Chapter 39: Confessions?
"Ya know, what I'm thinking is that there's a weird little connection between the two. Maybe an agreement between the two, hmm? Maybe they both wanted the guy dead, and make Aslan King?"
"Uhm, actually, I am not sure if I can agree with that. If I am recalling correctly, it seemed that this Duke-Whatever did not feel so comfortable with the notice. Call it worker's intuition, but in his eyes, and his voice as well, there seemed to be some source of… discomfort, and enmity."
"Worker's intuition?" Godspeed's eyes scrunched hearing those words. "What's that even mean?"
'Ah. Have I never told him what I work as? I could've sworn I told him before…' "Have I not told you that I work?" Moonshine inquired.
"Oh, many times," he replied, taking another swig. "*Gulp* Gaaaah… But! You never told me what your job was exactly."
"Oh! Then I apologize. I thought that I told you my line of work already." 'So I really didn't tell him? Damn. And here I thought he knew why I acted how I did. Tch. Oh well.' She cleared her thoughts, ignoring the reason why she hadn't told Godspeed. Or maybe she herself already forgot.
"Well then. I suppose I shall tell you. I work at a---"
"---You don't trust me," he interrupted suddenly.
"…H-huh?" She blinked from confusement.
"You never told me because you didn't trust me. Remember? You used to be super cautious around me--- or at least that's how you acted, until you just started decking me in the face for everything I said. And then after the huge argument we had you seemed to think that it was better for you to… I don't know, Lock Away your true nature. At least, that's what it seemed to me at the time."
'Uh, where's this guy getting at?' She felt like she triggered an irl quest.
He continued. "But thankfully, it seemed that I managed to change that. Look man, I don't want ya to just hide things from me and stuff, and I don't mean to do that type of stuff either. I kinda have trust problems, ya know? It's been, how long? 2? 3 years since I've had a real talk with people? Just to get stuff off of my chest, it took me visiting a whole new reality and bullying a rookie to somehow feel---" He put two fingers super close together. There was just barely any space you could see between them with your eye.
"---Just this much better about what happened. Before this, All I was trying to do was to keep myself from falling, lower and lower into anabyssal hole. Just trying to find a reason to keep myself going, hoping that everything turns out well... *Sigh* Ya know what?" He took another swig.
"I used to say I had great luck back in the day. Forget about the circumstances when I was born; as soon as I was out of the womb, I was a lucky-streak magnet!" He giggled a little bit, saliva hovering around his lip as he reminisced. "Rock-Paper-Scissors? High chance of winning that! Scratch tickets? Sure I didn't win the jackpot, but I did build up almost 2 thousand bucks with the smaller prizes, keke! And what about my school life? People liked me, I barely got into trouble; shiii~t, I even got together with the girl I loved!
And then it all went to shit."
He drunk the last drops left in his drink, finishing the mug completely. "And now what? What's keeping me happy, and keeping me from going back to that? From going back out 'There?' What's keeping me from breaking down in the middle of a session, triggering myself a disconnection? Nothin', really. Just me blocking off eeee~verything negative. Just closing off my heart, keeping myself from thinking of the past, and All that stuff! Forget about all of that; just enjoy yourself and your present, that's what I say. I mean--- how long do I have l---"
"Woah, Woah, Woah!"
His speech immediately stalled from Moon's exclaiming. She put her hands up, as if to signal for a pause.
What brought this on!? We were just talking about work!"
'Seriously... where did all of that even come from. Here I am, just appeasing him for the moment, as a thanks for the training, and next thing I know: Boom! His life story... Jeez. I seriously didn't expect him to just start spitting out his personal philosophies after a couple of drinks.' (Mugs, Moonshine. He drank Beer Mugs; of course he's drunk!)
"Haaah… Look, God. I... you, and me... we're not exactly super close, ya know?" She decided to throw away the formalities, thinking it would be a better way to get through the swaying character named Godspeed.
"Mmhm." He nodded his head up and down.
"We've only known each other for like, 2, 3 whole weeks or something. We barely know each other, and... I personally don't expect to be sharing much about Me any time soon. I mean, of course I'm---flattered(?)---from you confiding in me, but are you really sure that's okay to do?"
"Hrmmmm..." A low murmur came from his throat, as his face, still down, remained swinging left and right.
"To be honest, the only reason I'm telling you what I work as is so you understand why I've been living how I have, and to have an excuse for anything to come up. Do you understand what I'm getting at?"