A Promise

I drifted in the void of my unconsciousness for a long, long time. Exactly how long, I didn't know. My thoughts were muted, as if I was in an eternal dream, a passenger in my own mind.

Every so often, in the darkness of my mind, I thought I could hear Eyva talking to me,

Snippets of what she said reached deep down, into the depths of my consciousness where I barely perceived her.

"Oh, little leaf, bear with me a while longer, and you will be safe." She sounded hopeful, just the way she always was.

No matter what happened, she always found a way to hope for better.

…

…

…

"I was a fool to leave you there. I should have ran off with you before all of this…"

She sounded more tired. Some time, maybe quite a bit of time, had passed.

The hope in her voice was not there as much.

I worried.

…

…

…

"More Enforcers." Eyva panted, her voice raspy. She was deeply tired. "I am sorry I made you cough, little leaf, from their smoke and ashes. But I must burn them so that more will not track us.

At the least, their supplies will keep us going…"

More time passed.

"The Vortex…it is still so far away, and my strength…" She paused. "If I go alone, I can reach it myself.

Afterwards, perhaps I can bring back help to you, little leaf, if I hide you away somewhere.

No, no, no, what am I saying? Like this, in this cursed sleep, left alone, unable to move, to even cry for help, you will die.

I cannot leave you. I left you once. Not again."

…

…

…

"We…are here, my child.

Now…Awaken."

Awaken.

The moment I heard that word, light shattered through the prison of darkness that kept my mind adrift and numb.

I awoke in both mind and body.

My thoughts returned to me, as did my senses

My eyes opened wide as I sucked in a deep breath.

I felt burning fire throughout my entire body, as if liquid magma had been poured precisely in every single one of my nerves, through every single vein and artery and blood vessel that built up my circulatory system.

The pain…was immense, agonizing even compared to the worst I had suffered in my past life, when it was all I knew.

I could see nothing but red, hear nothing but ringing in my ears, and feel nothing but pain.

My senses had been awakened, but they were overwhelmed in raw agony.

But…this was a familiar pain.

The pain of energy flowing through my body.

No, not just that, cleansing me, burning away impurities in the very same way that Qi did.

Judging by the severity of the pain, I knew that if I left this type of burning energy to rage within me, without control, it wouldn't just end at clearing impurities.

It would rage on and on until it turned my entire life force into ashes.

So I controlled it.

This energy was not Qi, it felt different, 'heavier' in my being, more laden with power, but the way it flowed was the exact same. And as long as I could perceive it, I could control its flow.

Directing the flow of Qi was primarily an exercise of the mind, one cultivated through endless meditation.

Mind over matter.

The technique to do it was engraved deep into my instinct at this point.

My body and mind adapted on its own, years and years of harsh training from another life rising to the surface.

I took deep breaths.

Closed my eyes.

Shut off the distractions.

I followed the fire burning in my vessels, and I realized then that they were not meant to burn me, to destroy me. They were meant to guide me.

I followed the trail of fire and reached the point where my vessels all intertwined, connecting together in one nexus point.

My core.

The control center.

I reached into my core and activated it, willing it to project control over my burning vessels. It was like my core was one massive dam, and after letting it open, water rushed out, dowsing the fire in my veins.

Within seconds, the pain subsided. The burning faded away, leaving just a warm, almost pleasant feeling flowing through the vessels of my body.

Despite not training for a year, despite putting behind my life of martial arts, I could not deny that the training, beaten into not just my body, but deep into my psyche, was still there.

My Qi control was still top notch.

"Amazing…"

Eyva's voice made me open my eyes again, and this time, instead of seeing blinding red from pain, I could see clearly. Her face was right above mine, her usual smile warmly drawn on her pretty pale face.

"Eyva?" I asked, immediately sitting up. "Where are we? It's dark, but there's light. No, wait, the light…it's coming from me?"

I looked down at my hands in wonder. My veins were lit up under my skin in faint, glowing orange.

"Yes, my little leaf. You have Awakened," said Eyva. "As promised, I synchronized with you. I made your spirit roots burn, forcing them to Awaken. It also cleansed you of your cursed slumber.

I wish I knew a more painless way to do it, but flame elf synchronicity is one that treats life force like flame, and fire is always chaotic, always painful."

"Awakened? So…so I can use magic?" I said, excitedly. "I thought I was a Fell..."

"You are," said Eyva. She patted my head. "Your roots are 'sealed'. They cannot flow mana out of the body. But that does not mean you cannot control the flow of mana within your body.

Now that you are Awakened, you can now sense and control your internal mana flow." Eyva touched my cheek gently. "Truthfully, I do not know how much that will help you.

Internal mana control is useful for beasts and demi-humans that can use Forces, innate power in their very blood and bodies, but as a human, you have no such natural weapons.

No claws, no mighty breath, no poisons, nothing to empower with your mana.

You are limited with just your two arms, two legs, and this cute, soon to be handsome face."

"Trust me, Eyva, I can make things work, even with just that," I said.

I knew from my past life that the human body could be honed as a deadly weapon. Everything from the elbow down to the fingers could be trained into weapons easily as capable as knives.

Again, my hopes of being a proper mage were crushed, but at the very least, I now knew I was not powerless.

With my previous experience with Qi, I could control my internal mana flow very well. I could use it for martial arts again.

I had a feeling that mana was much more efficient than Qi, but I still needed time to condition my body.

The way Qi worked in my past life was that it was essentially flowing life force, and though that sounded mystical and cool, it was not that glamorous.

At its baseline, all it did was let you heal your injuries faster by speeding up the body's natural recovery processes.

You could not just shove Qi into your fist and make it super strong. Well, you could, but Qi was a multiplying force rather than one that added a flat boost. If the baseline strength of my punch was weak, shoving Qi into it would not make it that much stronger.

The only way to make Qi effective was to train with it.

Essentially, it was easier to think about Qi being a training amplifier more so than anything else.

For example, you could lift weights until you were sore, then recover faster with Qi. The Qi would nourish your muscles and bones, strengthening them permanently.

Repeat that process over and over gain to slowly but surely gain muscle and strength.

Kind of like steroids, but mystical.

The higher the amount of Qi in your body, the more you could exceed human limitations until you could go from lifting water buckets to cars. But to reach that level in the first place, you needed to train.

From my first experience in controlling mana flow, I knew that it was denser than Qi, meaning I could probably train much harder with it and reach much higher limits.

I would be able to relearn all my old techniques. I could probably innovate even more as I grew more familiar with mana.

I could protect Eyva so that something like this never happened again.

That was until the Fell curse made me an insane mutant, but hopefully, I could find some kind of cure for that later on.

Or, if I was lucky, maybe I could even meditate it out. I could do the same with most poisons that came into my body, but I had a feeling that a curse was very different from a poisoned needle.

"You really are a genius, little leaf," said Eyva. "Using synchronicity to force an Awakening takes days to work, days of agony for the ritual bearer to struggle past the pain and control their mana, but you did it in seconds.

Just as I thought, my little leaf is destined for greatness."

I got a good grasp of what Eyva did. It was basically like jumpstarting a car. Introducing a big chunk of energy to get my engine started, albeit in very painful fashion.

"Don't worry about me, Eyva. Remember, I told you I could handle it," I said.

"I should never have doubted you, my little leaf."

"But…where are we?" I asked, looking around. The light from my internal mana dimmed down, and darkness took over. It looked like we were in some form of cavern, underground where light failed to pierce.

In the place of sunlight, though, I could see glowing blue light up ahead, emanating up from the ground.

I heard the sound of rushing, swirling water a few meters in front of me, where the light shone.

"A Vortex," said Eyva. She stood up, held my hand, and led me to the edge of what looked like a massive whirlpool.

The water, however, was outlined with a ghostly blue.

"You can see it now, can you not? Now that your eyes are Awaekend. The energy of the Swirl. The blue of mana," said Eyva. "Much like the Swirl Tides, though the shade of blue is much paler, less pure."

"I can."

"The Swirl flows beneath the entirety of the Materia. It is connected, in essence, to every corner of physical space we tread upon. That is why mana is so prevalent.

Vortexes are holes in the Materia that lead into the Swirl and out to another in some other space. I know not where this one leads, but you must nonetheless take it, for it is dangerous here."

I nodded.

Basically, this thing was a wormhole. I wasn't awake for the journey to get here, but I knew from what little I heard from Eyva during my unconscious state that she was being hunted. That we were being hunted.

No doubt, this was our ticket to escape.

"Let's go," I said, tugging at Eyva's hand.

"No."

"What?" I looked back at Eyva. "Isn't that why we're here? I know I was asleep, but I heard something you said. People are after us, right? We have to go.

Are they here?"

I looked around, but sensed nobody near us. Just the sound of rushing water that got ever louder.

She stared down at me, tears glistening in her dull red eyes. She shook her head. "No. Nobody is here. Not yet, at least. But I cannot go with you."

"Why not!?" I did not understand. Why was she going to leave me? Where was the need if there were no enemies to deal with?

Eyva knelt down, reaching eye level with me. She put one hand on my shoulder, then the other at her chest. She peeled off several leaves and branches that formed her living armor.

My eyes widened.

There was a gaping, black charred hole where flesh was supposed to be.

Where her heart was supposed to be.

An artificial heart made of red energy beat in empty space there, constructed by her magic.

"I was a fool to challenge a Magic Lord," said Eyva. "Your father… was out of my league. But I still managed to rescue you, and that is all that matters."

"There must be some way to heal that!" I said. In a world full of magic, there must have been some way to fix that? Right?

That was all I could think in my panicked state.

Eyva coughed, blood spilling from her pale lips, dousing my hopes. The heart flickered, growing slightly more transparent, as if at any moment, it would just fade away.

"It is a miracle I have kept myself alive for this long," said Eyva. "But I cannot last much longer. When I made you Awaken, I used up most of the mana I have left to keep this false heart beating.

Even now, I feel my eyes growing heavier and heavier, that at any moment, I may sleep to never wake again.

But I held on, little leaf, to say goodbye."

"I-," My words caught in my throat. I didn't know what to say. I was seeing the only person that loved me in this world, who loved me ever, fading away right before my eyes. I felt overwhelmed. Crushed.

"It is okay, little leaf," said Eyva, still smiling.

"How…how can you stay smiling like that, even now?" I asked in despair. I had no idea how she could stay smiling in the weight of this loss. It must have been far worse for her; she was the one dying.

Yet, how did she still smile?

"My people do not believe that death, at least in the human sense, is the end. Yes, our bodies may wither and return to the soil, but that is inevitable," said Eyva. "What death means to us is being forgotten.

Even when our mortal shells are long gone, turned to nourishment for the forest, so long as we are remembered, we live on.

Many say that is why elves live such long lives. To carry the weight of memories of all that were and are around them.

I want you, my dear child, to carry my life on."

Eyva drew in close with a warm embrace. She held my head close to her chest as she rested her cheek atop my head. "I know it is selfish of me and that I am not your mother by blood, but I still wish to give you a name.

No child should pass their naming ceremony without one."

"You are my mother," I said firmly. "More than anyone else. I'll take any name you give me."

"I am happy to hear that." Eyva trembled, and I could tell she was holding back on crying to show me strength. "Uldan. I want you to take that name.

If, in times to come, you reach Elven lands, to my home of Tir Nala, that name will be important."

"But how?" I stammered. "I'll never live that long. The Fell Curse, it'll kill me before then." I balled my fists in anger at myself. "I couldn't protect you, and I can't remember you. Not for long. In the end…I couldn't do anything for you."

Eyva noticed my anger and used a soothing voice with me, the same one she talked to me with when I was an infant. It sounded like warm honey. Sweet and gentle. Reminiscent of good times that seemed so very far away now.

"Do not worry about your curse," said Eyva. Her body started to get warmer, then hot, burning hot, her skin glowing a orange-red like live embers. "I will synchronize with you one last time.

I will give you the flame of my life, what little I have left. It will ward the curse off, and it will grant you a fragment of my lifespan.

With it, you may live long, my child, longer than any human."

Eyva drew back and held my face in her hands. She looked at me with sad but hopeful eyes. "Do not blame yourself for any of this. You are without fault.

And you said you could not do anything for me.

That is simply not true.

There is still one thing you can do for me: I want you to make a promise with me."

I felt warm tears well up in the corners of my eyes. "What…what is it?" I spoke with slow words, as if every single word I said came closer and closer to Eyva letting go of her life, leaving me forever.

"Promise me you will live a long, happy life. It is all I want from you. It is all that you deserve after this world treated you with such cruelty."

I closed my eyes to shut off the tears. I nodded, trying to show Eyva the same strength she showed me. "I promise. I'll live long. I'll go to Tir Nala, I'll meet your mother and brother and tell them what you did for me. I'll get stronger, I'll…I'll-,"

I opened my eyes, and Eyva was gone. I could still feel the heat of her hands around my cheeks, but it was rapidly fading.

Where she had been kneeling, there was nothing but red, yellow and orange leaves.

Leaves of fall, floating away.

I desperately reached out to the leaves, grasping at them, but they scattered into specks of light that the darkness soon ate up, leaving nothing behind.

I knelt there, in the dark, hearing the rush of water grow numbingly loud in my ear. I stared at my empty hands, feeling them grow cold as the last remnants of Eyva's warmth disappeared.