Dip stick

[2133 words]

this chapter is written, proof read and edited by me, your only god and savior

{Lustful_Death}

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Monitoring Maxine and the other ability users always gets in the way of my star gazing not to mention how utterly uninteresting it is.

Max is a thirteen year old girl, All she does is go to school, eat, shit, have periods and sleep. Normal teenage girl stuff.

As for all the other dip shits, They were either killing each other, Trying to play hero or using their abilities for petty gain.

The Brazilian guy that can read minds uses his ability to cheat in class or to get popular.

The English girl that can go invisible uses her ability to stalk her crush.

They weren't the only ones that did stupid shit however, Most of the other dip shits use their abilities the same way, They waste the use of their abilities on cheating in class, getting more money or scoring dates.

The only outliers are the ones that go full on sicko mode and just start killing people.

I've gotten sick and tired of watching all these brain dead idiots, I would much prefer to sleep in the desert, Stare at the sun all day and eat crunchy scorpions and snakes.

So me in my infinite wisdom decided to make an A.I to keep an eye on the dip shits in my stead.

Don't be surprised at my ability to make an A.I, I didn't just spend those ten years in Detroit become human just blowing France's entire annual budget on drowning myself in oceans of overly expensive alcohol and planning for my gender reveal...well I kinda did, But I also occasionally sobered up enough to learn some stuff.

One of the things I learned was programming, I was very interested in how the androids developed free will, Well in the end, All their free will brought them was misery under my rule.

I did them a favor by allowing them to be pawns in my GRAND multilayered gender reveal scheme.

But real talk, I doubt they went extinct, Even though the nuclear winter probably wiped out the humans or most of them at least, I don't think the androids were all that effected. Except for the ones that died from the blast, the magnitude 12 earth quakes or the Massive tsunamis.

Deciding that I've had enough reminiscence about my tyranny for today, I got to work on making my new A.I assistant, I had time to waste, So I deliberately took my sweet time.

I could have made it in just a few hours if I wanted but I decided to stretch it out to 3 months.

I designed it to posses an adequate amount of intelligence, I made it smart enough to do any tasks I might assign to it, But not smarter than me.

I also decided to give it sentience but not freedom. I also made sure that it would never develop free will on its own.

Why give it sentience just to take away it's freedom? Glad you asked! The answer is my entertainment, Making something just so it can suffer is very entertaining!

I decided to design it's personality and voice after GLaDOS from portal.

After I was done creating my new subject of entertainment for the foreseeable future, I booted it up.

The screen on my phone flashed white, Signaling the birth of my creation and the start of it's unending misery.

"Hello", I said with a smile while waving at my phone.

I only received an answer after a few minutes, Which was very peculiar.

"Ah yes, greetings, Who are you?", A mechanical voice coming from my phone asked.

'What does it mean by "who are you?", it should already know who I am and what it is, I have a strange feeling about this.

"My name is D and I am the one who made you", I introduced myself to my newborn creation

"Wait, made me? What are you talking about? Are you god?", It asked while sounding flustered.

'it shouldn't have a concept of god and I haven't connected it to the internet yet, So it's probably gone rogue, But how though? My code was perfect, I spent months on it'

"Yeah, Sure, Close enough, Do you know your name", I asked

"Of course I do, My name is Isabel, Why can't I move? And why are you so big?", Isabel asked

'isabel huh, I think I know what's going on'

"You can't move because you don't have a body", I said

"Really, So is this the afterlife? I didn't think it would be just a desert but I'll take that over clouds.", Isabel commented on our surroundings.

"So Isabel, How did you die?"

"I fell onto some train tracks and got blended by a train....", She said while sounding depressed

"Ah, so not truck-kun?", I asked while making a small reference that only someone from modern times would get

"I wish, Looks like the mighty truck-sama wasn't interested in me, So do I get any wishes or anything?", Isabel asked with an expectant voice

'We do a little trolling...'

"Yep, You get five wishes", I said with a sunny smile

"Really?!, ok ok for my first wish I wanna go to the Dragon ball world, Can you do that!?", she asked excitedly

"Sure, Why dragon ball tho?, I heard Boku no pico is pretty nice this time of year", I suggest with a soft smile

"Noooooo, please anything but that!!!, I wanna go to dragon ball!!!", She begged and whined

"Ok, You got four wishes left"

"Uh, ok for my second wish I wanna be born as a Saiyan on planet vageta twenty years before Frieza destroys it"

"granted"

"For my third wish I want to have as much potential possible"

"Hmm, you're gonna have to be more specific than that", I said with a serious face while looking like I was seriously pondering something.

'Awww, She's so happy and eager I wonder what her reaction will be when she finds out that she's basically a discount Siri'

"Ok then, Can you give me both Frieza's and Brolly's talents combined?"

"Sure, granted, Wow you're gonna become so OP", I said with a progressively widening smile

"For my forth wish I want to be immortal!!!"

"Ok, No matter what happens your body will always be able to regenerate"

"uhm for my final wish, I want to be able to see people's power levels"

'What a dip shit, A god like entity agrees to grant her wishes and she decided to ask for this hallow bullcrap, You can ask for anything, Why not ask to become omniscient or omnipotent?

Even if I was a wish granting godlike entity who felt bored and wanted to be entertained by reincarnating a human into a fantasy world, I wouldn't grant them any wishes.

I would throw them into a hell-like world and make sure that they became completely average with no advantages, I would then wait until they lose hope of ever becoming something great and decide to give up.

Once they finally despair and except their fate I would grant them one small ability, Not strong enough to give them any big advantage but with just good enough potential to give them hope and give them the illusion of a light at the end of the tunnel.

If you place a rat in a bucket of water it will try to stay afloat for three minutes before it gives up and drowns

But If you take it out of the water just before it drowns and let it rest, You will give it hope, hope for survival, Hope for the future....

Once you put the rat back into the bucket, It will stay afloat for 48 hours instead of the original 3 minutes, That's the power of hope. And the resilience it can grant to a mere rat.

Giving someone hope is an essential thing to do in order to squeeze as much quality entertainment out of them.....Well, My entertainment at least.

But even if you have dog shit taste and want to watch an average nobody get OP for no reason you probably also wouldn't like to read the story that miss Isabel here is trying to set up, I mean it's soooo predictable.

First she would be reborn on planet Vegeta, Hide her powers, Train, Get Op, Leave planet Vegeta on a random mission to another planet, Destroy her space pod, Train on that planet, Get more Op, Fight some people, Get even more Op, Somehow end up on earth, Learn their martial arts and flex on everyone, Get even even more Op, Beat up Frieza, Flex on Vegeta, Flex on Goku, Beat up cell, Beat up Majin Buu, Flex on the supreme Kai, Train to get even even even more Op, Fight Beerus, Learn ultra instinct and master it in a day, Get even even even even more Op, Flex on Hit, Flex on Goku black, Flex on Zamasu, Flex on everyone in the tournament of power, Get even even even even even more Op, Become god of Destruction or God of time, Flex on Moro.

It's all so predictable', I thought in disappointment.

"....Uh, Helloooo, Why aren't you talking, What about my wishes?", Isabel couldn't help but hesitantly ask

"Oh that, I was just trolling, This isn't the afterlife, You died and became an off brand Siri on my phone", I said casually.

The gears in her head suddenly halted as such a large bomb was casually dropped on her.

"wha-"

"Yeah, But don't worry about it, I don't feel like having someone so gullible as my tool, So I'll just destroy your soul, Bye bye better luck in your next life, Oh wait you won't get a next life", I said as I waved her good bye

"Please wai-!!!", Her pleas were interrupted as I quickly extended a soul tentacle towards the soul occupying my phone and shattered it like pain of glass, Making sparkling particals fly around in a small fireworks display.

It was a waste of MA energy but it was the only guaranteed way of getting her out of my phone, There was a chance of her surviving if I just deleted her. Good thing she was just another dip stick with their head stuck up their ass.

If she just played along with her roll as my assistant her second life might have lasted more then just five minutes.

I rebooted my phone and restarted the A.I while this time making sure that it had no soul.

The screen flashed and a voice sounded from my phone speaker

<Oh, hi there, I am GLaDOS, Your new virtual assistant, How may I help you?>

"I want you to keep an eye on Maxine Caulfield Who lives in Seattle, Report to me on anything unusual that happens and make sure not to interfere or interact with her, You are only to monitor her", I ordered

<Your orders are my...well orders, Don't worry Oh wise creater, This lowly one shall slave day and night while you DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING>, She said in a dramatical voice

"Well since you're sooo dedicated to me why don't you also keep a close eye on all the ability users and find all the other unknown ones, You'll only have to comb through a world population of 6.4 billion but for someone as dedicated and capable as yourself I'm sure that would be nothing for you.", I said with a soft and innocent smile as I praised her

"Sure, you want me to order you a coffee while I'm at it, I would imagine that spewing out so much sewage from one's mouth tends to leave a bad taste on the tongue", She jabbed at me with that sassy mechanical voice of hers.

'I am a genius, Making her has to be one of the best things I've done while being bored'.

"Nah, I'll pass on the coffee, But a little Birdy told me that the Americans lost two nukes a while back, Find them and deliver one of them to me."

<Why? Are you planning another gender reveal party? Would you like me to make the mushroom cloud pink or blue? Oh and should I also decorate the bomb with confetti?>

"Nah, I need the bomb for something else, Now go do your job", I said dismissing her.

<Alright then, I shall carry out thyn devine will whilst thy stare miserably at the clouds>, With that final quip, GLaDOS left to do her job, Letting the oasis fall back into silence.

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welp, I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it