying that image of me in her mind. Then for a while, I went in a completely other direction, using manipulation and dishonesty that she perceived as such. This created a conflict of who I was in her mind, making her malleable. Then one final attack of honesty and truth made her think of me as both a manipulative person and someone who was honest all at once. This way she would feel comfortable taking orders from me, and if I was cruel it would also be within her comfort zone. Of course, I still needed to seal the deal.

"Then follow me. Help me overthrow the faction Convir has grown. And then the sect itself. I will use you. And you will be helpful. Together, we can make this sect into an incredible power. Hell, we might even eventually take over the Jungle Lotus Sect. That will be far out from now, but it all starts here. With your declaration of allegiance to me and my cause."

Now I was being dishonest and manipulative again. Honesty was great and worked wonders at the right times, but dishonesty worked just as well when needed. Showing you are just as corrupt as you were honest may seem counterintuitive, but something being in the wrong was what made you trustworthy and a leader. Who would put their trust in a leader who was only ever honest and kind? Someone who was sinful was much more trustworthy.

She detached her arms from me and stood back up before chuckling, "Pfft, I really do like you Quis. Alright then. Let me make it official."

She took a knee and said to me, like a noble from the Stone Kingdom, "I, Hasrem Attu, hereby and henceforth, declare my allegiance to Quis Quiliae. I swear to be loyal and stay by your side for the rest of eternity. Through both defeat and victory, I will remain your aid."

I stood up and reached out my hand for her to grab. Once she did, I pulled her up and responded to her declaration, "I, Quis Quiliae, humbly accept your allegiance. I, as the leader of this operation, will do my grandest to lead you to a better life."

We met each other's eyes, and although what he just might be seen as embarrassing to others, it was truly a contract of our compact trust in one another. Or, Hasrem's trust in me, and my trust in my ability to successfully exploit her.

As she had so adequately said before:

She is now my tool to use.