First time (15+)

Reminder: words written in italic are character's thoughts.

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Entering my room, I swiftly sank onto my bed, overcome by an overwhelming sense of fatigue. Gasping for breath, I tightly grasped my chest, the weight of the world pressing down on me.

Waves of nausea surged through me, threatening to spill into a chaotic symphony of discomfort.

Why is she like this? I'm literally her own blood but….

I found myself gazing at the void of the obsidian ceiling, my mind an echoing emptiness. Abruptly, the resonating words of my mother pierced the silence, sending an involuntary shiver down my spine.

The mere recollection of that particular place induced a palpable tremor of fear within me.

The confines of that place, the basement, harbor the echoes of a traumatic past that have, regrettably, eluded my conscious memory. These memories, once forgotten, now manifest as nightly and daily nightmares, an unrelenting specter haunting the recesses of my mind.

The tangible remnants of that distress, etched onto my body in the form of scars, stand as indisputable evidence of the profound trauma that unfolded within those shadowed walls. I better stop thinking about it….

I close my eyes, gulping on saliva trying to relax myself. I started counting numbers. They always help me in this situation.

1

2

3

…

…

67

68…

I released a slow exhale, allowing the tension to dissipate as a sense of relaxation enveloped me. Reclining comfortably on the bed, I began to sense a subtle discomfort, a gentle itch induced by the fabric of my clothes.

In response, I decided to alleviate this sensation by removing my shirt, settling back into repose. Amidst this newfound ease, a myriad of contemplations coursed through my mind, weaving a tapestry of thoughts that demanded my attention. Just how the fuck she expect to seduce him….that omega…what was his name? ….Jihoon, was it?

A sigh escaped me as recollections of the blond individual's actions flooded my thoughts. Determined to put those memories aside, I uttered a mental dismissal—Forget it. With a deliberate gesture, I closed my eyes, attempting to find solace. Inhaling deeply, I sought to dispel the weariness that clung to me after a taxing day.

Yet, in the pursuit of mental relaxation, the face of the blond figure intruded upon my consciousness, each of his movements replaying vividly in my mind. Swiftly, I reopened my eyes, shaken from my attempt to escape into tranquility. I gulped as I become aware of my condition.

There was a huge bulge in my pants. I got hard just by thinking about an omega. The fuck….. I find myself in a state of profound mental disarray, an experience hitherto unfamiliar to me. This occurrence is unprecedented, marking the first instance where the stability of my mind has been so noticeably compromised. There were little wet stains on my pants.

Fucking hell…

I got up making my way to the restroom. I have to take a cold shower. Taking off my rest of the clothes remaining, I starting taking a cold shower. I didn't not care if I was freezing or not, I just want this erection to disappear but it seems that my body was not listening to me.

I don't know what to do. Why it's not going away?…. I guess there's only one option now. I have to take of it myself but I had masturbated before. Suddenly, I'm embarrassed by the fact I'm a fucking virgin… But its not my fault.

I grabbed my dick with trembling hands. I was feeling like I was doing some kind of sin. I started to rub it gently. It made me flinched, as I was hit by the feeling that was completely unfamiliar to me. I was doing it slowly.

I stopped, I can't do this. I am so embarrassed that I just want to bury myself deep underground. But my dick was so hard, it's was becoming painful. There was precum leaking from my dick. I was soaking wet. Fuck it… it's not like he is going to know….

I grabbed my dick once again started to rub it. This time a little hardly. I just want it to go away. I gritted my teeth as I was hit by pleasure. Ah~

Slight moans leaving as I stroke my dick hardly. I kept on rubbing it but nothing was happening, I picked my pace but still nothing. I shut my eyes thinking about that omega. I think about how he would look when he was shirtless. I definitely sure he has some muscles on him. I thought about how would he look when he will be blushing. That sight must be so seductive. How he would bit on his lips. How good will he look when he will be under me, trembling as I thrust deep inside of him. How he would clenched around me, moaning my name. His tearful face as he scratched on my back as I gave him intense pleasure.

"Ah ah….. Jihoon" I moaned his name. I was reaching to my limit. I stroke my dick quickly and hardly. Pleasure was so intense that it was making me loose my body control. I gripped on shower head for support as I was almost reaching to my climax. "ah ah...."

I gritted my teeth due to the intense pleasure. My head rolled back as I climaxed. trying to catch my breath as I stared blankly at my hand which now covered with white sticky substance. I kept staring as I gulped on my saliva. Just what in hell.... I just did. 

In a sudden rush of self-awareness, the weight of my actions hit me like a ton of bricks. Frantically, I scrubbed my hands, the harsh friction attempting to erase the stains of my recent actions. Once my hands were finally cleansed, I found myself transfixed by the sight of them, my eyes scrutinizing every inch. Embarrassment painted my cheeks a shade of crimson, a silent testament to the remorse swirling within me. 

I don't know what to do at this point. I turned around to see the mess I had just created in the bathroom. I sighed ashamed of my every action. I decided to clean myself and the washroom first. 

Having meticulously rid myself of any traces of regrettable deeds, I proceeded to dry off and adorned myself in cozy pajamas, opting to forgo a top. Stepping out of the washroom, I found my gaze drawn to the reflection in the mirror, a moment of introspection washing over me as I contemplated the various decisions that have shaped my life.

Shaking my head in denial denying the fact i just jerk off to someone. Seated on the bed, the weight of regret settled heavily upon me. Frustration and remorse intertwining, I clutched my head with a harsh grip, the intensity of my internal turmoil manifesting in silent, visceral screams. I'm a piece of trash....a disgusting jerk....

To be continued...…